as if the stars had aligned ━ percy jackson¹

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒: The Ballad of Unrequited Love.

✩ ━━━ bonus chapter, the ballad of unrequited love.

HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE CORNY, OR CHEESY, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT THE SIMPLE SIGHT OF HER SET OFF A CASCADE OF OLD LOVE MELODIES IN HIS HEAD, A CHOIR OF ETTA JAMES AND FRANK SINATRA SERENADING HIS HEART. Love is All Around and I Only Have Eyes for You clashed in his thoughts, each note and every tune ringing in his ears like church bells. Salut d'Amour rang true in his heart more and more, Fauré was becoming his favorite, and Naoki Matsuoka was so sick with love that the only thing he could do was think of her.

The day he fell in love with Silena was the day his world transformed into a symphony of emotions, where every beat of his heart was synchronized with the rhythm of her laughter and every breath he took was in harmony with the melody of her voice. The music of their love filled every corner of his being, bringing him a sense of joy and fulfillment he had never known before.

Alright, he had had his fill of metaphors.

Truthfully, loving Silena proved to be the second-most agonizing thing Naoki had ever experienced. The ache in his chest worsened each passing day; he didn't even know her last name, and Naoki was wasting away like a wilting flower, petals torn off like a childish game of she loves me, she loves me not—and it was gruesome, because so far, in his twenty-three years of existence, he has never won that game. He would never win.

If his brother's destiny was to become a legendary hero and join the gods, then Naoki's destiny proved to be an eternity of unrequited love and heartache. He would be forever pining for someone who would never return his affections—be it Silena, Hiroki, his own mother, or a stranger passing by on the street.

Naoki Matsuoka is cursed.

In Japan, he had been lonely. His father passed away before Naoki could engrave his face into memory, leaving him with only fragmented recollections and a lingering sense of loss. His mother had thrown out all of his pictures; she worked multiple jobs to provide for them, or to run from the ghost of his father. leaving Naoki on his own for hours. He dreamt of companionship—someone to alleviate his loneliness, someone small whom Naoki could cradle in his arms and hold in his heart until they couldn't leave him the way his parents did. Someone irreplaceable, who would see Naoki for all his imperfections and the phantoms of his father's smile in him and still love him unconditionally. Anyone who wouldn't leave him with a cheap phone for emergencies. Someone who would stay with him to fend off any monsters lurking in the darkness.

Naoki couldn't picture his father's face, but he still remembered that Hiroki was born weighing 7 lbs, 6 oz. He'd been born wailing and choleric, screaming for the sake of making noise—and Naoki had relished each one because it meant his home would never be silent again. They were born with matching black hair and dark brown eyes; his mother stayed home, recovering from childbirth, but she was with him, and Hypnos had followed, claiming his son with a voice as soothing as a lullaby and an offer to be family.

Hisa had accepted; the cheap phone sat in a drawer, collecting dust, and his brother's eyes had lightened, like a treasure being cleaned of filth to reveal its true brilliance. Naoki didn't mind being the grime that was washed away, as long as Hiroki shone brightly—as long as he lit their shared path.

In the United States, he had been loved. Like the color of his eyes, Hypnos brought gold—wealth and prosperity. Naoki had never experienced such abundance before, and it brought a sense of security he had never known. With Hypnos by their side, they were able to create a comfortable and stable life in a foreign country, free from the hardships they had faced in the past. His mother played the first violin in the renowned New York Symphony Orchestra; she radiated elegance and grace as she commanded the stage. Naoki was enrolled in a private academy. Hypnos raised Hiroki with enough love to overwhelm the universe, the spillage of it inundating Naoki with a warmth and contentment he had never imagined possible.

Naoki's days were filled with laughter and joy as he watched his brother grow under their parents' nurturing presence. A world bursting with limitless possibilities and boundless love has taken the place of the miserable future that Naoki once feared.

Then Hiroki left to carry out his birthright as a hero, ripping their parents' hearts and taking them with him, as if reminding Naoki who owned them. He was alone once more.

He had been loved once, enough to reveal to him what it meant.

Then he had not been loved enough, left to miss it along with the void his brother had left all those years ago.

Every Christmas was spent in silence, and Thanksgivings were ignored, since Hisa had nothing to be thankful for if Hiroki wasn't by her side. The only father Naoki had ever known disappeared for months at a time, drifting to the heavens like a balloon untethered without his child to ground him, and no one ever thought of Naoki because he did well at school and he had friends and an expensive instrument collection—and that's meant to be enough, even if some nights his mother drank enough wine to see Hiroki instead of him.

Hiroki Matsuoka is half-god, and Naoki will only ever be mortal in all his filth, but it's okay because Hisa isn't an alcoholic, and Hypnos does care for him, just from afar. It's fine because Naoki can force himself to laugh until the lack of oxygen feels like it might kill him.

If his brother's destiny was to become a legendary hero and join the gods, then Naoki's destiny proved to be an eternity of unrequited love and heartache. Hiroki could swallow the glory of it all alongside their parents' devotion and bask in the admiration of the gods; Naoki had given up.

Well, he had given up until he noticed that Silena's favorite drink is a strawberry white mocha with brown sugar foam. Until he saw how the red of the fruit tinted her lips as she took a sip and how her eyes sparkled with delight when she entered the music store and found her favorite album on vinyl—the original pressing of Edith Piaf's "The Best Of" record, released by Capitol Records in the 1960s, still sealed in its original packaging as if it had been waiting just for her.

Suddenly, a glimmer of hope flickered in Naoki's heart.

None of his past relationships ever truly worked—Naoki is cursed, after all, and each of the petals of the roses he gave always withered and died within days, always settling on 'she loved me not' like a broken record. But Silena did not like flowers because her heart clenched at the thought of cutting them from their roots. Instead, she preferred to crochet bouquets with yarns of soft blushing pink and yellow, carefully crafting each petal with her own hands.

Silena's petals are not like those of real flowers. They would forever stay vibrant and beautiful, securely attached to their wire stems, never wilting or fading with time. Nobody could pluck them off or damage them.

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To Naoki, hope ended up being named Silena.

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In gratitude for finding Lucienne Delyle's 1976 vinyl—a rare gem missing from her collection—she had given him yellow lilies, wrapped around metal to resemble the real thing and infused with a delicate fragrance. Naoki had accepted it like Hiroki had accepted his divine fate.

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It was a good day.

Not even his brother's hideous face and the presence of his pets could dampen his happiness today. Not that Hiroki even bothered to acknowledge Naoki now, of course, disappearing into his bedroom without a word or a glance, but the sentiment remained.

The guitar in his hand made an awful sound.

Naoki jumped at the unexpected note, his fingers fumbling on the strings.

He didn't like thinking about his brother. He readjusted his grip on the guitar, trying to regain his composure. As he strummed a few chords, the familiar melody washed away his thoughts of Hiroki. He thought of her—Silena and her vintage perfumes. Silena and her Vivienne Westwood jewelry. Silena and her Lirika Matoshi clothing. Silena and her... What color are her eyes again? Naoki couldn't remember very well. The shade of her hair, either. But he could remember the way her laughter sounded, like wind chimes on a summer breeze. He could recall the warmth of her hand as she handed him a yarn bouquet and the way her smile lit up the music store as if it were filled with sunlight.

Naoki's heart ached; he missed Silena.

Then Nico di Angelo's laughter rang out from the stairs. It was an awful sound, like bones grinding together. Naoki cringed at the noise; his thoughts abruptly pulled away from his longing for Silena. He turned to see Nico descending the stairs to the apartment unit, carried on Hiroki's shoulders, followed by a grinning Percy Jackson. Naoki's heart sank even further.

"You shouldn't be doing this!" Nico screeched as Hiroki pretended to drop him. His brother carried his youngest pet out of the store without glancing at him once; the other pet remained, turning to Naoki with flushed cheeks from the rush of happiness. "We're taking Nico to the beach," Percy explained, as if Naoki cared. "He's never seen the ocean before, so we thought it would be a fun experience for him."

Naoki forced a smile. "It's the middle of winter," he reminded the dog kindly.

"Oh, it's fine!" Percy reassured him with a grin, and his teeth were perfect, just like the rest of his face—just like the rest of his life. "We're going to shadow travel to the Bahamas. It's warm there all year round, so Nico will be able to enjoy the beach even in winter."

Naoki nodded, refusing to acknowledge the pang of jealousy biting at his heart. "Bring me a souvenir, will you?" He said, trying to hide it. Percy chuckled and promised to bring back something special for him; he would, too, because Percy is one of the kindest people Naoki has ever known.

He bit his tongue; he bit it until it shifted into a grin, and he practiced his guitar until his fingers ached. Just as the calluses on his fingertips grew too painful, the bell of the front door rang, interrupting his playing. Naoki jumped up. "Welcome to Marutsuke," he called out.

His heart fluttered.

Silena looked like a goddess. She walked cautiously, her steps delicate and graceful, as if she were mindful of breaking the pristine silence of the room. Her eyes shifted around, searching for someone—then she saw him, and she grinned.

"Hi, Naoki," she said, greeting him with a soft smile. Her hair is a soft brown, like the warm hues of autumn leaves. It cascaded down her shoulders, framing her face in a gentle embrace. Naoki's stomach did a somersault as he returned her smile. He had been waiting for this moment for what felt like an eternity.

"It's your fourth time here this week," Naoki commented, raising an eyebrow in amusement. "You haven't been able to stay away, have you?" he added playfully.

The girl's face flushed, painting her cheeks with a lovely hue of delicate peach. "Well, I can't explain it," she admitted shyly. "There's just something about this place... I've been feeling this urge to search for something, and I think it might be here."

Naoki's curiosity piqued; his hands grew sweaty. "Oh," he said, hope unfurling within him. "What is it that you're searching for? Maybe I can help you find it."

But Silena shook her head. Still, she bit her bottom lip, and she stared at Naoki with—with longing, a deep yearning expressed vividly in her cerulean eyes like a crashing wave on a moonlit night. Hope sounded like a dulcet melody, a chanson-style ensemble. "I don't even know what it is myself," she confessed with a light laugh. "I just know that I will find it here. I hope you don't mind my presence as I search."

Naoki's heart skipped a beat. "Nah," he said, hoping it came out casual. "I don't mind at all. In fact, I was actually looking forward to having some company. It gets pretty lonely around here sometimes." He flashed her a warm smile, hoping to ease any lingering doubts she may have had. "Besides, maybe we can help each other find what we're looking for."

Silena's eyes sparkled with gratitude.

