Rainn guides us down a small trail on the edge of the clearing. A line of curious pups hops into her footsteps in the mud.
"We're nearing the portion of the forest with extra poison oak. You all remember how to identify it, right?"
"Right," a chorus of proud voices chime after Rainn.
"Good! Let's steer clear and warn each other if we spot it."
I smile, my heart lifting. Dad left me with the skills to recognize Greenfield Forest flora too. With how haphazardly these pups roam the forest, I can see why they already needed to memorize how to avoid poison oak so early.
"Can someone help me find the next set of footprints for our deer?" Rainn asks.
My eyes zip to the forest floor, scouring the mud beneath the leaves. But then Rainn adds, "Use your nose only!"
My stomach sinks. Noah glances back as my feet slow, and I try to smile.
But I don't know how to do this. Toddlers track wild deer with their noses all around us with no problem. Maybe I could too, but I have no idea where to start. I never was taught.
You okay? Noah mindlinks. We're striding ahead, his focus remaining on the pups as he gives them encouraging nods. "Good job, Beta, that's exactly it," he murmurs, drawing a wide grin onto a little boy's face.
My heart flips. Before today, I could only imagine how sweetly Noah would treat our children, but this is giving me a clearer glimpse that's so delightful, I almost can't stand it yet.
But as his eyes flicker to mine, they're still greener than usual. "You okay?" He tries out loud this time.
I drop my head, hiding my flushed cheeks. "Sorry. I'm okay. I just remembered something."
"Yeah?" He draws closer, hugging me against his side.
The wind gushes through the trees, ruffling leaves and pups' hair as far as I can see. They're covered in mud, but they're also all smiling.
"Yeah," I whisper. "I used to love playing in the dirt."
Noah breaks into the widest smile possible, dissolving all my flustered nerves. We break into soft giggles, huddling in closer. "Goddess, I can imagine you getting your tiny hands all muddy."
I laugh. "I loved it. But my mom didn't."
Noah tilts his head, studying my expression. I'm still smiling, but there's no denying the tumultuous ache from my side of our bond.
Maybe classifying my situation as "never taught" is putting it too lightly. The more I think about it, the more I realize life trained me into not only a subservient woman but also as little of a Lycan as possible. Every curious, wolflike childhood memory ended in shame.
Rainn calls out, "Over here, everyone!"
Noah and I follow the pups to Rainn. A part of me is dying to participate, but to do so, I'll have to ask how to even track scents in the first place, and that sounds absolutely humiliating.
All these pups are looking up to us, expecting Noah and I to not only lead them, but also entrusting their lives to us with full faith we'll keep them safe. But how can I when I can't even sniff out danger unless it's shoved in my face?
As Rainn explains the intricacies of scent tracking, my eyes gloss over. My heart is racing and my chest feels hot, embarrassment sinking me further into Noah's side without me even realizing it.
But a soft nudge on my shoulder guides me away from the group. Hurrying away with him while the pups are distracted, we stop behind a nearby boulder.
I look up to find Noah's gentle smile. When I can't fully smile back, he doesn't pressure me for answers: he sends me a wave of his soothing scent. My shoulders soften, but I'm tempted to cry.
Fuck, no, I am crying. One look at my mate splits my heart open, my tears falling within mere seconds of staring into his knowing eyes. I suck in a tight breath, tilting my head back to keep my tears from dripping on Sarah.
"Hey, it's okay, gorgeous," Noah whispers. I bite my lip, shaking my head no, but he wipes my tears with his big thumbs, retaining his smile. "It is, sweet Omega. Here, let me hold her, and I'll show you what to do."
I suck back tears, stirring Sarah awake. Before she can melt into fussy tears with me, Noah bundles her into one arm. I cover my mouth, but I bust out laughing through my tears anyway - Sarah looks so small against Noah's chest that it looks like he's tucking a football into one arm.
His eyes widen. "What? Am I doing something wrong?"
"No, not necessarily." I laugh. "She just looks like a little mushy pile of baby clothes when you hold her like that."
