The wind was like an icy rush in his veins. He quickly pulled out the only scarf he brought with him on his trip. The hues of blue and red contrasted well with the dull morning sky.
With him he carried the large suitcase he had brought months ago and the anticipation of being back in his hometown once more.
He had been all over the world from New York to Jamaica, but something about the liveliness and comfort of Jungjin felt different.
Or perhaps it was the people he had left behind.
His grandparents, both sad and excited when he told them he was leaving for a few months. His grandmother had kissed him on the cheek, while his grandfather fretted over anything he was missing.
Of course, his friends had been a constant to the point that he felt empty without their presence.
Anytime he wanted to make a joke about the American accent or show them a beautiful landmark, he turned to find himself alone.
But the people he found himself missing the most was his Counter family.
Ms. Chu and Motak, two parental figures that he found himself lost without.
Ms. Chu with her worrisome nature and endless empathy and Motak with his witty humor and protectiveness.
Mr. Choi, someone he had come to count on no matter what his concerns were, whether it was his grandparents' safety or the best restaurants to visit.
Jeok-bong had become an older brother to him to the point that he strived to take his advice and use it in any way he could.
But truly, he missed the one person he knew he couldn't.
Do Hana, the love of his life. Or who once was.
He couldn't help but try to distract himself from thoughts of her, but she was everywhere.
In the extra hair tie he found in his luggage or even in the scarf he was currently wearing.
A gift that she had given him for Christmas last year.
"I thought it suited you. Besides, you'll need it for the winter." She said with a bright smile.
And he wore the scarf that whole winter. Now, it was as if he was pulled back into the past.
To a year before. When he had finally confessed, and she had returned his feelings.
Now, they were back to the start.
Family, of course. Yet still strangers.
As if he hadn't fallen in love with her every day since.
As if he wasn't still in love with her.
But he knew why they couldn't be together.
In fact, he agreed with her reasoning.
So, maybe, his decision to come back for Christmas as a surprise was partly because he missed his family so much. But the other half of him really just wanted to see her again.
As he called for a taxi and got in, he stared at the frosty windshield wipers brushing against the glass and looked outside the window.
He was excited to finally be home after months of being away, but the fear still resided in his heart.
The fear that she would look at him and immediately know he hadn't moved on from the past. From her.
A mess of emotions and feelings, who was still just so tired.
He knew he scared her when he almost gave up while in the coma.
The kind of fear that made her overprotective.
She said they needed time. That he needed time to feel at peace again.
He had agreed not because of himself, but because he could see how much it was affecting her.
She was slowly deteriorating alongside him, and he couldn't let her.
He couldn't let her suffer because of him.
So, he let her go.
His thoughts spiraled out of control to the point he almost didn't notice the flash of something in his mind.
An evil spirit.
He looked outside the window and noticed the colorful lights of the territory blooming across the road.
From what he could gather, the evil spirit seemed to be near his old high school.
He quickly asked the taxi driver to change destinations and sat back in his seat. He let out a sigh, both in annoyance and relief.
Perhaps he had more time to collect himself before seeing them. Seeing her.
Unfortunately, luck was not on his side today.
After being dropped off, he quickly took out his luggage and kept it near the entrance of his school.
With that, he closed his eyes and brought forth the territory. That's when he heard a yell from the other side of the building.
He ran to the area he heard the noise, making sure the territory covered the entire place.
In the alley, he found a whirl of bodies fighting against each other. With a glance, he used his telekinesis to send the evil spirit flying against the wall and held him in place.
The evil spirit tried to move but he was unsuccessful. He turned to see who was fighting with the evil spirit by themself.
In front of him was Do Hana dressed in a red hoodie and sweatpants looking extremely exhausted. Her hair was plastered against her forehead and blood was coming out of a wound on her arm. Her face was covered in bruises and a small cut on her cheek.
His eyes traveled across her worriedly, searching for any signs of pain or other injuries.
She just glanced back at him in surprise and scanned his face, memorizing the changes since the last time she saw him.
He turned back to the spirit against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut to calm his racing thoughts. He opened them up again and summoned the spirit.
By the time he returned from Yung, he looked to see Hana wiping the blood from her arm off with her hoodie.
"You're back." She said quietly. The first words she had spoken to him in a long time.
"I am." He stated. His eyes were hesitant, almost as if he didn't know what to say.
