Ship/duo/trio: dreamnap
Genre: Angst - fluff (mainly fluff)
Plot/summary: Dream used to be in an abusive relationship, but Sapnap helped him in the recovery process. 3 years later, they agreed to get into a relationship, but why does it feel so wrong when they go any further than a hug? (Something they've always done before they were dating). Why does he find it so hard to trust Sapnap? He's not her. He will never be her. So why do his hands feel like her's when his touch is meant to be loving? Why does touching him feel so wrong?
Or
Dream slowly warms up to being in a relationship with Sapnap, and each sign of progress makes Sapnap fall more and more in love.
Trigger warnings: abusive relationships, flashbacks, implied ptsd, physical, and emotional abuse.
AUs: none
_____________________________________________
3 years ago.
It was 3 years ago that Dream finally managed to break free from his toxic ex. 3 years ago, Dream finally built up the courage to reach out, and ask Sapnap for help. Cry in his arms while he told him about all of the horrible things she did to him. But he was free. All thanks to Sapnap, and he could never thank him enough.
3 years later.
3 years later, he and Sapnap are in a relationship. He and Sapnap have given each other their trust, poured their hearts out and surrounded each other in the warmth of their love. But not in the warmth of their arms. Not yet.
Dream is fine with hugs. They did that all the time before. But cuddling? Holding hands and kissing? Not as easy. He can hold Sapnap. Wrap him up in his big arms while they watch a show. But he just can't let himself be held. It's too hard. It's too... vulnerable. Something he just can't let himself be. Not after everything she did to him.
_____________________________________________
"Shit, I forgot I have to pick my sister up from school today," Dream said as he stood up from the couch.
"Awe man," Sapnap pouted.
"I know, I'm sorry. She's going to her friend's house though, so we'll still get some time to hang out," Dream promised as he walked over to the door where his shoes lie.
"Why can't she just get a ride with them?" Sapnap asked.
"He goes to a different school, so it's just easier if I drive her," Dream explained.
"How are they friends then?"
"You ask too many questions. They've literally grown up together. Our parents were friends with their parents in highschool, so we've known that family since like- birth I guess. They didn't have any kids my age though, so she's the only one who's really friends with their kids," Dream answered.
"Oh okay. Wait he?" Sapnap said.
"Yes, he. Like I said, family friends. Nothing weird going on. Even if there was, I'd be fine with it, he's really sweet," Dream said.
"Okay..." Sapnap skeptically said.
"I thought I was supposed to be the overprotective brother," Dream mumbled.
"What was that?" Sapnap asked.
"Nothing!" Dream giggled, grabbing his keys.
"Alright, I'm off. I love you!" Dream smiled. There was silence for a moment. One second longer and Dream's heart dropped.
No.
No God no.
Fuck, no no no.
_____________________________________________
"I love you," Dream smiled.
"Really?" She scoffed.
"Mhm!" He happily confirmed.
"Hm... okay," she shrugged.
"You- uhm. A-are you not going to say it back?" Dream asked.
"Eh. Nah," She dismissed. Dream felt his heart drop to his stomach.
"Why?" He asked.
"I don't know. You're too much work. It's hard to love someone that needs so much... "correcting" all the time," She said. Correcting. Corrections, corrected. Correct. A word she uses to describe her "punishments" for him. A word she uses to make hitting him, kicking him, shoving him to the floor, and treating him like a punching bag, sound less inhumane. A word she uses to make it sound like a treatment that had to be earned. He had gotten used to hearing the word so much that he ended up using it just as much, if not more.
"W-what?" His voice shook.
"Oh Clay... you really thought I loved you? I'm only here because you're such a fun toy to play with. Sure, you're adorable when you're crying, begging me for mercy, but other than that? You're good for nothing but my entertainment. And if I'm being completely honest, thinking I could ever love you is a mistake. A mistake that needs to be corrected," She said.
"No- please, God no," He cried.
"You are unlovable, Clay. I'll make sure you don't make the mistake of believing otherwise, ever again."
_____________________________________________
"Nick?" Dream asked. He heard shuffling, and then footsteps coming towards him.