She is the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

Waiting has always felt like love to him; it is fine.

It is fine, it is fine. It will be fine.

He thought of her until his shift ended. He thought of her as he took the subway and tutored his evening clients—even when he returned home and had to endure dinner with a suntanned Nico di Angelo. He thought of Silena as he stared at his brother and his boyfriend, covered in sand with obvious matching bite marks on their necks, and underneath all the jealousy and envy, he wanted the same with Silena.

"I've always been scared of the ocean, even when I was younger, before I knew everything!" Nico continued telling Hisa, his black hair the curliest he had ever seen after drying with ocean salt. As he spoke, his hands danced enthusiastically in the air, and his cheeks were plump and bright red—even Naoki couldn't help but find his brother's dog endearing when he noticed the sun-kissed freckles scattered across Nico's nose. He genuinely looked like the child he pretended to be. "But Poseidon didn't even try to drown me because Percy and Micah were there! They taught me how to swim, Hisa!"

His mother looked smitten with the dog, her gaze at peace as she listened to Nico's feverish storytelling as if she could keep up. "I'm glad, Nico." Hisa replied indulgently. She reached out and tousled Nico's hair affectionately, a soft smile playing on her lips. "It sounds like you had quite the adventure with Percy and Hiroki. I'm proud of you for learning how to swim, too. It must've been scary—"

"How is that scary? Isn't his freak ability to telepathically kill people, or whatever? That's way worse than some water." Naoki said, meaning it to come off as a joke, but the bitterness in his words leaked a bit too much; his mother didn't even care when he had graduated as salutatorian. The pang of resentment towards his mother weighed his head down as he realized what he had said.

Nico hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Hisa's expression contorted, as if Naoki's voice had thrown their conversation's melody off-key, disrupting its harmony, but it was Hiroki who replied, continuing to eat his meal without missing a beat.

"Nico is the only child of Hades. He is the prince of the underworld, the king of ghosts." He replied calmly, and Naoki dared to glance at his expression—it was mocking, grinning at Naoki's discomfort as if it were a meal more satisfying than any food on his plate. "I know you're not the brightest mortal, Naoki, but you keep misunderstanding us. Now, I know it is difficult for you to keep up, but think of the Big Three like this: there are three donuts who hate each other, all with their own box, and each donut has a tiny munchkin. To protect those little, precious munchkins from getting eaten, they must stay within—"

Naoki slammed his utensils. "I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Then why the fuck are you picking fights with a twelve-year-old?" Hiroki demanded. All the amusement on his face vanished as his voice grew sharp. "Nico wasn't even talking to you. If you aren't a fucking idiot, why can't you let him be a kid? Why can't you stop provoking us? I know that you are a pathetic failure—"

Hisa stood up and called out, her hands firmly on the table. "Enough!" She exclaimed, her voice filled with authority, but Hiroki rolled his eyes at her. "Teach your son manners," he snapped, his tone dripping with disdain. "Clearly, your style of parenting isn't working out, Hisa, so I'll propose an alternative solution: Next time Naoki does something I don't like, I'll just beat him until he fucking learns to leave us alone."

"Do not threaten the use of violence as a—"

Hiroki sat up; there was a wild glint to his golden eyes. "It isn't a threat; I will do it. When are you going to realize your useless, pragmatic bullshit doesn't work? I'm not going to let anyone insult Nico because you think a cheap apology will solve everything after the damage has been done."

Nico seemed to panic at the mention of his name; he ran off in a hurry, light reflecting off the tears gathering in his obsidian eyes. Hiroki gritted his teeth, glaring at Naoki with enough hatred in his gaze to serve as a stark confirmation of his curse. The son of Hypnos followed after the child, calling out with a gentle tone that reminded Naoki of the time when his brother loved him. Percy sighed jadedly and followed after.

His mother stayed, exuding a sense of defeat so immense that it seemed to drain away her life as she shook her head. "This is your life now," she reminded Naoki, as if he wasn't painfully aware of it. "They're not like us. You will need to adjust—and forgive, and accept. That is the way to love them, Naoki."

But her oldest son shook his head. "I don't need to love them," Naoki replied defiantly, his voice filled with bitterness. "I won't."

Hisa sighed, refraining from reaching out to hold his hand as she would with Hiroki or tousling his hair as she had done with Nico. Naoki understood she never would. After all, half-bloods were not like mortals. They existed on the delicate balance between godhood and death, and Naoki, mundane and accessible to her, would always be there. Why would she love something already within her grasp?

He stood up. He'd already lost his appetite.

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From time to time, ominous entities—Naoki couldn't figure out if they were human—would emerge at the music store, seeking one person: Micah. Their arrival always carried an air of secrecy and foreboding, leaving an unsettling aura lingering in the air. If his brother had revealed his whereabouts within earshot of him, Naoki freely shared it with the creatures when asked. In cases where he hadn't, Naoki would inform them about the hours he was expected to return. It was just the easiest way to get them to leave him alone. Naoki couldn't understand why they were so fixated on Micah, but he didn't want any trouble for himself or Marutsuke. In the end, Micah is half-god. If something goes wrong, he'll find a way to fix it anyway.

However, every now and then, it would be random children looking for his brother, such as this one: the shortest guy Naoki has ever seen, with weasel-like features and the worst case of attitude issues known to man. Naoki hated these the most.

"My name is Michael Yew," he repeated for the fifth time, as if the not-so-obvious demigod expected Naoki to suddenly recognize him.

Naoki sighed, growing impatient with the rat's persistence. He couldn't fathom why his brother seemed to attract so many extremely off-putting parasites. Nonetheless, he remained polite and replied, "I'm sorry, but I've never heard of you."

"I don't care about you!" The rat squealed in a high-pitched voice, his annoyance evident. "I'm here for Micah, witless wonder. I know he is here!"

"I don't know a Micah, either."

Of course, that's when his brother walked into the music store, interrupting Naoki's sentence. At his thwarted expression, Michael Yew turned around; he visibly brightened up—his skin began to glow, what the fuck—and ran to Hiroki and Percy like a miniature sunbeam.

"Oh, hey!" Percy greeted him, speaking through a mouthful of a corner store sandwich, but the rat didn't reply. Instead, Michael walked up to Micah, standing tall—all 4'6" of him, just reaching midway to Micah's torso—and with hands on his hips, he declared. "Friendship forged in fight, rescue weaves our bonds so tight! Michael's thanks takes flight!"

Hiroki looked bewildered.

"Who is he, again?" He asked Percy.

Michael didn't seem deterred by the question and continued to beam with enthusiasm. He eagerly explained, "Michael Yew, son of Apollo, Head Counselor of Cabin Seven, and your new best friend! As my father would say; two hearts, laughs unite! New friends, joy takes to the skies; BFFs, no goodbyes."

Hiroki nodded slowly, visibly frightened. Infatuated, Percy laughed at his face until he doubled over, lettuce falling off his sandwich like confetti at a parade.

"Well, no." The son of Hypnos said to Michael. "How do you even know me?"

Naoki expected some outlandish reply or another awful haiku that would irritate his brother to no end. But Michael's tone softened, his voice carrying a note of admiration as he looked up at Hiroki with the reverence one reserves for a hero. "You saved my life," he expressed delicately, sincerity filling his eyes. "During the Battle of Manhattan, I was about to die after the collapse of the Williamsburg Bridge. I saw the Fates waiting for me in the water. But then one of your hellhounds leaped into the water after me. I survived. Because of you, I survived. So, I wanted to say thank you, and... to let you know that I'd like to be your friend, if you're willing to have me."

Hiroki fixed his gaze on Michael, attempting to dissect the sincerity behind his words.

It was the same look he used to give his classmates when he was five years old—full of suspicion, as if he believed he had tricked them into being kind to a monster and was now waiting for them to come to their senses and reject him.

"I don't want your gratitude for that," Hiroki dismissed. "When I ordered my hellhounds, I didn't have you in mind. Don't feel the need to thank me. No one should die for the sake of the gods—especially not you, not after Lee Fletcher's death—"

Before he continued to speak, Percy embraced his brother from behind, resting his chin on Hiroki's shoulder. "He would appreciate that, Michael," the son of Poseidon translated, his seagreen eyes shimmering with affection.

"Great!" Michael exclaimed. "Laughing side by side, two pals on a crazy ride; best friends, joy multiplied!"

Naoki gritted his teeth until he smiled.

He went back to tending the cash register; he didn't care anymore.

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The next time Silena came to the shop, she was carrying a box of freshly baked pastries.

Naoki's heart skipped a beat as he watched her place them on the counter. "I made these for you," Silena said with a shy smile. Naoki's dissatisfaction with life vanished, and a warmth he hadn't felt in a long time took its place.

"Have you found what you've been searching for?" he inquired, his tone carrying a hint of flirtation that seemed to go unnoticed by Silena. She giggled and responded, "I'm sure that it's here! I'm just mustering up the courage now."

He bit into the raspberry mille-feuille.

It tasted like love.

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Throughout the night, Riley's eyes had taken on a reddened tint. It matched her favorite chapstick, which she applied obsessively to conceal the grayish hue that had settled on her lips from excessive smoking. "He is just back?" She repeated, voice faded as she exhaled a cloud of smoke. "After how many years? He just... showed up?"

He nodded. Naoki didn't really like Riley nowadays, to be honest, because she smoked so much weed that it was impossible to have a coherent conversation with her. But she was the only friend he still had who remembered Hiroki as a person rather than a missing poster. "He's back," Naoki confirmed, staring at his blunt with a sense of apprehension biting at his bones. "He is a massive asshole, too. Like a 6'4" towering tower of assholery. Oh, and he is gay."

Riley shook her head as she took another drag, the smoke curling around her face like a ghostly veil. "That's insane—I still can't believe he just reappeared after all this time. Do you think he was, like, trafficked or something? How was he just able to come back out of nowhere like that? Man, I love true crime. Your brother should make a YouTube video or something. If he isn't too traumatized, I mean."

Naoki shrugged, his gaze fixed on the burning ember of his blunt.

Riley used to bully Hiroki in primary school; his brother would sob and hold onto Naoki for dear life, seeking comfort and protection. When his brother went missing, he began dating her. He had wanted to understand what had driven her to be so cruel to Hiroki. If she had felt as guilty as Naoki did.

"He looks fine, I guess." He replied, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "His boyfriend is constantly hovering around him, making sure he's okay or whatever. He brought back another kid with him—basically, my mom's new son. They're all fucking weird."

