elizabeth mathews was a rule abiding girl. she stayed out of trouble and kept quiet. or maybe that wasn't the case anymore.
she blamed the shepards. they enticed her with excitement.
she crept her way through the hallway of her small home, dreading waking up her brother. who knows how long he'd been home, or asleep. who knows whether he was waiting for her to get home so he could scold her.
who knows.
the door to two-bit's bedroom was ajar, and ellie could feel her heart sinking to her stomach, lower and lower by the second. she walked up to the door and slowly pushed it further open, prompting a long, taunting squeak from it.
drawing a sharp breath in, ellie squeezed through the small gap between the doorway and the door that she created for herself.
there he was, sprawled out across his bed, still dressed and everything. it was odd. the usual beer bottles weren't scattered around his room, but instead, his ashtray was full and his lighter lay beside him.
ellie walked up to the sleeping figure and shook his shoulder gently. "two-bit? two?" she shook his shoulder a little harder. "c'mon, two, wake up."
two-bit groaned and rolled over. "what do ya want, elle? leave me alone."
ellie's eyes softened and she pursed her lips together. "two-bit, ya gotta get up. tim shepard wants to talk to you. i wouldn't keep him waitin', with the state he's in. he ain't too happy."
his eyes opened slowly and he looked at his sister. he shot up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a bear hug. "jesus christ, ellie! where've ya been? i was worried sick about you—wait, what time is it?"
ellie winced. "one a.m.... sorry to wake you, but tim's on our front porch as we speak. he told me to come get you."
two-bit's face grew stern. "one a.m.? as in, 'one in the morning?' ellie, what the hell are you doin' out at one a.m.? you ain't hurt, are you?" he grabbed her face and started scanning for any injuries. he sighed once he realized she was completely okay. "what the hell's wrong with you, ellie, what if something happened?"
"you don't even know where i was," she retorted.
"okay, then spill it. where were you, and why the hell is tim shepard looking for me at one in the morning?" two-bit demanded, a mix of concern and irritation in his voice.
ellie hesitated for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "i was with curly and angela shepard. tim caught us messing around."
two-bit's eyes widened in a mix of surprise and frustration. "curly and angela shepard? ellie, do you know how dangerous it is out there, especially at night? what were you thinking?"
ellie sighed, her gaze dropping to the floor. "i wasn't thinkin'. curly and angela wanted to do somethin' fun, and i went along. it's not an excuse, but that's what happened."
two-bit shook his head, a mix of disbelief and disappointment on his face. "dammit, ellie. you can't be doing stupid stuff like this. i've told you a hundred times to stay away from trouble. what did tim say?"
"he was furious. said we're not little kids anymore, and we should act like it. he wants to talk to you," ellie replied, her tone reflecting her own frustration.
two-bit cocked an eyebrow. "i don't believe this," he muttered as he stormed out of his room and went to meet tim outside, out of the pure concern he felt for his sister. the worry he presented was almost palpable.
if only ellie was able to see it.
two-bit would do anything for her, but would she do that for him as well? ellie certainly couldn't see the immense love he had for her. she was the one he'd give his life for, if it ever came to it.
especially in such a harsh world. the only thing is he wasn't upfront about it. she grew up with ponyboy being her best friend, so naturally, she compared herself to him.
she compared her brother with his, and two-bit was nothing like sodapop.
so as he left the room, ellie was given time to really rethink her actions.
she could've just told tim that her brother wasn't home, and that he'd get back to him another time. surely, that would buy her enough time to pack her things and start a new life as a teacher or something.
all she needed to do was escape.
unfortunately, she decided to be honest and do as tim told her.
ellie peered out of the room and looked through the window in the living room. she could see two-bit and tim conversing, and the former wasn't laughing or joking.
that was never a good sign.
so ellie made the wise decision to get some sleep. she couldn't get reprimanded if she wasn't awake. it was a good thing sleep wasn't so difficult for her to come by anymore.
she quietly shut her door and buried herself under her blankets, immediately soothed by the warmth she was met by. her worries and stress slowly melted away as she drifted off into a world of her own. but the relaxation wasn't enough to ease the (very unlikely) thought that lingered in the back of her mind:
hopefully i'll stay asleep forever.
ellie's eyes opened once again. nope. absolutely not.
that's some stupid ideation right there. it's not the end of the world. what would two-bit even do? he can't ever take anything serious.
