Elsa
Even as a child, cold weather had never bothered her. She could play in the snow for hours and not grow cold. She could sleep in the snow, and still feel perfectly fine. Her parents had to explain to her that when Anna was born, that she was different. Anna wasn't allowed the ice rattle she'd made, nor the snow blanket she'd spent hours crafting for the newborn. They'd only allowed her to play in the snow with her after she was a toddler, and even then it was only for an hour or so, and they would take her to get her warm again. She'd tried to understand that Anna's body temperature differed from hers, but she never understood how snow could feel cold to them. How anything could feel cold to them. It was only until she'd frozen in Atohalan that she'd discovered just how dangerous being cold could be, even for someone like her. And now. Now it seemed she could feel every ounce of cold, it seemed to seep out from her, her entire body was freezing, and she couldn't stand it.
If this was what snow felt like to them, to normal people, she'd never complain of the heat again.
Her vision was blurry as she looked up, her gaze drawn to the window. Frost was dancing across the glass, seeping through the walls, crawling across the wood. There were bangs outside. She was too tired to discern exactly what made the sounds, but she knew it was Jack. She could see him again, despite her vow that she wouldn't until the time was right. She'd been stupid, to trust Pitch. She pushed herself up, wanting desperately to help, to fix her mistake. Any blood spilled today would be on her hands, and she'd found that blood reeked. It smelled of copper and death, and it lingered all around her.
"Jack?" She breathed, and her attention drew back to the window.
His silhouette passed it, and she started to step forward. Her leg buckled under her weight, and she hit the ground, her breath leaving her. She closed her eyes, starting to tremble. She was so tired. Maybe she could sleep, for just a little bit. The sound of shattering glass made her open her eyes, and Jack pulled her up off the ground.
"Didn't I tell you to stay awake? And I find you sleeping on the job?"
She would have laughed, if it weren't for the fact it would probably hurt.
"You want to meet your neice or nephew, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Then stay awake."
He set her back in the chair, attacking a monster that was trying to reach in. She wasn't sure how many were left, but she could tell it wasn't that many. Less than a hundred. Since he'd started, they were dropping like flies. He jumped back out the window, and she was left alone again. She could feel the count going down, and after an eternity, she couldn't feel them anymore. Her body immediately sagged in relief, her head falling back so hard pain shot through her skull. She was so exhausted, and it was finally over. Dark spots were dancing in her vision, coating everything her eyes touched, like nightmare sand.
That's what it was, wasn't it? The black spots you saw just before you passed out. Nightmare sand.
Jack's face flooded her vision, and he was saying something, but her ears were filled with the same sand her eyes were. Sandy was there too, and she focused on Jack. He was screaming at her. Shaking her. But she was too tired. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she sank down into the sand, finally warm again.
* * * * *
She awoke in bed, what had to be thousands of blankets laying on her. She slowly started pushing them off one by one, ignoring the sting of pain that flared with each movement. Anna rushed to her bedside, hurriedly helping her pull them off.
"Oh my god. Are you okay?"
"Sure."
Her voice reminded her of the crunch a fallen leaf would make, her throat burning and sore. Anna produced a glass of water, and she eagerly drank it.
"Then what the hell is wrong with you? You almost died!"
"I'm sorry."
"That's it? That's all you have to say to me? I'm sorry?"
"Anna."
Kristoff placed a hand on her shoulder, and her sister shook it off, tears starting to stream down her face.
"No. She always does this. You always do this. You don't even care if you die do you?"
"I do."
"No. You don't. You're still acting like you're alone in the world. You still act like you have nothing and no one to live for. You act like you wish you were still locked away in your palace, with no one to miss and no one who will miss you."
She looked down at her clothes, finding she was wearing a cotton nightgown. Her side still ached, but at least there was no blood.
"Are you even listening? You don't even care do you?" She screamed, and her head pounded in response.
"Anna." Kristoff spoke again, his tone calming.
"For days I sat here waiting for you to die. Waiting for the sound of your breath catching. For the physician to tell me you passed in your sleep. I can't take it anymore Elsa. I can't have my child around someone who doesn't care if they stick around. If you ever do something like this again, that's it."
Her eyes watered, and she looked up at Anna, whose tears had practically evaporated in her anger.
