⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ forever and always.
008. good or bad news?
｡☆✼★ STELLA CONKLIN'S POV. ★✼☆｡
After spending an hour alone upstairs, Jeremiah came to get me when it was time for them to call their dad. Conrad gestures for me to sit on his lap, which i do.
"Dad should be calling soon." He says, resting his hands on my hips as he spoke.
"Yeah."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk to him without me? I can go finish reading my book," I say pointing back upstairs. But Conrad shakes his head and holds me down as if i'd run off right now.
"No, stay please." I nod at Conrad and looking across the table at Jeremiah. "Plus, it's your house just as much as it is ours, Ell.
Conrad reaches around me as his Dad's contact flashes on the screen. I hear Conrad take a deep breathe before sliding the answer button across and putting it on speaker in the middle of the table.
"Dad, hey." Conrad starts.
"Hey, Con. I only got about a few minutes here." Adam says through the phone.
"Hey, Dad." Jeremiah makes himself known to his father.
"Jere? You're in Cousins, too?"
"Yeah, just got here last night."
"Stella's here too," Conrad says, rubbing circles on the sides of my hips.
"Hi Mr Fisher," I say quietly.
"Alright look, I got a heads-up from the bank telling me you're trying to access your trust. That's not gonna happen."
Everyone's hearts collectively drop into our stomach's.
"So you've already made up your mind?"
"Yeah. I mean, that money is for your future. I'm not gonna let you blow it on a beach house."
I jump in before the boys could, "With all due respect Mr Fisher, it's not just a beach house."
"You want me to beg, Dad? Cause I will. I'll do whatever you want ⎯"
𓆩*𓆪
The call came early in the morning. The news that my godmother was put of pain, was relieving and completely heart shattering all in one.
I sit on the bench in the church just staring into space, have spaced out long ago. Time had been a blur sine that phone call. Feeling so overwhelmed with grief it was like my body didn't know how to function anymore.
Her beautiful picture largely displayed in front of her casket decorated with her favourite blue hydrangeas she always grew herself in her personal garden.
I tried to block out the sounds of sobs escaping from Jeremiah's mouth. I sat in between him and Conrad, Conrad holding onto my hand like his life depended on it. And we depended on each other to get through today, we hadn't spoke much but we knew we just needed to be with one another and we'd get through it.
The rest of my family sat in the row behind us, my mother encouraging me to stay with Conrad. We squeezed each other's hands, afraid to see what would happen if we let go. Maybe it would make today feel more real than it already is, the final goodbye to Susannah.
Conrad hadn't got much sleep last night, tossing and turning the whole. We got up at around 4 am to go for a walk, I thought it would maybe help clear his head, but he was lucky to have slept for an hour.
The funeral was what everyone thought it would be. A eulogy from somebody who never got the chance to be in her presence, know her. People's sobs heard throughout the church from people who hardly knew her.
Conrad stood up for his song for Susannah, his mother. A song he used to sing to her everyday when he was home. He learnt the sing on his guitar for his mum, and she loved nothing more in this cruel world than to hear her boys sing for her.
I focused more on Jeremiah, he grabbed my hand out of comfort as Conrad began singing for everyone. You could hear the nerves in his voice, the shakiness echoing and bouncing off the walls.
Conrad and I maintained eye contact, like he needed an anchor to keep him going. I smiled and encouraged him to keep going, silently. Wanting nothing more than to get up out of my seat and hold him when his voice cracks.
I made myself a promise I wouldn't leave the Fisher boys' sides today, I'd help them with any emotions they felt, if they needed a hug. I'd be there, I was willing to put myself aside to make sure they were okay. That's all that mattered.
⎯⎯
Walking into the Fishers' house, black clothes were scattered all over the house as people came to the wake. Family given condolences from people all over. Conrad and I walked upstairs before anybody could bombard him with fun memories about his mother, he just wanted to be alone with me, somewhere quiet.
We set up shop in a secluded lounge area, i sat down at the end of the couch and Conrad laid down on, his head resting on my lap. I feel my tights dampen from the tears that fall from Conrad's eyes, making me start raking my fingers through his hair to soothe him.
He clutched onto my hand as his sobs overtook his body, making tears fall down my cheeks too. I was at a loss on what to do.
"What can I do to help baby?" I ask him, my voice soft.
"Just be here, like you have been. I love you," He replies, turning his head to look up at me and wipe the tears from my face. I retaliate and wipe his away to, him smiling at the gesture.
"I won't leave, ever. I love you too," I smile.
