♥
It's been two days since Milo left my room in an emotional panic.
I haven't heard from him since.
My heart has been breaking more and more with every second that ticks by. What has he been doing this whole time? He hasn't even had the decency to mindlink me back. They've been sending but he's refusing to respond.
Is that because he knows that there is nothing between us now? If he even kissed another guy, there is no way that I could look at him the same. Not after he came to mine and wanted to use my body instead of confiding in me.
I've barely been sleeping or eating. I can't help but think of the worst.
Viola has been keeping to my side but I don't want to talk. There is nothing to talk about. I don't want pity or sympathy right now. I've seen the way Elin and Zade have been exchanging looks as if it's their fault I've been moping around like this.
My mind aches. Why isn't he trying to get in contact with me?
Does that mean this is it? He won't even give me an explanation for what happened. I'm just meant to get on with my life like he didn't come into it and change every aspect of it. Without Milo, I feel like nothing.
Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've experienced with him.
It felt like living. The happiest I have been in my entire existence.
Everything made sense. He made sense.
I need to stop thinking about him. I've been trying to stop thinking about him for the last hour but it's impossible. No matter how hard I try, everything comes floating back to him.
Nothing has ever hurt like this. I think I'd rather take a knife to a heart than this.
At least then the suffering will be over.
It's clear which choice Milo has made.
"Nate," I hear Imogen's voice behind me as I rip my axe from a chunk of wood. My muscles ache but not enough to drown out my mate. I wipe my hand across my forehead and turn to Imogen, catching my breath. "Everett and Reign are here to see you."
My brows crease. "Why?"
She shrugs. "Not sure but they look kind of desperate."
I ignore the way my stomach flips. Of course this is going to be about Milo, probably confirming what I already know. That's why he's avoiding me.
"Alright," I rasp and drop the axe to the floor. I reach down and grab my t-shirt before sliding it over my sweaty body. "Where are they?"
"I told them to wait in the small living room," she says carefully.
I avoid her eye contact because I know she wants to see how I react but I refuse to give her that satisfaction. I'm keeping my face clear of any emotion, especially when I feel like a catastrophe of things inside.
As soon as I enter the house, I tell myself to take some deep breaths. Not to cry because I've done far too much of that the last two days and I'm sick of crying over someone who can't even respect me.
After everything that went down between us. I thought he cared about me.
I should have known better. I put myself through this pain for being so naive.
Of course he could never love me. I'm forgettable. Unimportant.
My hand presses to the handle of the small living room, I can hear voices inside and as soon as I step in, they quieten. I take in Reign first, she doesn't look great. I remember at the committee gathering, she had a funny turn.
Her skin is a lot paler than usual. Almost sickly. Even her eyes, it's like she's been fretting nonstop. I take it that she still hasn't fully recovered after the attack.
When I glance over at Everett, he looks exhausted. The redness around his eyes tells me that he hasn't slept in days and boy, do I know the feeling.
"Hi," I say shortly.
Reign steps closer, her hands laced together. "Hey," she offers me a smile but it doesn't meet her eyes. Far from it. "Have you seen Milo?"
My eyebrows press together so quickly that I flinch. "What?"
"We haven't seen him since the night of the committee party," she breathes out slowly. "W-We don't know where he is."
I shrug simply. "He came over after we were all together, he was upset and then he left. But that's when I found out he went to Apollo's sex party."
Reign turns to Everett suddenly with teary eyes. "Oh fuck."
"Did something happen to upset him?" I ask as I glance at Everett.
He buries his head into his hand. Usually he stands tall but today, he looks defeated. Even disgusted. "I said some awful things to him that night," he admits. "I was upset about Reign. I said things I didn't mean. I was projecting my fear onto him in the worst way possible."
"What did you say to him that made him that upset?" I narrow my eyes at Everett.
He shakes his head as if the memories are too painful. Jesus. What did he do?
"Please, can you just tell us about that night," he heaves. "I need to find him. I need to apologise for what I've done."
I chew on my lip and watch a tear roll down Reign's cheek. "He was really upset when he came here," I say slowly. "But things went really bad, really quickly. He was acting irrational. It wasn't until the morning that I found out about him going to Apollo's party. I haven't heard from him since."
Reign presses a hand to her forehead, ignoring the tears that coat her cheeks. "Oh god," she exhales with a wobbly voice.
"He didn't come home after... at all?" I find myself asking.
Of course I want to know. But knowing the truth might destroy me completely.
Everett shakes his head. The nausea that settled earlier is back. Does that mean he's been out this entire time with another person? Is that why he's been so damn busy... he hasn't stopped for a second to think about me.
I nod and hold my chin high, crossing my arms over my chest despite my aching heart. "I'm sure he's having fun somewhere," I blurt.
"Of course he's not having fun, Nate." Reign's eyes glitter with devastation. "He's doing this because Everett upset him, this is the last thing he wants to do but this is the only way he knows how to deal with it."
