"That's all she said? Just 'take care of yourself'?" Mia asked her friend as they both lay down on Jennie's bed. Two days had passed since the call but Jennie felt the rejection still.
"Yeah. Guess it's my fault anyways. I literally ghosted her despite everything she did for me. Besides, even if she still wanted me, my father would never allow me to marry a killer," Jennie sighed, moving her hands up to massage her temples with her thumbs. She felt frustrated. Riley had clearly moved on and she was going nowhere on finding out how her mother really died.
"Probably. But have you gone to the place? The poetry house I mean. How is it?" Mia asked once more, sitting up to look at her friend better. Jennie also sat up and shook her head no.
"Will you go with me?" She asked as she gave her friend puppy dog eyes. Mia smiled at her and pulled her towards herself so that her head rested on her shoulder.
"Of course, what are friends for?"
Later on that day when Mia had left, Jennie left her room for the kitchen to get a glass of cold water, only to find the rest of her family watching a movie in the living room. The sight somehow made her sad. She longed to have the feeling of having a family. The feeling of belonging. But she was afraid of not being accepted.
She walked away from the room and into the kitchen, but her father saw her. So when she was returning to her room after drinking water, he called her.
"Hey Jen, join us," he invited her with a smile, all eyes turning to look at the girl. Jennie shook her head no.
"I'm good, but thanks," she said, then turned around and left the room.
Joshua looked back at the TV, his mood dampened. He yearned for a relationship with his daughter. Murrieta placed her hand on his, making him look at her.
"Go talk to her," she whispered and Joshua was grateful to have her as a wife. He smiled at her and gave her a kiss on her forehead before standing up and heading upstairs to look for his daughter.
"Jennie, can I come in," he called out, leaving light knocks on the door. There was shuffling for a few minutes before the door opened to reveal Jennie.
"Is everything okay?" Jennie asked her father, confused about his visit to her room. They had let her be for a while now so she didn't expect any of them to start paying any attention to her.
"Can I come in?" Joshua asked as he tried to mask his nervousness with a small smile. Jennie looked at him for a few seconds as if contemplating on what to do, before opening the door wider and stepping aside.
Joshua walked in and moved into the room, turning around to face his daughter. Jennie pointed at her bed and they both went to sit down.
"Do you need anything?" Jennie asked him, feeling uneasy. The last time her father came to her looking this nervous, she found herself in an arrangement marriage with a woman. She wasn't complaining, but still.
Joshua looked at his daughter.
"Are you okay?" He asked her, the sincerity of his concern visible in his eyes. Jennie blinked a few times. She didn't expect such a question.
"I'm fine." She sounded unsure, but Joshua didn't want to push. They sat in silence for a few minutes, none of them brave enough to start a conversation. Their eyes looked around the room, but not at each other, until Jennie couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Was that all you came to ask?" She asked her father, and Joshua felt like a knife was driven into his heart. He looked at his daughter who looked at him as well, before giving her a small nod and standing up. He was almost at the door when Jennie's voice held him back. He turned and looked at his daughter, and his heart hammered violently against his chest when he saw her give him a dark look.
"What happened to my mother?" Jennie asked, standing up and keeping her eyes on her father. Joshua froze. His mouth opened, but no words came out. So Jennie spoke once more, taking a step closer to her father.
"How exactly did she die? I want the truth."
Joshua closed his mouth and eyes for a second before letting out a breath. Opening his eyes, he motioned for them to sit, and even though Jennie didn't want to, she followed her father and they both sat down on her bed again.
.......
Riley drove into Layla's house only to find another car already parked next to her lover's car. It wasn't Max's car so she wondered who it belonged to. Maybe she should've called first, but it was too late for that now. Besides, she's Riley Brown. Confidence runs in her blood.
That being said, she walked to the front door and was about to knock when she heard commotion inside. More like terrible arguing. Layla did say she didn't like it when Riley knocked when she came around so, she let herself in. As soon she got in, the talking stopped. Two women stood glaring at each other, one of them being Layla. She turned to look at Riley when the latter got in and panic flashed in her eyes. But Riley felt calm, chilled even.
"Hi. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" She asked, closing the door and walking towards her lover.
"Who's this?" The woman asked Layla. Out of habit, the latter grabbed Riley's hand, looking down to play with her fingers. The hand holding was not the habit, it's the need for close contact that had become a habit for them. Riley looked at her lover and let out a small contented sigh, loving the feeling of Layla's fingers gently stroking her own. It was relaxing to some extent. Riley faced the woman who looked confused and very much pissed.
