Ziyi was surprised when Yibo arrived at their house at around half past seven in the evening.
"Sir! Come in..."
"I won't take long, Ziyi. I'll just ask if Zhan is there?"
Ziyi's eyebrows met. "N-no, sir. Isn't he in your townhouse?"
"He's not in the unit, Ziyi. I've been waiting for him for three hours. Do you know where he's gone?"
She heard the concern in WYB's voice and shook her head. "I also passed by the townhouse earlier. But the guard said that there was no one there. I even thought that maybe he went just shopping."
"He's got all his things with him, Ziyi." Yibo speak worriedly. Except for the money he left earlier, it's still in the dresser.
"I spoke to him twice on the phone this morning, Sir. The first time was when I told him about his termination letter. The last time was when I accepted Alen's dismissal. I asked him what happened. He was crying when he answered the phone."
Yibo groaned. "He probably thought his termination came from me." Yibo closed his eyes.
Damn you, Zhany! I thought we agreed to come and talk to each other when there was a problem...
"Maybe it is. I was thinking about the same too. Because Sir Haikuan said the order is from the higher up." Ziyi said.
"I just came from the office, and I had the guard open your filing cabinet. I even opened your computer. Except for the address of his former boarding house, there is nothing there, no information in where I can find on him." Yibo's shoulders sagged.
Ziyi thought WYB aged ten years at that moment. Then he looked at her again.
"Where shall I find him, Ziyi?" he asked helplessly.
Ziyi thought for a moment. "Isn't it possible he goes back to his province?"
"I thought about that while I was on my way here. But where is his province? He doesn't have his province address in file."
"In Chongqing, WYB. In Chongqing! Zhan's aunt is there."
Chongqing. Zhan mentioned it once when they were eating. Why didn't he think of that right away?
"B-but where in Chongqing, Sir?"
Yibo took a deep breath. "It's up to the people I'm going to pay to find the place. At least, I know where to find even if I search all over Chongqing," he said determinedly.
❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️
When such a month, the sedges bloom. The white flowers of cogon covered the whole hill and wasteland which looked like snow. And it dances in the wind.
Zhan's eyes were focused on it, although he couldn't see anything. It's been a month since he returned to their old house. He did not accept his aunt's offer to stay with them.
He also cleaned the whole house for a few days. His three younger cousins helped him in arranging and cleaning. And so is his childhood friend Darren. One of these days he will look for a job in town or somewhere near them. He will never return to Beijing. Again a sharp pain in his chest at the thought of it. It's been a month, but he can't get Yibo out of his mind despite what he thinks Yibo hurt him.
"You're thinking under the tree again," said Darren who silently approached him. "What exactly is your problem, ZhanZhan?"
Zhan looked at the source of the deep voice. His childhood friend Darren.
That's what his friends called him. Even his parents and relatives. But the name Yibo calls him is sweeter to his ears.
Zhany.
Zhan hid the pain and smiled at his friend. "You went for a walk, Darren?"
Darren never stopped writing to him when he was in Beijing even though he told him he already had a boyfriend. It's Alen then.
Darren is a handsome man and maybe only three years older than him. His parents owned an orchard and a private beach, Darren is from a good family. They might have become lovers if Zhan had stayed here and didn't leave for Beijing.
"I brought you some fresh fish. A boat landed earlier this morning when Dad and I delivered goods in the market. I'll help you grill it for lunch."
Why is his stomach suddenly feeling like he wants to puke?
"And this jackfruit, it's ripe. Look at it and it's splitting. Do you want me to cut it for you?"
Zhan looked down to a large and ripe jackfruit. That's where the smell that attacked his stomach came from. "T-thank you, Darren. B-but I hope you didn't bother anymore." Why does he suddenly not like the smell of ripe watermelon? "I haven't even touched the fruits you brought-" he couldn't finish what he had to say. Shutting his mouth and running on the grass to vomit.
Darren followed and caressed his back. Darren handed him a handkerchief he carried in the back pocket of his pants.
"Thank you..." Zhan returned to the bamboo seat under the tree again. Darren was next, staring at him intently.
"I've noticed how many times you've been sick in the past week, ZhanZhan..."
"I-it's nothing, Darren." In fact this was the third time he felt nauseous in a week. Except that he gets dizzy every time he wakes up in the morning. Zhan was suddenly nervous as a sudden thought came into his mind. Eyes averted from Darren.
"Don't deny it, Zhan." Darren said. "My sister was like that when she conceived her first child."
Zhan could not answer, please don't let their suspicions be true! He can't be pregnant,
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Darren asked again.
Zhan shook his head hysterically and ended up whimpering. Darren sat beside him worriedly.
"Don't cry, ZhanZhan. Whatever your problem is, I'm here." Darren grabbed his palm and squeezed it.
Zhan's sobs only got louder. He is a boy and pregnant without a husband! What will he do?