I scoff at her words and Everett scowls. "Cheating is the only way to deal with it?"
Even saying that word burns my tongue with poison.
Reign shakes her head sharply. "That's not what I meant. And we don't know what Milo has done, what's been going on with him these last couple of days. We're worried about him and his mental state, he needs us right now. I fear something terrible has happened."
A quiet sigh falls from my lips "Seems pretty clear to me what he's done. He promised me he'd never go back to one, no matter what happened. Now he's broken that, how can I trust him? I know he struggles with his addiction but I wanted to help him, talk to him. It was clear he didn't want to talk and when I didn't give him what he wanted, he seeked it from someone else."
"Milo would never cheat on you, Nate. You mean everything to him."
"Clearly not enough if he ran away to the one place that haunts me and my memories of him," I say so darkly that even Everett steps up to Reign's side. "If I meant everything to him, he would have stayed instead of running."
Reign glances at Everett, eyes falling heavy. "We need to find him. Do you know where Apollo lives?" She directs towards me.
I shrug slowly. "I've been there once but I try to ignore that night. But I can find out the location."
"He might have answers," Everett comments.
Answers that will break me down to nothing. "I'll go," I rasp with the last piece of bravery that I own. "I need to find out what happened."
Reign nods as her lips curl in a tiny smile. "Of course, we totally understand."
"Are you feeling better?" I ask.
She hums. "A little. Had to go back to the infirmary and have more medication. I should be resting but I'm worried about Milo. I just want to find him and bring him home."
"I'll let you know if I find anything out."
Everett nods in my direction but says nothing more. He places a hand to Reign's back and she whispers a small goodbye before leaving. I stare at the spots they were just occupying.
My anxiety increases at the thought of going to visit Apollo. All the secrets of the night I'm about to uncover. I have to be strong. I can't live my life like this. The sooner I know, the sooner I can attempt to get over it. If I ever get over it.
I take myself upstairs to have a long shower before I pluck up the courage to ask Elin and Zade for Apollo's address. I don't want to see him but I have to for my own sanity.
Zade writes it into my phone and asks if they should come with me. I politely decline. I have to do this by myself because I don't know what I'm going to find out. I might need some time to digest the information first.
The journey over to Apollo's house is long and agonisingly torturous. As soon as I see the house, memories come flooding back. He was here a few nights ago. What exactly was he up to? I guess I'm about to find out.
I try to control the bile that rises in my throat. But I could throw up any second.
The guards at the gate ask for my name and I tell them that I need to speak with Apollo. For a moment I don't think they're going to let me in—instead ask that I need some appointment. But to my surprise, they let me in.
A man approaches from the front doors. I presume he is the man I am after. He stares at me, I stare right back. When I pause, he meets me halfway.
"And you are?" He calls out to me.
I blink suddenly, ignoring his question I ask, "Have you seen Milo?"
Apollo snorts and then folds his arms over his chest, a smug expression on his face. Does he want a fucking punch? "Not since Saturday night."
"I need to know what happened, I haven't seen him since."
"Oh please," he heaves. "Milo was on a mad one. You're not the only person who has come back asking about him, wanting more."
My eyes narrow at him. I take a breath, trying to control my anger that is building. Boiling my blood and making me see red. Who the fuck does he think he is?
"Milo has always been popular around here, you see?" He carries on. He takes a step closer and I scowl at the action. I don't want to be anywhere near him. "But trust me, you're nothing special."
Nothing special? I can feel the beast inside me boil at the edges.
I flick my eyes between his and take down a low breath. "I'm his mate."
That knocks the foul expression right off his face. Did Milo ever tell him about me?
My nostrils flare in his direction when he says nothing more. "Where did he go after the party?" My voice is dark and gravelly.
Apollo shrugs. "Left with that guy, Henry" he mumbles. "He was pretty wasted but Henry has always had a soft spot for Milo since... forever. Knew that it would happen again."
Henry?
My teeth grind down into my jaw so quickly that it cracks loudly.
If Milo left with Henry. Let him touch my mate. Shared intimate things together.
I almost retch at the thought. Fuck. Fuck. No.
This has Apollo smirking again as he steps closer, I still don't step away. He doesn't intimidate me. He can clearly see the pain and heartbreak on my face, even though I'm trying so damn hard to mask it. "You see, Milo is a sexual being. He needs stimulation otherwise he'll seek it elsewhere. Clearly, you weren't giving him enough."
That comment sinks in my stomach like a rock. I've been fearing that for the last two days. Never good enough. Not even for my mate.
My fists itch more than ever. I could knock him out right here. But what will that achieve?
All I know is I have to find Henry because that guy is about to be ten feet under with nothing left of his face. Even if Milo wanted it, I'm still going to tear Henry apart because no one touches what's mine.
He is going to wish he never fucking crossed me.
And I'll deal with Milo after.
♥ ♥ ♥
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Author's Note
ahhhhhh there is so much to digest here😅🫣
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Nate going to see Henry??? I am so here for it🥵
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