Riley coughed, a dry rasping sound escaping her throat. "I mean, it sounds like they were trafficked, man. No shit, they would be close and weird. I've been—shit, sorry, the coughing is nasty—but I've been taking some psychology classes, and trauma can really mess with people. They probably just bonded in order to cope with what they went through."

In the past, Riley had clarified to him that she didn't target Hiroki for any particular reason. He simply appeared so kind, almost like an angel descended from heaven, that she felt an inexplicable desire to cause him pain. She came from a troubled home, she justified. "I don't know," Naoki replied with a touch of bitterness. "I can't imagine how it could have been so terrible for him when he returned looking like a king with a boyfriend and a new brother."

"That doesn't mean shit, dude!" Riley laughed roughly, her voice breathless; Naoki knew that he probably should advise her to cut back on smoking, but being a good friend wasn't his most pressing priority. Riley shook her head, regaining her breath. She continued. "You have no idea what he had to go through while he was away—what his boyfriend and that kid probably carried him through. The scars run deep, man, and they're not always visible on the surface."

Naoki bit the side of his cheek. "When did you get so wise and empathic?"

"Dude, I don't want to be miserable forever." She smiled prettily with her chipped front tooth and grayish lips. "I'm trying to be a better person, y'know? I want to grow and understand others without being a bitch forever. Plus, like, I will never be the smartest, y'know? Or the hottest, or the funniest, or anything like that, but I can be kind. If anything, I want to be kind. It's cool,"

She took another drag of her blunt; she began coughing harshly again, her eyes watering.

Naoki rolled his eyes. He patted her back carefully and wondered.

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Naoki's first girlfriend was Riley. They barely lasted a year, breaking up the summer before high school began, because he did like her enough, but not truly. They both knew he only got close to her because she knew Hiroki—that Naoki needed outside proof that his brother had been real at all. It didn't work out. They are still friends, though.

After Riley, he dated Aaira from his freshman year to his sophomore year. She liked the same music style as Naoki, and her youngest brother had died back in elementary school. He thought the shared grief would be a strong foundation for their relationship, but as time went on, Naoki realized that it was stupid to base a relationship solely on shared pain. She broke up with him; he hadn't cared, and that made her resent him. They do not speak anymore.

His first heartbreak's name was Liang Meixiu, a girl so sweet that it still ached within him to think about her. They met at the concert program; he played the trombone, and Meixiu played the clarinet, even though she preferred the violin—just like Hisa, just like Hiroki. They dated for three years. He had broken up with her to spare her from all his issues when Hypnos returned with rumors of what had happened to Hiroki, but she remained like a cavity in his heart, a bittersweet reminder of the love he had lost because he couldn't let go of the past. He still has a letter from her, unopened and tucked away in a drawer; soon, he always excused.

While in college, he has dated so many girls that it is hard to keep track. Imani, Leilani, Freya, Ingrid, Sariyahm Celeste, Kira from Marist College, Lila, Emiko, Saoirse, and Anya. Some lasted months; others only lasted a few days.

Deep within his heart, Naoki knows Silena won't be any different than those girls.

It won't be different until Naoki lets go of Hiroki, his jealousy and his resentment, his own imperfections in contrast to his brother's glory. His lack of importance in a world of main characters and legendary heroes and gods. But it is hard—it is so hard.

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Naoki doesn't want to let go of Hiroki.

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He bought a gift for Silena instead.

It was a 1997 Chanel handbag adorned with a stunning floral pattern that immediately brought her to mind. It ate up a controversial amount of the money he was allegedly saving for his car, but at twenty-three, Naoki had neither a permit nor a license. He was never getting a car; let's all be honest. He wasn't getting a car because taking an Uber alone is easier, no matter the price or distance, and he never struggled with tuition payments, either; he bought and bought and filled rooms with guitars he'd never touch, clothes he would only wear once or twice, and useless shit he would've loved to gift a brother that had gone missing, but Hiroki had been a blessing that came with gold to spare but a lifetime of grief, too.

When he presented it to her, the girl cried. It wasn't of joy—it was of guilt.

"I didn't want you to get the wrong idea," she apologized, a hitch to her chest as tears streamed down her face. Naoki looked at her, his heart sinking with disappointment. He had hoped for something more, or something less, or at least something different. It never seemed to come.

He reached out to wipe away Silena's tears, still, hoping to reassure her that everything would be alright, but that seemed to only make her cry harder.

"I'm sorry," she cried, all prettily, like a broken porcelain doll. Her voice trembled as she continued, "I never meant to hurt you, Naoki. I just—you are great, and you are a wonderful person, and you are so handsome, but I'm—I just—it's me, okay? It isn't you."

Then Hiroki entered the music store, at the same time he always did.

At the same time, Silena always left.

God always seemed to make fun of Naoki.

Silena was transfixed, her tearful eyes locking onto him without a word escaping her lips. Yet her silence was punctuated by the clarity of her expression. It conveyed everything Naoki needed to know.

Silena's eyes drank in the sight of Hiroki as if his presence cast aside the looming shadows that once clouded her world—as if he illuminated her skies with an incomparable blend of oranges and purples, setting her ablaze with the first light of a new day. The way her lips fell agape at the sight of him was more than mere adoration; it held a depth of emotion that transcended words, a hushed admission of the forever-lasting impact he held within her universe. To her, Hiroki was more than a person; he was a living, breathing sunrise, painting the canvas of her existence with vibrant strokes of hope and promise in a world that was destined to be gray and dull.

"You're really here," she whispered, and Naoki's heart might as well have shattered.

Silena ran to him, and Hiroki embraced her tightly, whispering words into her ear.

Naoki couldn't hear, but from the way his brother stared at him with enough hatred to murder him in that moment, Naoki knew he had lost Silena forever.

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To be honest, Naoki isn't really cursed. He's simply not significant enough for anyone to bother.

He is disgustingly mundane, from his parentage to his appearance. He has been mediocre his entire life, never standing out or achieving anything noteworthy. It didn't matter if his brother had gone missing from his life or had stayed by his side the entire time—Naoki would always be the lesser of the two, because he simply isn't worth anything. That's the truth Naoki has been denying ever since he learned that Hiroki is half-god.

Hiroki, the brother born destined for greatness.

Hiroki, the brother who possesses extraordinary powers

Hiroki, the most loved demigod to ever be born.

Hiroki, Hiroki, Hiroki.

The sight of white-and-black hair angered him in a way that felt almost biblical, something like Cain and Abel or Jacob and Esau.

So Naoki buried his hand in Hiroki's hair, and he yanked hard enough that his brother gasped at the unexpected pain, his head snapping back in surprise—and he could see Percy rising from the corner of his eye, a sword appearing within seconds, and Hisa's alarmed voice calling out for them to stop—but Hiroki twisted to look at him, his expression indifferent even as his scalp tugged, causing strands of hair to come loose from the force. Golden eyes aflame, he said, "Is this really necessary?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Naoki demanded, his voice brimming with anger and hurt—because every single song Hisa has composed in the past decade has been dedicated to Hiroki, and sure, Hypnos cared for Naoki but enough, never in the way he cared for his real son, and Naoki didn't have his father anymore, or brothers the way Hiroki did with those gods, or a boyfriend who was prepared to murder blindly for him—and Naoki thought that he had found something he could call his own for the first time in his mediocre life, but it turned out to be just another reminder of his own insignificance in the shadow of the sun that is Hiroki.

Of course, Silena was a half-blood. Naturally, she would be best friends with his brother. It just made sense that she would love him, worshiping the very ground Hiroki walked on. Everyone else in his life did.

Naoki had once, too.

His brother, finished entertaining him, simply sighed.

Naoki's grip slackened, his fingers growing numb, and then his knees buckled, causing him to plummet to the ground. Meanwhile, Hiroki took the time to casually fix his hair, unaffected by the situation, leveraging the hushed powers of the son of Hypnos. Slowly, Hiroki walked towards his fallen brother, looming over him. His expression appeared pitiful, but his voice conveyed annoyance as he crouched in front of Naoki and said, "Am I supposed to? Am I expected to ruin Silena's trust in me and tell you anything about her life because you can't read the room well enough to realize she's not interested in you?"

Naoki attempted to speak, but sleep rendered his tongue heavy and unresponsive, making words difficult to form. Hisa's voice rang out sharply, reminiscent of the way that would make Hiroki cry as a child, but now the demigod barely spared her a glance. "Let things go," his brother advised him, and Percy pressed a hand to Hiroki's back, urging him to calm down, please, Micah. "Silena has gone through enough. And you, brother? You could never deserve someone like her."

─────────────────────────

After the death of a friend when he was young, Hiroki struggled with nightmares. Hisa was too cynical to ever be comforting—she would tell Hiroki about the post-mortem changes brought on by putrefaction and a thousand useless facts about drowning, scaring him even more. Hypnos would fill his head with far too many fantasies of immortality and realms that transcended death, stories of the palace that awaited him, a sanctuary where he would be loved until the end of time as the son of a god.

Hisa never considered that Hiroki had seen what putrefaction looked like on the bloated corpse of his friend. Hypnos never mentioned that only Hiroki would be the one to ascend with him.

When his brother would cry and his parents were too incompetent to understand the simple need for a reassuring hug, Naoki used to do just that. He used to embrace his brother tightly, holding on until Hiroki found refuge in the certainty that he was never too heavy for Naoki to carry. He held Hiroki tight enough for him to understand that Naoki would always be strong enough to hold his baby brother—that he would be there forever, beyond the passing of their parents or the fading of gods. That even if all the monsters in the world chase after them, Naoki will hold onto his baby brother until his last breath because their brotherhood is unbreakable.

Hiroki now stares at him as if Naoki is a stranger—a monster he can't decide whether to flee or fight.

He doesn't know where they went wrong.

─────────────────────────

He never saw Silena again.

He could smell her perfume in the apartment now, though; roses and amyris trailing to his brother's bedroom door.

It didn't matter.

─────────────────────────

Naoki slept.

─────────────────────────

Once, his mom left a note on his bedside.

頑張ってます—I'm doing my best.

He crumbled it and closed his eyes again.

─────────────────────────

The next morning, he tried for Hisa.

He pulled himself out of bed, despite the heavy exhaustion pressing down on him. He didn't bother with the skincare routine he usually followed, nor did he take the time to style his hair. It didn't matter anymore. For once, he simply didn't want to shoulder the regret of failing his mom.

Hiroki sat at the breakfast table with a bored expression, uncaring of Hisa's attempts to engage him in conversation. The aroma of cigarettes enveloped him, and everything about him exuded a poignant, almost artistic aura, as if his existence transcended the ordinary bounds of mortality.

