"You can stay a little longer,"
He shoves me back onto the bed, my smile slightly fading,
"I'm being serious, I have to meet my father."
He doesn't process a word I said as he grabs both my legs, pulling me towards him. A wicked laugh slips from his lips and I shake my head hoping that would be enough to stop him.
"You are mine and only mine, I want you to remember that, Bella."
I hiss at the sharp pain in my hand. My fingernails were tightly tucked into a fist while I was sleeping, making semi-bloody nail marks in my skin.
The same exact dream again.
The time reads 6.32 from the clock on the wall and I figure that staying awake is the best thing for me to do since I have to wake up in an hour.
Hotels aren't the best thing in the world so Nikolai got us a penthouse to stay in. But even in this big space, it feels like I'm still suffocating.
I put my joggers over my leggings and head straight for the elevator. As I pass the mirror, there are many flaws about me that I wouldn't normally let anyone see but my physical appearance can wait.
The door opens on the ground floor and I walk down the stairs and out of the door.
I was running like my life depended on it because in some way, it was.
Down the road and away from the main city, I'm hoping there's some sort of escape from the hell I'm living in.
I haven't heard from my father in two weeks and my life is slowly falling apart. The worst fear I have is abandonment.
No.
Actually, my worst fear is being used and having nothing left. Nothing like that can happen again. Not after Chase.
Fuck this.
I stop running and my chest heaves up and down. The cars go past in a blur and I realize how dizzy I'm getting.
A hand grips my waist and I don't hesitate at all. My hand instantly reaches for my thigh holster, grabbing a knife. I plunge it deeply into the right side of their chest swiftly and their silence that follows is deafening to my ear.
The little color in my face drains as I'm met with Sage.
His body falls limp and all of his weight is put onto me but I push him off, taking back my blade from his wound.
I'm a mess.
Rolling his body to the outer edge of the sidewalk, I run back to the hotel. The blood on my shirt sticks to my skin and the sweat on my forehead drips down my entire face.
I refuse to believe the last thirty minutes have actually happened.
Sage is still alive.
I have my life together.
As long as I continue to tell myself this, I'll be fine. The elevator dings and the doors open without a sound.
I spend the next fifteen minutes cleaning myself up and when I try to get the blood out of my shirt, I can't bring myself to even touch it.
I'm not a killer.
I don't even know why I carry these knives around everywhere with me. The room door is slightly ajar and Nikolai's shadow appears from around the corner, meeting my heavy eyelids
I don't know if it's from the lack of sleep or because I've been a mess these days. Either way, they're just as bad as each other.
"You okay?," He walks past the bloodied shirt on the floor and I use my feet to kick it under the bed before he could see.
I hum in response, hanging my head down and Nik clears his throat.
"We're going dress shopping today," He puts his hand out to get me up from the floor.
I put my shaking one in his and I'm pulled forward, muttering a 'thank you', I march towards the bathroom.
»»———- ———-««
Dress two hundred and seven.
At least that's what it felt like.
Michelle, our dress guide, has been making me try on dresses and I truly believe she has something against because all the dresses I've tried on so far don't hug my body the way I want it to and I know she sees it.
Nikolai pounds on the other side of the fitting room door and I huff. I try pulling down the zipper on my own but it comes right off its slide. I stare at the mirror opposite me in frustration as if that would make me feel better.
These dresses are really trying to tell me something.
I glance at the price of the dress and my eyes almost fall out of my sockets. Ten grand for a dress is something I've never seen before. All of my dresses have totaled to a number of two thousand but never more. I grimace at the dress, putting it on the hanger.
I walk out with the zipper in one hand and the broken dress in the other. Nik shakes his head at me and I roll my eyes. Just around the corner, I find Michelle leaning against the wall, concentrating on her phone. I clear my throat and she glares at me but she fixes her face.
"Are you happy with this one?" Michelle puts on a fake smile, ripping the dress from my hands.
"Mhm," I hum in defeat, "We'll take the dress with us,"
She throws me imaginary daggers with her eyes as she goes behind the counter to check us out.
"Name?"
"Mikayla Cikari," I speak slowly.
She stops midway and cancels the payment method, shoving the dress into a bag. I watch her closely, narrowing my eyes.
"What are you doing?"
She doesn't meet my eyes and her once-bitchy attitude has vanished. Nikolai takes the bag from her and heads for the door but when he sees I don't move, he grabs my wrist and drags me out the door.
The day has gotten brighter from when we first arrived here at seven in the morning. The streets were fuller and I was still dressed in my oversized pajamas.
