The twins woke up late he next morning and went downstairs to find their host waiting for them in the kitchen. He was wearing clean shirt and fresh trousers and had even put on a new cloak. This one was black with a gold chain. He tapped the table expectantly.
"Uh, morning." Said Dipper apprehensively.
"I've got someone here," he held up a book, and the kids recognized it as the journal they had seen on the desk in his room. "Who wants to meet you. But you've gotta promise to be super careful with him."
"Uh, okay."
"I mean it. You gotta promise that if it comes to it, you'll protect him with your life."
"Okay." They crossed their hearts. "We promise to take good care of your... friend."
"And to not let anything bad happen to him."
"Good." Stan held out the book to Dipper, who took it with some apprehension.
"Open him up and introduce yourselves." They did so.
"Uh, I'm Mabel."
"And I'm Dipper"
Just like before, words were invisibly written onto the paper.
Hello Mabel. Hello Dipper. My name is Stanford.
Dipper smacked his forehead. "Oh, I get it. You're enchanted like the others."
"But you can't move on your own? That stinks!" huffed Mabel.
I can see. And I can write. But I can also be damaged pretty easily, so Stan's a bit protective.
Dipper looked back up at Stan. "Is that why you were so mad? You thought we would damage your friend?"
Stan scratched the back of his neck. "Well... yes."
Mabel scoffed. "Well, you don't have to worry about that. Ol' Dip-Dop here would rather eat his own eyeballs than hurt a book."
"Eww! Gross!" He turned back to Stan. "It's true though." Stan chuckled. "Good to know. Well, I'll leave you three to it."
The twins scurried away entranced with their new friend.
"So, do you mind if I ask you a couple hundred questions about the castle and the surrounding woods?" Dipper asked as they left the room.
Stan watched them walk off, apprehension mixing with delight.
"That was decent of you." Said Soos hopping on his shoulder.
"Yeah, well," Stan shrugged. "Ford wanted to meet them. And they deserve a good turn."
"Well if a good turn's what you want to give them, I have a few suggestions..."
####
"How old is this place?"
"How big is the forest?"
"Are there brownies living under your floors?"
"Can you feel us touching you?"
"What kind of drawings can you do?"
"Why are there scratches on your back cover?"
Dipper and Mabel bombarded Stanford with question after question. It was all he could do to write each answer as it came to him. But at the last question, his words stilled then faded. Curling doodles form on his pages as he tried to think of the best way to answer.
"Mister Stanford?" said Mabel out of concern, "Are you alright?"
Call me Ford. And yes, I'm fine.
The marks on my back are from an... accident that happened a long time ago. Stan picked me up the wrong way with his claws. He was very apologetic about it later on.
"Did it hurt?" Mabel asked in a small voice.
It was... unpleasant for both of us. In fact, for a long time, Stan was too scared to touch me at all. So, for months at a time I just sat on that desk with nothing to do and no one to talk to. It was almost like, I didn't exist.
Neither twin knew how to react to this. Dipper just squeezed his side of the book while Mabel stroked the pages on her side with her thumb. Then the pages fluttered and flipped to a fresh space.
But enough about that. Look at this neat trick.
He then traced the outline of a strange monster he captioned as a "gremoblin". Then with a twitch, the image started moving through an elaborate landscape. The twins laughed and asked for more.
Stan later found the kids (and Ford) out by the stables. Dipper was staring at Fords' pages with rapt attention, and Mabel was playing with that darn foot stool.
"He's sooo cute!" she squealed, "I love him!"
"You wanta' keep him?"
She gasped. "Can I? Don't you go playing around with my feelings!"
"Yeah, sure, he's all yours. We weren't doing anything wit" he was caught off as the four-foot tall girl leapt on his shoulder had forcefully nuzzled him going "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ooof!" You're welcome." He strained as his plucked her off of him and set her down. He then turned to Dipper. "And don't think I've forgotten about you. Follow me."
There were books everywhere. Shelves were built into the walls and the stairwell and even into the window-seat. There were whole shelves of books in all known genres and all known languages. Books ranging from philosophy to mathematics to cryptozoology.
"Now, we haven't had anything new in a while, and some of these are a bit dated, but it's all yours to read as much as you want."
Dipper stared at it with a strung-out grin on his face, not saying a word.
"So, you like it?" asked his host.
"Uh-huh." The boy nodded.
"Well, have at it."
"Okay." He slowly walked, as if in a temple. "I have my own library."
Stan turned to Mabel standing next to him, happily petting the stool which she dubbed 'Waddles'.
"You think he likes it?" He asked her jokingly.
"I think you just made his decade." She said, gazing at the impressive room.
"You can read too if you want too." He said after a minute. Mabel looked at him.
"Do you have any 'inappropriate romances'?" she whispered the last two words.
Stan chuckled; "We've got a whole shelf full of them! Third one to the left." He pointed her to the right direction, and she ran off giggling.
Three hours later, the kids emerged from the library, Dipper flush with glee and happily chatting with Ford, and Mabel beet-red, mumbling about how she was now a woman. They met up with Stan in the sitting room. "You knuckleheads have a good time?" He asked as he stoked the fireplace.
"Amazing!" Dipper gushed, "This Ford guy's a genius! I think he might know more than all those books combined! He led me straight to the books on magic creatures and showed me all these detailed illustrations. ON HIS OWN PAGES!! I... I'm really glad you introduced us."
Stan sat on Abuelita and cracked his neck. "Yeah, Ford's a good egg. He's the one who told me to go get you. For someone who can't talk, he really chewed me out."
"How did he" Dipper looked at Ford. "How did you know where to find us?"
The hand on my front is charmed. Tap it three times and ask it to show you something.