but at the same time, ellie could see it clearly in her head; envisioning the conversation as clearly as a new piece she were to have planned out when she just got rid of artblock.
holding on tightly to her worn pillow, she turned onto her stomach. she didn't know how those reckless siblings convinced her to do such a thing. maybe it was the exuberance of it all?
it could've been the way they mocked her caution, the way she never did anything. she eventually caved, getting to do something fun for once in her life, but at what price?
it was difficult to articulate. she knew she didn't want to do it again. but the experience proved to even be edifying. nearly everything she felt she was lacking before was now fulfilled.
nearly.
she couldn't pinpoint what else was supposed to be the bridge between the gap of being alive and living.
₊⋆☁︎₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆₊☁︎⋆₊
the next day brought an awkward tension to the mathews household. two-bit, after the conversation with tim shepard, decided to ground slide as a precautionary measure. he lectured her about responsibility and the dangers of the streets at night, a lecture she found herself deflecting with a series of eyerolls and sarcastic comments.
"ellie, you need to understand the risks out there. i can't have you goin' off at all hours of the night. it ain't safe," two-bit stated firmly, his worry evident in his eyes.
ellie crossed her arms, a defiant glint in her eyes. "you're not my mama, two-bit. you can't tell me what to do."
he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "would you rather me tell her instead? i know i'm not your ma, but i'm your brother, and i care about you. i just want you to be safe."
ellie scoffed, her frustration evident. "safe? this whole neighborhood—this whole town isn't safe, two-bit. it never was. so why are you acting like you can protect me from everything?"
two-bit leaned against the doorway, his expression a mix of concern and exasperation. "i can't protect you from everything, ellie, but i sure as hell can try. you're all i got in this world, and i won't stand by watchin' you do something that might get you hurt."
ellie rolled her eyes, refusing to back down. "well, I can take care of myself. i don't need you treatin' me like some fragile thing."
he sighed again, realizing that arguing with ellie when she had her mind set was often like talking to a brick wall. "just... be careful, alright? i don't want to get a call from the police or worse."
ellie huffed, "fine. but this grounding thing? it's not gonna change anything."
two-bit, trying to maintain authority, furrowed his eyebrows. "ellie, this ain't a joke. i was worried sick last night. you could've gotten hurt."
"but i didn't, did i?" she retorted, a defiant glint in her eyes.
two-bit sighed, running a hand through his hair again. "i just can't have you running around at all hours. this ain't safe. you need to think about what you're doing."
ellie rolled her eyes. "i can take care of myself, two. i've been doing it long before you finally decided to play big brother."
his stern expression softened, revealing the concern beneath. "ellie, it's not about that. you're my sister, and I can't bear the thought of something happenin' to you. the world ain't kind, especially to girls like you."
she looked away, her tone less defiant. "i can handle it, two."
he sighed, realizing that convincing ellie to see things his way wasn't going to be easy. "just... promise me you'll be more careful, alright? i don't want to find out you're in some kind of trouble."
ellie hesitated for a moment before nodding. "fine, two. i'll be careful. happy now?"
two-bit raised an eyebrow. "don't push it, elle. and don't test my patience. you're grounded for a reason."
ellie, not willing to admit defeat, shot back, "yeah, yeah. i'll be in my room, doing my time. like I'm some prisoner."
two-bit watched as she stormed off, frustration evident in her every step. he sat on the couch with an exasperated sigh.
"girls like you," ellie scoffed. she slammed her bedroom door with all her might, a chip of wood falling off as she did so. normally, she'd be bothered by it, but right now, she could barely even think straight. "what's that supposed to mean, anyway?"
she went into her closet and looked through her clothes. all her belongings and shoes and everything in between. what was two-bit's deal anyway? he was acting like she was constantly stirring up trouble for him.
he should honestly be glad she wasn't out doing worse, like hanging out at bucks or drinking.
in her frustration, ellie found herself pacing around her room, her thoughts swirling like a storm. she couldn't understand two-bit's overprotective stance. it felt suffocating, and it clashed with the freedom she sought.