"ZhanZhan, crying too much might be bad for you. Whatever happens I'm ready to help... in any way," Darren repeated.
"Thank you, Dareen, but there's nothing you can do." Zhan wiped away the tears with his hand.
"The father, where is he?" Darren asked hesitantly.
"We're s-separated." Zhan chest wanted to burst at the answer.
What Yibo and he did paid off! He has their future child in his womb.
"Does he know?" Darren asked.
Zhan shook his head.
"He has the right to know, ZhanZhan," Darren said. "Let him know."
"He will not accept, Darren," Zhan answered bitterly. If he was fired from work what more the baby in his stomach?
"You haven't tried yet," Darren insisted. "The father doesn't know your condition. What if he doesn't want to leave you?"
Zhan smile at Darren bitterly. "I'm sure he won't accept our future child, Darren. Don't push it."
Darren faced him and held him in both hands. "Listen, ZhanZhan. I will help you as much as I can. And I am also ready to take responsibility for your child and take him as my own..."
Zhan quickly shook his head at the same time as his eyes widened slightly. "W-why would you do that?"
"You know why, ZhanZhan. Because I've always loved you," Darren said sincerely.
"I-I'm not the same anymore, Darren. You're the one who suspects that I'm pregnant..." Zhan said in a raspy voice.
Darren let out a long sigh. "I love you, ZhanZhan. It doesn't matter what happened to you in Beijing."
"I won't allow you to marry me, Darren. I-I don't want to. What will people say to you?"
"People won't know you're pregnant. Besides, you don't have a choice because later on your stomach will become big and you will be shamed for this town," Darren said with reason in a determined tone.
"Think of your status during the nine months of your pregnancy. The whole town will talk about you. Even your aunt will be ashamed. And what about the child you will give birth to in this small town, ZhanZhan? People will curse him until in his growth."
Confused, Zhan withdrew his hand and cupped his face while softly crying.
"I want to take what you're carrying, ZhanZhan. I love you and I'm ready to do that. But before that, I want you to go to Beijing again to tell the father's and make sure if he will take the responsibility for the child or not."
Zhan raised his head in confusion. "What for?"
"So that there is no one to blame in the end. When I claim the child, it's mine," Darren said firmly. "He's going to have my name. And I don't want in the later days some other guy is going to come here and say he has a right to the child. And you'll regret later that you didn't let him know.
"And I still don't want you to have doubts during the time we are together that what would happen if you informed the father of your child about your condition? What would he do?" Darren has a reasonable statement.
"Oh, Darren! I don't know what to do..."
"I'm going to marry you. I love you and I know you know that. But I want you to be mine in a clear manner."
"E-even-If don't love you?"
Darren takes a deep breath. "Sometimes there are things that are more than worldly love. It is the trust and respect and responsibility. After all, that partnership is more successful especially if the love gradually sprouts and is cultivated."
"Why don't you look for another one to love you, Darren? You deserve to be loved. Why don't you turn your love to someone else?" asked Zhan sadly.
"I can't feel the love that I have for you, ZhanZhan," Darren said accompanied by a sigh and a glance at him. "It's not because I didn't try. It just so happens that you're still here in my heart. And now that there's a slight hope that you'll be with me, I'll take the chance."
Zhan didn't move immediately. Thinking carefully about what Darren says. No sane one would refuse Darren. Many of his friends back then liked Darren. And now he deeply regrets liking Alen.
His life would not have been this complicated. He wouldn't have known Yibo... He stopped thinking there and shook his head secretly. He will never regret meeting and loving Yibo. Never.
Even if he dies and comes back to life, he will still love Yibo. And he had in his womb his most precious memory from Yibo, no matter how selfish that view was.
His innocent baby will be born in this world not recognize by his own father because he did not let Yibo know of his existence. Just because he put aside his moral views! And he will also include Darren in the mess of his life because he will take the responsibility for his child. What if he can't learn to love Darren even a little?
But Darren right. Regardless of the circumstances, it is Yibo's right to know about their child. Even if Yibo rejected it, at least he did let him know.
"I'll go with you to Beijing tomorrow, ZhanZhan," Darren said as he thought.
"Why tomorrow?"
"I won't wait for your belly to get bigger before we get married..."
"I-I still don't agree to marry you," Zhan said weakly. Although he knew Darren was right.
Zhan couldn't be selfish again as to think of himself only... of his own feelings for Yibo. If for his child sake, he will marry Darren.
"I-I love the father of the one I'm carrying, Darren. W-what if I can't forget him over time?"
Darren smiled bitterly. "Time doesn't heal anything, ZhanZhan. No matter how deep the wound." Darren looked up at the branches of the trees and filled his chest with air.
"Tomorrow morning I'll pick you up."
Zhan reluctantly nodded. He was already nervous in what will happen once he face Yibo in Beijing tomorrow.