She just nodded in response before adjusting her movements against her arm. She let out a hiss in pain, making him immediately move closer to her.
Without hesitation, he quickly used his hands to check for any other injuries while softly rubbing the cut on her face.
She moved away from him, almost as if his touch had hurt her.
He quickly let go of her. He shouldn't be touching her. Not anymore.
"I'm fine, Mun. Let's go back to the warehouse." She whispered, before walking away from him.
All he could do was follow her.
~~~~~~
The taxi ride back to the warehouse was quiet.
So quiet that they could hear each inhale and exhale of their breaths.
He couldn't help but watch her. Cataloging all the changes since the last time he saw her.
Her hair was cut short again and she cut her bangs. Her expression was harder, more expressionless. He felt like he was transported to the first time he met her.
Hana's eyes flickered as she watched him as well.
His hair was cut shorter again and had been dyed an auburn red color. A surprising change, but not unwelcome. He looked taller, leaner, more mature, or maybe that was just her imagination.
His eyes were empty though. The eye bags indicated a continual lack of sleep, one she could see on her own face.
She kept looking at the wound on her arm. It really hurt, but she wasn't about to tell Mun about it.
By the time they made it back to the warehouse, he had brought his things inside and found the warehouse empty.
"Where are the others?" He asked.
Hana pulled out the medical kit and sat down on a chair at the table.
"Ms. Chu and Chairman Choi are out on a date. Jeok-bong is on a blind date at some coffee shop and Motak is working at the police station." She explained as she pulled off her hoodie.
She was in a tank top now, making the wound on her arm more apparent.
He quickly sat down next to her and took the kit from her.
Before she could let out a complaint, he gave her a look.
The look he used to give her every time she would steal the popcorn while they watched movies. The same look he gave her when she would get hurt while protecting him from an evil spirit.
She resigned with a sigh. She was never one to say no to him.
As he took out the ointment, he started slowly cleaning the wound. She kept biting her tongue to avoid letting out a sound of pain.
"Don't do that, Hana. I know you're hiding your pain. Your fingers always twitch when you do that." He replied while continuing his careful ministrations on her wound.
He had started calling her by her name around the time they had started dating. Along with a few nicknames that she had once loved.
She ignored her thoughts and let him continue cleaning her wound.
"Now, are you going to tell me why you've started going after spirits by yourself?" He asked.
"You're one to talk." She responded, completely ignoring his gaze.
He let out a sigh of annoyance.
"Stop ignoring my question." He exclaimed as he bandaged the wound on her arm.
"Everyone was busy. It's Christmas Eve and I was alone, so I thought I could at least do something helpful." She replied quietly.
"Let me guess you've been doing this the whole time I was away." He exclaimed while pulling out the ointment for the cut on her cheek.
"What else was I supposed to do? We both know that I'm one of the strongest on the team and I had nothing else going on." She stated frustrated.
She moved slightly back from him, avoiding the stern look he gave her in response.
"Why are you doing this Hana? You're doing the same thing you told me not to do. You're isolating yourself and taking on too much responsibility." He pleaded with her.
"Because you were gone!" She yelled out.
She shut her mouth immediately and looked down at her hands.
All he did was move closer and hold her hands in his own.
"What do you mean, Jagi?" He asked softly.
There was that nickname again. The one she loved hearing him call her. But now it feels misplaced. Almost as if she was never supposed to hear the word come from his lips again.
"You left. And I hate that I broke up with you. I was just terrified that I would lose you again." She responded, feeling her body tense up.
"I understood why though. I wasn't in a good place. We both needed time to heal." He explained.
His hands went to cup her cheeks and he got to work applying the ointment to her cut.
Maybe it was the reassurance that she had made the right decision all those months ago or maybe it was the warmth of his hands against her face, but she felt herself relax.
He quickly cleaned the wound and bandaged up the cut, before leaning back into his chair.
"You don't have to fake your smiles anymore, Hana. I'm not leaving again." He stated with a bright smile on his face.
With that, she finally let go of her fears and returned his smile with one of her own.
This time, a genuine one.
He couldn't help but be at peace once more.
The warmth of the building in contrast with the chilly breeze outdoors.
The anxiety he once had washed away by the happiness of the person he loved the most.
"I don't know if we're ready to get back to exactly where we were. But we can call it even for now. We can try again, together." He responded while tucking a loose hair behind her ear.
