Dz, Demeter, Karsh, and Zyggy are the original characters of TikTok creator Ishness.
DZ
The familiar jolt of returning to the front was counterbalanced by someone shoving us backwards. I stumbled, barely managing to keep us from falling. Before I could get my bearings, a raspy female voice with the accent of the Ishness capital city was accosting me.
"Aye, I thought that would bring out the Big Bad Boy," she leered. "You can't possibly be scared of me, eh?"
In her infinite wisdom, Demeter had advised keeping a low profile after everything that had happened with Host. So, instead of matching the stranger's energy, I bit the inside of my cheek so hard it bled, muttering a quick apology as I attempted to pass her.
She stepped with me, keeping herself stubbornly in my path.
I stared down at the angry entity incredulously. She was short and stocky, the top of her curly-haired brunette head well below my chin. Light hazel eyes with goat's pupils were narrowed on my face. Smooth caramel skin blended with sleek patches of bronze scales, giving her a natural armor I would have admired if we'd met in less aggressive circumstances. She wore faded black leather pants and vest, baring her well-muscled arms. A warning, I thought briefly. She'd prefer to be seen as a threat.
"Look, I don't know you," I said, averting my eyes. "And I don't know why you're pissed, so--"
The stranger planted her hands on my chest and shoved again, but this time I was ready. Gritting my teeth, I allowed myself to take one step back in order to keep the peace and make her feel like she'd won.
"Like fuck you're going to just walk away," she snapped. "I have things to say to you, Pain-Eater." The last two words came out in a venomous hiss, forked tongue darting from between her teeth.
I swallowed the rage that threatened to boil up and out from deep in my gut.
"I never wanted that name," I said quietly.
"Oh no?" She crossed her arms, pleased that she'd trapped me into a conversation. "What else didn't you want? A lovable alter ego? Free access to our home despite being human? An ability most of us would kill for?"
I clenched my jaw. Her words cut deep, but I knew better than to let it show. I had spent so little time in Ishness lately, I'd almost forgotten how the entities saw me. How strongly they resented me. How angry they were that I couldn't help them.
"Well?" The stranger's voice cracked. Suddenly, she sounded exhausted, weak. I heard the little girl inside her mind, tired of having to stand up for herself. "Why are you so fucking special."
Her fire had burnt down to embers, but still I felt anger and pain rolling off her in waves. I wanted nothing more than to tap into her mind, become whatever she wanted, and take her hurt away. Like I had done for so many humans, so many times before.
But I couldn't.
Thankfully, no one else was in the town square this early. The dawn mist was just beginning to break, revealing an ancient, intricate pattern of cobblestones under our feet. A few moments passed while the entity caught her breath and I stared at my boots.
"What's your name?" I asked suddenly, surprising myself.
I raised my eyes from the ground to meet her gaze. Now that I was truly seeing her, I could tell she was tired. There were bags under her eyes. Her frayed vest had been mended and patched a dozen times over. Her scales were veined with a sickly yellow tinge. The hard muscles roping her arms told me that she'd had to fight for everything she had, and what she had wasn't much.
"Aveshra," she whispered.
Cautiously, I lifted a hand and rested it on her scaled shoulder.
Before I could say anything, she whipped around and stalked across the square, disappearing into a narrow alleyway. I stared after her until long after the market's vendors began to arrive and set up for the day.
EL
"Believe it or not, I've never been to one of these before."
I jumped in my seat at the sound of Dz's deep voice rumbling like thunder in the silent movie theater. I turned to see his familiar pale face, glowing in the reflected light of the wall-sized screen.
He flashed me a quick wink. "Well, not that I remember, anyway."
I was prepared to hiss at him to shut up when I remembered that I'd picked a matinee for a reason. We were the only ones there. Trying to mask my surprise at his sudden appearance, I shifted gears.
"Should have brought Karsh," I muttered. "So he could check another thing off his list of Weird Human Stuff To Try."
"I mean," Dz drawled, "The darkness makes sense. Restricting your sensory intake so you have no choice but to focus on the story. You humans are so easily distracted, after all." He leaned back and propped his feet up on the headrest to my left, positioning them just perfectly so that a heavy black boot invaded my peripheral vision. He continued. "Karsh would probably have some egghead comment on this form of escapism. Me... I'm just excited for the chase scenes."
Lips pressed tightly together, I tried to focus on the screen. Even though I categorically hated previews, I still wanted to avoid giving Dz the satisfaction of knowing he was annoying me.
"So... you came alone?" Dz asked casually.
I nodded and then risked a quick glance over my shoulder. His eyes were trained on the giant flashing images advertising the next big buddy comedy. A few moments later, he scoffed and waved a careless hand at the screen.
"This is what passes for humor these days?"
"I thought you said you'd never been to a movie theater before," I responded automatically before remembering I was trying to play it cool.
Somehow, I heard his lips pull back from his fangs into a smirk, pleased that he'd managed to engage me in conversation.