It hurt Naoki to witness his mother exert so much effort for someone who didn't even care.

He greeted Hisa in Japanese, his voice rough from days without speaking. His mother almost smiled at the sight of him, yet stress lines etched deep into her face betrayed her true emotions. At that moment, she cared far more about Hiroki than Naoki.

He sat on the chair with a numbness that felt like a broken chord, dissonant and unresolved.

His brother didn't greet him. Naoki wishes that Hiroki was crueler—the villain of his story, someone who would give him a reason to hate. But Hiroki remained indifferent, his apathy like a silent void, swallowing any spark of emotion that dared to surface.

They ate in an uncomfortable silence.

"Nico is sleeping in," Hisa told them, attempting to break the tension. Naoki glanced at Hiroki, hoping to catch a glimpse of any flicker of feeling, but Hiroki's expression remained blank. Hisa continued, "It's good. His pediatricians said that he needs plenty of rest. It's a good thing that Hiroki-kun brought him home before his growth was stunted."

With a sigh, Hiroki moved his breakfast around on his plate, his mind seemingly elsewhere. "My name is Micah," he reminded them.

"No," Hisa corrected him. "Your name is Hiroki. Micah was just a temporary alias."

The son of Hypnos nodded. "Right," he said. "Because you are the one who gave birth to me and dictated my identity, right? Because you will lose your goddamn mind if you don't control everything."

"Don't talk to mom like that, moron." Naoki interjected, his voice laced with irritation. "She's just trying to protect you and make sure you have a normal life. It's not easy for her either, you know."

Hiroki smiled, but his eyes were too wide for it to appear genuine. "Then stop," he said simply. "I'm not asking either of you to take care of me. I'm not giving either of you permission to make decisions for me, either. Stop acting so entitled when I don't know either of you."

Hisa remained composed. "Hiroki, Dr. Nguyen said you—"

"Oh, right," Hiroki interrupted, exasperated. "The all-knowing Dr. Nguyen, who thinks she can fix me with her fancy diagnoses and medication. I don't have borderline personality disorder, or paranoid personality disorder, or any other illness that she's trying to pin on me. I'm just tired—that's it. It isn't—"

"You may feel well now." Hisa tried to be gentle with her explanation. "But it doesn't mean that there isn't an underlying issue that needs to be addressed—"

Hiroki glared daggers at the ceiling, daring it to collapse and bring an end to everything. His knees bounced up and down in a restless rhythm. "You two are my issue, funnily enough," he grinned at them, unable to maintain it for long before his smile faded into a look of disdain. "You," he said to Hisa. "Who won't stop insisting that there's something wrong with me simply because I'm not the goddamn angel you think I should be. And you," he said, turning his gaze towards Naoki, "who can't fucking understand social cues and thinks he is entitled to say whatever he wants without consequence."

"What the fuck are you saying, man?" Naoki retorted, setting down his utensils on the table with a loud clatter. "I haven't spoken to you in days, you psychopath—"

Hiroki's jaw tightened. He clenched his fists, his anger boiling beneath the surface. "Days?" He said. "Oh, how convenient for you to forget all the times you've belittled Percy and Nico. You pretend it's just harmless banter, like your apologies make it all okay. It's not. You can say whatever the fuck you want to me, brother, but don't you dare disrespect—"

Naoki stood up. "What do you know about respect, huh? You're a fucking narcissist banging Silena on the side while pretending to be the perfect boyfriend—"

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Hiroki grinned, standing up with a dazed laugh and a dangerous glint in his golden eyes. "That's what you are telling yourself? That I'm cheating on Percy with her because you can't cope with the fact that she isn't interested in you? Because you can't stomach the fact that I'm better than you in every way? Please, Hisa, I think your son is the one who actually needs to see a psychologist—"

"You don't have to be so annoying, holy shit!" Naoki complained loudly, rolling his eyes. "I get it, man. You're a sleezy fuckin' bastard, dating Percy but still wanting to fuck Silena on the side. Do you! I don't fucking care. I didn't want your leftovers—"

Naoki never saw the punch coming.

A sudden blur of motion, and then his brother's fist collided with his nose. The impact was brutal, a shockwave of pain that ripped through him. Blood surged from his nose, staining his shirt and dripping onto the floor. He staggered backward, desperately grappling with the searing agony. He could've gone insane from the sound of shattering bone and the taste of his own blood in his mouth. His world spun. In the disorienting haze, he clutched his throbbing face.

"Is that all?" Hiroki sneered. "Let me predict the script; tomorrow, you'll play the remorseful act, and Hisa will give me that pathetic look as if my refusal to accept your hollow apology is breaking her heart." Hiroki's voice oozed with contempt as he loomed over him, relishing in the sight of blood. "You know, I almost bought into Silena's delusion that you're not that terrible. But, brother, you're just so... Boring. You're not even worth a fraction of my time, let alone hers."

Naoki fought the urge to choke on the blood pooling in his mouth.

He went to his bedroom, as fast as he could, ignoring Nico di Angelo and the smell of roses that won't seem to fade away.

─────────────────────────

Naoki slept.

─────────────────────────

Time passed; it didn't matter. The scent of roses nauseated him the same way the sight of poppy flowers caused him to recoil. It didn't matter at all; both still found home in Hisa's apartment.

He doesn't. He never will, probably.

─────────────────────────

He doesn't miss Silena.

It wouldn't matter if he did, either way.

─────────────────────────

Can you still call yourself an older brother if you don't have any siblings?

─────────────────────────

His mother doesn't check on him.

There's a trial, she told him on the last day she opened his bedroom door.

Hiroki needs her support right now. Naoki is the oldest; he understands, right? Hiroki needs Hypnos, too. And Percy, and Nico, and Silena, and the entire world, as well, because he is Hiroki, and Naoki is Naoki.

─────────────────────────

私の心が痛いです。

─────────────────────────

His room reeked of roses and amyris.

Naoki did not bother to open his eyes.

─────────────────────────

A garden of yarn flowers grew outside of his bedroom door.

─────────────────────────

He misses his brother. He misses his baby brother, so deeply, like a piece of his heart is missing.

He misses Hiroki. He misses Hiroki. He misses Hiroki.

He misses Hiroki. He misses Hiroki.

He misses Hiroki.

─────────────────────────

Naoki has been second his entire life because of a wish he made when he was three.

There's no one to blame but him, so he went and didn't come back until morning, and he couldn't stop the giggling that escaped his lips as the world spun and all the noise in the world resembled the sound of Silena's laughter, or perhaps a closing orchestra. The smell of weed clung to his clothes; the alcohol in his stomach felt like it could come up at any moment; and when Hiroki appeared, grabbing his arm and his shoulders with a blurred expression, like a flicking mirage in the haze of the night, Naoki couldn't help but admit, "I would've never done that to you!"

Hiroki—his heavenly brother with his ethereal eyes and divine existence and a soulmate to match—looked at Naoki with absolutely nothing in his eyes. "I know," he acknowledged, uncaring, because his baby brother had gone and left him; so Naoki cried, nails digging into Hiroki's forearm as he repeated, "I would've never done that to you!"

"I deserve a goodbye," Naoki said, heartbroken, because his life was like all those ballads of unrequited love, a composition of heartache that played endlessly in the background as others walked away. "If you were going to leave, that's okay. I get that you were born to be—to be some great hero, but Hiroki, I deserved a goodbye."

His brother ignored him, continuing to stare blankly ahead, as if Naoki's words held no weight or meaning. He gripped the back of his jacket loosely, like he did not want to touch him at all, and it hurt. It hurt so badly; it hurt like nothing he had ever felt before.

Naoki threw up on the sidewalk.

Bile burned his throat, and Hiroki sighed, inconvenienced by the whole situation. Naoki wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to quiet the need to just die—to die violently—to brutalize his body in a way so gruesome that it would be enough to make it to the local news and trend on Reddit for the afternoon—but tears blurred his vision as he tried to regain his composure—and the world spun far too fast for Naoki to ever dream of catching up to it, and when he fell unconscious to the ground, the sight of Hiroki's indifferent expression was the last thing he saw.

─────────────────────────

He had a strange dream.

It must have been one of those rare days when Hisa allowed him to stay home due to sickness. His throat was scratchy, and his head throbbed with every movement. As he lay in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, he heard the bedroom door open quietly and the sound of light footsteps approaching. Summoning the strength to pry his eyes open, Naoki was met with the sight of his younger brother, concern evident in the warm brown depths of his gaze.

"Why are you here?" Naoki asked, his tone heavy with misery.

His brother looked at him curiously, tilting his head to the side. "I heard you were sick, Onii-chan." He replied softly. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You don't have to act, asshole." Naoki told him. "I never got to see you at this age."

And Hiroki grinned like a Cheshire cat, exuding childish innocence from his face. The plumpness of his cheeks seemed more out of place to Naoki than the dark hue of his eyes; gold suited the son of Hypnos better. Still, he couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia as he realized how much he had missed his brother's youthful appearance. "Well, maybe it's a dream come true then," Hiroki replied, his appearance shifting just barely, as if he couldn't quite figure out what he was supposed to look like now.

Naoki's body ached.

"Don't be mean," he begged tiredly. "Right now, with that face... Please don't be mean."

His brother watched him intently, trying to discern the hidden meaning behind Naoki's words. But there's none; Naoki is tired. Hiroki responded quietly, "But you're mean to me too," his voice barely above a whisper as he fidgeted with his thumbs, avoiding eye contact.

He looked away. "I don't mean to be," Naoki admitted.

"I kind of hate you," Hiroki told him. "You stare at me the same way the campers did. It's like you're disgusted by me. I didn't mean to be this way. I didn't want to be me. I'm trying."

"It's not that," Naoki denied. "I just... wish you had come back home for me, at least."

"And done what?" Hiroki asked with desperation, unable to understand why. "Camp Half-Blood isn't like your summer camp. We are trying to survive. You were home safe. Why would you want to follow me to a place like that?"

Naoki knows he is a failure. He doesn't need his mother's glare to remind him. He is a bit too loud, a bit too dramatic, a bit too much of a moron, and somehow not enough at the same time. He has had more girlfriends than friends, and all of his friends are his exes. He isn't gifted at anything the way his mother and brother are, but Naoki is alright with that. He is fine with being the idiot holding back others from greatness—a total pity case—if it meant not being alone again.

"I would've just liked being with you," Naoki told his baby brother. "Doing anything at all. Anything. But you never seemed to feel the same way."