"Riley Brown." She introduced herself, and Layla looked up at her with dreamy eyes. Riley almost chuckled at the sight, seeing that her lover was definitely not sober.
"I don't care who you. I'm not here for you," the woman spat out the words in annoyance, clearly unamused.
"I don't care who you are either. Leave this house before I throw you out myself." The words were said calmly, but the warning was loud and clear. The woman glared hard.
"I am Layla's-"
"Past. I am her present and future. Get out," Riley growled and Layla snuggled herself into her. The woman fisted her hands in anger before stomping out of the house, banging the door behind her. Riley shook her head before looking down at her lover who's eyes were closed as she clung herself to her.
"Layla," she called her, but the woman only hummed in response, not bothering to move or open her eyes.
"Layla," Riley called her again, her voice now stern. The latter let out a defeated sigh and moved away, opening her eyes to look up at her lover.
"Who was that?" Riley asked. But she wasn't mad or anything. Just curious. It's not like she wasn't aware of the numerous women that once existed in Layla's life. Most of those women, being crazy knuckleheads.
"I can't remember. She just came here shouting and ranting. Told me I dumped her on text and left her hanging or something like that," Layla responded quietly, and judging from the look in her eyes, Riley knew she was being honest. She gave her a small nod and Layla grinned widely. Cute. Riley thought, smiling at her. She wasn't about to judge her. Layla isn't perfect, but neither is she. They both have skeletons and a past that they are not very proud of, but so far Layla had accepted her lover with all the burgages she carried. Riley appreciated that, and she wanted Layla to know that she would always stay by her side, no matter what.
"Wanna go upstairs and cuddle?" Layla asked, giving her lover her best puppy eyes, and Riley couldn't say no.
"I'd love that very much," she answered truthfully before she was pulled upstairs and away from the room.
.......
"When your mother found out that she had cancer, she was devastated. Scared. There were nights when we stayed awake because she couldn't sleep. She cried a lot, and each time she did, it broke my heart," Joshua started. He had his arms resting on his knees, his head low and eyes looking at his own feet. Jennie sat next to him. She said nothing, absolutely nothing.
"One day she fell really really sick, so I rushed her to the hospital even though she didn't want me to. Upon getting there, the doctor was not precise on what was wrong with her. I went out to get us something to eat and when I came back, she was having a private discussion with same doctor. It wasn't my intention to earsdrop but when I overhead what they were talking about, I burst in without warning, startling them both. That's when she told me about the deal she made with the doctor. Apparently, he had injected her with something that would speed up the process for her," Joshua said, afraid of being too blunt. But Jennie wanted to know, regardless of how disheartening the raw truth is.
"Dad, speed up what process?" She asked her father. Joshua raised his head and looked at her. His eyes were filled with tears and when she finally spoke, his voice had a crack.
"Her death."
.......
Riley revelled in the presence of her lover who now sat on her lap, straddling her. They were on Layla's bed with Riley's back resting on a pillow on the headrest. Her hands remained stationary on her lover's thighs while her lover, intoxicated by Lord knows what, attacked her neck with kisses, bites and nips. One of her hands was fisted on Riley's shirt on her side while the other moved around her neck.
Riley threw her head back and gasped at the feel of Layla running her tongue on her pulse point, her eyes closing for a few seconds before they opened again and she gently pushed her lover away. Layla looked at her, biting her lip with drunken eyes.
"I thought we came up here to cuddle," Riley asked her, the question eliciting a small giggle from her girlfriend.
"We did," Layla smirked. What exactly did she drink, or take. Riley wondered, but she wasn't complaining.
"And is marking me part of cuddling?" Riley asks, smiling in amusement.
"Well, no. But it is an us thing now," she said, then went down to Riley's neck but the latter gently pushed her back again, which made her whine.
"Are you gonna tell me what you took?" Riley asked her. Layla pouted and shook her head no, hiding her face in Riley's neck.
"You smell soooo gooood," she moaned, and Riley tried hard to ignore the electric sensation that flowed through her body, but her hands did tighten on her girlfriend's thighs, which made the latter smile.
"Baby, wait."
Layla froze for a second before moving back to look at her lover, her smile turning into a grin.