"Never been to a movie theater, doesn't mean I've never seen a movie," he retorted as the ratings screen for the next trailer glowed green. "You do a lot of things by yourself, don't you, El?"
I rolled my eyes and raised my voice to be heard over the guns and shouting of the action movie being advertised. "Just spit it out, Dz. What, you're gonna say I spend too much time alone? That I need to make friends? You know I don't date, so--"
He cocked one ankle to the side, tapping my temple lightly with his boot.
"Do you mind? I'm trying to watch."
I fumed, ripping open my box of Junior Mints so quickly that they flew into the air and scattered across the next two rows.
I forced myself to take a deep, slow breath, not bothering to raise my voice. He'd hear me.
"Don't. Say. A word."
I had to endure several seconds of cackling before Dz, gripping the two seats to my left, vaulted over them and plopped down next to me, legs sprawling out in a man-spread.
"I know dating isn't your thing, El. And I'm the last guy to encourage someone to be more social."
"Then what?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"I just..." Low, ominous rumbles from a single cello spooled from the speakers. The horror movie I had actually come to see was finally starting, and the opening notes of the soundtrack began to build the desired suspenseful atmosphere. "I needed to get away. And see a friend." He paused. "A human friend."
I was touched. Dz and I had been friends for months, but he almost never came to me with his problems. The number of times I'd called for him when I was sad or lonely or angry... my annoyance at him evaporated and was replaced with an uneasy guilt, then warmth--it was nice to hear that he needed me, too.
"Well," I said slowly, "Did something happen? Or is it more of that--" I crooked my fingers into air quotes that I knew his supernatural eyes would see, even in the dark. "--'confidential mission' thing that kept you so busy a few months ago?"
"It's not that," he said tersely. "It's--well, it's not, but it's related, I guess. But also... not."
I stayed quiet, letting his awkward explanation fade gently into the movie's opening scene. We watched in silence as the killer's nameless first victim realized she was hopelessly trapped, big blue eyes widening in fear as she let out a shriek and turned to run. After an intense orchestral swell and a cartoonishly girly scream, the opening scene transitioned to the protagonist's sunny bedroom, where she woke with a start.
I glanced over at Dz. His lips were pursed stubbornly. Clearly counting on me to drag him kicking and screaming into emotional vulnerability, he cleared his throat loudly.
I burst out laughing. "No thanks. I want to support you, but I'm past the point of dragging information out of people like I'm pulling teeth. You'll tell me if you want to."
"I hate this."
Such a whiny tone coming from Dz almost made me snort, but I swallowed it. "I know."
"Zyggy's better at this stuff, can't--"
"No," I interrupted. "These are your feelings, not his. Don't put it on him."
My companion sighed and kicked his boots up on the seat in front of him. He stretched one long arm down to wipe off a fleck of dust from the toe.
Allowing myself to gently nudge him one more time, I murmured softly. "You know I see you."
Dz's supernatural white eyes burned into mine, glowing in the near-dark of the theater. The shifting shadows and light projected onto the screen reflected beautiful patterns on his pale gray skin.
"Something happened yesterday," he said quietly. "In Ishness. Some random..." He shook his head, then corrected himself. "Not random. Aveshra. An entity named Aveshra. She confronted me in the street." He swallowed hard enough that I could see his Adam's apple bob in his throat. "She was... upset."
"Why?"
Dz sighed. "It wasn't so much why she was upset, but more what she said."
I frowned. Words, hurt Dz? The one who threw sarcasm and playful (sometimes not-so-playful) insults around like they were nothing?
I watched the gears turning as he became acclimated to the act of sharing, of metaphorically stripping away his walls. It seemed as though he was rolling each word around on his tongue to feel its weight before releasing it from his lips. To test if it was something that could be used against him later.
"She called me something. An old nickname, from when my abilities first became... obvious." His upper lip curled into a sneer. "After the first human I helped."
The young woman on the screen had just tripped over her own feet and into the strong arms of a mysterious man. The resulting on-screen silence perfectly aligned with the pause in Dz's story.
"Her name was Katya," he whispered, so quiet I had to strain to hear him. "Katya Renee. Dirty blonde hair. Green eyes. All angles. Rough around the edges. Didn't take shit." His lips curved into a faint nostalgic smile. "She'd just lost her sister; she needed an outlet for..." he shrugged. "Afterwards, when I was finally back in Ishness..." He took a deep breath. "It felt like I'd been tossed around in a tumble dryer. Fuck, I haven't thought about that in ages."
Cautiously, I adjusted my position to face him more fully. The movie would be on a streaming service soon enough; it could wait.
"It was a Tuesday," Dz murmured. "She'd come out for a smoke. I bumped into her on the sidewalk outside her office building. Said I was sorry. She said she didn't need an apology, but did I have a minute?" Seemingly unconsciously, he reached a large hand up to rub his jaw, fingers and palm muffling his voice. "Even as I turned around, I thought, 'what the fuck am I doing? Ignore her.' But I didn't. I turned, and suddenly my eyes were brown. Hair so dark it was almost black. The perfect five o'clock shadow; a crooked smirk with a broken nose."