Noah shuffles Sarah over his shoulder. Planting one massive palm over such a tiny back, Noah flips my heart with his bright grin. "Better?"
I giggle as silently as I can, peeking over Noah's shoulder to check Sarah's expression. After a quick rub over her eyes, Sarah flops in complete trust of Noah, her cheek squished against his shoulder and leaving her lips to hang open.
"Oh, Noah, she's..." I bite my lips. She's totally asleep.
My heart stops when Noah peeks over Sarah's head to meet my eyes. For a second, I feel like I'm looking far into the future. My eyes are still watering, but this time I'm smiling.
"Come here." His low, rumbling whisper sends a warm buzz through my stomach. "Look right here with me, and tell me what you see."
Deflating a little once I remember why Noah took Sarah from me in the first place, I follow Noah's point to the boulder beside us. It's covered in moss, bugs, leaves, and more - so much that I can't even pinpoint a majority of the details on it.
I'm not smiling anymore. The more I look, the more overwhelmed I become.
Noah rubs my back. "There's no wrong answer. What's the first thing you noticed?"
I clear the tears from my throat, standing up straighter. "Moss."
"Hell yeah, there's a lot of moss. That shit's endless, and so many different kinds are mixed into each clump that it's a complete mindfuck, right?"
I sputter out a laugh. "Shh, they have little wolf ears."
He slaps a hand over his mouth, glancing at the pups behind us. When he turns back to face me with wide eyes, my cheeks hurt from smiling. Noah breaks into delighted giggles, kissing my wet cheek.
"It's overwhelming though, right?" He asks.
I bite my lips as my stomach knots into my spine.
God, why is this hitting me so hard? All I can do is nod to keep from crying more.
Noah gives me rapid shoulder rubs. "You're not alone in that. It's super overwhelming for all wolves. Especially before they're given any tools."
This captures every atom of my attention. I dare to look into Noah's eyes, no longer concerned about how mortified I am. Does he mean this struggle is common? That all Lycans start out feeling lost?
Noah gives me a soft smile, drawing me in for a side hug. "You wanna know what I think is happening?"
I nod, peeking up at him. He gives me a heavy forehead kiss before pulling away, allowing me to stand on my own.
Noah gestures across the rock. "There's so much clouding your attention that when you try to track scents, it's all flooding you at once. No one sat down with you and told you how to zoom in." Noah holds his hand out for me, drawing me closer until our noses are a mere inch from the boulder's surface.
Adjusting my hand in his, Noah uses my pointer finger to trace the moss. Dozens of little textural bumps ruffle beneath my fingerpad, reminding me a patch of moss isn't just one plant, it's thousands.
Noah's deep voice is hushed beside my cheek. "How could anyone expect to notice just one of these little tiny plants when they're all the way zoomed out - and have a huge boulder full of life blocking their nose?"
What started out as embarrassment blooms into intense fascination. I grip Noah's hand, guiding him against me until we're hip to hip. "So I can zoom in with my nose? How?"
He grins. "You absolutely can. Stay right here."
As Noah backs away, he turns just before he's immersed in a crowd of pups. He crouches beside one of them, pulled to the ground by an excited pup with the most starstruck smile on her face. Noah's adoring smile warms my heart from here.
Do you remember how I smell? Noah mindlinks.
Yes, I say immediately.
Can you describe it to me? Give me as much detail as possible.
I close my eyes, remembering all I can about Noah's scent. You smell... sweet. Not like cookies, but like love.
That was cheesier than I meant for it to be. When I open my eyes, Noah's cheeks are bright red. I cover my mouth to silence my laughter.
W-what else, other than sweet? He asks.
I clear my throat, turning around. I– Well, you smell... fiery, sometimes? But then it can be stronger depending on your mood. Like when we have sex, you smell spicy. I don't know how else to explain it, other than that it burns me up from the inside out.
Noah doesn't respond to this.
His golden stare peeks through the crowd of pups, zapping my heart down to my knees.