Fuck.
He's going to be corrected.
Wait what? When did he start using that word again?
Before he could say anything, comforting arms were wrapped around him. Arms that intended to love him. Intending to hold him with the utmost care.
"I love you too," Sapnap smiled. Dream let his muscles relax, and lightly sighed as he wrapped his arms around Sapnap.
He was okay. He wasn't going to be corrected. There was nothing to correct. His heart was slowly floating back to it's place, and a light smile found its way to his lips.
"Fuck- okay," Dream sighed, letting his chin rest on the top of Sapnap's head.
"Shit, did I scare you?" Sapnap asked, being fully aware of that agonizing day Dream had just remembered.
"A little. But that was my mistake. I should never have doubted you," Dream giggled, holding Sapnap closer. They lightly giggled and took in the warmth of this embrace before Sapnap spoke up.
"Okay, you gotta go," Sapnap said.
"Yeah. Okay, Bye," Dream said, then pressed a quick kiss to Sapnap's forehead. "I love you."
"I-I love you too," Sapnap repeated. Dream smiled and made his way over to the door. When the door closed, the house went silent. The only noise that could be heard was the very faint sound of Patches purring on the couch.
That was the first kiss he had ever received from him. He was always a bit nervous to kiss him, but today, he just proved that he had gotten over that bump in the road. He had made another step towards recovery, and felt safe enough to test the waters with him. And it seemed to go pretty well.
Sapnap couldn't help but jump around, cheering and giggling with glee. He was making progress. They were making progress.
_____________________________________________
"I love you," Sapnap smiled.
"W-what?"
"I love you," He repeated. The two were sitting on the couch watching a show together, and there was a moment where not too much was going on, so Sapnap decided to remind Dream how much he loves him. But there was a certain response he was hoping for, and it's not the response you'd expect.
_____________________________________________
"I love you."
"W-what?"
"I love you, Clay. Aren't you going to say it back?" She asked.
"but I thought you said-"
"I said I love you and you're going to say it back. I put in so much work just to keep you in order, I expect to be acknowledged for that because fuck- you are a chore. I have to keep correcting you, and it gets exhausting, love."
"But I can't-"
"Don't make this time one of those times,"
"I love you too..."
"Good."
_____________________________________________
"I-..." Sapnap had a hopeful look on his face. Once that said "You can do this".
"I... I don't feel like saying that right now?..." Dream was praying that this was one of those times. His shoulders tensed, hoping that was the right thing to say. But every tense part of his body relaxed when he saw Sapnap's bright smile. A proud look on his face.
"Good! I'm so proud of you, baby," Sapnap exclaimed. Dream let out a sigh of relief, and practically melted when Sapnap gave him a hug. "Do you realize what you just did there?" Sapnap asked.
"I-... I set a boundary for myself?" He hesitantly said, a bit unsure about himself.
"Exactly! And what boundary was that?" Sapnap asked. He was proud. A few months ago when they talked about this boundary, Dream was really unsure and was practically terrified to not reciprocate the loving words. Now he's slowly warming up to it. He was proud of his boy.
"Saying "I love you" isn't an obligation. If I don't feel comfortable to say it for any reason, I shouldn't have to," Dream said. They have gone over this a few times, and each time gets easier and easier.
"But?"
"But there are times where one of us may need that reassurance, and that is when it can be expected. Saying "I love you" should be something that we say whenever we want or need without consequence. And it should never be considered a reward."
"Good job, honey," Sapnap smiled. "I'm so proud of you." Dream couldn't help but smile and blush at the praising words, them being everything he never got in his past relationships.
"Thank you. But to be fair I love you too. And that's not cause I feel obligated to say it," Dream giggled.
"Yeah?"
"Mhm. You have been so helpful the past few months, and I honestly don't understand how you're so patient. You're basically re-teaching me what a relationship is like without treating me like some clueless baby. That's something I've had a few people do," Dream explained.
"Really?" Sapnap asked.
"Mhm. Made the mistake of dating a bit too soon after everything and learned that people can he very patronizing," Dream chuckled.
"Yikes," Sapnap grimaced.
