Another day, another shift. I was up bright and early this morning, as my shift was an early one. I started work as normal, pushing what had happened the night before, between myself and Tommy to the back of my mind, I pre-occupied myself by cleaning glasses, wiping down tables, serving the odd punter that came in, before it got busy. I was slowly forgetting what happened. That was until I heard two knocks from the hatch to the snug and he peered through it, causing me to jump slightly. I didn't even see him, come through the front door. He stood there staring at me for a moment.
"Get me a bottle of whiskey and errr three glasses please". He asked. "Scotch or Irish?". I asked quite sheepish like, as I turned my attention to the bottles, not wanting to look at him. "I've decided not to go, to the races, unless you give me another two pounds and ten shillings!". I told him, as I handed him the bottle and three glasses, he requested, I did a lot of thinking, early this morning and from the way, I think my life is to be in danger at this event, the least he could do is offer me more danger money. Tommy then smiled at my remark. "I've already given you three". He said. "How much do ya pay for the suit you'll be wearing?". I asked him avoiding the subject. "Oh I don't pay for suits, my suits are on the house or the house burns down". Tommy replied. "So you want me to go, looking like a flower girl?". I asked him rhetorically. "What I want makes no difference". Tommy said. "It's not me your dressing up for". He then added.
I just smirked at him. "How's the ribs?". I asked, as I smirked giving him a cheeky wink. He said nothing, other than smile at my comment and close the hatch doors. Just then, two men joined him in the snug, as I went on to serve more punters. A few moments later, one of the men that joined Tommy, in the snug started singing, although he started singing rather in an angry tone of voice, through gritted teeth almost.
"Oh Father Why Are You so Sad?
On This Bright Easter Morning",
"Maguire, will you shut up!". The other man warned him, but the man kept on singing anyway, ignoring his friends warning.
"When Irishmen Are Proud And Glad,
Of The Land Where They Were Born",
"Maguire away and shite, were trying to talk business here". The man's friend warned again. The man began to continue singing, only this time, he was now banging his fist on the table rather loud and rather aggressive and it got louder and louder with every sentence of the song.
"Oh Son, I See Sad Memories View,
Of Far-Off Distant Days,
When Being Just A Boy Like You,
I Joined The IRA".
"Bravo". Was all Tommy said, once the man had finished. I just stood there listening in shock, until the men suddenly, emerged from the snug and made their way out of the pub. That was, until the man started singing again.
"Where Are The Lads Who Stood With Me",
"Alright boys, when I know, who knows what, about what, I'll let you know!". Tommy shouted to them both, over the noise of the man singing, as they left the pub.
"I Long To See The Boys Of The Old IRA",
The man continued, as his friend finally got him out of the building completely.
Tommy, then walked to the bar, holding up the half bottle of whiskey in his hand, whilst shaking his head, before slamming the bottle down upon the bar. "I thought you only allowed singing on a Saturday?". I asked him sarcastically. "Whiskey is good proofing water". He said, as he kept glancing towards his lit cigarette. "Tell's you who's real and who isn't". He continued. "And what did those two men want?". I asked. "Oh, their nobodies, they drink in the Black Swann in Sparkbrook, they're only rebels because they like the songs". He said.
"Thought you didn't like the Irish, so you have sympathies with them now do ya?". I asked. "I have no sympathies of any description". He replied. "Except when it comes to leaving a scared young woman a note on her door step apologising". I smirked, making him smirk back. "You got it then?". He asked rhetorically. I nodded my head slowly. "Well then, I meant every word of it". He said, as he lit yet another cigarette in his mouth, whilst lifting his head and staring directly into my eyes, making me do the same to his, I then looked away. "Their accents were so thick, it's amazing that you could understand 'em". I said, changing the subject about the letter. "I could give it a go next time if you like, for we had a load of thick Irish accent men, come into the Peacock every once in a while, as they used to come to England, looking for work and they would find some, on the shipyards in Sunderland". I added.
"You'd work for me?". Tommy asked, a little shocked. "I thought I already was?". I smirked. "So you are coming to the races?". He asked. "Two pound, ten shillings". He added, as he then fished in his pocket for some notes and money. "Ten shillings". He said as he slapped the notes and a couple of coins, down on to the pub counter top. "Make sure you wear red, to go with his handkerchief". He then added, as he began to walk away. "Who's handkerchief?!". I called out after him, but got no repsonse. The day continued and it was the same old, same old, a little boring today, if you ask me.
Before I knew it, my shift was over luckily for me, it was when it was still light outside, so I needn't worry about walking home, in the dark alone, or so I thought it would be alright. I was about two minutes from home, when I heard the shuffling of feet behind me, only to find one drunken man stumbling around behind me, no one else was around, as I had taken the back alley way to get home, as it was a little quicker than, the main road way. I chose to ignore him and go about just concentrating on getting home. It wasn't until the man drunkenly cat called me, so stupid me stopped to turn around to see if it was me, who he was talking too.
