A V N I N A S H
Once upon a December, I stumbled upon a pair of gorgeous doe Bambi eyes. It was the month of December when she joined the same tuition I was studying in. Small frame, small doe eyes, baby face, a dimpled smile. But her dimples were unique, just like her. She didn't have dimples on her cheeks rather they appeared below her lips whenever she smiled. She was innocent yet witty, her sarcastic attitude and sassy personality was what made me attracted towards her.
It wasn't love or something but she left me with mixed feelings always. Was it admiration? Crush? Attraction?Momentary liking? Or was it love? I was confused, and that's what always irked me about her. She was the chaos in my simple peaceful life, a trouble in paradise.
I didn't like her because she was some extraordinary beauty, I liked her because she was just Simran, she was herself more than acting on impulse. She wasn't fake or acted otherwise.
I was aware of her feelings towards me, I knew she had a crush on me during those school days, but I brushed it off thinking it was just stupid hormones fooling with her. But boy I was so wrong, she was all over the place. Whenever, wherever I'd go I would find her there. My friends started teasing me with her which irked me a lot.
She thought I wasn't affected but I was. I would feel giddy whenever she would glance at me. I would wait for her every day in tuition, I would not exit the class during lunch break not before I'd see her standing near the door. Without her knowledge, I'd seek glances towards her during sports practice, but I didn't make it obviously and I guess that was my mistake. That I never made it obviously and now it was too late.
My friends often made fun of us, shipping her together much to my annoyance. Back then I was confused about my feelings muddled in my chaos when I met Vidhi. Tall, graceful, full of smiles, and an ace in everything. She was my senior by one year.
She went to a all girl's school, we didn't share the same school or tuition. But I knew her because she was my neighbour. Her family had just shifted into the bungalow beside ours. Her father was in the shipping business and our families had several dinners together. At first, I didn't acknowledge her but slowly we started having a conversation and we instantly clicked. She was fun to be with, she didn't make me nervous around her, and my heart wasn't eccentric in her presence I was rather calm with her. She was simple but extraordinarily studious. She played violin, she was the basketball team captain and was a great orator.
My mother had a different liking towards her and she would do her very best to stick us together. More than her's I would find vidhi in our house. And that's when everything started.
After a year of our friendship, Vidhi confessed that she liked me. I was confused because I didn't feel the same so I turned down the offer. But then because of the continuous teasing and shipping with Simran, I acted on my impulse, in the heat of the moment I'd proposed to Vidhi to be my girlfriend which she happily agreed to.
I remembered Simran had then started mentioning the distance between us. She was more closed off and distant than before. The teasing had stopped completely and I was finally at ease for the time being. But I didn't feel at peace like I wanted to. There was always a nagging feeling in the back of my head.
My momentary happiness was short-lived when after 10 months of dating Vidhi I broke up with her. She was moving with her family to a completely different state and she didn't want to have a long distance resulting in our breakup.
I thought it would hurt me but I was wrong I didn't feel any pain or agony which people glorified about going through a breakup, rather I was pretty much the same.
And then Simran was back in the picture, I would see her everywhere I go. In 10th grade I wasn't allowed to play sports, so every time I'd go to the playground during the PE period I'd see her practicing for zonal. My heart would leap out of my chest, my palms would sweat and the giddy feeling would return.
I vaguely remember the memory when I finally thought of giving her a hint.
Flashback ~~~
It was her birthday. It was Simran's 15 birthday and I was finally deciding to give her a vague hint about what I felt about her. Dressed in the simple black t-shirt which was the uniform of our coaching and faded blue jeans, I tied the laces of my Converse and quickly ran out of the house.
I stopped near the gift store and shuffled through the gift section trying to find a meaningful gift but to my bad luck, I couldn't find anything. I was confused, fck it was so hard.
The shop owner seemed to understand my dilemma and he was quick to my rescue.