We sit in silence for what feels like hours. Hearing the faint sound of the playlist that was made up of Susannah's favourite songs that played downstairs. I smile when 'Gold Dust Woman' by Fleetwood Mac comes on. We used to always dance to this song together, it being my favourite off Rumours. Which was followed by Silver Springs, another one of our favourites.
Belly walks into the room shortly after, holding two plates of food.
"Thanks Bells," I say, taking them from her. Noticing the sorrow and hurt look on her face. "What happened?"
"I, uh, saw Jere with some girl in his room when I took his food," She answers, making Conrad sit up.
"That's his friend from school, Annabelle."
"Oh, um, cool," She says turning around and walking out of the room. We hear Jeremiah yell her name as they both run downstairs.
Their yelling could be heard over the music, Conrad looking at me puzzled. I shake my head at Belly making such a scene on a day that is already hard for so many people, including the person in which she's currently yelling at.
"Do you wanna go after her?" Conrad asks, picking at the pieces of fruit that was on his plate.
"Not really, I don't want to watch her embarrass herself. Mum will talk to her," I answer, smiling at him as we watch our favourite movie on Conrad laptop we got brought in here. 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire'.
𓆩*𓆪
I snap out of my daydream, which feels like a daily ritual at this point. To still hear Adam Fisher's voice through the speakers.
"Guys, I had my lawyers look into any possible loopholes right after the funeral, but there's none. Okay? The house is legally Julia's."
Conrad and Jeremiah look at each other, "Wait, so you've known we're losing the house since the funeral?" Jeremiah asks him, growing more annoyed with his father as more minutes pass by.
"Jere, I'm not your evil father trying to ruin your life. And believe it or not, I'm jus as upset as you are about it." The brother's scoff at their father's attempt at a heartfelt confession.
"That's such bullshit," Conrad says, squeezing my hips harder without realising. He quietly apologises when he realises and kisses my cheek. "You never cared about this house, Dad. You never cared about it cause you never cared about Mum."
"You know that's not true. Jere, come on. You get it, don't you?"
Jeremiah rubs his eyes, sighing. "Dad, I-I don't, I don't get why we can't just use our trust to buy it, and then we can sell it later if we need the money."
"No. Julia's gonna go ahead with the open house tomorrow. I really appreciate the attempt here, but this is the end of the conversation. You just make sure Julia gets everything that she needs. You got it?"
"Conrad was right. Talking to you is pointless," I grow surprised at Jere who says that to his father. If you had asked me a few days ago if Jeremiah would ever talk of or to his father that way I would've laughed in your face.
Jeremiah slams his finger down on the hang up button, finished listening to his father's lame answers on the fate of the house. Tears begin polling in his eyes, i reach across the table and squeeze his wrist. He smiles at me as I lean back against Conrad.
We all turn our head when the front door opens, I expect to see Julia again but instead in walk Steven, Belly, Taylor and Florence. I stand up and run into Florence's arms. I did not expect her to show up here in Cousins, or any of them for that matter.
"Surprise!" Steven yells, holding pie in his hands. Belly and Taylor look at me with confused looks on why we're so upset. "Oh, shit. I knew we should have told them we were coming." He says to Belly and Taylor, Florence laughing at my twin brother.
He looks at me, noticing the stray tears that escaped from my tear duct, he opens his arms and the reason on why I was angry at him completely left my mind. Now all I knew was that I needed one of his hugs, he held me tightly as Conrad speaks up.
"No, it's not that. It's, uh ⎯" His voice cracks.
"We're losing the house," Jere says, looking down at the table as Belly's stare lingers on him. "They put it up for sale."
"Why didn't you tell us, Stella?" Belly asks, offended.
"Don't start, Belly. I don't have the energy right now, okay?" I say to her, while accepting the hug from Taylor.
Steven walks over to me again, I was now standing behind Conrad's chair as Florence talked to him and Jeremiah.
"I brought you some pie, wasn't sure if you'd be hungry or not," He says holding it up to show me.
"I'm glad you're here," I smile, hugging him again.
⎯⎯
We all collectively decided on a movie night, since everyone was here in Cousins together. I watch as Jeremiah and Florence dive deep into a conversation, and Belly's jealous glare on them together.
"Is Jere okay do you think?" I ask my boyfriend, he rests his hand on my hips as he looks down at me.
"Yeah, I think so. I told him we won't give up, I can't lose this house, Ell," He insists, brushing a lose strand of hair that was dangling in my face.
"Steven I give you the count of three to get out of our spot," I announce, standing in front of him. Holding up my fingers as I begin counting.
"You snooze, you lose. And you'll do what?" He asks, being a smartass.