"girls like you," she mumbled to herself again, repeating his words with a mix of irritation and confusion. it wasn't the first time she'd heard that phrase, a label tossed around to define girls from their neighborhood, as if they were destined for trouble.
ellie, however, refused to be confined to any stereotype. she glanced at herself in the mirror, her reflection reflecting defiance. she ran a hand through her hair, feeling the frustration radiating from within.
with a heavy sigh, she flopped down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. the events of the night replayed in her mind. tim shepard's stern lecture, two-bit's grounding, the tracks, and the shepard siblings—all entwined in a chaotic dance of consequences.
she grabbed her notebook from the bedside table, flipping it open to a blank page. the pencil scratched across the paper as she poured her emotions onto the page. sketching became a form of therapy, a way to escape the confines of reality.
as she drew, the frustration transformed into lines and shades, creating a world of her own making. the night's events faded away, replaced by the strokes of her pencil. the emotions were still there, lingering in the shadows of her art, but it was a release, a way to process the tumultuous feelings that gripped her.
outside her room, two-bit sighed, his worry for ellie evident in his eyes. he knew the streets they lived on were unforgiving, especially for a girl like her. the delicate balance between protecting and allowing her to find her own way in the world remained a challenge, one that both siblings grappled with in their own unique ways.
ellie flipped the page. her hand hovered over the lined paper, her brain coming to a blank. she couldn't even write anything anymore, her mind was just so jumbled. she tossed the notebook aside and stood up.
ellie paced around her room, frustration and confusion bubbling within her. the more she thought about it, the more it bothered her.
"what does he even know about 'girls like me'?" ellie muttered to herself. the sound of a knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. "elle, can we talk?" two-bit's voice came from the other side.
ellie sighed, shoving her notebook under her bed and sitting down, sinking into the mattress. "fine, come in."
two-bit entered cautiously, his eyes scanning the room. "i ain't tryin' to be your mom, ellie. i'm just worried about you."
she looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and confusion. "worried? about what? i can handle myself, two."
he took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. "you don't get it, elle. this world ain't kind, especially to girls like you."
ellie crossed her arms. "girls like me? you keep sayin' that. what's that supposed to mean? just because i'm not out causin' trouble like everyone else doesn't mean i can't handle things."
two-bit sat on the edge of her bed, his gaze fixed on the worn-out carpet. "it's not about causing trouble, elle. it's about the trouble that can find you. you're my sister, and i can't help but worry."
she softened a bit, realizing that beneath the frustration, two-bit was genuinely concerned. "i get it, two. but i can't live my life like i'm constantly in danger."
he nodded, acknowledging her perspective. "i ain't saying you can't have freedom, elle. just... be smart about it. there are things out there that you can't control."
ellie looked at him, her eyes reflecting a mix of defiance and vulnerability. "i know that, two. but i'm not some fragile thing that needs protection. i can take care of myself." she stood up.
"where're you goin'?"
"the curtis house," ellie answered, digging in her closet for some converse.
"no you ain't, you're grounded. only place you can be is home and school." he saw ellie's facial expression and sighed. "it won't be for long, ellie," he reassured as he walked out of her room. "and no more door slamming."
ellie dropped her tennis shoe in shock.
"you're one to talk," she murmured, before looking up and peeking from her doorway. "you know, i was joking about bein' a prisoner. you should stop taking things so literal, two," she called after him.
clearly, the hoodlum life was not for the weak. what she did wasn't even a criminal offense, really, it only put her life in... mild danger. there was a fifty-fifty chance she would've been completely okay, but there was no way of ever finding out.
she'd have to stay away from the likes of curly shepard. him and his outfit would have her partaking in true delinquent activities she wanted no part of.
₊⋆☁︎₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆₊☁︎⋆₊
after another long and repetitive day of school, ellie walked home from school with evie and sandy, the three of them chatting about classes, weekend plans (although ellie didn't have any, for she was grounded), and the latest gossip in their small community. the winter breeze was gentle on their skin, and the sun cast long shadows on the pavement. as they approached ellie's house, the conversation took an interesting turn.
evie, with a sly grin on her face, nudged ellie playfully. "you won't believe what steve said to me today."
sandy perked up, intrigued. "what? spill it, evie. what did the cocky and arrogant steve randle say?"
evie chuckled, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "well, before school he was fixin' his car near the auto shop, and i happened to walk by. you know, just minding my own business. and then, out of nowhere, he says, 'hey, evie, do you know anything about cars?'"
sandy raised an eyebrow. "and what did you say?"