The wind carries numerous scents, but now that I'm paying attention to Noah's, his sticks out like it's screaming. I perk up with a smile. Actually, that's how you smell now.
Noah watches me take a deep, slow inhale of his scent, his eyes fixated on my form. The longer he watches, the clearer I can smell him.
"Alpha Noah, your scent hurts my eyes!" One kid whines.
Noah abruptly stands, turning away. "Sorry. I need to take a walk."
Rainn is red-faced through suppressed laughter as her brother plops Sarah in her arms and makes a beeline for the bushes. When Rainn and I meet wide eyes, we erupt into giggles.
I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to torture you, I mindlink Noah.
No, you're fine. I can't contain my goddamn wolf around you and these precious pups.
My heart flips, forcing me to clamp both palms over my scent glands. I shuffle my feet through the leaves, unsure where to go or what to do with myself. Pups continue to mill about, searching the immediate area for more deer tracks, but I wouldn't be surprised if they complained about my scent too, any second now.
Noah's soft chuckling rumbles in the distance. Goddess, you're so cute.
I bite my lip, turning every way. Noah is nowhere in sight. Are you watching me?
Yes. Come find me, using your nose. You have a hang of my scent now, right?
My heart thumps, partly at my wolf's excitement to chase her mate. But can I really do it?
I don't know; maybe I can, or maybe I can't. All I know is that I really want to.
Okay, Alpha. I'll try.
Noah's excitement only rises as my wolf crouches in our bond, her wagging tail doing nothing to conceal herself. As I draw another deep inhale through my nose, I'm met with so many scents that my brain pounds in my skull. Clasping my forehead with a wince, I close my eyes.
You can do it. Think about what I smell like, Noah mindlinks. Try smaller, faster sniffs rather than deep, big ones.
I exhale hard, clearing all distractions from my mind. My memory fills in a phantom sweetness, doing its best to mock Noah's scent. Or, wait, no. Maybe I smell a hint of it?
My lungs flex through every inhale, instinct taking over as Noah's scent shines brighter in my mind's eye.
Am I doing it? Am I tracking him?
Taking a few steps to my right, I sniff faster now. I feel absolutely ridiculous, but I can't stop myself. Something primal within me has unlocked, and I've never craved Noah's scent more. Pups swirl around my feet, watching me with curious, focused eyes, but I can't stop myself. My feet move faster, kicking up leaves as I ignore all spatial awareness to push through a wide thicket.
A faint crinkle of leaves sends my system into full alert. With a sharp turn of my head, I'm face-to-face with Noah. Except to my surprise, he's just as shocked as I am - and he's covering both his mouth and scent gland to block his scent.
Before I can stop myself, I break into a proud grin.
And I'm tackled into the thicket.
I scream through a laugh, my limbs too weak to defend myself from Noah's kisses all over my cheeks.
"You did it! You did it so fast that I had to make it harder for you, and you still did it!" He laughs.
My eyes water, but I'm smiling wider than I have all day. Scents are so much stronger now, and I still have a slight headache, but I haven't felt this excited over my own accomplishments since I lowered my OCD test scores to subclinical levels. I'm almost embarrassed as pups trample around us, adding to our wolfpile over my childish accomplishment, but as their laughter flutters through the forest canopies, Noah's smile shines so bright that his eyes squint. My heart couldn't be happier.
Until a sharp, stagnant scent passes my nose. Furrowing my brows, I alert Noah's wolf without meaning to. He pulls me to my feet in seconds, his joyous smile fully erased. I feel awful for it.
But Noah tucks pups against him, searching my eyes. "What do you smell?"
I swallow hard, struggling to catch my breath. "I think it's– Well, I don't know–" I sniff again, but Noah shakes his head.
"Don't overanalyze it. Trust your wolf. Something's wrong, and I believe you."
Rainn rushes to our side, her sharp eyes just as serious as Noah's. But the longer we sit in one place, the stronger the scent becomes.
"I think it's a few Alphas," I say.