"Wait," I pull my hand back, "If I had actually run away, Damien and his Father would've found me by now,"
Nik sighs and he doesn't need to say anything else because I know what's going to come out of his mouth.
"Does he know we're here?" I cross my hands impatiently.
"Does he know you killed an innocent?" He snaps back and my hands immediately fall to my sides.
I thought I did a good job at hiding the shirt but I guess not. Nik doesn't look at me for any longer as he heads into the car and I follow shortly behind, leaving a little distance between us.
I get into the car, avoiding Nik's apologetic eyes. I hug the bag closely to my body.
All I can think about is Sage. No matter how much of a dick he was, he never deserved death. This isn't how I wanted my first kill to go. Call me crazy, but I wanted it to be someone that had nothing else but death coming to them.
My phone flashes with the same 'No Caller ID' from when Adora last had it.
I hesitantly answer the phone, holding it up to my ear so Nik can't hear. The line goes dead once again and I try calling back but they decline.
Weird.
The car stops and I look out of the window thinking we're at the penthouse but I frown when I see an airport.
"Why are we here?" I lean forward.
"You had a two-day break, Mikayla. You can't keep running from your problems."
In the rear-view mirror, Nikolai throws his head back softly and a feeling starts to make its way into my stomach.
I don't bother arguing. I want to scream. I want to run away from everything and have a normal life but I can't. Today is already as stressful as it can get.
I get out of the car, walking up the plane stairs and just from halfway up, a wave of pastries from the kitchen hit my nose. When I reach the inside, a shelf filled with all types of alcohol is the first thing I see as I walk to a random seat.
Nikolai is nowhere to be found on the plane but at the same time, I didn't really search for him at all.
I slouch in my seat and stare out of the window, peering down over the city below us.
The longer I stay in the air, the more I feel a growing pain in my chest. I don't want to go back to Damien. I can't stand his attitude or snarky remarks. He makes me wish I had stabbed him instead of Sage.
I reach for the Hennessy on the wall and I don't bother getting a glass, drinking straight from the bottle, the thirst being quenched by a bitter taste.
Nik hasn't said a word to me since we stepped foot onto the plane and I don't blame him. If I was him, I wouldn't want to talk to me either.
The entire flight is spent drinking bottle after bottle and I'm baffled at how I haven't passed out yet.
When we land, everything goes past a blur and I don't even know how I make it down the stairs without tripping.
"Are you okay?"
I snap my head in the direction of the voice. Dante stands a few feet away from me with Adora behind his leg.
"Yeah why?" I smile, going in to hug Adora.
She runs towards me with a big smile on her face and I lift her up, engulfing her in a big hug. Only then, do I realize how much I reek of alcohol and I break our hug, giving her back to Dante.
"Your hands are shaking,"
Are they?
I look down and I immediately clench my hands to get some control. Dante raises a brow but I move my eyes away from him. He doesn't question me further as he opens the car door for me and I walk in quickly.
The window next to me rolls down and I mentally thank Dante. I didn't want to add the guilt of almost killing a child onto the already existing ones.
The entire ride 'home', Adora randomly turns to me and every time I catch her staring, she bursts out in a fit of giggles. The idea of returning back is terrifying. As soon as I walk through that door, it's over for me. Damien and Capo would literally want to have my head on a stick.
Most of the drunkenness in me has gone away but I still feel a little tipsy and on edge.
Dante says he's taking Adora home and tells me to have a good night with a splash of good luck.
When I walk through, I'm expecting a gun to be pointed at my face but surprisingly, there isn't. The house is eerily quiet.
I walk up the stairs, slowly. Taking my time to go up on each step.
Hushed voices make my heart stop and I don't move anymore.
One voice sounds light and vulnerable, but the other echoes in the entire hallway.
Damien.
The breath gets knocked out of my lungs as my chest starts heaving. Whatever he's doing sounds like nothing has changed since I've left.
My phone rings and the voices stop.
Shit.
I walk up the rest of the stairs, pretending as if I had just arrived. Only then did I see how much of the situation I missed out on.
Damien stands there with a gun in his hand and someone else is tied up in a chair in the middle of the hallway.
Seeing me doesn't phase him as he cocks the gun back and pulls the trigger mercilessly. The person's body falls limp the same way Sage's body did so and I lock eyes with his lifeless but open ones. Something about the way he's positioned makes me uncomfortable so I pull my eyes away.
I don't say a word, entering my room and locking the door behind me.
It's sad to think about what I've started to be;
A vulnerable soul in great affliction.
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Thank you for reading 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐢𝐦.
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