Hiroki seemed to bite his tongue. "For a demigod, there's bigger things in the world—"

"You never had to," Naoki told him. "Unlike the others, you were safe. You had Hypnos changing your diapers since the day you were born. You had everything. You chose to go—"

"Well, it's not like I didn't want to come back." Hiroki's voice cracked. His eyes widened, as if he had revealed some terrible truth. Naoki sat up to reach for him, but his brother waved his hand, and the dream was over.

─────────────────────────

Naoki had attended that party with the expectation of becoming one of those morons who choked to death after overdosing, drowning in their own vomit in a haze of drugs and alcohol. When he woke up in his bed, his heated blanket dialed up to the highest setting, and a muted episode of Naruto playing on the TV, Naoki thought he had accomplished just that. But Percy sniffled a bit in his sleep, and Nico mumbled in Italian, and when he sat up in his bed, Hiroki completely ignored him entirely.

He took a shower. Dressing ached, but Naoki pushed through the soreness. When he returned to his room, everything remained the same: Percy and Nico were still sleeping on his floor. Hiroki was still pretending to be watching television. He was still alive.

"How did you know where I was?" Naoki asked.

Hiroki glanced at him. "You're my brother," he answered. "I will always find you."

And that is how Hiroki made everyone love him, Naoki thought. Speaking so plainly yet with undeniable certainty. Looking him in the eyes as if he could see the thread that bound them together, stretching far across the universe but always tied to each other.

Naoki's eyes burned.

How unfair it is to love someone like his younger brother.

"Sometimes I wish you never came back at all," Naoki told him.

Hiroki smiled at him; Me too, his eyes seemed to say.

─────────────────────────

Naoki stopped hugging his mother at some point.

Hisa didn't seem to notice at all. She was distracted, pulled in different directions that never seemed to converge. There's paperwork from Hades that demands her attention; Nico had to be enrolled in school before the new academic year started, and the national missing persons databases must be updated now that Hirok is home again. There's medical evaluations, and legal proceedings, and minor gods appearing out of thin air, all vying for Hiroki's attention because the world seemed to be falling apart beyond the music shop's doors. Hypnos returned—the god is hiding something, but he is back, beaming the widest smile Naoki has ever seen in spite of the lines of uncertainty visible beneath his eyes.

The Matsuoka family is complete with Hypnos, even if the god has not given him a single glance; even if he stopped hugging his mother. Even if she seemed happier that way. It's fine.

Naoki has never been the focus of his parents' attention, so he can't say he was missing anything. He feels like his brain is rotting, though, and Hisa doesn't care. Hypnos doesn't care, either, and his brother is barely human. Riley is trying to be a better person, so she isn't around, and he doesn't have more friends, but the Matsuoka family is perfect, finally. It's good.

Naoki can feel his life losing momentum.

─────────────────────────

Naoki slept.

Nobody checked on him as January passed.

─────────────────────────

He doesn't remember February.

─────────────────────────

By March, he counted the days passed by the yarn flowers left at his door by Silena.

She has left him enough to fill a greenhouse, or maybe a funeral parlor. Blue hyacinths, white roses, lilac irises, and pink peonies—asking for forgiveness between petals of remorse and artificial stems. She doesn't need to; Silena never did anything wrong. Naoki is the stupid one.

─────────────────────────

He feels like he'll die soon.

He doesn't mention it over breakfast.

His mom looks sad for some reason.

Naoki doesn't want it to make it worse.

─────────────────────────

家族に会いたい。

─────────────────────────

He collided with Silena.

The daughter of Aphrodite appeared stunning as ever, yet her eyes shifted color. Her hair seemed to change hues. They flickered, as if unsure of what style to settle on. As if Silena didn't know what face to wear for him anymore.

He doesn't like half-bloods.

He ignored her.

─────────────────────────

It would've been easier if Hiroki had died.

Naoki tried not to vomit at the thought.

─────────────────────────

His college sent him an email; he isn't graduating.

─────────────────────────

When March arrived and Naoki had grown tired of his own misery, his brother knocked on his door, as if he knew, too.

He didn't enter, but Naoki heard his voice through the closed door all the same.

"My trial is in two days. I would like it if you could be there, brother."

─────────────────────────

Riley sent him a message.
Quit smoking :/ wasn't worth it
I stopped by your house to tell you but ur lil bro said you're not feeling well
the short one nico? i haven't seen hiroki yet.
can i come back?
i wanna apologize to him
OH!! I found our old CDs from middle school!
Want to hang out soon? We can listen to them
Maybe it'll help
I miss you
Idiot.

Naoki replied.
I miss you too

She called him immediately.
It felt good.

─────────────────────────

Next morning, Naoki apologized to Nico di Angelo with more shame than regret.

The boy fixed him with beady eyes, his expression impossible to understand or interpret.

There was an uncanny quality about half-bloods—Nico's eyes seemed too inexpressive and inhuman, akin to buttons on a doll's face. In contrast, Hiroki's eyes resembled those of a nocturnal animal, sharp and alert with minuscule pupils, unblinkingly scanning for signs of danger or deceit. Percy exuded the aura of a god, as if he held the power of the sea in his very presence. His confidence and strength were palpable, underscoring why he was regarded as a hero among heroes. They weren't human, and Naoki couldn't believe how easily they could fool the rest of the world into thinking they were.

Being in their presence was almost unbearable.

Nico breathed out, his shoulders lifting in a manner so familiar to Naoki that it stung. Even as a child, Hiroki always sighed in a similar way, as if carrying the weight of the sky on his back. "You're doing it again," the son of Hades pointed out. "You're smiling, even though you look unhappy."

Naoki faltered. "I'm not unhappy. I'm just... Tired."

"I guess. But we don't have to be friends, you know." Nico told him. "I don't care about what you think about me or say to me, but I don't want to be a parasite in your family. That's what made me cry that day. I don't want to ruin anything. I'm grateful Hisa took me in—"

"If she hadn't, Hiroki would've left," Naoki interjected. Recognizing the aggression in his tone, he groaned and sat down on the couch with Nico, covering his face with a throw pillow. "Sorry, I'm just..."

Nico stared at him with a rigid expression.

"I don't get why you hate us." He admitted.

Naoki hugged the cushion tightly. He wanted to say so much that he couldn't find the right words. He liked music because of that—because every single human emotion has been captured in a melody and every sentiment in another man's lyrics. He didn't need to be articulate or eloquent with his own words; but Nico kept looking, passively waiting for a response. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts before finally speaking up.

"I had a brother once, and then I didn't." He said it timidly, afraid of admitting it outloud. "It isn't that I want to be a demigod or anything like that. God knows I wouldn't survive long... I just wish Hiroki had been born a mortal like me, I guess. It would've been easier."

Of course, Naoki had thought about it before: a life where Hiroki was human and monsters didn't exist. His brother was naturally good at everything. Would that still be the same if he were mortal? Would he still be taller, more muscular? Would his skin still be flawless, like polished porcelain? Would he be able to master the instruments that Naoki struggled with? Memorize all the novels and poems that Naoki found impossible?

Would he still be Hisa's favorite?

Nico had a habit of pressing his tongue against the thin skin of his cheek, a tick that appeared whenever he was deep in thought. It was fully his own; Naoki was always uncertain about how to handle the strain of knowing small details like this.

"I had a sister once," the son of Hades confided. "Then I didn't. She left me at Camp Half-Blood the second we learned about our parentage. Joined the Hunters of Artemis, and she... died. She was like—like this perfect masterpiece of a painting, right? Everyone loved Bianca. And I'm just this messed-up scribble compared to her. My dad still loves her more than me, reincarnated and all. I think that is just how life is. Mortal or half-blood, I think parents will always prefer one child more than the other. Even if they don't admit it."

"I just don't understand why I can't be enough," Naoki said absently, without meaning to, thoughtlessly vulnerable as his mind wandered to the countless times he had compared himself to Hiroki; inadequate and overshadowed.

"You are," Nico told him, a child and more mature than Naoki could ever hope to become. "I know I am... but Bianca was different. It's not about being enough; it's about being different. Bianca was different, and Micah is different. We can't compete."

Naoki groaned and slouched into the couch until he found himself staring at the ceiling.

"You stole my brother from me," he accused half-heartedly. He was well aware that Hiroki wouldn't care about him, even if Nico had never entered their lives. It was evident in Hiroki's lack of interest and indifference towards him, showcased by the casual manner in which he had discarded the necklace Naoki had given him without a hint of remorse.

Nico drew his knees to his chest as he listened to Naoki's words, the curls of his hair falling into his face until his eyes were obscured. "He was the first person in this century to care about me," Nico whispered, his voice soft like the echoes of a memory. "When Bianca left to join the quest, he stayed with me, even when Percy yelled at him until they argued. He didn't abandon me like everyone else. He stayed even when I annoyed him or pushed him away."

"You're making me feel so much better," Naoki told him drily.

Nico smiled, crookedly and with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I didn't steal your brother. Micah is the type of person to love forever—you just have to remind him."

Naoki scoffed. "Right," he said sarcastically. "Because it's so easy to just 'remind' someone to love you forever. Love doesn't work like that, Nico."

Nico's smile faded slightly as he looked down at the ring on his hand. "I know it's not that simple," he admitted quietly. "But sometimes, all we can do is hope."

─────────────────────────

It didn't take long to find Hiroki.

His baby brother spends his days seated on the fire escape, gazing out at the city skyline, lost in his own thoughts. When Naoki began sitting beside him, Hiroki didn't speak.

"We could do it, you know." Naoki told him the evening before his trial. The son of Hypnos turned to Naoki, and he appeared so tired. So broken. "We could be brothers if you just told me here. Not in a dream, or an illusion, or some imaginary world. Right here, right now."

But Hiroki breathed out like it hurt, unable to meet his gaze. "It's not worth it," he said. "You've made up your mind already, and I'm tired. It'll be the same thing each quest. You'll never change your mind about who I was supposed to be, and I'll never be able to live up to your expectations. It's better for both of us if we just accept that and move on."

Naoki wanted to disagree, but that awful word rang in his ears. "You're going on more quests?" He asked, desperation creeping into his voice, and his brother smiled at him like Naoki had just proved his point.

"Do you... do you really have to?" He asked, just like a child.

His brother nodded. "There's greater things in the—"

"Right," Naoki murmured, a knot forming in his throat. "Right."

It wasn't anger he felt—it was more like grief blanketed in resignation.

He had forgotten that heroes do not stop being heroes until they die.

Hiroki's foot nudged his gently. "But," he murmured, his voice resolute yet tender. "I'll say goodbye properly this time. I promise."