"What do you want kid?", he asked looking at my frown. "I want a gift for my friend", I answered back
"Friend? As in male or female", he questioned back, the mention of female had heat rushing to my face and neck. Simran and I were friends, right? I could at least gift her on her birthday! Yeah!
"Female", I replied licking my dry lips as my cheeks felt warm. The shop owner laughed at my expression making me squirm in my place, as the tips of my ears turned pink. He patted my shoulder laughing heartily and motioned me towards the other section.
"Tell me about her", he said., making me lost in thoughts as I thought about her. "She's a bit shorter than me...she's cute...she plays sports... We used to sit in the same seat in tuition back then... she's sweet... A great friend... She would always help me..", I spoke after pauses as I tried to remember everything about her
The shopkeeper nodded at me and passed me a box of keychains. "this would do", he said and helped me find the perfect one for her
After searching for five minutes I finally found a cute panda keychain with a small fish charm. The panda reminded me of her, both had the same chubby cheeks and lazy personality.
I beamed at the shopkeeper who chuckled and packed my gift. After paying and thanking him I walked out of the shop.
But to my bad luck, it had started raining. I clicked my tongue in annoyance and looked at the dark grey clouds. It was raining cats and dogs. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the warning of the shop owner I stepped out in the rain.
I looked at my watch which showed 3:45. The tuition would end at 4. It was my only time now. So gathering my shit I ran for my dear life in the heavy rain with the gift in my tight iron-like grip. I couldn't see anything in front as my eyes burned because of the intensity of the downpour but I didn't let it hinder my speed. I wiped my eyes and winced as the heavy drops burned my skin.
Finally, after running for the last fifteen minutes in the heavy rain I saw the tuition centre coming into vision. Kids were coming out of the gates and scattering near the shades trying to save themselves from the clouds.
Slowing down I made my way towards the cycle stands when I saw her walking towards the other exit.
"Simran", I yelled and ran towards her. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned towards me looking at me shocked as I was drenched in the rain.
I bent down trying to catch my breath as I supported myself by keeping my hands on my knees. "I-I-w-want to say something", I panted for air as my voice came out hoarse from all the running. My throat felt dry. I ran a hand through my damp hair as it stuck to my face much to my annoyance. I might be looking like a dog now.
"Happy birthday", I said with a big smile on my face, I saw her expression going from confusion to shock to happy one. She looked comical once she registered my words and I wanted to laugh at her.
"Thank-", but before she could say anything a voice interrupted us. "Avinash?", we turned towards the source of the voice only to see Vidhi standing under an umbrella and looking at us.
Present ~~~
It was then that Vidhi had come in between us and even now. Not then I could confess nor now, because it was too late. Because after her birthday I had never seen her, from what I heard from her friends she'd shifted to other states for studies. I tried finding her on social media from common friends but I was met with failure every time.
But then I saw a ray of hope when I bumped into her in the market. I'd instantly recognised her. And since then I'd done everything in my power to be around her. On the day of the reunion party, I wanted to finally confess but I guess we were never meant to be.
I didn't love her since the start. I loved her midway, I loved her during those random conversations we'd have, I loved her during the days she'd let me borrow her pen, I loved her during those days when she'd help me cheat during the test, I loved her when during the lunch break she'd roam around my class to get a glimpse of me, I loved her during she'd pass those sneaky glances, I loved her during the time she stalked me, I loved her during every minute we made eye contact, I truly did. but yet, I loved her too late.
From bumping into her in the market to visiting her father's shop to talk to her, climbing the terrace of her neighbour's house to ditching the Chhath Puja of my own family I had visited her, just for a mere glimpse of her but destiny had different plans.
On the night of the reunion party when I finally had her close to me in my embrace as we danced to the slow music I was moments away from confessing to her but Vidhi had to interrupt and ruin things between us again.