I then ran to hide behind a wall, as I was still a little away from home and I didn't want him knowing where I lived, if he followed me. Just when I thought the coast was clear, the man came out of nowhere and grabbed me and placed his hand over my mouth and dragged me down the alley way. At that moment all I could think of was, oh god please not again, wasn't once enough, please don't let it happen to me again. The man then slammed me up against the wall. I wanted to desperately to call for help, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth, I was so scared of what he might do.
"Fancy me do ya?". He slurred into my ear. I noticed right away, that he was Irish from his accent. "What are you, a copper?". He then asked again, rather angrily. I then frightenedly, slapped him across the face hoping that, that would allow me to escape, but it didn't work. It only made him tighten his grip and slap me back twice as hard, the sting of the slap burned my cheek and made my eyes water. "English whore!". He screamed in my face. "I've seen ya, I've seen ya face, serving at the Garrison, your with that Tommy Shelby fellow aren't ya?". He asked, but I didn't respond, as he now had a hold of my jaw in his hand. "Come 'ere". He said, as he now had a small pistol held up to my face. "Well I quite fancy meself a redhead and I'm going to take Tommy Shelby's bird and stuff it with my big fat cock!". He seethed through his teeth. "Whether she likes it or not!". He smirked. I then kneed him in the bollocks and tried my hardest to get the gun off him, incase if I ran away he would try and shoot me.
Just then, a loud gun shot pierced through my ear drums. And the man then grunted in pain, until he finally slammed against the wall and then slumped down it, before lying on the ground...dead. I stood there in shock, my breathing becoming irractic, oh my god, I've just killed someone, what the hell am I going to do. I thought to myself. I then, with the gun still clasped in my hand ran home and not stopping until I got all the way there, regardless whether I was out of breath or not.
Luckily for me, no one was home. I just stood at the front window, staring out into nothing. Thunder started to rumble in the sky, bringing me out of my shocked thoughts. I then, ran to my dad's drink cabinet and grabbed the first bottle, I could lay my hands on and took a great big swig of it, to help calm my nerves. Now I don't normally drink, but I can say that, whatever the liquid was, satisfyingly burned my throat, helping me to take my mind of what had just happened, moments ago.
I then, ran out to the netty regardless of the rain pouring it down, to go and be sick, for my stomach was doing flips. I then stopped being sick and wiped my mouth, only for a metallic taste to enter it. I looked down to see my hand that I held the gun with, to be covered in the man's blood. I quickly ran back inside dripping wet from the rain, the little fly aways of my hair sticking to my face, as I went and washed it off in the kitchen sink. After I had washed it off, I then went out into the little plot of garden we had, at the bottom of the yard and checked to make sure no one was peering over their yard walls, before I buried the pistol, so hopefully no one would ever find it, as no one ever really plants anything in here anyway.
After that was done, I went back inside and grabbed the glass, from off the little coffee table and took another swig, of the drink I was drinking. Soaking wet and starting to shiver, from the winter air and rain, I decided to go upstairs and have a lie down, to hopefully help with the headache, that was coming on. I got so far into my room, only to stop and stare at the bright red dress, I had hung up on the wardrobe ready for the races. Oh, what is Tommy going to think and should I tell him. I thought to myself.
After I had a lie down and I tried my best to have a bite to eat, I woke up to still being home alone, it was still light outside, by this point. The lads, must be doing another late shift at the pit tonight, as they have been gone since half six this morning. I was just sitting in front of the fire reading, when I got a knock at the door, at first I thought it was the police and that someone had saw me, kill that man. I slowly walked towards the door. "Who is it?". I called out. "It's me, it's Harry". Harry replied from the other side. I opened door to reveal him standing there. "Hiya Harry, what's up?". I asked him, trying to not look guilty of anything. "Hiya, I was just wondering if you could do an extra shift tonight, if that's alright with you, just I've got to go out and I know it's short notice, but I'll pay you extra". Harry asked. I took a moment, before I answered, then it hit me that if I were to do this, then I will be able to get an alibi for my whereabouts, if anything shall come of the man's murder enquiry.
"Alright, I'll do it". I replied. "When do you want me for?". I added. "Now if it's possible". Harry said. I didn't say anything, other than nod my head, as I ventured further back inside the house, to retrieve my coat and my bag. I then made sure the house was secure, by locking the door and then began to walk down the road, with Harry. I said goodbye to Harry, he walked off once I got to the doors of the Garrsion, as he kindly walked me there, before he left to do what he needed too. It was busy tonight, but not to busy, where I was rushed off my feet.
A few men, were still finishing their drinks. I collected the glasses and wiped down the tables and the bar and just as I was about to go out the back. In walks Ada, Tommy's sister and the second youngest Shelby. She seems almost flustered and in a hurry, as though she had been running around and was out of breath. She came over to me, heavily panting and out of breath. "Have you seen Freddie Thorne?". She asked me. "No". I replied. "Or Tommy, ahhhh!". She asked again, only this time she seemed in pain, whilst clutching her heavily swelled stomach.
