To say i'm confused is an absolute understatement. Whatever happened yesterday between Adonis and I has wracked my brain in more ways then one. Did I intentionally do this? yes. Did I expect such a quick reaction, no...yes.
"What did I tell you V? Go get your man!" Val is over the moon, as usual. When she saw Adonis drop me off, she couldn't wait to hear what happened, I held her off until the morning, confused and tired last night from our little adventure.
"But he's not my man, I don't know why he showed up and took me out, and he was like when i'm around don't even think about bringing your wallet, so what does that mean? There's going to be more of these not date dates?" Val shook her head at me, a smug look on her face.
"Oh V, you do know why. You wouldn't have agreed to trying to get a reaction out of him if part of you knew he could actually be interested. You're in denial." She walked over to me, plopping herself onto my bed.
"Everyone sees it, I think even you do, you just don't want to accept it." She was right, god I hate when she's right. It just doesn't make sense, none of it does, hell I don't even know how we'd work out, we're both so quiet and out of the loop most of the time.
"I know Anthony really set you back on the dating life, but you've grown so much since him, you've healed and I think it's time for you to at least try opening up to someone." Hearing his name sent a chill down my spine.
Anthony's my ex boyfriend, a cruel poor excuse of a man. I didn't want to accept the fact that he's the reason I've pushed away every man that's tried to emotionally enter my life, but she's right. "He has nothing to do with this, I'm fine, I've well moved on from that asshole." For the first time I've not lying about my feelings towards a man.
"I just-I don't know, what's the point of trying to open up to Adonis if we don't work out? Then I have to go back to square one in the heartbreak realm." I ran a hand down my face, I don't know what i'd do without Val. No matter how much I hate when she's right in situations I don't want her to be in, or her having sex in our room knowing i'll be home any minute, she's my best friend, I have no clue who I would've ended up with without her.
"You cant have that mentality V. I think about that too when Sebastian and I get into it, but I'm not going to be in a constant state of worry about whether or not we're end game. You have to live in the moment, the future doesn't always have to concern you."
"We're getting too serious Val, I need a nap." She finally laughed, something neither of us have done since this conversation started. Tossing my blanket over me, she curled up into my side, we used to take naps together all the time, it's harder on the small full size twin beds, but I missed this, and I wasn't going to pass up on the opportunity.
As if the day couldn't get any worse, we were woken up to banging on our door. I forced Val to open it, hoping to get back to my nap, but instead, a very energetic Parker sprung onto my bed next to me. I assume the rest of their gang followed suit. I wasn't in the mood to piss Adonis off, or be lovey dovey with Parker, but he draped his arm over my waist, chuckling to himself.
"Your lover boys here" I groaned, shaking his arm off of me. "Not in the mood Parker." I sat up from the bed, pushing the sheets off of me. Adonis, Damian and Sebastian made themselves comfortable on the couch. "Do you guys not have your own room?" A sequence of fuck offs were thrown my way, and Val had a sorry look on her face.
I locked eyes with mr brown eyes and immediately wished I hadn't. He had a cold expression on his face, the same disgusted look he usually gives me when I'm with Parker. Do I feel bad? No, but I hate when he looks at me like that. Why do I even care?
Against every rational part of my brain, I planted myself in between him and damian. I cant lie and say he didn't rub off on me yesterday, i'm just so utterly confused. His arm came around me and draped over my shoulder, I leaned into the embrace, resting my head on his shoulder.
"Hi" I whispered, hoping to not wake the beast. "Hi angel" he whispered back, sending a chill down my spine. His voice does things to me, terrible things, no matter how much I hate the nickname, or any for that matter, I couldn't fight it when he called me one.
"You guys! What is everyone doing for break?" Val piped in, bringing me back into whatever conversation they're all having. "I'm going home to Minnesota with Damian, he's second family" I never noticed how close parker and Damian were until recently. They're never without each other on campus.
"Val invited me to hers upstate, so we're not going very far." My jaw dropped at Sebastian's words. "You're meeting her parents?" I leaned forward, narrowing my eyes at him. That seemed fast, actually, I'm not sure how long it's been, but still.
"It's alright V, his parents are going over seas so I invited him to stay with us, speaking of over seas, are you going home?" The second she asked, she realized her mistake. My body froze, besides my ex, they were the last thing I wanted to talk about in front of everyone.
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. As soon as I graduated they were excited to ship me off to college and move to London. They have hardly reached out since. They have a daughter, and seem much happier without me involved in their lives. I didn't think I was that much of a problem child until I realized they started a new family.
"Adonis? Cough it up, you look like you lived in....actually that's a hard one, North Carolina?" I could feel his chest vibrating against my side, god I love his laugh. "Not quite, I grew up in Boston, I don't have plans yet, you're thinking pretty far ahead."
He was right, break was still ways away, Val is just incredibly organized, and plans her life out months in advance, i'm pretty sure she's calendared out until March next year.
"Yea yea back to my point, maybe we can all come home early and have a vacation! rent a hotel or even better we should go to a skii lodge somewhere!" The thought of spending time with everyone outside of campus seems nice, "I'm down, Val plan it all out and just count me in."
The boys started talking away about when and where, bringing Val's full planner mode out. I pulled my legs up, resting my knees on Adonis thigh. My social battery's drained, and it's dark outside, I shouldn't have taken a nap, now i'm more tired than before.
"Go to sleep, I'll make sure you get to bed." My heart warmed at his words, it shouldn't, but it did. "I'm not that tired, plus I can't sleep with all of this talking" I looked up at him, which was a big big mistake. We're inches apart, and I can't help but take him in.
His eyes are soft, something I don't see often, a lighter brown than usual. He has a few freckles scattered around his face, and stubble on his jaw. I could tell he's taking me in too, the way his eyes shift down to my lips before coming back up to meet mine. "Send everyone out to go eat or something so I don't look like the bad guy" I pleaded, not wanting to be the debby downer.
"I'm only going to help you get everyone out if you're coming with Vivian" Fuck. I really don't feel like going anywhere. "That's not fair, I'm sure you want to go to bed just as much as the rest of us" A smirk tugged at his lips, "I'm fine just where I am, hell I could sleep right here."
His hand came up and rested on my knee, his thumb rubbing small circles on the inside. "Sorry we're not accepting new roommates at this time, Val and I are booked." He cocked his head, a small smile on his lips, I wish he could act like this all the time.
"You're always invited over at mine angel, Id never say no to you." This man is crazy, truly insane. How can he go from so cold to so playful and kind in a matter of hours, hell even minutes. "Is this you inviting me to sleep with you Adonis?"
"Take it how you want to Vivian, all I was saying is you have a place to sleep if you need it." What am I going to do with this man?
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Word count: 1572!
Hey hey!! i'm finally off after 3 12hr shifts in a row, so prepare for multiple updates!
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Love,
Ash:)