"Stan!" I shout at him but he's literally laying out on the bench next to me staring at the sky like a dumbass. "Oh my fucking god Stan it's literally 2:00 on a Thursday you can seriously not be this drunk what am I supposed to do with you?" I babble.
He sits up and smirks leaning in close. "Kiss me!" He giggles. "No your drunk dumbass!" Im not gonna take advantage of my drunk best friend and I don't like him like that anyways! "Soo?! Isn't when people are drunk they're likee suuuperer honest-?" He giggles more his words slurring. "Sometimes..." I mumble. "My parents are working I'll just sneak you into my house dude," I tell him. I stand up and pull him up too. I start to drag him towards my house
(At Kyles house)
I sit him on my bed and sigh. This idiot.
"Stay here I'm getting your some water," I explain. I walk to my kitchen and get him a water bottle, bowl to puke in (just in case), and a snack bag of goldfish. When I walk back in he's playing music on his phone and smiling. I hand him the water bottle. "Drink that," I command him. He open it and takes a sip. And then starts to gulp it down. Perfect. Then I hand him the goldfish "You should try to eat some of these too, and here's a bowl if you need to barf," I explain to him. I sit on the bed next to him.
"Would it be weird if I like just ranted to you? Cause you won't remember any of this," I mumble. "It's just like... I know you think that cashier uh... Hannah was hot and like she is! Is something wrong with me? Like I know I should think she was so fucking hot but I just don't see it," I rant. "Maybe I'm a late bloomer? But Cartman keeps calling me gay and... I don't think he's completely wrong? Does that make since?" I sigh.
"Are you suuuree you don't want to kiss me?" He teases me. "I don't know! Maybe I do but I won't do that right now because your drunk and it's wrong to take advantage of a drunk person and I won't do it if your sober!" I rant. He sighs "your so lame... goody two shoes!" He sneers. I roll my eyes and sigh heavily.
I hear my moms car and I panic. Shit. "Stan get in my closet and being quiet or else!" I shout as I open the closet door. He climbs in the closet and I hand him the like bowl. I shut the closet door.
I go down stairs to the living room to act normal like I just got home. My mom walks in with Ike who had a dentist appointment today and therefore missed the end of the school day. "Hi Kyle bubby! How as school?" She asks. "Boring as hell," I lie. "Language, but I'm sorry to hear that," she sings. "Yeah it's whatever, I'm gonna go up stairs to my room," I call as I start to walk to my room.
When I get there I let Stan out of my closet and sigh. "What the fuck am I supposed to do with you?" I ask him. He does a Somersault and his feet hit my bed frame. "What the fuck are you doing?" I ask. "I dunno," he replies. Okay I need to call his mom. I'll ask if he can stay over she'll probably be fine with it she's pretty cool. I grab my phone and ring Mrs.Marsh and ask if he can stay over, I lie and say my mom doesn't mind and she agrees with no problem or questions. Perfect.
(Later that night)
I call Kenny as I make Stan scoot to the left side of my bed, the side on the wall. Kenny picks up fairly quickly. "Hey dude" he says. "Hey, guess what?" I scoot onto the right side of my bed. "What?" He replies. "Stan's hellaaa drunk," I announce. "Am nawtt!" He whines. Kenny laughs. "Sounds like it..." he continues to laugh. "Yeah just thought you'd find it funny. He's just all sad and shit about Wendy. He's staying over at mine tonight," I chuckle. "Cool, anyways I gotta go I'm hanging out with Butters tonight," he tells me. "Oh for real? Okay dude! See ya!" I exclaim and hang up.
I casually throw a blanket over Stan as I hear my moms foot steps coming to my door. "Good night hun!" My mom smiles at me and shuts off the light. I uncover Stan and evenly share my blanket between us. It's a pretty great blanket it's huge and super thick (haha that's what she said) so it's really warm. He shuts his eyes and wraps his arms around my waist. I blush and squirm bit but I don't move his arms from my waist. Oh my fucking god I do not have a crush on Stan. I do not. I cannot.