Dipper POV
The rush of coming out of my subconscious was much worse than what it had been going in. I felt as if someone hollowed out my sides with a wooden spoon, everything ached. Watching it was worse, so much worse, at least when it happened I'd blacked out somewhere in the middle, shutting down entirely till it was over. This time I couldn't do that, physical pain didn't overwhelm my senses forcing me to hear everything, smell everything, and see too much of it. If it hadn't been for Bill I would have watched the whole thing and it would have broken me.
Oh god he saw. Bill watched the whole thing.
I dropped my head in my hands, hiding from him, while trying to quiet the last few sobs that followed me out of my mind. I could feel the dip in the couch where Bill sat, his knee against mine, waiting patiently for my breathing to even out with me.
It did eventually. I could breathe again, I could still feel the ghost of inflicted injuries all over my body, my limbs ache in memory of the weeks I spent after that night nursing wounds that Ford explained away as a "hunt gone wrong" to Stan.
My head spun in an oncoming headache that I could tell was going to stick around for a few days. I groaned.
"Pinetree." Bill started but I shook my head.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"I wasn't going to ask. I meant the spell, I grabbed several pages but Sixer would encode all his work specifically to ward against me. I can't read it."
I nodded into my hands, scrubbing the heel of my palms against my eyes, dropping them away still not wanting to meet his eye. "I can, the codes might be different but I spend enough time reading his other journal, I'm familiar enough with his patterns that I can decode it."
"I know, I have no doubts about you or your abilities." He spoke with a softness that made me look at him against my own nerves. There was no pity, or thinly veiled humor, there was no trace of tenderness or that look Stan would get when he got uncomfortable with me being upset. Instead I found something akin to pride in the glint of his eyes, at the tug of a sincere smile. The pain in my chest subsided and my breath caught behind my teeth. Seeing that he bumped his knee against mine, "However, you should sleep, or lay down in a bed instead of the hall."
I squinted at him, even through the exhaustion pulled at my vision and my head feeling heavy on my shoulders. "Why do you care?"
He huffed, strains of blond hair blown upwards and out of the way of his face before resting back down again the cut of his cheek bone. I had to force myself to meet his eye to keep from staring at the rest of his face. Even like this he was almost painfully attractive. "Look I know people caring about your health and well being is new to you but it's rude to question it when it happens." I stand corrected, Bill was so attractive it was physically hurting me, his voice and his words only cutting deeper into my chest.
Puzzled still, I protested, "Did Bill Cipher say he cares about me?"
He rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed, "Yes, I am a gentleman." As if that was answer enough. Which it really wasn't.
If my body didn't feel like it had just gone through a tornado I might have pushed him further, but the sound of sleeps sweet embrace was stronger than my need to push him about his oddities. "Right, ok."
Neither of us moved. Don't judge, I really did try to stand but every muscle in my legs protested and I knew if I left and tried to lay in that bed I would be just as restless as the night before. A long moment of silence passed as I talked myself into getting up, to get over it and go to bed.
As I stood, turning away from Bill in favor of the door and the awaiting emptiness of my room, a gentle hand wrapped around my wrist. "You said before that you had trouble sleeping in that room, do you think you'll still have trouble tonight?" He asked, joining me on his feet. Just as quickly he let go of my wrist, even stepping back a bit to look me in the eye.
"Probably." I trailed off, there wasn't much of a solution.
"I don't mean to sound like I'm asking about the memory, because I am not." He held his hands up between us, palms up as if he held the promise he'd made me in his hands, "I am asking about the present day you. Is it alright if I touch you?" I gawked at him, taking in the sincerity in his expression, the softness in his eyes, the question on his lips. While my brain short circuited my eyes traced his jaw, the bridge of his nose and shape of his cheek, the up turn to the corner of his eye and long lashes. Even in the blurry haze that filled my vision I could see how earnest he was, his hands clasped patiently in front of him truly waiting for me to answer.
What the fuck. Who is this? Is this even the same guy from early?
"I-" Feeling as if I missed something huge, my thoughts chased one another desperate to know his true intentions. What his motivations might be hidden underneath and the small hope I could ignore it all and be a little selfish for once. "Yes, I guess it's ok."
That softer, kinder, unpracticed smile graced his lips again, it was slowly becoming my favorite of all his smiles. He reached out, with both hands this time, and took mine in his. Guiding me closer to him as he leaned in he whispered, "Close your eyes", in my ear.
Sweet relief swept through my head as I did. Silence engulfed us, leaving me with my own heartbeat in my ears, the warmth of Bill's breath on my cheek.
The smell of sweet honey was met with rich earth, "You can open your eyes now." He murmured against my skin. Prying my eyes open with great effort I found beyond the black velvet shoulder of Bill's vest green grass and pine trees bathed in soft moonlight. Looking around I realized where we were, the clearing in which Bill's statue used to stand.
"How did you..." The thought died on my lips, met with Bill's gaze, yellow eyes glowing softly in the faint light.
"We are still in my office, it just looks a little different." He asked the unfinished question, lifting his head to the sky. Any traces of an in closed ceiling masked by a vastness of stars and almost full moon. Softly he transferred one of my hands to the other, holding both in one and with his free hand he pulled me by the shoulder to the soft earth, "You mentioned sleeping best outside, and I do remember waking to you here with my statue." Heat rose to my ears at the reminder. "I thought this might be the best way to... help."
My body and mind worked separately, letting Bill slowly pull me into his chest, leaning us both back in the grass till we lay together. The pull of sleep once again flooding my broken and beaten mind with the hope of escape. As my body gave into the hold, relaxed into his arms, rested against the soft fabrics of his shirt, my mind drifted further and further away. Layed my arm across his waist as he wrapped me up in his, tucked in closer when he rested his chin against my hair.
"Thank you."
My eyes closed and I was met with immediate, drowning, sleep.
I was met with the first peaceful dreams I'd had in years. They enveloped me, curling in close to share in the warmth of their contents. For what felt like as long as I could remember something was finally able to keep the nightmares at bay, letting in only soft sweet and fleeting dreams of, one thing, one person' smile. If only they stayed with me when I woke up.
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This chapter is super duper short because I was just writing a little fluff that wouldn't have fit well at the end of the last chapter. Also I'm about to write a bit more fluff to bulk up the timeline before jumping into the next conflict, so if you're coming from the original work get ready for brand new content and lots more Billdip!