"oh, i just told him, 'sure, i know a thing or two. what's up?'" evie laughed, recalling the encounter.
ellie smirked. "so, what did he want?"
evie shrugged nonchalantly. "not much, just some small talk about engines and stuff. but it was clear he was just lookin' for an excuse to talk to me."
sandy teased, "looks like someone's got a secret admirer. actually, it ain't so much of a secret. you guys are always lookin' at each other all lovey-dovey."
evie rolled her eyes. "please, it's steve randle. he's just curious about cars. but you know what's interestin'? i think he's trying to impress me with his auto knowledge."
ellie grinned. "you think? well, maybe he's got a soft spot for girls who know their way around cars. you never know. but, if steve is turning over a new leaf, that's definitely something."
when ellie got home, she took off her coat with a sigh, hanging it up on the coatrack. she wasn't used to heading straight home after school; she itched for something to do. but not being able to do anything or see anyone made for a very boring life.
and she'd have to live this life over the next few days, which would be dragged out into feeling like months.
ellie trudged down the hallway. everything felt sort of muggy, as she neared her bedroom the smell of cigarette smoke saturated. she tentatively twisted the doorknob and jumped back once she opened the door.
"dally?" ellie asked in bewilderment. the last thing she expected to see was dallas winston kicked back on her bed, smoking a cigarette. "what're you doin' here?" she asked as she set her backpack down on her chair, fanning her hand in front of her face as the scent of tobacco wafted through the air.
dallas smirked and removed the cigarette from his mouth. "buck kicked me out, man. figured i'd just stop by since i didn't have nothin' better to do." he sat up and for took the pack of kools out of his pocket. "ya know," he chuckled, "tim shepard told me what he caught you and his siblings doin'."
ellie groaned. "why can't no one keep their trap shut around here?" she sat at the foot of her bed. "what's it to you, anyway? what's done is done, and it ain't ever gonna happen again."
"didn't think you'd have anything like that in ya, kid. whose uh, whose idea was it?"
ellie leaned against the wall. "not mine. it was mostly curly's idea. i just went along with it cause i knew they'd never shut up about me bein' chicken if i didn't."
dally laughed. "last thing i'd expect from you is to listen to the likes of curly shepard, kid. i thought you were smarter than that, elle."
she sighed. "yeah, well—wait, how long have you even been here?" her eyes darted around the room in what she hoped to be a subtle manner, but she really appeared to be quite frantic. "you didn't steal or look through anything, did you?"
letting a plume of smoke escape his lips, dallas shook his head. "i wouldn't do that, elle. not like you got anything i'd ever want. you expect me to start painting or some shit?"
ellie looked underneath her bed. "no, but..." she trailed off as she retrieved her notebook and sat up, hitting her head on the bottom of the bed frame
"jesus christ," he mumbled tiredly.
sitting back up with caution this time, ellie looked over at the pack of kools on dally's lap. "why do you smoke so much, dal? it's gross."
"'cause i want to."
"but why?" she grabbed the pack and flipped it open. "it's just blackening your lungs. only thing they're gonna do in the end is kill you."
dallas reached over and snatched his cigarettes back from her. "yeah, well at least i don't go jumpin' on moving trains, huh, kid?"
"you act like you don't do worse things on a daily," ellie muttered with a surge of courage she never really had before.
dally's eyes darkened and he stood up. "it's a damn good thing that shepard found you instead of me. if i ever catch you pullin' any stunts like that again, i'll beat the tar out of you."
ellie looked down at her lap. she knew better than to talk to dallas winston that way. dally's threat hung in the air, and the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. ellie fidgeted with the edges of her notebook, her mind racing. she never expected dallas winston of all people to be the voice of reason—or at least, a rough approximation of it.
dally took a drag from his cigarette, his eyes piercing through ellie. the room fell into an uneasy silence, the smoke swirling between them. despite the tension, ellie couldn't help but meet dally's gaze with a defiant glare.
"you don't know nothin', kid," dally finally grumbled, pacing around the room. "you think you've seen the worst of it, but you're just playin' in the kiddie pool. the streets ain't a place for a greenhorn like you."
ellie rolled her eyes. "greenhorn or not, i can handle myself. i don't need someone like you tellin' me what to do."
dally chuckled, a bitter edge to his amusement. "handle yourself, huh? you're living in a bubble, mathews. your brother can't keep you sheltered forever, and one of these days, you're gonna have to face the real world."
