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chapter seven;
hypothetically useful
James was holding back a grin by the time the Order meeting ended. It wasn't as if they'd gotten assigned a mission, not exactly, but they were waiting for one—that was better than nothing.
Moody had been barking through the whole hour and though he was paying attention James wasn't exactly listening— his mind was divided between the Order and hearing the Prewett twins relating their most recent encounter with a particular violent pair of Death Eaters, and Amaya Santoro, who was currently, not like it was anything new, seated in the library in his house.
Though his attention was immediately brought back when Moody barked, "And you four morons, have to prepare."
No one needed any clarification, but ever the cheeky sod, Sirius feigned confusion, "Who?"
Moody had growled and launched into the explanation of their mission. The Order had people tailing some known Death Eaters and some people they believed to be Death Eaters, and they believed they were close to finding a spot where common occurrences happened and where they most often met up—it wouldn't be a meeting spot for serious stuff, more like a Death Eaters after work club to decompress, at least that's what James gathered.
Thus, they believed that the four morons were good enough, and inconspicuous enough to eventually do a steak out and observe interactions, to see if they could spot anything unusual or useful.
The meeting had ended on a slightly somber note, as the younger members were grimly warned that if they hadn't been confronted by now by someone in You-Know-Who's league for recruitment they should be careful, and ready for said encounters.
Most people who denied the recruitment were killed, and so they were told not to go out alone, keep to themselves, and avoid places where the Death Eaters might be. But even that warning didn't tamper down James' excitement.
"We're gonna do something, lads," he had said, clapping his friends' shoulders once the meeting was over.
The members of the Order started to file out of Longbottom Hall and James and his friends, plus Lily and Marlene were left, taking up the vacant seats at the dining table.
"Technically you might do something," teased Lily.
James clicked his tongue. "Nope. I'm not going to hear any negativity, Evans. We're finally being useful."
She merely shrugged her shoulders with a pretty smile that used to make his insides warm and a full-blown grin to grow on his face. At the moment it did nothing more than pull a smile out of him.
Perhaps he wasn't resigned to accepting they'd never be anything more; perhaps he was truly over the redhead. And even if he wasn't, James liked having her as a friend.
"Well, I'm not doing anything," said Marlene, her shoulders slumping. "Lily has her potions and you lot your delusions, what do I get?"
"My cock?" tried Sirius with a smirk and yelped when the blond witch hit him beside the head.
"You're a pig, Black."
"Fuck pigs often, Mckinnon?" he replied with his brows raised.
She just ignored him while the others snickered. "I want to do something useful too," said Marlene, her eyes sparkling with determination, "Like Amaya, you know. Do something that will benefit the war. I'm sick and tired of being just a member when I know I could help."
Silence fell upon them and James was sure every single one of them felt the same way as Marlene. The war had started before they were at school, and at Hogwarts, they'd been mostly guarded by the castle's walls, but now that they were out they wanted to do something. It was true they were the youngest members of the Order of the Phoenix but that didn't make them useless.
He knew, for example, that Marlene was a great strategist, he surely hadn't imagined her handing him his arse on a platter every time he played a match of chess with her; and Lily was just a brilliant witch, with a good heart and fiery persona who was made to do something for others, not just brew whatever potions the Order needed—not that that was a bad thing.
All of them had been chosen for the Order for a reason, and James was excited that they were finally being considered for tasks.
"Well, apparently, Amaya has the key to the end," said Peter, breaking the silence.
James' brows raised. "Apparently? You don't buy it?"
Peter shrugged. "Honestly? I'm not sure."
"It is a fair point," said Remus, and James frowned.
"So, you lot have no faith in her?" he asked and for some reason, he was offended in her stead.
"I have infinite faith in the bird," assured Sirius casually, leaning back on his chair, his arm thrown over the back of Marlene's, "She's too pretty to be a liar."
Lily snorted from beside him and rolled her eyes. "Where's Amaya either way?"
"She's home, studying herself to exhaustion on how to end this war," said James, barely keeping the bite off his tone.
He just couldn't understand why they doubted her. Sure, they knew nothing about her mission but James had seen her, he'd seen her spend hours in the library, worrying herself; she had done more in the few days she'd been there than they had since they left Hogwarts. Besides, his parents had vouched for her and so had Dumbledore—and the latter didn't just throw his trust around.
"I don't doubt that," said Remus after a pause. "I'm just saying it sounds too good to be true."
"So, she's a liar?"
"No, Prongs, I'm just saying that she might have a solution or a hint, but it might not pan out." Remus shrugged. "If Dumbledore believes her then so do I, but I just wished we had something more than just his word."