─────────────────────────

Naoki doesn't like the concept of hope.

It felt commercial, like a product being sold to people who were desperate for something to hold onto—a false sense of security that only led to disappointment in the end. He sees it as a creation designed solely to manipulate and exploit the vulnerable. It was pointless, causing more pain than any fleeting comfort it might offer. But he was raised by Hypnos, even if they do not share any blood. The spirit of hope is part of his family, even if Naoki isn't half-god or worth a damn.

He walked out of his room with a tremble in his hands.

The moment Naoki stepped out, his mother pounced on him. "No, no!" Hisa exclaimed, swiftly readjusting the tie around his neck and smoothing out the creases in his shirt. "You can't go out looking like that," she insisted, cupping his cheek to make him meet her gaze. Her fingers expertly ran through his hair, taming any stray strands and ensuring a polished look. "There, much better," she declared with satisfaction.

Naoki smiled. His mom looked stunning. "Thank you," he said.

Hisa's hand on his cheek lingered, and there was a hint of sadness in her expression as she spoke, "いつも笑顔でいてくれてありがとう."

Naoki nodded, words trapped in his throat.

"Of course," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

In the living room, Hypnos assisted the son of Hades with his ceremonial toga, delicately draping the obsidian fabric over thin shoulders. Percy, dressed in Greek clothing as well, looked confused as he pinned the bone-like wreath on Nico's head, but Hiroki stepped in to guide him. "Just like this," Hiroki said, carefully adjusting the placement amidst the black strands. Under all of their attention, Nico was beaming, his eyes sparkling; he has never looked more regal, but so much like a child, too.

His brother's eyes locked with his.

Hiroki nodded.

Naoki grinned like an idiot, but—well, hope is a powerful thing.

"Are we ready?" Hisa inquired, her voice firm, her eyes scanning the room for any last-minute preparations. She stood tall, as if they were heading into battle rather than a court summons. Hypnos placed a hand on Hiroki's shoulder, the god standing like a mirrored reflection beside his son. "Don't be nervous," he told them. "Right, little prince? There's no reason to be nervous! Right?"

Hiroki's lips curled as his gaze dipped towards the ground. He glanced up slyly through his lowered lashes. "It won't drag on as much as Zeus's trial did," he remarked.

Hypnos laughed nervously. "In a good way, of course! Of course?"

Hiroki did not respond, but his smile widened slightly.

─────────────────────────

He has been to the Underworld. He has met Nyx, Protogenos of the Night, and played catch with hellhounds that rivaled the size of elephants. Having lived with Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo, he isn't exactly afraid of what awaited him in the Court of Themis. He isn't afraid of anything god-related.

But the sight of Silena, with her blonde hair delicately curled and cascading over her shoulders, brought Naoki to a pause. Her elegantly long off-shoulder dress, embellished with matching pink faux fur, stole his breath away. Her makeup shimmered, accentuating her captivating brown eyes, and her lips glistened with a soft shade of pink. She looked like a model straight out of a high-fashion magazine, like someone who would've made Regina George die of envy and earned a spot as Elle Woods' new best friend.

His hands turned clammy.

The daughter of Aphrodite laughed as she left a lipstick stain on Hiroki's cheek, pressing a matching print of Percy's when it refused to come off. She gave a warm embrace to Hisa and bowed to Hypnos with the kind of reverence one would only afford a god they genuinely believed in. When Silena turned towards Naoki, a hint of insecurity lingered in her demeanor. Delicately, she reached into her purse, retrieving a small, perfectly wrapped gift.

She offered it to him shyly, her uncertainty palpable in the gesture.

Naoki's heart skipped a beat as he accepted it.

"You didn't need to—"

"I wanted to—"

"But—"

"I know—"

They stared at each other helplessly.

"Sorry, you go—"

"Sorry, you go—"

Hypnos laughed like a soft melody.

"Ah, to be young," he mused with a twinkle in his golden eyes. He placed a hand on each of their shoulders, guiding them closer together. "Sometimes, the heart knows what it wants before the mind can catch up."

Silena seemed so sad, though, so Naoki smiled and laughed. "Let's not overthink it," he said, slipping the box into his pocket. "Shouldn't we get inside? I think one of Hiroki's weird uncles is staring at us, and it's making me feel kind of scared. Oh, no offense, Lord Hypnos."

The god of sleep emitted a wounded sound, clutching his chest dramatically. "Lord Hypnos?" he exclaimed incredulously. "I helped raise you, young man! What happened to calling me dad?"

Naoki swallowed hard. "Oh," he said, and somehow, breathing felt so much easier today than it did yesterday. "Sorry, dad. I just..."

A hand rested on his head. The weight of hope is comforting, Naoki thought.

"Let's get inside, son," Hypnos told him.

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Hiroki didn't seem afraid, or nervous, or anything remotely close before he separated from them. He rested a lingering kiss on Percy's lips. To Nico, he ruffled his hair, tapping his knuckle against the child's temple with a gentle smile. Silena wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her face in his chest. She whispered, "Please don't leave me alone again."

Hiroki didn't reply, but he allowed Hisa to fix his hair with gentle fingers. "I'll be on your side," she reassured him. "Whether you are right or wrong, Hiroki-kun. 優しい心を持っているね."

He nodded. He didn't seem to care about her words, but he hesitated before leaving.

"Don't look away," Hiroki told Naoki and Hisa. "No matter what, do not look away."

They watched him walk away; Naoki felt a lump form in his throat.

Hisa took a hold of his hand and squeezed it, silently conveying her own fear and worry.

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It isn't January anymore.

Naoki doesn't know why he feels like he might die again.

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In the courtroom, Percy struggled to appear calm without Hiroki by his side; his attempts to hide his nervousness were pointless as he took his seat on the pews, his fingers bitten to the point of drawing blood. He fidgeted in the time it took for the court to settle, tugging at the fabric of his tunic and constantly readjusting himself, untying and re-tying his worn-out sneakers.

"It'll be okay," Hypnos reassured him, though Percy didn't seem to believe him. Still, the teenager leaned his head against the god's shoulder, a yawn slipping from his mouth. "It'll be okay," Hypnos muttered again, brushing Percy's hair out of his face. "Believe in him."

"I do," the son of Poseidon replied. "I don't trust them."

To be honest, Naoki didn't know much about the trials.

Nico had explained that all the gods and goddesses of the Pantheon were being summoned to the Court of Themis to properly settle disputes and wrongdoings that had gone overlooked for millennia. There was a major shift in power happening as they transitioned from a supreme monarch to a more democratic system where minor deities had a voice and say in the decisions. Making an effort to alleviate corruption through minor changes was pointless, Nico claimed; Olympus required a complete restructuring to genuinely address the deep-rooted issues within the Pantheon, and simply giving out thrones meant nothing if it held no authority, and blah blah blah. It hurt Naoki's head to think about it, so he didn't.

He just couldn't comprehend why his baby brother was summoned for a trial when he wasn't a god.

Not even Percy, who was apparently a big-shot demigod, had been summoned for a trial. But when he asked, Nico and Percy exchanged a weird glance before avoiding the topic altogether. Hypnos would smile and nod knowingly whenever Naoki brought up the subject, but he never offered any explanation either.

"Father, oh, father!" An obnoxious voice called out then.

Naoki looked up to see three men approaching them, led by a figure with pure white hair and the coldest blue eyes he had ever seen. They were dressed in elaborate robes and wore crowns of gold on their heads, exuding an air of arrogance and entitlement that left no doubt about their divinity. Naoki's heart sank; he didn't recognize them, but they all resembled the same person.

As a child, Morpheus, Phobetor, and Phantasos were names Hiroki used to call with adoration. Whenever he scraped his knee and cried, he would wail for his divine brothers, staring at the sky until a gentle wind would cleanse away the blood and lift him to his feet again. If Naoki refused to play with him, his brother would roll his eyes and claim he could never be as entertaining as his divine brothers anyway. It was always them, never anyone else. Never Naoki, or a mortal.

Naoki has seen Nyx, but he has never met Hiroki's brothers before.

Shame tinged his cheeks with a burning sensation.

"My boys!" Hypnos beamed, sounding as if he were vibrating with the desire to hug his children. "Hisa, Naoki, look! My boys are all here!"

None of them bothered to look at Naoki. Wordlessly, Silena reached for his hand. She didn't intertwine their fingers together or anything like that, but she held it gently, offering him silent support.

"It is nice to see you all again," Hisa greeted cordially. The one with amethyst-colored eyes took hold of her hand, placing a graceful kiss on her knuckles, unfazed as his clothing slipped off his shoulder. The most muscular of the three remained silent, resembling a stoic mountain, his gaze as unyielding as ancient stone.

"Yes, yes," the white-haired god said dismissively. Turning to Hypnos, he spoke with pride, "Father, we've reached a memorandum of understanding. Do not fret. The stars shall continue to shine brightly forevermore. Am I not the greatest brother, Father?"

"Oh, certainly! The Fates bestowed upon me the gift of you as my firstborn for a reason, Morpheus!" Hypnos exclaimed indulgently, a smile gracing his face as he gazed at his children, his heart overflowing with love. Morpheus turned his nose arrogantly, satisfaction radiating from his every pore.

He waved his hand in the air. "Family and the House of Midnight stand above all else. I am merely fulfilling my filial duty," Morpheus declared, his voice dripping with feigned humility. "Well, Father, and... others, we shall find our seats. The hearing will begin shortly. How exciting! I haven't witnessed our dearest Micah in action for quite some time," the god added, his eyes glinting. "I do hope he hasn't lost his touch."

"What did he mean by that?" Naoki asked as the three gods walked away, a feeling of wrongness settling in his gut. Silena bit her lip nervously. "Naoki," she asked gently. "Do you really not know about Micah?"

Naoki furrowed his brow. "Well, first of all, I know his name is Hiroki—"

The massive doors leading to the ground floor of the court swung open.

A hush fell over the room as a woman emerged, commanding attention with her presence. Draped in a regal gown, embellished with intricate embroidery that shimmered under the grand chandeliers of the court, she made her way towards the elevated platform where the two golden scales were placed. Naoki's eyes widened in recognition; he knew this, at least.

Themis, with a sword by her side and a face clear of emotion, bowed to the scales of justice.

"Let justice prevail," she declared, her tone unwavering and resolute. "And may truth guide our path towards the birth of a new Olympus."

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Naoki doesn't remember how he got home. He doesn't remember how the trail ended, either.