She just gave him a fond look, one that he had grown accustomed to. The look she gave him when he confessed his feelings. The love she had expressed back.
Before she could tell him those three words once more, he just shook his head.
"I know. Do you know?" He asked.
Hana just nodded in response.
The smile took over her expression and brightened her eyes.
"I know too." She stated.
That's when she pulled him closer to her and kissed him.
It was both a passionate but soft embrace.
Her lips moved across his with a gentleness he had missed.
He grabbed a hold of her waist loosely and kissed her back just the same.
She deepened the kiss as she clutched tightly to the shorter strands of his hair.
They might have kissed for an hour or just a few seconds, but to them, it felt like forever.
By the time she pulled away from him, Mun laid his head against hers.
"Let's go outside. It's Christmas Eve after all." He stated.
"Sure, let's go." She responded with a kiss on his cheek.
~~~~~~
"I learned how to drive in the United States. One of the Counters there showed me." He explained as he drove them through the lively streets of Jungjin.
He had rolled down a window, allowing the cool air to flow through the truck.
"I'm shocked they were able to teach you. You sucked when I tried helping you." She laughed in response.
Right around when they started dating, Hana tried to teach Mun how to drive.
It ended terribly. With Hana covered in bruises and Mun somehow bleeding.
Rest assured, she had never tried to teach him after that.
Mun let out a shocked gasp at her comment.
"I'm offended, Jagi. I'm not awful." He exclaimed passionately.
She just raised an eyebrow at him which made him burst out into laughter.
She had missed him. She had missed this.
What she really missed though was his smile.
When he had left, he was still in a bad place. She had broken up with him and begged him to take care of himself.
"I'm fine, Jagi."
"You're not fine, Mun!"
He remained silent at her scream.
"Please. Please just be okay. Go on the trip and have fun, alright?"
All he did was let out a sigh of exhaustion.
"Alright. I love you."
She gave him a small smile, one that he knew was fake.
"I love you too."
Now, it was like he was back to himself.
His smile seemed to take over his face, causing his nose to crinkle.
His smile was the only thing that seemed to take her out of a dark place.
"What are you thinking about, Hana?" He asked, concerned.
He always noticed when she was off. Even after all these months apart.
"Nothing. I was just thinking about how much I missed this." She responded with a glance at him.
"I missed you too." He exclaimed while squeezing the hand she had in her lap.
That's when they both noticed the snow falling.
The busy streetlights lit up the snow and illuminated the sky, making it seem like a fantasy.
She begged Mun to park somewhere so they could go outside.
He quickly found a parking spot and watched as Hana ran out of the car.
She lifted her head up and watched as the snowflakes peppered her skin.
She turned to see Mun just silently watching her while leaning against the car.
She went up to him and pulled him by the arm to where she was standing.
"It's a White Christmas, Mun!" She exclaimed with a bright smile.
"I'm glad I came back today then." He joked.
She smacked his arm with an eye roll.
"I'm kidding. I'm glad I came back to see all of you." He smiled in response.
As the snow came down harder, the moment felt like theirs alone.
Mun took the opportunity to pull her closer by the waist and danced with her on the street.
Hana clutched his shoulders in response and laid her head against his chest.
That's when Mun brought her face to his and kissed her once again.
This time, the kiss felt like a warm blanket. A comfort that she couldn't help but turn to over and over again.
When they finally pulled away, all they did was lean against the car and watch the snow cover the buildings and streetlights of Jungjin.
~~~~~~
They were holding hands when they walked back into the warehouse.
Mun suddenly felt himself engulfed in the warm arms of his Counter family.
"So Mun! When did you come back?" Motak asked.
"Ya, did you eat yet? Did you take a nap?" Ms. Chu questioned worriedly.
"I'm so happy you're back!" Jeok-bong exclaimed with a smile.
"Give him some space, why don't you?" Chairman Choi stated as he walked closer to them with a fond grin.
Chairman Choi engulfed him in his arms as well.
Mun let out a laugh at all the love.
"I missed you all. I came back a couple of hours ago. I haven't slept or anything, but I was spending time with Hana." He explained.
They all turned to Hana and noticed the bandages on her arm and her cheek.
"What happened, Hana? Are you hurt?" Ms. Chu exclaimed in fear as she checked her for any injuries.
"I'm fine, Ms. Chu. Don't worry about me." Hana stated reassuringly.
