The application process took a while, and the studying and testing took even longer, but eventually it was official. Wamuu, Santana and Esidisi were all officially citizens of Mexico, and thus protected from the SPW via international law. Whamerta had taken the test in the place of Wamuu (as they still hadn't unfused) and had passed with flying colours. The SPW had come clean about the existence of Stands and Pillar Men, yet had made it absolutely clear that no slumbering pillar people should be awakened, in fear of the New York Crisis happening again. Not only that, all Stand Arrows were held in secure vaults, as not everyone struck by one could develop a stand. Because of the reveal, there had been an enormous media storm over Roberta and Wamuu becoming one being.
The internet exploded, TV and the press went insane, and Monsterfuckers everywhere rejoiced. Whamerta had been on Oprah and Graham Norton, and publishers everywhere were clamouring for Esidisi's story as a prehistoric vampire who'd seen most of history. Financial aid from fans and supporters poured in from all around the world, and Whamerta took advantage of this by paying for better security in the museum, and for all manner of repairs so that it could inspire others the way it had inspired them. Kakyoin had even said that she could keep her job once Whamerta unfused, which left only two loose ends.
Roberta's mates and Wamuu's family.
It was a normal, dark December day, and the Big Apple Battle-axes were training at their usual spot. Without their jammer they were struggling (Whamerta didn't have half the roller derby knowledge that Wamuu did), and with the finals looming next week, tensions were high.
"Dammit!" Dana grunted, tripping over her skates. She tossed her box braids over a shoulder, and sighed.
"I miss Roberta." She pouted. "Whamerta's great, but they're not the girl I once knew."
"I wonder what happened to that Jorge guy?" Lizzie pondered, putting her mouth guard in. Just then, the gym doors opened, and a familiar figure walked through.
"Oh, hi Whamerta!" Kylie smiled. "How was London?" The fusion had been flown to London to talk on Graham Norton's show, and had just gotten back.
"Pretty chilly this time of year. I got you some British confections, though." They replied, handing Kylie a bag of Jelly Babies.
"Everyone, I've got a confession to make." Whamerta said to Roberta's team. The four girls faced them, and they began.
"Jorge didn't ever exist, he was just Wamuu in disguise. I'm sorry that I lied to you, there is no honour to it, but I had to come clean." They said, looking at their sandals.
"Hey, it's no biggie! Anyway, you had to cover for Wamuu or else his crazy dad would find him." Valerie grinned, giving finger-guns.
"Anyway, we've missed you. When are you going to unfuse? The Battle-axes need their star jammer back, as we're playing against the Austin All-Stars next week." Dana said.
"I can unfuse when both halves are happy to be themselves, and devoid of self hatred. It's hard, but... Ever since Mark leaving and being awakened from the museum, I've really felt confidence return to me. Fuck, I saved New York! And if someone as amazing as Wamuu can love me, just as Roberta loves him... Then maybe I deserve to be happy with myself!"
A bright light blazed from Whamerta, and they split apart into two people again, one tall and one short. Wamuu was squeezed into Roberta's work clothes of a collared shirt and black trousers with a pink blazer, and Roberta looked like a warrior princess in Wamuu's halter top, loincoth and gladiator sandals.
"We're separate!" The pillar man gasped, as Roberta covered her chest and blushed. He quickly handed her the blazer, and she covered herself up.
"Does that mean that I don't hate myself anymore?" Roberta asked.
"It's not something that you can just switch off, especially after so long of basing your self-worth on what you can do for others. But we've realised that we are worthy of affection, to enough of a degree for the arrow to allow us to unfuse." Wamuu replied. The arrowhead was in Roberta's pocket, and she called out Living Dead Girl. The mummy stand appeared, and she hugged her user upon seeing her.
"I thought I'd lost you, Roberta!" The stand cried.
"Where did you go, deadhead?" Roberta asked, pulling away from her stand.
"I was in the void that stands go when not called upon. I missed you, but Star Platinum was there, so was that hot bird guy. We had a pretty interesting chat about Ancient Egypt."
"Jotaro knows about archaeology?!" Roberta asked.
"No, but his stand does. Most of his knowledge is outdated though, like it's Victorian or something. Weird..."
"Is she talking to her stand?" Dana asked Kylie, as Roberta appeared to be chatting to thin air.
"Yep!" Kylie replied. "We all do at times."
"Anyway, guys- the Battle-axes are back in Business! The All-Stars had better watch out! But first, I've got to return something special..."
As Roberta headed back to her Apartment (back in her own clothes, thank God), Wamuu headed off on a errand of his own. He'd gotten a job as a personal trainer, and his waiting list was years long because of his intensive routines, letting him make a pretty decent living. Roberta took the lift to the top floor, and knocked on the penthouse door.
"Roberta, you're unfused!" Kakyoin gasped when she answered the door.
"Can I see Jotaro?" She asked. Kakyoin nodded and let her in, to where Jotaro was reading a book on the sofa.
"Roberta?" He said when she came in. Roberta handed him the arrow, and looked down.
"I'm sorry for being stupid back then, and not sounding the alarm on the Pillar Man awakening- so here's your arrow back." She said, knowing tha he'd get it to the SPW. Although she deeply loved Wamuu, she regretted making Jotaro so angry, and felt bad for putting his grandfather in danger, which made Jotaro's response all the more surprising.
"No, Roberta, I'm sorry. You were amazing out there, you saved humanity from the Pillar Men- well, so did Wamuu- and you've made Noriaki so happy with your restoration. I acted on instinct because I feared for gramps, and... I upset you. I didn't mean to, and I should've just been honest with you with the museum."
He put his book down, and Roberta sat opposite him on the sofas.
"You were just scared of their vampirism because of that quest to kill your great-great-uncle, the one who regrew himself from his head and was a vampire." She said with a comforting voice. Jotaro flinched, but nodded.
"Yeah, I was scared. It's funny, though- with Star Platinum around, I felt that I knew every next move Dio was gonna make. And if he's my stand, I guess I knew in my soul that I was strong enough to get through- just like how your Stand got you through all of this."
He extended his hand in a handshake position, and Star Platinum did the same with his.
"Let's try this again. Let's restart our companionship. I can't hate you, you made Noriaki so happy- and I guess you remind me of myself."
"Sounds like a plan." Roberta said, shaking his hand. Star Platinum and Living Dead Girl did the same, communicating in a language of "Ora"s and "Huyeeek"s (To those who weren't her user or other Stands, Living Dead Girl sounded like a screeching zombie from a horror film). As Roberta left the apartment, her stand floated alongside her.
"So you and Jotaro aren't foes anymore?"
"Nah, we're not. What about you and Star Platinum?"
"Oh, we were never really enemies. Stand stuff is like a punch-clock job, ya know? Anyway, he's very polite, but he's kinda odd."
"Odd how?"
"He said that I would've gotten along well with some chick called Erina. Dunno when he got to meet fancy-sounding ladies like that, Jotaro's gay. He talk like a fucking BBC newsreader too, I love it!"
"How bizarre..." Roberta simply smiled.
Meanwhile, Wamuu had reached his destination. La Munequita had always been a popular restaurant, but business was booming now that they had a new chef. He'd cook on a hot griddle in front of the customers, akin to a teppanyaki restaurant, and his bold mix of traditional flavour and modern innovation made him a hit with everyone. His peculiar backstory helped too, as did his striking red locks. Wamuu walked into the restaurant, and took his reserved seat by the grill.
"What'll it be?" The chef asked.
"I feel like some Tikin Xic... Brother." Wamuu said. Santana looked up, grinned, and simply picked up his spatula.
"On the building... Or whatever humans say when you don't have to pay."