Only that Hiroki never returned. Only that Hiroki died. He only remembered that his baby brother went missing in 1999, and not even a god couldn't find him. Hikori Matsuoka has to be dead, because Hiroki was good. He was so good, and kind, and polite—and he would've never hurt another, much less whatever crimes the monster that wore his skin committed.

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Seated on the judge's bench, the goddess began the meticulous organization of files and evidence arranged before her. With deliberate focus, she scrutinized each document, carefully weighing testimonies and assessing facts. With a swift nod, the Fates tied the blindfold around her eyes.

"The court is officially convened. Case number two hundred and seventeen is now before us, as the accused is summoned to account for his transgressions against the realms," announced Themis. Her commanding voice echoed through the grand hall as she continued, "Present before the scales of justice is Micah, the child of Hypnos, descendant of Nyx and Erebus, ambassador of Olympus, and delegate of the divine council. The proceedings have commenced, and the court is now in session."

Hiroki was born with wings sprouting from his back; as a child, Naoki remembered, his baby brother struggled to walk, his equilibrium constantly thrown off balance. Hisa would straighten his back and correct his posture to help him maintain stability. She reminded him to spread his wings wide, using them as counterbalances, allowing him to move with grace and control. He didn't have wings anymore, but even without them, his brother held his head high. His shoulders were broad, unmoveable, his strides long and deliberate as he made his way towards the stand with a carelessness that bordered on arrogance.

"Lady Justice," he acknowledged with a deep bow, a hand placed over his heart. "It is a privilege to stand before you today."

Naoki hoped Silena wouldn't find it repulsive how sweaty his palms had become.

"Speak your name, ambassador." Themis commanded.

A subtle trace of a smirk played at the corners of his lips. "Hiroki Matsuoka," came the reply.

Above him, the scales began to shift and tilt.

"Hiroki Matsuoka," intoned Themis. "Are you prepared to confront the scales of justice and accept their verdict?"

"I am," the son of Hypnos answered with a steady voice.

"Very well," Themis replied. "Let us commence with the charges at hand. Based on the evidence before me, you are accused of a litany of offenses, including assault, assault and battery, attempted usurpation, assassination, blackmail, conspiracy, corruption, espionage, extortion, homicide, psychological abuse, reckless endangerment, torture, and treason."

Well—well, no.

That's a bit...

"Is this some kind of joke?" Naoki blurted out, unable to hide his shock.

In an unwavering tone, Themis continued, "You are accused of seventeen counts of murder: six children of Zeus, three children of Poseidon, seven children of Ares, and one child of Hermes. In addition, you are charged with the unlawful killing of four mortals. Moreover, you face allegations of inciting war and jeopardizing the safety of children through seditious acts. Hiroki Matsuoka, do you declare yourself guilty or not guilty in response to these charges?"

"I plead guilty."

A deafening silence seized the room as Micah's confession hung in the air.

Lord Hypnos sounded on the verge of fainting. "Oh, dear," the god said.

Silena muttered desperately, "No, Micah, no."

But it was Percy who spoke the loudest. He erupted from his seat like a furious tempest, his face contorting as his eyes flashed like lightning in the open sea. "It was never his fault!" He shouted at Themis. "He was forced! He was forced by Zeus and Nyx!" His voice reverberated off the walls of the courtroom. Deities turned to look at the commotion, unknown faces blurring into a chorus of concerned murmurs.

Nico—despite the trembling of his hands—grabbed the back of Percy's shirt and pulled him back, his voice filled with urgency as he whispered, "Percy, calm down! Sit! Trust Micah, alright?"

"He's practically begging for a one-way ticket to the afterlife!" Percy argued. Naoki didn't feel—real. He didn't feel real as the son of Poseidon shouted. "He's not well enough to be doing this! Lord Hypnos, don't you see what he is trying to do?"

Micah, standing motionless at the center of it all, turned to gaze upon them.

His brother didn't look at Percy, or Hypnos, or any of his divine brothers.

He locked eyes with Naoki.

Giuseppe Verd's Dies Irae. Dmitri Shostakovich's String Quartet No. 8 in C minor. L'inverno—none were enough. No arrangement of notes had ever reached the crescendo required to encapsulate the gripping intensity of the penetrating gaze that ensnared him. It was beyond human; Micah's eyes were akin to twin suns swallowed by a void of utter nothingness. His face held no emotion, as if he were a mere vessel for some unknown force.

It wasn't Hiroki.

That could never, ever be Hiroki.

"My sincerest apologies for the disturbance, Lady Justice!" The god of sleep chimed in with cheer, his resonant voice weaving through the chamber like a whimsical melody. "Please, continue with your proceedings!"

Percy's expression was one of betrayal—of pure heartbreak as he stared at the god.

Micah turned away, as if nothing had happened.

Themis' thoughts remained hidden behind the blindfold veiling her eyes, undisturbed by the abrupt interruption. "Very well," she said; the scales continued to tip, undecided. "Do you have any objections or additional statements to make in response to these charges?"

"No, Divine Counselor." Micah declined. "I accept full responsibility for my actions and the consequences they have brought upon me. I am prepared to face the judgment of this court and whatever punishment it deems fit."

"Even if you were not of sound mind?" Themis inquired: The scales teetered momentarily, as if contemplating, before settling back into a state of equilibrium. "Coercion and duress hold the weight to absolve one's accountability."

Micah responded with tranquil assurance, "My mind was lucid, and my actions were intentional. External influences had no sway over my decisions."

The scale lurched forcefully.

"Lie." Themis ruled. "How old were you when the title of ambassador of Olympus was bestowed upon you?"

Micah answered. "I have no memory of the exact age, Divine Counselor, but I was no older than twelve years old. It was a great honor to be chosen for such a prestigious role."

Naoki had never felt so stupid in his entire life. He should—he should know what these titles mean and what Hiroki—Micah—went through the same way Silena and Percy and Nico did, because they all seemed to ache at the answer, like it was the most awful thing they had ever heard.

"Why is there no recollection of such a crucial moment in your life?" Themis inquired, her tone suggesting she already held the answer, and Naoki hated her. He hated Hypnos and Hisa. Every god in the world, every god who has ever existed.

"When I was a child," that thing that wore his brother's face said, "my grandmother, Nyx, bathed me in the waters of the river Lethe." It paused, and Naoki wished it would never speak again. "I have no memories of my past as Hiroki Matsuoka other than those that come to me in my dreams."

The reality hit Naoki hard; he could no longer pretend his brother was alive.

Uncaring of his breaking heart, Themis continued. "And why did Nyx choose to bathe you in the waters of Lethe?"

The son of Hypnos answered with pride. "It is the duty of the son to bring honor and respect to his family. My grandmother believed I could not do so if burdened by the weight of my mortal life. She said the waters of Lethe would cleanse me of any lingering attachments and allow me to start anew."

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It would've been easier if Hiroki had died.

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The scales shifted.

Hisa remained tearless. She rarely ever wept, much less on days when she used eyeliner.

Naoki isn't like his mother, though. Tears rendered him blind, but he kept watching the trial. His brother told him to not look away, no matter what. Now, he understood why the son of Hypnos had asked him to attend the trial—it marked the conclusion of Hiroki's life.

"How well-acquainted were you with your divine family before the separation from your mortal mother, particularly Nyx?" Themis scrutinized. She knew the answers—Micah was aware of it too, evident in the way he smiled, his irritation betraying itself through clenched fists and a set of teeth on display.

"My father visited me every day, Divine Counselor. We lived together," Micah answered. "My brothers, through dreams; on occasion, my uncles and aunts would appear to guide me as well. As for my grandmother, I never had the privilege of meeting her until she rescued me from a monster attack at Camp Half-Blood."

"Age?"

"Eight-years-old, Divine Counselor."

"After the attack, were you allowed to contact your parents?"

"I was," Micah responded, his voice soft. "I came back home at the end of winter. Grandmother advised me not to inform my father to spare him any worry. She said my mother wouldn't comprehend what had happened as a mortal, so it was better to keep it from her unless I wanted to cause her distress. I trusted her judgment and followed her guidance."

"Then Nyx began to visit you." Themis divulged. "Yes," Micah confirmed. "Grandmother would appear to me in my dreams, guiding me and offering comfort. She told me that I was born for a special purpose: to save our family from fading and return the House of Midnight to its former glory. She claimed that I was born to be a god, but I would never be able to become one as long as I lived under my mother's mortal restrictions."

The scales were askew, refusing to align.

Hisa did not seem to breathe.

"And so," Themis conjectured. "She instructed you to depart with your family and join her in the realm of the gods."

Wordless, Micah nodded.

"Ambassador of Olympus, representative of the divine council," Themis addressed. "You are not naive, nor are you characterized by mental numbness. It would be futile to categorize you as such. Under legal scrutiny, though the actions undertaken by your grandmother deviate from the conventional notion of a stranger physically abducting a child, there exist circumstances in which the encouragement or facilitation of a child departing from their parents is still regarded as the unjustifiable abduction of a minor, regardless of familial ties. Do you agree with this assessment?"

"I do not."

The scale dropped.

"Lie," decreed Themis. "An eight-year-old child, regardless of divine heritage, lacks the requisite understanding and experience to fully comprehend the implications of their circumstances. You were incapable of making informed decisions or advocating for your own well-being. Consequently, your grandmother's actions constitute a clear violation of your rights as a minor. Your disagreement with this assessment may be rooted in emotional attachment or a lack of comprehension of the gravity of the situation. Nevertheless, it does not alter the fact that your grandmother's actions were unjustifiable and illegal. Hiroki Matsuoka, you were kidnapped."

Micah smiled helplessly. "How unfortunate,"

Themis, undeterred by his nonchalant response, continued, "I acknowledge that this news may be challenging to process; however, we must proceed with the requisite legal proceedings. Let us revert to the subject of your position as ambassador to Olympus and the duties associated with it, which constitute the primary source of the charges leveled against you."

"I met Ares in the forest of Camp Half-Blood upon my return from Tartarus, once my grandmother deemed me ready with the name of Micah," the son of Hypnos explained, the urgency in his tone betraying his reluctance to delve into the topic. "We fought, and I managed to impress him, so he would come to pester me when bored. When she learned of it, Grandmother emphasized the significance of forging alliances with Olympus' gods, a means to acquire information and power detached from the House of Midnight—so when Ares extended an invitation to join his personal court, I took it as my way to reach Mount Olympus. Through Ares, I crossed paths with Aphrodite, securing her favor. With her backing, I was able to gain the attention of other gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus, establishing ties until my presence became undeniable to Zeus. Subsequently, I was granted the title of ambassador."

