"You seem to have a knack for getting yourself into trouble."
"And once again you let me fall."
"But I can never be one step ahead of myself."
"Cruel intentions can be subconscious."
"It doesn't matter who's the fittest in survival. It matters who's the smartest."
"Skin and bones. Teeth and blood. All are never as good broken than the mind."
"Follow our white rabbit. Right down her twisted rabbit hole of a mind."
━━━━━━ʕ•㉨•ʔ━━━━━━━
Blood. Insides pouring everywhere. The small holes around devouring the flesh and blood.
It was terrifying. But it could always be worse. That's a "good" way to think of it at least.
"You little harlot!" The words have no affect. And with a swift movement the head is gone.
Then.
Awakening.
Goodie! It was only a dream. And figment of imagination if you will.
There's a feeling of a soft fur running under hands. A look down reveals shadow. Then curious but sweet and smart black cat.
Seems hungry. Why not get her a nice meal? I rise from my bed and walk to where shadows food is. After retrieving it I simply pour her a bit before fetching some water for the little thing.
I feel like I already have a small headache. And for so unknown reason I have a bad gut feeling about today.
After preparing myself for the day I wonder around my home. Flashbacks almost come back.
Do I deserve this? Did I "earn" it? Maybe not. But I'm not about to question more of this earlier this morning. I sometimes can turn into a victim of my own mind.
I feel a little scratching on one of my light brown legs. Of course.
It is shadow.
But when I look down I have a sense to immediately pick her up and hold her. She only meows. Maybe she knows something I don't.
Maybe I'm just silly.
Or like all the other past times she realizes I have been upset.
I decide to pour myself a drink of coffee as thoughts keep racing back to my head.
"Don't worry baby. Everything will be just fine. No one's ever leaving."
One of the last words I ever heard from my father. Ironic isn't it? For some reason the thought makes me chuckle.
"Why are you so ungrateful? I'm always here for you! I'll do anything for you. I always put YOU first."
Mother said. And then she "went missing". Maybe they thought of me as an unlovable child.
First papa was imprisoned then mother left. Some try to tell me she might have been kidnapped but I know better. She had already started being a bad mother lounge before papa left.
Elena and Pedro Gallagher. Where did everything go wrong? There relationship could be so beautiful and pure. Maybe having me was a fatal flaw.
Nothing ever goes right in districts like eleven.
Come to think of it I never really had any bad things like arguments with my parents until my mother caught a small illness.
One bad day can really change a lot.
I don't even come to the realization I'm tearing up.
"I miss them so much." "Get over it! You don't need them! They LEFT us. Besides everything's better now."
"I don't need them." "How could you say that?! They loved us! You loved them!"
All thoughts I've had before. Mhm. I can make an "excuse" well- am exception for my papa. But not for my so called mother.
Maybe I really don't need people.
Suddenly I snap out of my thoughts after hearing a slight squeak in my floorboards and before I know it I'm smiling.
Oh it's gonna look beautiful outside!
I immediately rush to my bedroom and when I get to my bedroom I start to pick out some pretty pastel ribbons. Which will look prettiest?!
I hold each up to my soft curls as I look in the mirror. Should I request for my hand to be straightened first? Nah, it won't be too hard either way!
Oh, but what should I pick?! There's blue, pink, green...oh! And my favorite color!
Purple!
I immediately grab another thinking I might have a winner.
I think of what hairstyle will go best and be easiest with the ribbons as I also think of how beautiful the outside will look.
Just as I'm about to put a ribbon in I get another thought.
I start to think of last years hunger games. It was legendary! TWO winners! A beautiful girl who wore flames just before the games begun.
Katniss Everdeen.
Barely older than me and hand long dark hair. I must admit even I couldn't help but admire her blue eyes.
When I saw her flames I couldn't help but gasp. She had such a good stylist!
I do to but her look was just- show stopping!
And the boy, peeta Mellark.
He seemed like such a sweetheart. Very smart too. But something about his and Katniss' relationship intrigues me.
I don't mean to be rude or nosy but something about it seems so...fake.
Like it's all an allusion.
Well I still try to have some hope that it is real! Even if I may sound a bit naive. It's hard to come by something that feels authentic like love during such a tragedy as there's.
I start to think more.
Accidentally of Snow. President snow.
Bad, bad man.