"maybe i don't want your version of the real world," ellie shot back, her frustration bubbling to the surface.
dallas stopped in his tracks, a contemplative look in his eyes. "you're right. maybe you don't." he walked back to the bed and sat down, the worn mattress creaking under his weight.
the room was filled with an uncomfortable silence, broken only by the occasional drag of dally's cigarette. ellie glanced at the pack of kools, contemplating whether she should push the conversation further.
"why are you even here?" she finally asked, her tone softer.
dally leaned back, the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips. "like i said, kicked out. plus, i heard you were grounded. thought i'd come and see what a caged bird looks like."
ellie scoffed. "real charming."
"charm ain't my specialty, elle. just remember, the streets don't care how good your grades are or how much you like drawing. they'll chew you up and spit you out."
before either could say more, the sound of footsteps approached ellie's bedroom. the door swung open, revealing two-bit with a raised eyebrow and a bemused grin. "well, well, what have we got here? a cozy little chat between the soft kid and the meanest son of a gun in town?"
dallas shot two-bit a glare, and ellie rolled her eyes. "it's not cozy, and he just dropped by. nothing more."
two-bit chuckled. "sure, whatever you say. dally, you're welcome to stick around, but mind you, the kid's grounded. no mischief in her room."
dally shot one last stern look at ellie before flicking his cigarette out the window and striding past two-bit. "i'm outta here. keep your sister out of trouble, two-bit."
as the door closed behind dally, two-bit turned to ellie with a smirk. "so, what other trouble have you been getting into, echo? you've picked up on arguin' with hoods?"
ellie shot two-bit an exasperated look. "no trouble, two. dally just stopped by. that's all."
two-bit raised an eyebrow, his grin widening. "dally? just stopping by? i never thought i'd see the day. what's he up to, elle? you two plannin' a heist or somethin'?"
ellie rolled her eyes. "very funny, two. he got kicked out and decided to grace me with his charming presence."
two-bit chuckled. "kicked out? now, that's a sight i'd pay to see. what'd he do this time
ellie sighed. "who knows, two? he didn't spill the details. said he needed a break."
two-bit raised an eyebrow, still grinning. "he needed a break, huh? well, ain't that a pleasant surprise. you two have a heart-to-heart?"
ellie sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. "no heart-to-heart, two. just boredom and bad decisions."
two-bit's grin widened. "well, you're grounded for a reason, kid. can't have you stirring up trouble all over town."
ellie rolled her eyes. "you sound just like dally."
two-Bit chuckled. "maybe i do. but it's a good thing he gave you a talking to. you need someone looking out for you, especially when i'm not around."
ellie crossed her arms, a defiant glint in her eyes. "i can take care of myself, you know."
two-bit ruffled her hair playfully. "sure, sure. just remember, trouble has a way of finding its way to you, even when you're not looking for it."
as two-bit headed for the door, he added with a grin, "and if dally's giving you life advice, you might want to consider it. the guy's been around the block a few times."
"yeah, yeah, i'll just do everything he says.
two-bit crossed his arms, his playful expression turning more serious. "i didn't say all that, now. watch yourself around him, elle. dallys a live wire, and you don't need sparks flyin' in your direction."
ellie nodded, appreciating the concern in Two-Bit's eyes. "I can deal with dally, two. don't worry about it."
ellie groaned, realizing that her afternoon had taken an unexpected turn. as two-bit left the room, she leaned back against her bed, contemplating the peculiar encounter with dally and the inevitable consequences of her impulsive actions. the room was once again filled with the lingering scent of cigarette smoke, a reminder of the harsh reality that lingered just beyond the confines of her home.
ellie stood up and opened her window a bit wider, letting in the frosty air. she shivered, but she'd rather be cold than have her room smelling like tobacco.
she sat back on her bed and wrapped herself in her blanket, sheltered from the harsh weather drifting into her bedroom. the worst part about being grounded? it was hard to decide.
ellie didn't mind being at home.
but the lectures were getting to her. it was as if she wasn't allowed to make mistakes. she'd gotten so many lectures about staying safe and being responsible that it was engraved into the depths of her mind, overtaking any other thought she had. with the "lesson" being hammered into her brain so many times, she may as well have grounded herself.
it's easier to stay indoors and have no life than to have people tell you what you already know over and over again.
how many more times would she have to repeat 'i can handle myself' until her punishment was over?
she felt she was kept within psychological locks. being at home all the time, except for school, was more trapping than having to conform with a certain set of rules the people in her life set for her.
after all, she was only human.