I remembered, Tommy telling me she was pregnant, so I quickly ran over to the tap and poured her a glass of water, for her to drink. "I have to find Freddie". She told me. "Drink this first". I told her, as I handed her the glass. "No I have to find them, I think their going to kill each other". She protested, as she pushed the drink away from her. My heart then began to race, who's going to kill who, I thought to myself, not Tommy I hope, dear god please don't let it be him, I thought to myself. "Wait, who's going to kill who?". I asked her. "T-t-tommy and Fred, ahhhh!". She replied, but never got to finish, as a pain shot through her body. We talked for a while about certain things, once I knew she was definitely alright and that she wasn't going to have the baby early, I asked. "Are you alright to go home?". She didn't say anything other than nod her head. "Right, here's what I want ya to do, I want you to gan home and rest, take your mind off Tommy and Freddie and I'll see what I can find out alreet". I told her.
"Okay". Was all she said, as she then walked herself home. About half an hour later, someone walked through the doors, head low and the peaked cap covering his face, my breath hitched in my throat, my heart starting racing, hoping and praying it was him, the figure then walked slowly towards the bar and my heart began to sink, as I knew Tommy always went into the snug out the way. That was until, that figure walked right into the snug and I breathed out a sigh of relief and slowly followed him. I stood staring at him for a moment. Cigarette in his mouth, as he took of his cap and suit jacket and sat down in the chair. I then, decided to let him know I was there.
"Your sister was here". I told him. He said nothing, other than sigh heavily. "She was worried bout you and Freddie and it made her sick, she's alright but in 'er condition she needs peace". I told him, but he chose to ignore me and continued to pour himself a whiskey. "Women talk". I added. "That's something they do". He then said, in his low gruff voice, as he took a cigarette from the packet and put it in his mouth. "She talked about you, she said you keep everything bottled up". I replied. "Well, that's what men do". He said, as he put the match out what he lit his cigarette with. "Ya sister's nice, I like ah". I told him. "It can't be easy for ah though, having ah brother and ah husband, fighting our the same thing". I said.
He didn't say anything, other than take a sip of his whiskey, before putting the glass back down on the table. "Men should talk too". I said softly. He then shot his head up and looked directly at me this time. "To you?". He said. I stood there a little taken back, by his comment. "Why not, I'm a barmaid, it's me job". I told him. "Men are always telling their troubles to a barmaid". I added. "What is it you and Freddie are fighting our?". I asked him. He didn't answer me, he looked as though he was about too, but then choose not too, as he then, sprung up off the back of his seat and grabbed the newspaper and began to read it, as he cleared his throat.
"I'll meet you here at nine'o'clock tomorrow morning". He told me. "Did you buy a dress?". He then asked, as he took the time to look up from the paper to look at me. "Aye, of course I bought a dress". I told him. "How does it look?". He asked me, as I stood there beginning to blush, a bit embarrassed at him, thinking how the dress would look on me. I just stood there and smiled and nodded at him, as I didn't know what to say. Then, I went back to my shift and left him to sit in peace. He left a short while after and to my surprise, it wasn't long before my shift was due to end. When the time came, I had locked up and tidied up and hurried home, this time making sure to not take any short cuts home. I got home quickly and said hello to the boys, who were sat at the kitchen table, eating their food I had prepared earlier on.
"Off to bed pet?". Dad asked. "Aye, it's been a bloody long day I tell ya". I said, as I took off my coat and put my bag down. "Good shift?". I asked them. "Aye it was alreet, wasn't it Jimbo?". Dad said. "Nah, that Mr Hallister is a fucking bastard!". Jimmy said. "I hate being on shift when he's in!". He added. "Why, what did he do?". I asked, as I leant against the wall and crossed my arms over my chest. "He macks me clean the fuckin' hos'es out and give them fresh hay and all sorts, macks is get 'im a cuppa tea all the time anarl, doesn't even teach me nowt about being a blacksmith". He said. "Well maybe he's slowly ganna show you stuff, you've arneley been working there, for a few weeks now man give it time!". Dad told him.
I just laughed and and shook my head and walked off, as I went into my desk draw and got my diary out and then headed up stairs. "Goodnight!". I shouted down to them both. "Neet!". They both shouted in unison. I then, walked into my room and closed the door behind me, as I sat down on my bed and turned on the gas lamp. I then, opened my diary and began scribbling again.
It's me again,
Tomorrow is the day, I don't know whether to laugh, cry or be sick.
I just hope I'm not going to get myself into any danger.
But we shall wait and see.
Wish me luck.
I then closed my diary and placed it on the bedside table and got my pyjamas on and went to bed. However, I tossed and turned all night and anxiety started to take over my body. My heart started beating fast, my mind started over thinking about certain things, the shooting of that man, the reason behind Tommy wanting to take me to the races in the first place and before I knew it, the light was starting to shine through the curtains and it woke me up.