I stared at him, mouth agape. "A broken nose?" I echoed.
He chuckled. "Yeah."
"Did you feel it break?"
"Yeah. But it was more of a surprise than anything else. We've had a broken nose before."
"When you..." I hesitated, looking for the right word. "...change... do you know who you become?"
He shrugged. "I don't 'become' anyone. They're not real, the faces I take on. They're just... amalgamations. Collections of traits from people in their life. Eye color from this person, hair from another. It took Demeter and I months to piece it all together. To figure out where each physical trait came from."
"Why did it matter?" I murmured.
"It didn't. Doesn't. But no entity had ever done something like it before. We didn't know what was important and what was not; we didn't know if it was safe, if it would happen again. If I'd ever be able to control it. So we holed ourselves up in her chambers. Karsh brought us tea every few hours." Dz barked a short laugh. "The broken nose reminded Katya of her dad, Mark. He'd gotten punched in the face one night, defending his brother from some assholes outside a club. Mark died a few years after that. Katya was..." he frowned, reaching for the detail. "Sixteen."
"How did you learn all that?" I whispered, entranced.
"All at once," he said curtly. "It comes in a flood. Right when I change."
"Her whole life story?"
"No. Just... snapshots." He jerked his chin towards the massive reflective screen on which the movie was unfolding its narrative. "Like a series of images, flashing on a screen."
I let out a low whistle. "This happens every time? How do you process it all?"
He shrugged. "I usually don't. Not anymore. I tried to, for a while. I obsessed over it. Who had I become for these people? What did I mean to them? What--who--did I remind them of?" I watched as two black pupils bloomed in his eyes for just a moment before disappearing again with a vigorous shake of his head. My heart warmed at the realization that Zyggy was here too, comforting his friend from behind the veil.
"I left Katya's the next morning and went straight to Demeter." Dz cleared his throat. "For people who need to be seen, even for one night. For people so close to drowning in their hurt that they can barely keep their heads above water. I help them out of it. I take their pain away. Or at least, lighten the burden long enough for them to figure out how to carry it themselves."
"What a..." I struggled to find the word. Boon? Gift? Talent? Skill? "An asset." My thoughts were racing, tripping over each other in a disorganized rush. "I mean, I know that's kind of a cold way of looking at it, but... it's incredible. That you've been doing that. I mean, I knew you were, but to hear about the first time, it's--"
"Yeah, well," Dz interrupted, shifting in his seat. "Everyone else thought so, too. A fighter? Someone who can read emotions, a surefire cure for others' pain? And all in one package." I watched him reach into his inner breast pocket for the pack of cigarettes that lived there, then swore when he remembered where he was and returned his hand to the armrest. "It wasn't too long before they put me in a room with an entity. She was suffering, like Katya. I can't remember why. I don't think she'd lost anyone. She was just..." he shrugged. "Sad. And I sat with her for hours." His face scrunched up as if he'd tasted something sour. "It was awful."
"Why?" I asked, surprised.
"Because nothing happened. It didn't matter how long we were together, or how long we stared at each other's faces. It didn't matter if I held her hand, if we talked, if we got to know each other. I didn't change. Nothing came to me. No flashes on the screen. This asset--" I flinched guiltily at his use of my word, how much harsher it sounded in his mouth-- "It doesn't work on entities."
The nostalgia in his voice had been replaced with bitterness. "So they turned on me. I still had Demeter and Karsh, and of course I was more than capable of defending myself, but..." He sniffed with disdain. "Suddenly, I wasn't a part of their world anymore. Because I couldn't give them what they wanted. I was just a human who'd somehow managed to become an entity and all I did, I did for humans. I was selfish. I was heartless. I was a predator."
"What was it?" I breathed. "The name Aveshra used?"
Dz turned, his gaze meeting mine evenly. I could tell he was searching my face for any hint of disgust, rejection, fear, but I didn't react. I knew he wouldn't find any.
"Pain-Eater."
Pain-Eater. I repeated the title in my head. It was intense, like Dz. But it didn't fit him. It was all about his ability. His shadow. It left no room for his softness or the care he felt for others--and not just for his inner circle, but all the humans whose lives he touched in one way or another.
No, it wasn't right at all.
My friendship with Dz was unlike any other, but we were close enough for me to know he had a heart. And after hearing about his ability... that, more than anything else, convinced me that each human connection was real for him. No matter how fleeting. Pain-Eater was for the version of Dz the entities had imagined to distract themselves from the pain that he couldn't help them. Not in the way they wanted, anyway.
While I was lost in thought, Dz had turned back to watch the protagonist settle in for the night, turning off lights and shutting blinds. I turned back to the screen as well, but moved my hand to rest it palm-up on the armrest between us. Dz took it silently. We stayed like that for the rest of the movie as I processed what I'd heard and tried wordlessly to be there for him in the dark of the theater.