eating the moon

ON EMPTINESS

Before we went to bed, he sucked the emptiness
from my finger. Last night, inside my dream,
I watched my younger self empty a toy chest,
searching for a doll that resembled my mother.
We are all searching for something. He wanted
something from me—more than I could give,
more than I had. I was afraid. He was searching
my face while he drew out the you in me. I saw
you in him. I looked away, closed my eyes, and
darkened my world. Even in the dark, I could feel
his eyes like the sun against my skin. I wanted to
feel nothing. He wanted to feel everything. Do you
understand what I am trying to say? You gave me
that emptiness, remember? How could I give you away?