"I never wish to be easily defined."
- Franz Kafka
~~~~
New
As a child, I often listened to a fairy tale that my mother would read to P'Mook and I. It recounted the story of a prince who fell victim to a curse placed upon him by a malevolent witch. This curse would transform him into stone unless he received a kiss from his true love as the first pair of lips to meet his own.
Word of the cursed prince quickly spread throughout the kingdom, attracting numerous individuals who believed they could be the one to rescue him. Sadly, the prince never received the intended kiss, and ultimately succumbed to the petrifying spell.
Mom employed this enchanting tale to instill in us the importance of placing our trust in others, as it was evident that the prince's downfall stemmed from his inability to do so. Deep down, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the prince, understanding that his inability to trust stemmed from a profound absence of love in his life.
"It will be fine, Newwiee," Earth's voice interrupted my train of thought.
We remained in his car, parked outside the gate of my house. I had asked him to stop so that he could turn back, but he refused to listen.
"I understand. Just go back home, Earth. I am capable of handling this on my own," I reassured him once again.
"I want to accompany you inside. You mentioned that you were not ready to face him yet. So allow me to join you!"
I sighed and turned to face him directly. "Listen, Earth. I understand your intentions. I promise to contact you if anything untoward occurs, alright?"
He took a deep breath and looked at me thoughtfully. "Alright, fine! I won't accompany you inside. However, I am eagerly waiting for your meet-cute to turn into a disaster."
I chuckled at his comment and replied, "You know what, let's stay connected on a call. If you sense anything odd, feel free to enter the house. We can make it more dramatic!" I winked at him.
"Wow! Someone is feeling bold. I like it. Keep me on speakerphone," he suggested.
He took out his phone and called me, causing my phone to vibrate. I picked up the call and he said, "Hello, darling! Ready to spice things up?"
"Always!" I chuckled, opening and closing the car door with a thud. I turned around and waved at Earth, smiling.
I hurried towards the main door, feeling nervous and sweaty. I can't show weakness in front of these intimidating individuals. I need to compose myself. I paused for a moment, gripping the doorknob, as I heard Phuwin's voice from inside. "I'm not tired! I won't leave! Why are you doing this, Dad?"
Phuwin was the only one unaware of the arranged marriage. I'm certain he's causing a commotion. I swiftly pushed open the door, sensing everyone's eyes on me. Without looking at anyone, I simply closed the door.
I slowly looked towards the front and noticed unfamiliar faces. They must be the prospective groom's family. Are there no women in their family? Did his mother not attend today? Or is he, like me, without a mother?
"Where is your son, Uncle Pong? Let me guess, this is your eldest daughter? Everyone is returning home except your son!" A voice filled with frustration reverberates across the room.
I felt a shiver run up my spine at the sharpness of his voice. Did he mistakenly think I was a girl? I quickly glanced in his direction. There stood a tall man, donning a distinguished black suit. His exposed chest displayed his well-defined muscles. Every aspect of him exuded wealth. The evening light highlighted his radiant, tanned skin, giving him an almost angelic appearance. However, he refused to offer even a hint of a smile. Could he possibly be my fiancé? It was impossible to tell, as I had not yet seen his face.
Another man lounged on the sofa, seemingly at ease. He possessed a more robust build, and his muscles strained against his tight white shirt. When I chanced a glance at his face, he responded with a smile. My cheeks reddened, and I quickly averted my gaze, fearing that he might interpret my actions as appraising him. Could he be the fiancé? Only the heavens knew the truth!
I was taken aback as I witnessed my father smiling at the tanned man. "Um... Tawan. That's my son, New Thithipoom. The one you will be marrying soon."
Ah, so it's the latter. I avoided looking at him altogether after that. Phuwin hurried towards me and took hold of my hand.
"P'New, why are you here? I texted you not to come early!" Phuwin exclaimed, almost shouting.
"Phuwin, go back to your room immediately! Don't involve yourself in the affairs of your elders. And where were you, New Thithipoom?" Aunt Ann's voice resonated through the hall.
I remained silent, avoiding making eye contact with her. I glanced at Dad and then at Phuwin. Taking a deep breath, I said, "I was- I am - I apologize."