"Yeah. But you don't do that. And it's nice," Dream smiled. Sapnap was happy he could help Dream learn to recover, as well as learn how to help him.
"Well- I'm glad I can be better," Sapnap blushed.
"You're perfect. Don't you ever doubt that, okay?" Dream said. Sapnap nodded.
"Okay."
_____________________________________________
Sapnap and Dream were hanging out with George and Karl. They all joked about it being a double date, but George was straight so they were all just hanging out as friends. They were at a restaurant, talking and waiting for their food when Sapnap felt something. He felt something warm on his thigh. He looked down and there Dream's hand was, just resting there.
Holy shit.
Dream has never done that before. Especially in public. It was mainly due to the fear of fucking something up due to his exes manipulation.
"Y'know, it's kinda weird when you do that. It's a bit possessive..."
Sapnap reassured him that it was fine and that he wouldn't be possessive for doing it, but Dream was still reluctant. Sapnap wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't sure if he should place his hand on top if Dream's, or just stay there sitting stiff and awkward. Dream seemed to pick up on his worry, and turned his hand over. He was asking to hold his hand. Sapnap grabbed his hand and smiled as they intertwined their fingers. This was the first time they have held hands in public. And it felt great.
When he finally looked back up from their hands, he saw George's curious eyes looking at him. He just smiled at George and then placed his focus back on the conversation. Even then, he was struggling. Because he couldn't stop thinking about one thing. That one thing being:
He was deadly in love with Dream.
_____________________________________________
They were about to watch a movie together. Sapnap got to pick the movie while Dream made the popcorn. They had this night planned out for days, and it was nice to finally put it into action. So when Dream walked back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn, Sapnap smiled up at him with nothing but pure love and joy. He opened his arms, an offer for Dream to lay in his arms. To let himself be held. He always did this, and Dream always appreciated it. It was a way for him to ask are you ready? Without having an awkward conversation every night.
Dream thought for a moment. He always took a moment to think. Am I ready to let myself be vulnerable? He would always ask himself.
"Sure. Let's try it," Dream said. Sapnap lit up. He quickly shifted around to a position that would be more comfortable for Dream, and put his arms out, making grabby hands. Dream chuckled at how adorable he was and slowly got on the couch. He crawled over and hesitantly laid down. Sapnap was so patient, not daring to touch him until he got the okay. And when he did, he was gentle. He placed a soft and light hand on Dream's shoulder blade, soothing him down. Dream slowly rested his head on Sapnap's chest, body still tense and untrusting. He felt as though he shook like a lost puppy, but Sapnap never said anything. So maybe he wasn't?
Sapnap let his hand rest on his shoulder blade, refusing to let it roam until permitted. Permission was granted. He let himself gently rub Dream's back, and couldn't fight the smile on his face when Dream relaxed into the touch. As Sapnap rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head, Dream slowly relaxed, each and every muscle letting themselves rest. Dream melted into Sapnap's chest, letting out a soft and content sigh as he came to a realization.
He was safe.
He was safe.
Sapnap was safe. Sapnap would keep him safe and protect him no matter what. He wanted nothing more than to love him and protect him from any danger. He would never hurt him. He couldn't. Because he loved him. He was loved. He was loved, and cared for, and oh so safe. That thought alone was enough to make him emotional.
"Thank- thank you," Dream cried.
"For wha- oh baby what's wrong?!" Sapnap immediately stopped what he was doing, bringing his hands to Dream's cheeks to wipe his tears.
"For- for keeping me safe. For loving me and- protecting me and just- being someone I can trust," Dream sniffled, nuzzling into the hand wiping his left cheek.
"Of course, my love. I'm glad I could be that person for you," Sapnap smiled, fighting back the tears welling up in his own eyes.
"I couldn't see myself with anyone else," Dream giggled, sniffling and resting his chin on Sapnap's chest.
That night was one of the best nights of their lives. It was the night that recovery really showed itself. The night where things could only go uphill from here. The night where love officially became unconditional.
_____________________________________________
2472 words
NO PROOF READING
HOPE U ENJOYED :)