"Steven, don't be an ass, again," Florence laughs, sitting in between Jeremiah and Taylor, Belly on the floor in front of Taylor. "Let her have it, get up."
I smile in victory as Conrad sits down and pulls me down with him, I squeal as I collide with him on the cushions.
"Oh, I uh ordered pizza. It should be like 30 minutes, but I only ordered one with pineapple, so I call dibs on two slices, alright?"
I shake my head at the thought of pineapple on pizza, a crime. "That's just wrong."
"Jeremiah, I think that's all you," Conrad laughs. Everyone laughs at the youngest Fisher boy. A debate brewing on whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not, Jeremiah and Florence being the only ones to think it does.
"So what do you guys wanna watch" I ask everyone, scanning through the few options we have. I hold up mine and Susannah's favourite movie. "I was thinking, 'It Happened One Night'."
Conrad takes it from my hands and moves me so he can get up and put it in the DVD player connected to the TV. He lays back down, jumping on me making me let out a audible 'oomph' but hugged him against me once we got comfortable.
Conrad's phone buzzes in his pocket which was touching my leg. He sits up and brings the phone closer to his face, his breathe quickening after a few seconds. He gets up suddenly and rushes out of the house. I look at Steven as I get up without hesitating and following after him.
I yell after him and follow him all the way down to the beach. I watch him clutch his chest from afar, making me speed up my steps. He was having a panic attack.
I break out in a run, wanting to get to him before his breathing got to out of control. I hear footsteps behind me, I look back to see Steven following us too.
I finally reach Conrad, I place my hands on his shoulders to steady him. "Connie, honey, breathe with me. In and out," I tell him, holding his face in my hands to get him to look at me. I watch him try and copy my breathing, but he begins to panic when it won't work.
"Conrad! Man are you okay?" Steven yells. "What's going on, man? What happened?"
"Panic attack, I'm fine. I'll be fine," Conrad yells back at him, I look behind Conrad to see Steven inching closer.
"Connie, you're not fine. Let us help you," I say, holding him steady as he tries to walk around more.
"Is there anything I can do?" Steven asks, worried for his best friend.
Conrad looks at me, wanting me to answer for him. "Just talk Steven. Tell a story about when we were kids, something funny."
"Um right, talk, okay." Steven begins to stumble over his words. "The beach. The first time you guys brought me here to surf, man, I was so freaked out. You and Jere had just come back from some fancy surfing camp and you knew all these cool tricks."
I smile up at Conrad, thinking back to that day, I could tell it was calming him down so I signalled for Steven to continue.
"I felt like such a little kid. But you stayed and paddled with me till we caught a wave together. I thought you were the coolest person in the world," Conrad shakes his head at that last part.
"I guess you were wrong about that one," Conrad says back to him, making me shake my head at him.
"Oh honey, you were and still are the coolest person in the world. You make the happiest girl in the world, you know that. You love hard, and make sure everyone you know that you care about them. I love you, Steven loves you, Jere loves you. Please, baby, let us help you," I say, cupping his face in my hands. Standing up on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek.
"What she said," Steven laughs, making Conrad crack a smile. "How often do you have these?"
"Often, more since my mum died," Conrad answers him.
Conrad takes my hand in his as he walks back towards where Steven was standing. "I'm glad you guys are here."
"You wanna tell us what got you so worked up," I squeeze his hand, he looks down at me looking reluctant to answer me.
"Found out I got into Stanford," My heart drops, I had no clue he had even applied.
"What?" I say.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Mum had this fantasy about me attending there with Stella after she helped her apply. Something about me finding myself on the West Coast," He looks away from me and back out to the water. I turn his face to look at me again.
"Connie, this is a good thing, yeah? You've been dreaming about Stanford longer than I have," I say, a soft smile on my face.
"I know baby. But things are just starting to get better with Jere, and he's going to Finch in the fall, which is close to Brown. But then there's the idea of being at the same school as my girl and having a dorm together. I'm just at a loss on what to do," He says, looking at me.
"Hey, dude, you don't have to decide this second or anything okay? I know Stell won't be mad at you on whatever you decide," Steven says, placing his hands on our shoulders.
"He's right. I'll support you either way," I smile.
"Just please don't tell Jeremiah."
The three of us walk back to the house when Conrad's full calmed down. Steven bring up any possible embarrassing moment of me to get us to laugh, and it worked.
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄˗ ˏ ˋ ˎ ˊ ˗
i put this chapter off for so long bc i hated writing the funeral scene :(
but enjoy!
[ don't forget to vote and comment! ]