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"And what could a thirteen-year-old child possibly offer to the gods of Olympus?" Themis demanded.

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Hiroki used to rely on Naoki. He had been a crybaby, constantly seeking comfort and protection. He feared lizards and frogs. Hisa's scolding would make him wail underneath the table each time, and the sight of Riley would drive him into a panic attack. Naoki had been there each time, though. When lightning terrified him and his baby brother would seek refuge in Naoki's bedroom, he had been there.

He is an older brother. He was an older brother.

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"I am a child of Hypnos, Divine Counselor. I was born with Nyx's eyes and blessed by Erebos with the ability to travel through shadows. Hellhounds and various creatures of the underworld obey my commands," Micah smirked. "While I lack physical strength, do not mistake it for weakness. Nonetheless, my title is accurate. I was the ambassador; I served as a mediator and advisor to the Olympians, assisting in diplomatic negotiations and providing counsel on matters between the twelve and the rest of the Pantheon. If needed, I can retrieve information from the depths of Tartarus itself. My knowledge and connections make me a valuable asset in the realm of Olympus, even as a child."

Themis allowed a moment of silence before asking.

"When were you ordered to commit your first murder, Hiroki Matsuoka?"

Micah's gaze fixated on the ground beneath him, a subtle smile playing on his lips. He exuded a sense of unease, and his attempt to conceal his emotions proved futile. A pause hung in the air before he mustered the courage to break it, his words emerging with a hesitant grace. "Before the claiming of Poseidon's son, Divine Counselor." He answered. "Zeus did not want to claim his children out of fear of his brothers once they discovered that he had broken the sacred oath. Ironically, Poseidon had broken it as well. They asked me to—dispose of these forbidden children, as they were seen as a threat to the stability of Olympus. The mortal women you spoke of were all pregnant: three carrying Zeus's and one bearing Poseidon's."

The scales of justice seemed to shatter in that moment. They swayed and lurched violently, a cacophony of harsh clanks echoing through the courtroom as the weight of the shocking revelation settled in.

Naoki struggled to hear anything beyond the thundering of his heart in his chest. Percy fell into a hushed silence, not startled but visibly disturbed, as though aware but still sickened by the revelation. The room descended into an oppressive silence until Themis, drawing in a deep breath, inquired, "And what of the offspring of Ares and Hermes?"

"Like Mars, his children are fierce and impulsive by nature." Micah smiled as he said it. "And for the child of Hermes, I can only assume it is Luke Castellan. I suppose it's only fair that I take responsibility for his death as I did for his actions."

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Hiroki had grown up wanting to be a hero, so he left Naoki, and he died.

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Minutes slipped away, and Themis maintained her silence—much like the scales, indecision seemed to hover in the air. The courtroom grew taut with tension as she contemplated, the gravity of the impending decision palpable.

Then, in a sudden and decisive motion, Themis lifted her gavel and brought it down with a resonant thud.

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Naoki stayed in his room throughout April. He yelled at Percy and Nico when they tried to approach him, unable to contain his anger and frustration. He was not like his mother; he would not share a house with someone like him. The very thought of being related to someone like Micah was unbearable for Naoki. The mere idea of sharing any blood ties with it filled him with disgust.

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A storm raged outside.

In his dream, Micah grinned at him as thunder crashed and lightning illuminated the memory of Hiroki's childhood bedroom. "I thought you wanted to be brothers again," he said mockingly. "Nii-san, do you not love me anymore?"

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His mother removed the lock from his door.

Naoki yelled at her until his voice went hoarse.

"Then come out," Hisa pleaded desperately. "We can't keep living like this, Naoki. We need to talk and find a way to heal our family." Naoki gripped his hair in frustration, wishing his mother could understand the pain he was feeling. "I don't feel safe near him!" He exclaimed, his voice trembling with fear and anger. "If you want me to come out and play family with you, then kick out that goddamn murderer!"

Tears welled up in Hisa's eyes.

"He is your brother," she whispered, her voice filled with sadness. "I know he has made terrible mistakes, but he is still a part of our family. We can't just abandon him."

"He did this to us," Naoki snapped. "Hiroki is gone. Stop pretending, Mom. You're losing both of your sons."

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Hisa stopped checking on him.

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When Riley came over, she brought a bag of weed and a six-pack of beer.

"Let's forget about all this family drama and just have a good time," she said, trying to lighten the mood. Naoki didn't bother to ask her when she had relapsed because he knew it wouldn't change anything. Instead, he took her to the rooftop, and they smoked until the stars above stopped resembling Micah's eyes.

Silena found them there, huddled together in the darkness, their laughter mingling with the smoke. She hesitated for a moment, unsure if she should intrude on their moment of escape. "Naoki," she called him sweetly, just like Je te laisserai des mots. "Can we talk, Naoki?"

He didn't want to, but Riley rolled off of him and onto the ground with a sigh. He looked up at Silena, his expression guarded. "What is it?" he asked, his voice tinged with weariness.

The daughter of Aphrodite glanced at Riley. "Can we talk somewhere more private?'

"No," Naoki replied curtly. "Say it here, or don't say it at all."

Silena bit her lip, twisting her fingers nervously. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before speaking. "I don't know... what is on your mind when you think of Micah, but it isn't right. He isn't like—"

"Hey, Riley?" Naoki said, nudging his friend with his foot. "Didn't I tell you Hiroki is pure garbage? Look at this; his little girlfriend came all the way here just to defend him. Have some self-respect or something, Silena. You're just the side piece in this whole mess."

Silena's face flushed with anger as she clenched her fists. "You don't understand, Naoki. Micah is different. He's kind, caring, and he would never hurt anyone intentionally." Naoki scoffed and crossed his arms. "Actions speak louder than words, Silena. I've heard enough to know what kind of person he really is."

"He is a hero!" The words burst out of Silena's mouth, her voice filled with conviction. "He saved my life! He tried to save Charlie! He saved so many people when it was never his responsibility to do so. You can't judge him based on things you know nothing about—"

Naoki nodded hazily; the world was blurry, like looking through a foggy window. "I can," he said. "I can judge him. He is trash, just like you, just like Percy and Nico and all you fucking demigods. You're all the same, thinking you're invincible and above everyone else."

Silena fell silent, her gaze fixed on Naoki, hurt and disbelief evident in her eyes.

"That's not true," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "We're just trying to survive—"

His head began to hurt. "You could do so much better than a cheater." Naoki mumbled and rubbed his temples, trying to alleviate the throbbing pain. "But I guess children of Aphrodite are sluts just like their—"

Silena slapped him hard enough that he crashed to the ash-covered ground right next to Riley.

Her hand trembled as she fought back tears. Opening her pretty, lipstick-coated lips to speak, she struggled to find the words to express her anger and hurt. When she did, she shook her head in weariness. "You're not even worth it," she finally said, her voice filled with disappointment.

She walked away from Naoki, her head held high.

Naoki laughed until the lack of oxygen made him feel like it would kill him.

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He never saw Silena again.

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Naoki woke up with the side of his face caked in dried blood.

When he stumbled his way to the bathroom, he saw him leaning on the wall with a smirk on his face.

"Look at you," the son of Hypnos taunted. "Ruining relationships left and right and up and down. I've never seen someone self-destruct so spectacularly before. Well, that's a lie, but you can claim the honor. Gods know that is the only thing you'll accomplish in this lifetime."

Naoki glared at him, his anger simmering beneath the surface. He refused to let it break him. "I hope you feel proud of yourself." Naoki's voice dripped with venom as he fought to keep his composure. "You finally did it, asshole. You got mom and dad and tricked everyone into thinking you are some sort of hero. But deep down, we all know the truth. You're nothing more than a manipulative liar."

The son of Hypnos smiled, his arms folding confidently over his chest. "You're entitled to uphold your beliefs, Naoki," he responded with a serene tone. "Honestly, I can't help but pity you. How does it feel to lose to someone who isn't even part of the game? Well, you can tell me another time. You'll remain here, right? Fading into insignificance and oblivion all alone." He paused for a moment, shaking his head. "Oh, brother. You almost tricked me, you know." He admitted. "I wanted to believe you—but, well, Nyx taught me better. I won't hold it against you, if that's comforting. I hope you take care of yourself."

"Where are you headed? On some grand quest?" Naoki inquired, his voice cracking despite his efforts to keep it steady.

The half-blood laughed openly, his shoulders shaking with amusement. "Well, I did promise to say goodbye, didn't I? But don't worry; feel free to offer a prayer my way if you become too lonely. I am a filial child, after all. Family is above all, and all those other teachings you've failed to grasp."

The front door opened then. Percy Jackson stood beneath the threshold with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He didn't bother to look at Naoki as he asked his boyfriend, "Are you ready? My mom and Paul are waiting in the car."

"I am," he replied, walking past Naoki without a second glance. In that moment, Naoki was gripped by the realization that perhaps he was genuinely cursed. If his brother's destiny was to become a legendary hero and join the gods, then Naoki's destiny proved to be an eternity of unrequited love and heartache. He would be forever pining for someone who would never return his affections—be it Silena, Hiroki, his own mother, or a stranger passing by on the street. Naoki has to be cursed. He has to be.

The son of Hypnos stopped by the door.

"Tell me one thing, Naoki." He asked. "What is my name?"

He felt his insides twist with anger, fists clenched in frustration. Naoki has to be cursed—because he made a wish when he was three years old, and his life has been filled with nothing but disappointment and hurt ever since—a never-ending ballad of unrequited love because Naoki has never been loved back the same way his brother has. But it didn't matter anymore.

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Hiroki Matsuoka went missing in 1999.

Hiroki Matsuoka died in 1999.

Naoki does not have any siblings.

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Through gritted teeth, he answered.

"Micah." He spat out the name. "Your name is Micah."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Continued in 'And to those I love, goodnight.'

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ! ! !

Never again ask me to write this man again I went insane.... But that's my take on being the glass child! Sorry to pookie Naoki—being the mortal sibling of a half-blood has to SUCK so much.

i think the next chapter is the first 5 kisses between Mercy <3 then i am going full HoO mode i cannot handle writing emotional stuff I need Micah bullying children and killing things!! this book has been fully character building and it is DONE THANK GOD!!

ANWAY CHECK OUT MY NEW PERCY JACKSON FIC IF YOU LIKE MORTAL OC!! it's called let you break my heart again and it has:
- generational trauma
- main character sally! yay!
- percy not knowing wtf taxes are or how to make a resume
- A BABY! percy is such a girl! dad <3

Alright, until then, bye-bye!