"Hana over here decided to go fight an evil spirit by herself. I had just got off the plane and I went over to help her." Mun stated with his arms crossed.
Hana gave him a glare in response as Ms. Chu started lecturing her.
"This is a betrayal." She exclaimed in a whisper.
Mun heard her and just let out a snort of laughter.
"I promise I won't do it again, Ms. Chu." Hana replied, which stopped Ms. Chu from continuing with her lecture.
The other Counters just watched the interaction while laughing.
"Come, So Mun. Let me make you some dinner." Ms. Chu exclaimed as she went to cook.
Chairman Choi went to help Ms. Chu as the rest of them sat down at the dining table.
The rest of the night was spent enjoying the company of his fellow Counters.
Motak was complaining to him about how he was basically working two jobs, while Jeok-bong stressed about the fact he couldn't find a girlfriend.
"Hyung, I can help you if you like." Mun offered.
"Great! We can find girlfriends together." Jeok-bong responded, oblivious to Hana's glare.
Mun let out a cough as he choked on his food.
"Jeok-bong, you do realize Hana and Mun got back together, right?" Ms. Chu exclaimed.
"Wait, how did you find out?" Hana questioned, confused.
"We're not idiots, Hana. You both came in here attached at the hip. Also, you made a face when Jeok-bong just suggested finding a girlfriend for him and So Mun." Motak explained while Ms. Chu and Chairman Choi nodded in agreement.
Jeok-bong turned to face Hana, with fear in his eyes.
Mun patted Jeok-bong's shoulder reassuringly.
"Don't worry, Hyung. I'll protect you from Hana." Mun joked.
Hana glared at the both of them sharply.
"Don't think you're safe, So Mun. You betrayed me to Ms. Chu." She stated in a deadpan voice.
That's when Mun whispered in Jeok-bong's ear.
"I think we should run."
And so they did.
~~~~~~
He was completely under the covers, almost half-asleep.
Suddenly, the door opened, and Hana walked in with her hands wrapped around herself.
He immediately sat up and looked at her in concern.
"Jagi, are you alright? Do you need anything?" He asked hastily.
She let out a soft laugh and shook her head.
"Stop worrying so much, Mun. I just wanted to sleep here with you tonight, if that's okay?" She asked gently.
"Of course." He replied.
He moved over to the side of the bed and opened the blanket for her to get in. She cuddled up closer to him and laid her head against his chest.
Mun wrapped his free arm around her body and gently played with the sleeve of her shirt.
"How was the trip, really? No lies." She asked calmly as she intertwined their hands together.
"It was great meeting all those new Counters and traveling, but I missed home. I missed you and this family. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had never become a Counter. Where would I be now?" He responded quietly, afraid that the others might hear.
She just continued playing with his fingers before turning to look at him.
"I don't know why but I have this feeling that we aren't chosen as Counters just because of the goodness we have within or from being in a coma. I feel like we're chosen because of our empathy. Counters have lived lives full of tragedy and sadness so that we might be able to better protect others from those same things." She replied while looking into his eyes.
"Do you think I was always meant to be a Counter then?" He questioned.
She shook her head in response.
"I think we might be chosen by our Yung partners, but at the end of the day, we have full control of that fate. But I know you. I know that in any universe, you would have chosen this. For me, I feel like the series of events led to me deciding to be a Counter. But you had every opportunity to quit or leave, and you didn't." She stated.
"I-I feel like sometimes I regret that decision, but then I think about you and the other Counters. My life wouldn't be so filled with joy, without all of you." Mun exclaimed while using a hand to rub at his face.
She moved from her position and sat up slightly.
"Sometimes being a Counter feels like a curse. Being surrounded by all this tragedy and death. But I know deep down despite regretting it sometimes, I'm glad I am a Counter. We can do things that no one else can and help people. Besides, having this family and you is a plus." She said with a laugh.
His gaze softened and he let out a bright laugh.
"I can't believe I'm just a bonus." He said, teasingly.
"If it makes you feel better, you're my favorite bonus." She winked.
He pulled her back down to her previous position and gave her a small kiss on her temple.
"I'm honored, Ms. Do." He replied.
She cuddled in closer to him and closer her eyes while letting out a sigh of comfort.
"I love you." She whispered as she finally succumbed to sleep.
"I love you too." He whispered back, before falling asleep as well.
~~~~~~
She woke up to the morning light peeking through the curtains of the bedroom.
