Selina
"Thank you, my dear Selina, your touch is so gentle!" madame Rossi tells me, gently tapping my cheek with her soft, wrinkled hand. "You're welcome, madame Rossi. If only all patients could be as calm as you when they see a needle," I say, smiling as I apply the bandage before packing up my tools.
"Come now, my child, you're just at the beginning of the journey. How long have you been a nurse? Six months? Seven months?" she asks, raising her eyebrows,"four," I reply in a small voice, lips pressed together.
"Well, my dear, you have a long way to go. You won't have difficulty anyway; you're young, and I can recognize a strong woman when I see one..." "oh, if you only knew," I smile, grabbing the tray,"I cry at the slightest thing—a movie, a kitten, a baby..." "we women have big hearts, beauty. God gave them to us to brighten this dark world with our feelings but also to fight the monsters it harbors."
She smiles at me and laughs as she sees my eyes gleaming, I wish her a good evening and leave, closing the door behind me. The hospital corridors are quiet as I make my way to the break room to catch a few hours of sleep, but that was before my phone starts making a sound indicating an emergency.
"Damn," I place my tray on one of the carts before rushing to the emergency department, I furrow my brows, seeing numerous men in black suits casting dark glances at everyone. "Selina!" Luca shouts, sticking his head out from behind a curtain, I join him under the suspicious gazes of the newcomers. Arriving at his side, I spot an unconscious man on a stretcher.
"I'll take care of him; he's bleeding. Go to the next cubicle; there are stitches to be done," my supervisor informs me, I quickly move to the indicated cubicle.
"I am okay, Alia. Stop crying. I'm fine; it's just a cut," says the man sitting on the bed, holding the hand of the young woman beside him. He looks up when I enter, and our eyes meet, blood flows from a cut on his cheek. He freezes as I approach, staring intensely at me, making me uneasy, I quickly turn away, disinfecting my hands.
"Good evening, I'm Selina. I'll take care of your wound, Mr...", "Rasili," he replies, smiling, extending his hand. I gaze at him for a moment, hesitating before reluctantly shaking his hand, feeling nothing but coldness.
I wake up with a start, grumbling at the pain shooting up my arm, I glance down at my son, peacefully sleeping against my side. A dream, just a dream, no, a memory the one that marked the beginning of my nightmare, after kissing Rafael's forehead, I push the covers away and get up shivering in the cool air, only now realizing that I'm soaked. Heading to the bathroom, I grab my painkillers and return to the bedroom to swallow them with a glass of water but another grunt escapes me at the empty bottle. Damn it. I sigh, don a light cardigan over my tank top, and head for the exit.
I crack the door open, peering into the silent hallway illuminated by LEDs along the walls, closing the door softly, I start walking towards the white stairs leading downstairs, clutching the pill bottle. I shiver again as my bare feet touch the cold marble as I descend as quietly as possible, glancing around.
Entering the kitchen with cautious steps, I place the medicine on the counter and open the fridge for a water bottle and grab a glass from the dishwasher. Gritting my teeth as the pain intensifies, I swallow two pills and lean against the counter, eyes shut, it'll be okay, it'll be okay. I grip the counter with my free hand, trying to forget the pain, the hairs on my neck stand on end, and I know I'm being watched, a sensation I've learned to feel over the past eight years when I was the prey of a monster.
I straighten up, turning slowly toward the second door leading to the living room, tensing when I see Nikolai Ivanov standing there, still dressed in his black shirt with rolled-up sleeves revealing his muscular forearms and dress pants.
His eyes travel up my bare legs, exposed by the shorts Elif lent me to sleep, then to my cast, and finally meet mine. "You felt me watching you," he says, crossing his arms and leaning his shoulder against the door frame, I say nothing, just staring at his feet adorned with black slippers, I had been surprised to see them all removing their shoes when we arrived, providing us with slippers as well.
"Elif doesn't want us wandering around with our shoes. Once, she hit Roman with a wooden spoon, right in the knee, a very strategic spot." he say with a smirk and I laugh, picturing Elif chasing Roman throughout the house with a wooden spoon. "You have a dimple on your right cheek," Nikolai suddenly says in his deep voice, surprising me, I raise my eyes and meet his gaze.