I immediately try to shake the feelings off as I think of everything else. I start to think of finnick Odair and Johanna mason.
Johanna is quite rough around the edges but she does have her moments.
Finnick is sometimes like a big brother.
The bad thoughts once again start to consume me.
I try not to think of any of it. I try to think of other things. Things that I enjoy. Things that made me smile.
I smile and giggle as I hear some meows at my door. I've always loved animals. Probably the biggest animal lover you'll ever meet honestly.
It reminds me how I was around and even used snakes to win the hunger ga-
Maybe I should take a nap. Yeah. Maybe I should.
I take a sigh before getting up from my seat. I go downstairs a bit more down and decide what I am going to eat.
I decide to just make myself a sandwich. Something to hard. But special to my tastebuds. Before i even take a bite my stomach growls since I did forget to eat for around an hour after waking up.
Oh well. At least I am now!
I take the first bite and i smile comes onto my face. Wow. I am seem quite silly for being this happy over a sandwich but it brings me joy.
And maybe I get memories of when I could barely enjoy a full sandwich back in 11.
As I eat I decide to lightly sway my legs and think. Maybe I shouldn't. But thankfully this time around it isn't anything bad or negative. It's peaceful and comforting.
I get memories of me and papa playing and running in the home. Him holding me tight and lovingly no matter the occasion.
Whether I had too many tears to shed or I simply just woke up perfectly fine. He was always there to give me love.
And even though I despise the idea, i still think of my mother. How I used to look up to her so much. I saw her as a goddess. I even wanted to look just like her when I grow up.
They were my superhero's.
But all good things must come to an end. I realize I'll never get those kind of things back. And that I may have to get over it even if it's hard. Even if I don't want to.
I then hear a knock at my front door. I dust off my hands before answering it.
"Hello?" I speak softly and calming before smiling brightly. "Hey suki!"
It's Alexis or what I like to call her ,"Lottie."
I open the door and make room for her to enter. "Well hi there Lottie! I missed you!" I speak genuinely before we hug.
As I pull away I really start to think. How could this be? She's capitol. But she isn't the typical stuck up, violence loving psycho. Of course she does "have her moments." But usually not directed towards me.
The only two times was when we had first met.
Other than that she tends to never act like capitol. If anything I remember a time where she treated me like I was. "Look at us. It's perfection." She said to a very rude avox.
I know it's probably bad but I couldn't help but let a small smile creep on my face. But I know that I need stay humble.
I'm not one of THEM. I'm another victor who's gonna be washed up not too soon.
But I still can't help but love that moment.
"How's Lana?" I ask softly as I close the door and motion for Lottie to have a seat. As she does I hear her speak.
"Not too bad actually. But she does miss you a lot." I give a soft frown. I do miss her too. "You know how rosé is." I chuckle and nod. The girl has technically two names so we just tend to call her both.
"Well I miss her too." I want to say more but I take note of Lottie's face. She seems a bit down maybe? Like she's hiding something?
"What's wrong? You seem as if not all is in line." I speak curiously and a big concerned.
"It's nothing honey. Just relax." She spoke with a reassuring smile that I instantly return.
"Well is there anything...special happening at the capital." I ask with playfully faux innocence. I see Lottie's sweet and charming smirk.
"Well maybe. Maybe not. I never thought you would care." Oh. I do. I always recall desiring to know everything that happened in the capital ever since I was young.
This will indeed be fun. I get Lottie a nice cup of her favorite hot tea.
Being a capital favorite really does have its perks.
All this information. It's actually- and surprisingly interesting! It's so much drama as will. So many bloody fights.
And they love to call us district folk animals.
But they fight as if they are simply unhinged. I won't lie and say I feel as though those in the capital haven't had any "small" trauma but even if they don't they still seem so crazy.
Maybe i shouldn't judge. They did push me far enough to the point where o almost broke someone's mind before killing them.
As I hear a noise I finally recall why I had a bad feeling.
It's reaping day.
I don't even have to deal with it anymore but it still brings tears to my eyes.
After the anthems plays I let out a nice sigh and start to relax before hearing it. Before feeling like it's all happening again but possibly worse.
"On this, the third Quarter Quell Games, the male and female Tributes are to be reaped, from the existing pool of Victors, in each district. Victors shall present themselves on Reaping Day regardless of age, state of health, or situation".