The bed was incredibly warm, and she cuddled in closer to Mun.
In the months since she had last seen him, he had changed but was still the same boy she had fallen in love with.
His eyes were still shut, but his face looked peaceful. Without the worry lines of stress marring his forehead.
She remembers a time when she was woken up by his nightmares.
They had barely gotten any sleep during that time when Ma Juseok was running rampant.
It was that empathy for Ma Juseok that led him down a downward spiral. A spiral that left her feeling just as exhausted as he was.
She knew they had broken up for a good reason, but she couldn't help but feel lost without him.
Despite his own self-destruction, he was still the kind, loving Mun he always was.
Always worried about his family and her. Making sure to protect them and laughing with them.
That's what helped her make the hard decision.
He was breaking on the inside, but he wasn't taking care of himself. Instead, he was putting all his energy into taking care of them.
So, when he told them all about this trip, she knew what she had to do.
At first, she hated the thought of losing him. Of letting him leave.
But she knew the only way he would save himself was if they were all out of the picture.
The breakup itself was mutual, almost soft and kind. There was no anger or frustration, just defeat and eventual acceptance.
It was once he had left that she had truly realized how reliant she was on him.
Of his conversations and training. Of his jokes and quips. Just everything that made him, her person.
In the end, all of their pain and her regrets were worth it. He came back to her, happier and healthier. That's all that mattered to her.
Still, deep in her thoughts, Mun had woken up and smiled at her softly.
His hair was a curly mess, and his eyes were glazed over with sleep.
"Where did you go, Hana?" He asks, with his deep morning voice.
"What do you mean? I've been here all night." She replies, confused.
"You got that crease between your eyebrows. You only get that when you're thinking or analyzing something. So, where did you go?" He explained softly.
"I was just thinking about how happy you look now. I'm glad that despite everything, you've gotten better." She stated while combing her hand through his messy hair.
"Don't beat yourself up, Jagi. You were always there for me. I think the space was good for both of us. Especially you. You spent all your time worrying about me that I was pulling you down with me." He exclaimed with a sigh.
"I know. I just wish it was different though." She responded as she continued stroking his hair.
"Me too. But it all worked out." He let out a smile.
She smiled back and curled back into the blanket.
That's when the door slammed open and Motak barged in.
"Enough lazing around, both of you. It's time to open presents! Oh, Merry Christmas." Motak exclaimed before leaving just as quickly as he came in.
Mun let out a groan and tucked his head in between her neck and the pillow.
Hana just laughed and started pulling the blankets off.
"Come on, Mr. So. Let's go open some presents." She stated.
He slowly got out of bed, before kissing her softly.
They both held hands as they walked out into the hall.
The Christmas tree they had decorated a few weeks earlier was decked out in lights and ornaments of all sizes and colors.
The Counters were all still in their pajamas as they sat on the ground waiting for them both.
For the next hour, they spent the time together eagerly opening up presents and making jokes.
Ms. Chu took the time to make them some hot chocolate, which they all enjoyed next to the Christmas tree.
Mun had made sure to bring back presents from his travels that he felt each of them would really love.
After the gift exchange, they all sat on the couch and watched a holiday movie on the TV in the spare bedroom.
Hana and Mun were cuddled up together with a blanket and popcorn in hand.
She couldn't help but be distracted by the necklace he had given her. He said he had gotten it from a small jewelry shop while in Paris. It was a simple gold chain with a dainty, but beautiful heart pendant.
She looked back up from the necklace to see Mun watching her fondly.
As they watched the movie, she noticed that the snow from the night before had covered the grass outside the warehouse. The sky was a clear, bright blue and the light was reflecting across the room.
With a sigh, she cuddled in closer to Mun and took hold of his hand.
"Merry Christmas, Mun." She exclaimed with a smile.
"Merry Christmas, Hana." He responded back with a kiss on her cheek.
A/N:
Hi lovelies!
I'm finally back from my vacation, so I'll be back to updating regularly. The next chapter of dancing with our hands tied should be up tomorrow, so look forward to that. I hope you enjoyed this one-shot. I really wanted to highlight the realities of being a Counter, especially for Mun and Hana. The lives of Counters seem to be extremely tragic, but they also have a lot of good that comes from their existence. All these characters deserved better though! I hope you enjoyed it regardless. Let me know your thoughts!
Thank you for reading! <3