Why did I have to stutter? I looked to Phuwin for support. In response, Phuwin held onto my hand more tightly.
"You better be!" Dad was storming towards Phuwin and me. With each step Dad took, I found myself shuffling backwards. My heart was pounding anxiously and my palms were sweating.
Just then, the door swung open once more, revealing yet another person who made quite the entrance. Earth! Thank God! He had a smile on his face as he exclaimed, "I'm back!"
Phuwin couldn't contain his excitement and exclaimed, "P'Earth!" before rushing to embrace him.
"I've missed you, kid," Earth said, returning Phuwin's embrace.
"I'm not a kid, P'Earth!"
I couldn't help but suppress a smile as Earth chuckled and replied, "I know, little Phu!"
After they let go of each other, Earth approached me with a mischievous smirk on his face. I wondered what he had in mind. He pulled me into a hug, and his hands quickly made their way inside my shirt. My heart skipped a beat, and I whispered in his ear, "Earth! Please remove your hands! It's tickling me!"
"Don't get on my nerves, Joss!" Suddenly the tanned guy shouted, his tone filled with irritation.
The room fell silent, and Earth released his grip on me, flashing a smile in my direction. Then, he turned to Phuwin and remarked, "His fiancé is a bit of a lunatic!"
"Enough, Earth!" I pursed my lips together, trying to stifle a laugh. Phuwin stood behind me, giggling uncontrollably, momentarily forgetting his earlier annoyance.
"You didn't tell me P'Earth was back!" Phuwin complained.
"I'm so sorry, Phu. We have a lot to talk about. Let's all sort it out tomorrow, okay?" I told him.
Earth was already creating a show for everyone to see and walked around as if he owned the place. Then he suddenly turned towards me and Phuwin. "Phu, Newwie, why are you two still standing there? Come join us!"
"Where is P'Mook?" I inquired of Phuwin. She had informed me that she would be home, and there were numerous missed calls - a clear indication that she was present. So why wasn't she downstairs?
"She had to leave due to an emergency. She called multiple times to inform you she wouldn't be home. But you didn't answer!" Phuwin explained, rolling his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," I offered as my only response at that moment.
Phuwin and I approached Earth, avoiding eye contact with the other individuals seated nearby. I could feel the intense stare of the tanned man on my neck.
"No!" the tanned man suddenly exclaimed, capturing the attention of everyone in the room. I chose to ignore him and my attention was fixated on Earth, as he winked at me and I smiled at his playfulness.
"I hate your fiance! He's mental. Don't marry him, P'New!" Phuwin pleaded with me.
"Stop with the 'your fiance' thing! And don't call him mental. Maybe even he was forced about all this. It is unwise to pass judgment without understanding the full picture, Phuwin," I calmly responded.
"Nonsense! He was so rude from the beginning. You should have seen the glares he gave me!" Phuwin defended himself.
"Okay, be quiet now!" I told him.
"That sounds reasonable! Let's have our discussion tomorrow, among the elders only. It would be more convenient for everyone. I will see you tomorrow, Push." my father stated. They proceeded towards the door, with Aunt Ann quietly trailing behind.
"I hate you so much, P'Earth! You didn't tell me you were in Thailand! And you too, P'New! You didn't tell me about all these marriage things!" Phuwin was pouting.
"Oh... you hate us! Do you hate me?"
Earth was making faces at Phuwin. To which, Phuwin burst into laughter and joined Earth, both of them diverting their attention towards me and making silly faces. I smiled momentarily, then regained my composure.
"I hate you both!" I stated, rolling my eyes in exasperation.
Earth took hold of my hand, causing me to blush. "Oh, but you love us both, Newwiee!"
"Shut up!" I scolded them.
"Good bye, Mr and Mrs. Techaapaikhun." I heard that stern voice once more before the door closed behind them.
Moving swiftly, we ascended the stairs and made our way to P'Gawin's room. It was the largest room in the house, complete with a balcony. It had previously served as our guest room. My mother had personally designed it to comfortably accommodate at least five people. It was my third favorite place on Earth.
"I have to speak to you, New Thithipoom!" My father's voice boomed, causing a shiver to run down my spine. Earth still had a firm grip on my hand, and I hoped he wouldn't let go.
