It is commonly known that when you go drinking for the first time, you should never drink too much.
At 11:30 pm in a bar somewhere in Havana, three men who had just turned 21 went to a club.
Albert said, "Tony, you haven't even touched your drink."
Tony replied, "Aaaaaaa-h, I don't drink alcohol."
German nodded in agreement
Albert responded, "Well, alright, suit yourselves. I'm going to head over to the bartender and order a drink."
As Albert was walking to the bartender, he bumped into another table and spilled all the drinks. A group of guys who were sitting at that table stood up and started cursing at Albert.
Albert said, "Sorry. I didn't see you there. It's a little too dark for me, if you know what I mean."
Dude #1 said, "Yo, what the fuck? This gardener is fucking with us."
Albert replied, "Que?"
Dude #2 said, "Este gringo está jodiendo con nosotros."
German got up from his seat and headed towards Albert after realizing what was happening.
German said, "Look, my friend here is really drunk. Here, take a hundred for your trouble."
Albert and German started heading back to Tony.
German said, "Let's get out of here; it's getting too crowded."
The guys that Albert bumped into weren't satisfied with the hundred they were given. It seemed that if Albert and the rest stayed there any longer, it would only lead to trouble.
As the three men left the club, they ended up walking on the streets of Havana, in the dead of night.
"Dam those Cubans *hick* We came here *hick* for the *hick* Copacabana!"
"Yeah, yeah, now let's just make sure we get back to the hotel," German says to Albert.
Tony and German carry Albert by his shoulders, he's gotten himself so wasted that he can no longer stand. As they were walking, a group of men emerged from the shadows.
"Turista, ¿eh? Ustedes no deberían estar caminando por las calles a estas horas de la noche." One of the men say
"Jefe, mejor robémoslos." Another one says
"Apuesto a que ese gringo borracho tiene bastante dinero." At that comment all of them nodded in agreement.
They pull a gun out on Albert. Albert being so drunk didn't even realize it was a gun.
"¿Esa es una plátana mala, o qué?" Albert says sluggishly
"¡Es un mexicano!" They all put out their guns and shoot the three of them on the spot
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The question was posed, "If you were given the chance to be reborn in a new world, what would you want to be reborn as?"
Albert was confused at the sudden question, "what?"
After a few minutes, an explanation was given,"You have died and have been selected as a viable candidate. You are to be reincarnated in a medieval fantasy time period, where magic and sorcery rule instead of science. Do you wish to reincarnate?"
Death race across Albert's mind. He didn't wish to die, "I want to reincarnate! Please let me reincarnate!"
"Confirmed candidate willingness to participate. Please select race you wish to reincarnate."
Albert was happy practically celebrating till he realized the question inquired,"What exactly can I choose? Is there anything off the table?"
"Anything you can imagine."
Albert questioned: "Even a god?"
"No, the system will automatically balance your choice. If you choose to imagine being a god, the system will choose a race closest to what you imagined. If you imagine a race that currently has no similar counterparts, it will be created and given abilities and limitations to maintain balance in the world."
Albert realized the constant reference to a system, "So this world is not run by God but instead a system? If so is"
The System interjected,"You have ten seconds to make a selection. If you fail to make a selection, you will be turned into a black human."
Albert protested, "Wait, that's racist!"
The System counted down, "10, 9, 8..."
Albert pleaded: "Hold up, you're not giving me any time!"
The System continued the countdown: "7, 6, 5..."
Albert panicked: "Shit! I choose kitsune!"
The System confirmed, "Selection confirmed. Spawning in the forest of the Green Skins."
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System, "Would you like a second chance at life?"
Silence followed for many minutes. German said nothing, only pulled out his phone to check if it worked.
System, "You will be reincarnated in a medieval fantasy world. Please choose your desired race to be reborn as."
"My phone doesn't work..." German says sadly
System, "The host wishes for a recommendation? Processing, please wait. The system recommends the devil race."
German looked up from his phone, "Wait what?"
The system, "Failure to choose a race within 10 seconds will result in punishment."
German, "Punishment? For what?"
System, "The host is being difficult and found to be too much trouble to help. Countdown commencing: 10, 9, 8..."
German, "This system sucks. I haven't done anything!"
System, "7, 6, 5, 4..."
German, "Alright, fine. I'll go with the devil race."
System, "Selection confirmed. You will be spawning in the forest of the Green Skins."
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System, "Would you like to be a gardener once again?"
Tony, "Gardener? I was never a gardener..."
System, "You have died and now have the chance to be reborn. Please choose a race to be reborn as."
Tony, "Reborn? Wait does that mean I died?! The last thing I remember is some Cubans coming out of nowhere."
System, "You and your companions were run over. Fortunately, all of you were given the opportunity to be reborn due to all of you being selected as possible candidates."
Tony, "I can't believe it, I really died... I barely turned 21..."
System, "According to your world, you were considered a failure. You have been given the chance to change."
Tony, "Failure? My life was just starting before it was cut short! How can I be a failure before I even started!"
System, "Host is dead and has been granted the chance for a second life. Please choose a race."
Tony, "I want to live again, even if it's in a new world. I choose anything I can."
System, "You can choose anything you wish to be reborn as."
Tony, "Wait anything?! Can I say Elf and do I get the ability to talk with spirits?"
System, "Each race has its own unique abilities and limitations. Note that you will be reborn as a newborn."
Tony, "Newborn? Do you mean as a baby! Will I be even safe as a baby?"
System, "That is unknown. You have 10 seconds to choose a race."
Tony, "Can't I have more time? I don't want to make a bad decision that I will regret. Wait, will I at least keep my memories?"
System, "You and your companions will be allowed to keep your memories in exchange for [][][][][][][][][][][][][][]. 10, 9, 8, 7..."
Tony, "Wait I didn't catch that last part."
System, "6, 5, 4..."
Tony, "I chose Elf!"
System, "Selection confirmed. You will be spawned in the forest of the Green Skins."