"Call me that again," she said, moving closer so that no space was left between them as she now sat towering her lover a bit. Riley let out a sigh. She loved all versions Layla. Sweet, kind, caring. Crazy, psychotic, savage. The good girl, and the very bad girl. But drunk/high Layla, now that version is always hard to control. Riley loved this side a little less than the others. And no, not because it's hard to control, but that does add on to the larger reasons. The real reasons are because;
A- She becomes hyperactive and can't stay still for long.
B- She becomes extra touchy with no sense of control or whatsoever.
C- Can her very wild.
D- Is almost always, always, horny.
Now, as much as those sound temptingly good, they are very bad in public. That's why Riley always avoids having a drunk/high Layla moving about in a crowd or in public.
"I'm gonna say it again if you tell me exactly what you took," Riley tried to negotiate.
"Really?" Layla asked, and Riley was slightly shocked that she was even listening with how her eyes were practically glued on her lips as she kept brushing her thump on her lower lip.
"Really. But you go first," Riley said, her eyebrows rising and falling as she gave the latter a stern look. Layla's eyes moved up to look into her lover's eyes and she smiled, moving her hand away from her lips.
"I can't remember," she said then giggled, biting her lower lip in a way that Riley found seductive. She sighed, why on Earth did she think she could negotiate with a high Layla? The woman doesn't listen.
"Can you say it now?" Layla pleaded with a small jump while giving her lover puppy eyes, and Riley couldn't resist.
"Baby,"
"Yay! Say it again," Layla said excitedly with a few claps of her hands.
"Baby," Riley repeated, a small smile finding its way to her face. Layla giggled as she snuggled herself into her lover's arms. Riley hugged her closely and let out a contented sigh before placing a small kiss on her high girlfriend's forehead. Layla sighed.
"I love it when you do that," she said quietly, her eyes closing as she took in Riley's intoxicating smell.
"Do what?" Riley asked as she slightly tilted her head to the side and looked at her lover.
"Kiss my forehead. Makes me feel... Special. Does that make sense?" She explained in a low voice, and Riley couldn't help but smile.
"It does."
"And when you kiss my cheeks, it makes me feel giddy," Layla continued, moving to nuzzle her nose into Riley's neck for a second before placing her head on her shoulder. Riley moved stray strands of her girlfriend's hair behind her ear and smirked.
"You're so adorable," she said, and would've declared this the end of their day if not for what her girlfriend said next.
"Should we bake a cake? Let's bake a cake. I'll go call Max and get everything ready!" She said, jumping out of Riley's hold and skipping out of the room. Riley chuckled to herself and slowly got off the bed, shaking her head.
.......
Jennie turned and looked at the photo of her mother and herself that she kept next to her bed.
So all this time she channeled her anger, pain and sadness to her father on the loss of her mother when in reality, her mother chose her fate.
"I didn't tell you this earlier on because I didn't want you to hate her. I would rather have you hate me, than hate her," Joshua continued, his words bringing his daughter's eyes back to him.
"Why?" She asked. Her voice was low and almost sounded calm but her heart was broken. Guilt. Massive guilt is what she felt.
"Because I loved her, I still do."
"That's not what I'm asking you. Why did she do it? Why did she want to die and leave me, her daughter?! Jennie asked, failing to keep her anger and frustration at bay.
"She was scared-"
"Scared? Of what?!"
"Being vulnerable," Joshua explained, and Jennie's lips thinned. She listened to her father.
"Jennie, watching someone you love slowly die is very, very painful. Maybe that would've given you some kind of closure but just think about how your your mother felt. Having to watch her own life fade away infront of her. Going from being able to go anywhere and do anything to being limited and restricted. Suddenly not every food you want to eat is good for your health. Waiting for when your hair will start falling out," Joshua explained, his words like glue to his daughter, sticking in.
He reached out and took her hands into his with a small sigh, and Jennie let him.
"I'm not excusing her actions, but I think it wouldn't be fair for us to judge her." Jennie looked at him for a few seconds before looking down with a loud sigh.
"I feel so ashamed. Dad, I'm sorry. I thought-" she tried to explain, but Joshua was quick to react. He moved closer to her and engulfed her in a hug. She froze for a few seconds before sinking into the hug.
"It's okay, I understand. I should've told you sooner so I'm also sorry. You're my daughter Jennie, and I love you very much," Joshua told his daughter as he hugged her close.
"I love you too dad."