"If you do it again, don't come back."
She turned, and Elsa's gaze trailed after her, watching as the chamber door slammed behind her. Her gaze darted to Kristoff, who had his arms crossed, his attention on the door as well.
"She almost lost the baby."
Her breath left her then, her tears slipping past closed eyes.
"When you came back, bloody, unconscious, barely breathing..."
He sighed, his voice shaking.
"She started bleeding. It wasn't alot. But the doctor demanded bed rest. He demanded she remove all stress. But she... she refused to leave your side."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing. Your word means nothing to me. I could have lost my child, because of you. If you can't be here for Anna, then you don't need to be here. I won't continue to watch her tear herself apart over you. I've tried being nice. I've tried being understanding. But god Elsa. When will it stop? When will you think about her? How your actions will affect her? You're all she has left of her parents."
"She has you." She breathed, and he nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. She'll always have me. Up until I die. You don't have that. You're going to live forever, unless you kill yourself. And Anna is right. Our child won't be around someone who strives to die."
She looked away, shaking her head.
"I... I was thinking of the kingdom."
"Your kingdom was attacked while you were gone. These things came. Unicorns, with-"
"Black sand."
They made eye contact for a brief moment, and her gaze settled back to her lap.
"I'm sorry. I should have been here."
"Yeah. You should have. Lucky for us, Jack was. And he said there were others."
"The guardians. You've met Jack?"
He looked towards the fireplace, and she turned, looking at the empty wall, nothing but dying coals in that direction.
"Only after you got back. Anna met him before."
She returned her eyes to her lap, wondering if he was nearby. She'd seen him during battle, only because she was pushed to the limit again. Because she'd been dying. It was likely she wouldn't see him again, until fate decided otherwise.
"You need to get your priorities straight Elsa. Arendelle should not come before Anna. Or yourself."
"A good queen would-"
"You're not queen. Anna is. Why did you step down if you were going to try to keep doing the responsibilities of a queen?"
Because she felt guilty.
"Anna wasn't ready."
"Yes. She is. You know she can make the hard decisions. She chose to break the dam, knowing it was your grandfather's dying wish for it to stand. She broke the dam, knowing her home would be washed away. She isn't a child anymore Elsa. She's a grown woman, and she's braver than you give her credit for. She's lived through your death. She knows the pain it causes. She knows that the pain she felt for one day, would follow her for a lifetime. Stop trying to inflict that pain on her again."
"She shouldn't have had to do any of that."
"But she did, because you made her. You're the one that walked into Atohalan knowing the price you'd pay. You're the one that froze an entire kingdom, and refused to even try to fix it. You're the one that threw yourself in front of the blade time and time again, disregarding all who would be hurt by your injury."
She didn't respond, her eyes watering again.
Everything she'd done, she'd done because it had. To. Be. Done.
"As royalty, you should know that your kingdom bleeds with you. A part of Anna died the day you did. Do not put her through it again."
He walked towards the door, pulling it open.
"Elsa?"
She glanced up, finding his expression much softer than it had been.
"We love you. And we're glad you're okay."
She nodded, and he slipped into the hall, closing the door behind him. She slowly stood, grimacing as she made her way over to the mirror. She pulled up the nightgown, her gaze landing on the ugly stitches that would surely leave a scar. But at least it looked better than it had. She touched the skin around it, flinching from the sting of pain that followed. Frost started crawling across her mirror, and she let her nightgown drop. Two figures were drawn in the snow, a man in formal attire, and a woman in a ballgown. They were pulled from the snow, holding each other closely as they danced around the room. She turned to watch them, jealous as the two slowed their dancing, more occupied with one another than their dance. They exploded, and she turned back to the mirror.
'Scars are sexy. Love you Snowdrop, see you around.'
"I love you too."
Frost started at her feet, and she turned, watching it trail across the carpet to the window. It opened, and after a moment closed. She turned back to the mirror, reaching up and wiping the frost away. She left three words, coating them with permafrost.
Love you Snowdrop.
Jesus christ yall I am so sorry this chapter took so long. I'm busier than ever and the holidays coming up ain't helping. Thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoyed. Until next time, Hopefully it will be a lot faster than this time.