He straightens up and begins to advance towards me slowly, unconsciously, I step back, but I don't go far, blocked by the counter. He reaches my height, and I remain frozen, my gaze fixed on his shirt, his scent tickles my nose, a mix of fresh, sweet, and acidic?
He raises his hand to my face, and instinctively flinch, closing my eyes, tensing. I feel his fingers graze my chin, tracing the line of my jaw, pushing my hair behind my ear his breath brushes my forehead. I eventually lift my head and meet his gaze, his fingers trace the bruise on my right cheek, then they descend to my lips, brushing the cut, his eyes linger there before meeting mine.
"How long?" he asks, continuing to caress my cheek with his knuckles.
I feel my lips trembling as his question brings up numerous painful and dark memories. I shake my head, trying to pull away, but his hand swiftly slides around my neck, preventing me, his thumb continues to caress my throat. "No, answer me, solnychko (shining sun)." I raise my teary eyes, trying to calm myself, "eight," I whisper with a trembling voice, he takes a deep breath, bringing his face closer, and this time I don't pull back, keeping my gaze locked with his, our noses almost touching.
We stare at each other for a few seconds, and he finally leans in, brushing his lips against my cheek, I close my eyes, inhaling gently as my throat tightens—a gesture so soft and tender, one I've never experienced before.
He pulls back but doesn't release me, opening a drawer beside me and taking out a tube, "for the bruises on your face," he says, showing it to me. I raise my hand to take it but he pull back, "let me do it," he says, withdrawing his hand, my neck instantly cools, leaving me with a sense of emptiness. "I can do it myself," I retort, trying to reach for the cream again, but he steps back, shaking his head.
"I know you can do it alone, Selina, but you don't have to do it alone anymore," he insists, stepping back into my space, placing his hands on the counter behind me, framing me. "You're not alone anymore, Selina. You don't have to fight alone anymore," he says, staring straight into my eyes, and all I want to do is believe him.
Nikolaï
Selina looks at me for a few more seconds with her beautiful green eyes, hesitating, and eventually lowers her hand, giving up on retrieving the tube. I nod in satisfaction and uncork the cream, putting a small amount on the tip of my index finger. "Don't move," I say as she leans her head away while I approach with my finger, she bites her lips, closes her eyes, and remains still. She flinches when the cool cream touches her skin as I apply it to the bruise on her cheek.
I grit my teeth at the numerous marks on her face and legs, especially her calves, where the white lines stand out against her tanned skin. I move to the wound on her chin, which is starting to turn a violet hue, she moans, making me grimace. Damn it. Finally, I reach her lips, and when her eyes open, it's worse than all the bullets I've taken so far, I finish applying the balm to her wound, her breath escaping from slightly parted lips, caressing my fingers. "And there you go," I say, stepping back to put away the tube and wash my hands. "Thank you," she whispers behind me.
I hear her steps moving away, but she stops, I sense her hesitation and unfortunately, her fear when she finally speaks, "for how long? For how long do I not have to fight alone?" she asks me softly. I grip the marble, my eyes staring into emptiness, I don't respond, I can't when the shadow of the Italian danger looms over my family.
But everything fades away when I hear a discreet sniffle and footsteps moving away.
Before I even realize it, I'm near her, grabbing her uninjured arm and turning her around. Her body gently collides with mine, and a sob escapes her as I look into her teary eyes, her damp cheeks, and trembling lips. "I'm sorry, I know our presence puts your family in danger. I shouldn't have asked you that, I..." She falls silent when my thumb rests against her lips,"what have you done to me, woman? You can't even imagine all the fucking things I'm ready to do for you and your son," I say, furrowing my brows and strangely out of breath, she shakes her head, squeezing my arm. I close my eyes, inhaling, and finally release her, stepping back with my fists clenched in my pockets. "Go to sleep with your son, Solnychko," I say, turning away, there's a moment of silence before I hear her footsteps quickly fading away.
I place my hands against the island, bending, trying to calm myself, trying to clear my thoughts that have never been so blurry in thirty-two damn years. But nothing can erase the image of the woman with green eyes looking at me as if I were her last hope.