"Yeah, whatever." James shrugged, before painting a grin on his face, even though it felt forced. "We should celebrate anyway, for our soon-to-be mission. Your place?"
"Let's get take out from that Muggle place!" added Marlene before looking up at Sirius with a grin, all the previous tension forgotten. "You need to get me one of those weird deserts you like."
Soon they were all headed to the Floo, only James felt a hand on his arm and was stopped by Lily who glanced at the others before looking up at him. "Can we talk for a second?"
James felt a fluttering in his chest and he nodded, following the witch to an alcove close by. He'd imagined this scenario multiple times before and in all of them Lily claimed her eternal love for him and in the least dirty ones, he'd snogged her silly.
For some reason, the prospect that might happen, no matter how unrealistic, caused a pit in his stomach. Whether it was nerves or dread he wasn't sure, but he did know he didn't share his past self's opinion anymore. Because at this moment, having Lily pronounce her love for him was far from what he wanted.
Of course, that wasn't the case, and James was only overthinking because the words out of Lily's mouth were far from, "I love you, James, let's be together forever."
"It's about..." Lily paused, sighing grimly and James was starting to worry. "I spoke to Sev—Snape."
He froze. "Lils—"
"I know," she cut him off before he could go on a rampage, "I know that he's with You-Know-Who. I was in the same meeting as you when they told us. But—"
"But? Lily, you have to report that, he's dangerous, what if he'd hurt you—"
"He didn't," said Lily defensively. "And since when do you care about reports—"
"Since he's a Death Eater —"
"Just listen. "
His nostrils flared for a moment and his jaw clenched but James nodded. "Alright."
"He was... He seemed to be convinced You-Know-Who will try to recruit me, you, whoever else—"
"I know. We've been warned—"
"That's not all. James, Regulus Black is set to join His ranks by the time he graduates," Lily said lowly, and James' brows raised to his forehead. He knew Regulus Black hung out with all sorts of wrong people (his parents to name a few), but he was Sirius' brother, and though inevitable, this was far from being good news. Lily seemed to share the same feeling. "He took the Mark this summer already. I had to tell someone, Sirius will be devastated—"
"We can't report this," James said and Lily gave him a look that said, I know. "Sirius will have a fit."
"I know."
"We have to tell him, though."
"I know."
"How?"
"I don't know." Lily shrugged helplessly. "That's why I told you. You're his best friend, I figured you knew what to do."
James took a shaky breath, running a hand through his head as he thought. Sirius deserved to know, and just because Regulus had been branded it didn't mean he... Well, perhaps he shared some of the arsehole's views, but from the way Sirius spoke about his brother (after a good amount of drinks in him, or late at night on his birthday), Regulus wouldn't hurt a fly.
And it was clear whoever went against You-Know-Who didn't meet a nice end. For a moment James thanked the gods Sirius escaped that horrible house of his when he did—disowned or not, he was better off. They had to tell him though. Just not today.
"I'll figure out a way to tell him," said James, and Lily nodded. He paused. "Wait. How did Snape find you? I thought you were living with the Mckinnon's."
"I am, I just... I was visiting my parents," Lily admitted quietly. "Of course, I won't be doing it anytime soon if it means I'm so easily found."
James' brows furrowed, and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the witch and she buried her face in his shoulder. "If you want to go, you can just tell one of us," he whispered, "That way you don't have to go alone and you have a backup."
"Thank you, James," Lily said with a sniff as she pulled away and briskly wiped away her tears. She let out a laugh. "I'm sorry about the negativity."
He rolled his eyes, throwing an arm around her shoulders as he steered them to the Floo. "We're friends. You can talk to me anytime. Besides, now I really want to go on that mission and see if we can find Snivellous, you know, maim him a little—" He yelped when she kicked his shin.
"You'll do no such thing, James Potter! You're supposed to be inconspicuous. Besides, Severus was warning me. He didn't hurt me."
"Alright. But if he attacks first, it's fair game."
Her eyes couldn't roll more otherwise they'd get stuck. Lily haughtily threw her hair over one shoulder and stepped into the Floo, grabbing some of the powder. "How does Amaya tolerate living with you, again?"
"Uh, I'm a delight, Evans. Everyone knows that."
"Do they, now?" He nodded and she let out a laugh. "Speaking of her, can you get Amaya to come hang out tonight? I want to meet her again."
"Yeah, she's a pretty wicked." He grinned. "I was already going to ask her, anyway."
"Of course you were."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Rolling her eyes, almost exasperated, Lily merely smiled at him before disappearing between green flames. James was getting really annoyed at the strange smiles he was getting from people around him. Bloody wankers, he thought as he Floo'd to the flat.
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