"Dad, can you please talk to New tomorrow? We're all exhausted, and I want to spend time with my brothers," Earth pleaded.
"Is that what you want, New? Can't you spare a few minutes for your own father?" Dad snapped, his eyes searching mine for a response.
Your own father. That sentence played across in my head repeatedly. I simply nodded and reluctantly released Earth's hand. The sudden absence of warmth left my palm cold, and I yearned for that connection again.
"You guys go ahead and I'll catch up with you soon," I said, forcing a smile at my brothers. I glanced at Earth, conveying a silent plea for understanding, to which he sighed in resignation.
Just then, Earth's phone rang, and he hurriedly excused himself with Phuwin to take the call. I turned around to face my father, only to find him staring at me with a glare.
He started walking towards his office, and I silently followed, my hands trembling with anxiety. I knew I was in trouble, and desperately searched for an excuse to explain my lateness. But my mind drew a blank.
Should I tell him I was caught up in the traffic? Probably that sounded better for now. But I need to add more to it to make it convincing. Upon reaching his office, my heart raced with anticipation. He stopped in front of the large wooden door, and I held my breath, overwhelmed with fear.
He entered a series of numbers on the lock, causing the door to swing open. I followed closely behind as he stepped inside, and the door closed behind me. At that moment, tension hung heavy in the air.
Before I could even turn around, a forceful blow struck my cheek, leaving behind a sharp, stinging sensation. The pain caused a tear to trickle down my face, which I quickly brushed away. Perhaps I deserved this punishment.
"You were instructed to arrive home early! You made them wait! How dare you!" his voice thundered with anger.
I closed my eyes tightly, tears streaming down my face. Everything was my fault. I should have informed Earth earlier about my need to leave early. Instead, I had selfishly indulged myself while others waited for me.
"Where the fuck were you? Why are you not speaking? Speak now, you fool! All I asked was for you to marry that man. You'll be taken care of for the rest of your life. You won't need to work those part-time jobs anymore! Their family will provide for you! Why can't you understand that!" My father's anger escalated with each passing moment.
"I-I'm s-so sorry, Sir. I didn't m-mean to be la-late. I got ca-carried away with-"
My words trailed off as my father scoffed loudly and paced the room. "Don't give me that excuse! How dare you lie to me! I spoke to your professor! Where were you?"
"Dad, I-"
"It's sir, not Dad, for you!" He shouted before taking a seat.
I looked down at the ground, feeling cornered. There was no way to deceive him. I had to come up with an explanation.
"I was with Inn!" I blurted out before he could continue his tirade.
"Which Inn? The Ronnakiat?" He asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Y-yes," I responded quickly, hoping it would appease him.
"Oh. Why did you lie then?" He inquired, raising an eyebrow.
My father was familiar with Inn. He knew Inn was my only bestfriend. In fact, Inn was the only friend I was ever permitted to bring home for sleepovers.
"I-I assumed y-you wouldn't l-let me go." I cautiously expressed, striving not to sound overly suspicious.
"You need to make amends with them! You have no comprehension of their wealth and the level of respect they command globally! And you are fortunate enough to be engaged to their heir!" He glared at me intensely.
"I-I apologize," I offered quietly.
"I want you to go on a date with Tawan prior to the engagement. I will inform you of the date," he commanded, turning towards his computer.
"O-okay."
"If talking doesn't work with you, I have better ways to deal with you. Now, fucking get out!" He shouted.
Swiftly, without hesitation, I exited through the door, wiping away my tears as I ascended the stairs to P'Gawin's room. Aunt Ann passed me with a smirk, a deserved reaction to my actions. I knew I deserved the slap.
Opening the door, a smile formed on my face as I saw all of my loved ones gathered there, waiting for me. P'Mook, P'Gawin, Earth, and Phuwin sat together on the large bed.
"Newwie! Why are standing there? Come here. Earth was telling me about your Meet-Ugly!" P'Gawin said as he felt my presence.
Nodding, I quickly entered the room and closed the door behind me. A single tear rolled down my cheek. Earth pulled me into a gentle embrace, concerned. "What happened? Did he hurt you?" he asked.
"No, he didn't. I am just overwhelmed with happiness, seeing all of us together like in the old days. These are tears of joy," I explained, my voice trembling.