Dipper knew exactly what he wanted to see. Closing Ford, he tapped the gold hand while Mabel looked over his shoulder.
"Please show us Uncle Fiddle." He asked. Instantly, the hand shimmered and they saw Dear Uncle Fids curled up on their basement floor snoring away.
"Poor guy must have stayed up all night again." Said Mabel. Dipper nodded in agreement. The gold vision faded, and Dipper hugged the book to his chest. "Thanks."
####
As it happened, Fiddleford McGucket hadn't been up all night. He hadn't been awake since yesterday morning. Between his manic concussion and his jailors' bedside manner, he hadn't had anything to do but sleep and nibble at the food left for him. He stirred as he heard the door scrap open. The boy in black -Robbie as he introduced himself- came down the stairs armed with a lute and a picnic basket.
"Okay man, I've got lunch. Let's try to do this without you attacking me."
McGucket sat up. "It's a fine thing to do! Takin' a man's wards, and then keepin' him a prisoner in his own house! I have half a mind to"
"You DO have half a mind if you think I'm gonna let you lead people back to the castle. I didn't sacrifice my social life just to let some yokels mob my home!" he set the basket down. "I keep telling you your kids are safe, and if you just stop whaling on me for five minutes, maybe I could"
"Save yer offers! I'm not interested!" With that, the man hobbled off behind the nearest pile of junk to sulk.
Robbie sat down and started taking out food. The old man would eat when he was ready. Then he heard the scrapping sound of junk being pushed along the ground. Then he heard the sound of a window being shimmied open, and of McGucket scrambling through said window.
"FREEDOM!! HA HA HAAA!" then CRASH! There was the loud sound of him banging into something; most likely Robbie's carriage. "You okay?"
"... I'm hurt."
####
From the kitchen, Lazy Susan announced that dinner was ready. Stan took Ford back from Dipper and was about to leave when Mabel asked;
"Do you want to join us for dinner? We're having roast chicken."
All the staff members froze. It had been so long since the Master had actually eaten at the table. They all wondered how he would answer.
Stan just stood there, considering the offer. "I do like that." He said and went with them.
Watching Stan eat was a spectacle in itself. The twins gazed in awe as he held the meat down with his paws and ripped it up with his teeth, like he was afraid the bird would spring back to life and escape at any moment. Dipper remembered the bones they saw in the West Wing and silently thanked God that they weren't having beef. The staff members just stood to the side, thrilled that their master was finally having a meal outside of his room.
As Stan swallowed a particularly big chunk of meat, he looked up and saw the kids staring at him. "Uh..." That was as far a he got before Mabel put down her cutlery in favor of tearing up her own meat. "Mmmm!" she said, her mouth full, "Taste the hunt!"
Dipper laughed and followed suite, tearing a leg off his bird and taking a hearty bite. Stan took a moment to appreciate their imitating him, then belched.
Mabel had a dream that night about the playroom they saw. Only instead of being dirty and empty, it was bright and cheerful. And there were two little boys playing on the toy ship. They were too similar to not be brothers. One boy was paddling while the other climbed the mast. Both were singing a shanty.
High ho, away I go! It's a pirate's life for me!
High ho, away I go! It's a pirate's life at sea!
A pirate's life is one of leisure, rum and swordplay is our pleasure,
Not to mention buried treasure!
Hey away I go!
It was a happy dream, yet something about it made her cry in her sleep.
The next day, there was a fresh layer of snow on the ground. The twins spent the morning hanging out in the courtyard while Ford sat open on a table on the porch. After a while, Stan came out to join them.
"Nice clothes." Said Dipper. "You look good in a shirt."
"Yeah, well," he rolled up his right sleeve to reveal his bandaged arm. "Thought it'd be a good idea to keep your work dry."
"Uh-huh. And the pants?"
Stan rolled his eyes. "Neah. It's not like I'm modest or anything. I've plenty of fur to cover my area." -at this, Mabel blushed- "But it's a good way to keep my legs dry."
"Speaking of dry, we'd better make sure the door to the boiler room is – OOF!"
Dipper stumbled as he tried to lift the half-frozen axe off the chopping block. He wound up falling flat on his but while the blade barely moved an inch. Stan and Mabel guffawed, and Stan strolled over to the block and casually picked up the axe with one paw.
"Looks like you need to work on your form." He said as Dipper stood up.
"Ha ha ha." Snapped the embarrassed boy. "Let me remind you that your arms are bigger than my head!"
"Oh, and you think I was always this strong? Come here." Stan led Dipper over to the wall and had him and Mabel fling snowballs at it. It took them twelve tries, but finally Dipper knocked over some snow from the top. He pumped his fists in the air. Stan grinned.
"Atta' boy. That's how I toughened up as a kid." Dipper looked at him and couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. It felt good to make the big hairy guy happy.
After a while, they stopped throwing snowballs at the wall and started throwing them at each other. Stan loved that. He even chased them around the courtyard with a massive wad of snow held over his head. Mabel managed to trip him up by throwing snowballs at his feet.
After an hour, they all went in for lunch. And later, Stan watched the kids make snow angels in the backyard.
"Do you want to make one?" Mabel asked.
Stan shook his head "Nah, I don't have the right shape for an angel. It'll just come out looking like a monster."
In response the kids tackled him to the ground. He flailed around a bit before getting up. Looking down, he saw a lopsided shape in the snow.
"So yeah, like I said, I'm not..."
"Are you kidding?" said Dipper, "It's great!" He picked up a stick and started tracing and adding details. "It looks just like the constellation Orion!"
"Yours is the best of them all!" said Mabel, hugging his arm. Stan stiffened, then relaxed. He looked over at Ford propped up on the porch.
The best of them all. Heh.
####