The next day, I walk into the school with Xander and Carlo.
Carlo breaks off to go to class, I follow Xander into the front office. Emma is standing in front of the principal's desk. Her nose is a little red. And I realize her flushed nose isn't half as bad as the bruise she left on my wrist that I've had to keep covered since yesterday. It turned a deep burgundy color, 4 crescents created by her nails that have began to scab up. Cheerleader strength at it's finest.
She eyes me with a brief glare before hurrying over to Xander to kiss him.
I avert my eyes, unable to look at them until she finally regains her footing and stands in front of the principal's desk.
"Apologize to her," Xander says standing beside her.
My expression must be angry. My nostrils flare ever so slightly, and tears well in my eyes in broken anger. Emma's face is entirely the opposite, calm with a slight smirk. I look up at Xander hoping he'll snap and realize something else happened in that hallway. He simply clenches his jaw, "Apologize or I'll drive you home myself."
Everything she called me yesterday. Cheating on my brother. Bruising my wrist. And I'm being forced to apologize to her. Threatened in front of her. It's humiliating.
"I'm sorry," I say softly, my voice quiet.
"Louder," Xander scolds.
"I'm sorry," I say louder.
Xander pulls her into a hug, his expression still tense but comforting her still. And I start to wonder, was I just jealous? Did I up-play everything in my head. Daniel used to say I spent too much time in my head rather than paying attention to what's going on outside.
He can show affection, just not to his little sister. Alessandro can hear people out, just not me. My brothers can share a sibling bond based on an equal amount of respect, but I'm left out of that. My chest constricts at the thought that I'm the problem.
I walk quietly out of the office and into my first class.
This is turning out to be a really shitty day.
...
The day goes by slowly and almost uneventfully. I bump into Emma in the hallway, "Watch where you're going, tramp. I would hate for you to have to apologize again," She frowns mockingly, "Though I really hope you learned your lesson."
I clench my fist as hard as humanely possible. I can't give her the satisfaction it clearly gives her when I finally snap because it satisfies her more than it satisfies me. I had (have) a problem with anger, it's in my record from back in Seattle, there were times when I was overtaken with red hot fury, maybe once, other times just pure petty anger.
"You'd think your brothers would be more willing to hear you out! I mean...I'm not even their sister and I always have a shoulder to lean on. But of course, what do I know? Maybe they do listen to you. They give you crumbs and just like a little bitch you're excited to pick them up. I knew Lorenzo, before he died, he was always the kindest. You wouldn't know about that though, would you? I'm sorry, is that insensitive?" She laughs.
She ruffles my hair before walking away, "Pick who you mess with next time."
At first, I don't let her words make it past my ears. But then small memories of the time I've lived here begin trickling in. How they never care about how their rules make me feel, their word is law rather than allowing us to discuss things like the family they swear we are down to how they handled this thing with Emma. They're no different from...
I don't finish that thought.
Once we get back to the house, I walk in furiously. "Maddie, come eat," Elijah calls.
I ignore him, storming straight past the kitchen. I'm trying my best to keep my anger under wraps. The twins walk into the house casually.
"You don't hear Elijah calling you?" Xander says.
I storm down the hall and up the stairs.
"Madison," Elijah calls.
My fury is eating away at my resolve. My stomach is churning, my heart is pounding so hard I can feel throughout my entire body. I slam my door shut, releasing the smallest bit of anger, still gallons of it pint up inside of me. I pace back and forth until Elijah opens my door, an angry look on his face, "You don't slam doors in this house, do you understand?" He says with as much calm as possible.
I shake my head to myself, trying not to misplace my anger.
"Look at me," He says.
Xander and Carlo are standing quietly behind him as I pace the floor, trying to maintain what little composure I have left. If anything I thought I could trust Elijah the most, but he would even listen to me! He punished first without ever asking me a single question! He's just like Daniel.
"Maddie—"
"I hate you!" I scream, "I hate you. I hate all of you."
My voice is broken, it sounds shattered to my own ears, it's shaking beyond control and holds every ounce of anger from the past week. Elijah looks shocked, Xander's mouth is slightly open, Carlo looks at a loss for words.
"Don't—"
"No, don't try to pull the respect card on me, because respect goes 2 ways. If you can listen to Xander's liar of a girlfriend, it shouldn't be that hard to listen to me," I say, furiously.
"You hit her—" Xander begins.
"After she did this to me," I shout, pulling my sleeve up and holding up my arm.
Elijah gasps almost inaudibly. Carlo's eyes widen ever so slightly. Xander's jaw tenses, "She didn't..."
I cut him off, tears welling in my eyes, "She was in the hallway, she was hooking up with Gregory Milson in the hallway," I don't know why I find it embarrassing to recount, "So I slapped her. I was angry. She cheated on Xander and I...I respect...Respected Xander, and it made me angry. She called me a slut, an anorexic, she bruised my arm, she said you guys listen to her and don't even listen to me, she compared me to a dog for being excited over the crumbs of respect you show me," I say.
Any anger has merged with pure hurt by this point.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Elijah says.
"When did I get the chance to?!" I say, "You immediately assumed I was jealous and bringing up my home-life saying that I'm just bitter because I was abused. Forced me to go apologize to her. Do you know how humiliating that was?!"
They're quiet.
I look down at the white rug at the foot of my bed, avoiding eye contact, "Do you know how hurtful that was?"