"Stop crying, P'New!" Phuwin chimed in, drawing me into the collective hug.
Soon, everyone joined in, wrapping their arms around me. It was a hug filled with warmth, the most comforting embrace I had experienced. I had missed this so much.
"Kay should have been here..." P'Mook suddenly voiced.
"Yes!" All concurred, their heads nodding in unison.
"Let's all be together for the rest of our lives. I don't want to marry him!" I exclaimed through my tears.
"Stop crying, Newwie!" The entire group chorused, eliciting a chuckle from me.
"He looks like a Greek god, though!" P'Mook sneered, directed at me.
"What the hell, P'Mook! Stop it." I said rolling my eyes.
"He's heavy competition, P'Mook! I think I'll lose my boyfriend soon!" Earth melodramatically proclaimed, extending his hands towards his chest.
"Yeah, totally agreed! I missed a chance to meet your fiance. All thanks to my asshole captain!" P'Gawin remarked, convulsing upon the bed.
"Stop it already! I hate you all so much! That mental guy is not handsome! P'New won't marry him!" Phuwin said, placing his arms around my shoulders. I nodded in agreement, displaying a pout on my face.
Laughter erupted as everyone in the group returned to their conversations. We gathered to discuss the dissatisfaction we felt towards life's current state and our desire for improvement. P'Mook shared the challenges she faced in dealing with her students at school, describing the difficulties she encountered. P'Gawin spoke about the demanding basketball practices and his asshole captain's unreasonable expectations, forcing him to work harder than anyone else.
Earth recounted the heavy snowfall in Paris and the unexpected midnight work he had to undertake to address lighting issues. He even demonstrated a new walking technique he had learned as a model. The rest of us attempted to replicate it but failed miserably, resulting in shared laughter.
Phuwin detailed his plans for future pranks and how he effortlessly fooled a new transfer student named Pond into believing that the principal's office was located on the rooftop. Only Phuwin found it amusing, while the rest of us did not. P'Mook took the opportunity to scold him for his immature behavior. Earth filmed the entire interaction, recording every detail.
These are the moments that I will treasure for a lifetime, carefully safeguarding them. I am grateful to Earth for always standing by my side. I am aware of how challenging this situation is for him as well, yet he remains composed in navigating through it. This calm demeanor brings me immense gratitude, as it helps me cope with the circumstances at hand.
I am thankful for these individuals, my loved ones, who consistently provide their unwavering support. They are always there for me.
Earth and I lay together on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms. P'Mook had returned to her room, while P'Gawin and Phuwin settled themselves on the floor.
P'Gawin playfully warned us, "Don't do anything inappropriate on my bed, or else I'll kill you both!"
Rolling my eyes, I responded curtly, "Enough, P'Gawin!"
Earth chuckled and drew me closer, planting a quick kiss on my lips. "Good night, my love," he whispered softly.
"Good night," I replied, snuggling closer to him.
As I began to slowly drift off to sleep, I abruptly opened my eyes when I felt the pressure of his arousal against my thigh. "What on holy mackerel, Earth!" I whispered, moving slightly away from him. However, he promptly pulled me back towards him.
"I'm sorry! I haven't taken care of myself yet, and you're not making it any easier, you're seducing me with that soft body of yours," he explained, kissing my temple and earning a chuckle from me.
"Quiet down and let's get some sleep," I told him, closing my eyes once again. Earth followed suit, and we both settled in for the night.
Suddenly, Earth whispered affectionately, "I love you."
Acknowledging the sentiment with a smile, I responded, "I am aware."
Pressing for a more verbal affirmation, Earth insisted, "Say it back!"
Kindly obliging, I whispered back, "I love you, Earth."
Taking the opportunity to tease us, Phuwin interjected, "I love you too, P'New! Now, please be quiet and allow me to rest. The noise you two make is rather disruptive. I am in need of sleep!" Amidst our laughter, we couldn't help but comply.
I will be grateful every day I have you all in my life because so many things could have kept us meeting each other, from being together, just from being alive at this exact moment in time. So many things could have happened to keep us from existing together, in the bodies we are now in, and I will forever be grateful that we somehow ended up together. That somehow, in this infinite universe, we found each other. And I will always be grateful for that. I will always be grateful for us.