I tried chasing her when her warmth left my body but Vidhi stopped me. She wanted me back, she wanted us to get back together. I was furious, I'd yelled at her but she tried her best to cajol me in her trap. And when I wanted to go away she hugged me. Just then at that moment, Simarn had witnessed her much to my horror.
I ran behind her finally gathering the courage to confess which I did throwing my cowardice in the back seat.
"I-I like you Simran, I genuinely do, I hope you're understanding", I did it, I had finally confessed, pouring my heart out as my voice shivered
My heart finally felt at ease as if a heavy burden had been lifted off my chest. I was happy, finally, I'd find my happiness, but her next words shattered my world completely.
"You don't like me Avinash, you just like the feeling of liking me", she had said next and I felt needles pricking my heart
Had I hurt her so much that she couldn't even believe my feelings for her? I was once again left in a dilemma when I saw her walking away from me. I wanted to stop her but I couldn't, I couldn't bring myself to. Because she didn't deserve me. She deserved someone who would love her endlessly, unconditionally without being confused about his feelings.
"Excuse me", she said and turned her back towards me and I saw her walking away, her retreating figure burning my heart making it bleed.
Those were the same words I'd said to her when we first met and the same words she had spoken to me now in our last meeting. It meant I would never see her again, I'd lost her forever. I was left broken and shattered as a lone tear left my eye. Was it the same emotions she'd felt when I'd hurt her unintentionally? But this time I wanted her to choose herself over me, choose her happiness over everything, because she deserved the world.
"Maybe one day, we'll meet again and explain to each other what really happened. Maybe one day we'll finally understand. Until then, I hope you live your best life and I hope you really do all the things you always wanted to do.", I thought as one by one tears cascaded down my eyes drenching my white shirt
My throat felt heavy with the lump as I tried my best not to break down completely. Oh how weak I was!
I gazed at the bonfire in front of me with my diary placed on my lap. I took the letter in my hand and walked towards the fire. With a heavy heart I one by one added the letters I'd preserved for years for her in the fire. The letters in which I'd poured out my feelings for her, my love, my undying emotions, my everything. I gazed as the flames slowly engulfed the paper burning into ashes as I was finally freeing her and myself from everything. I was putting an end to everything.
THE END
............
Please, please don't come at me. I swear this wasn't my fault.
I remember the promise that I would reveal a secret at the end of the epilogue. So Pehla Pyaar is a real story means the story isn't real but the characters are real they exist in real life.
The inspiration behind the story is from one of my friends who wanted to have an ending or you can say a love story with her crush, but as you know high school crushes are always unrequited love, unreciprocated and exceptions are only a few.
To be honest the story wasn't supposed to end like this. I had a complete ending planned but my friend wanted it as realistic as possible so whatever my mind would come up with I plan it accordingly. The story was difficult to write because I wanted the personalities to match reality. So yes a Simran exists Avinash also exists in real life so I wanted their personality to match accordingly and that was a tough task to plan in the chapters their several encounters, the dialogues, the plot etc.
To be honest, it was completely out of the box because I had never written something like this okay, writing a story by taking inspiration from reality is hard. Because fiction is different, the fictional world is completely of our imagination so we can pen down everything but in this I wanted it to have the pinch of realistic feelings and emotions and what we feel at that moment to be there that extract of reality to be there.
I wanted Simran to have the same amount of sass, that sarcasm, the witty replies, the emotional outburst and Avinash to be like you know clueless and then completely turn off emotions. Saurabh Singhania was a completely unplanned character I wasn't supposed to add him but then my friend, contacted me she was like I want it as realistic as possible and I didn't want the ending to be in the favour of Avinash so then I planned that when the new character came in the picture.
But now here I'm ending their story on a good note. I hope Simran finds her man soon and gets a really happy ending.
Lots of love to Simran and no hate for Avinash.
Thank you to all my readers for showing their interest in this book and showering it with love. Stay tuned for many more new stories to come and follow me.on Instagram for spoilers and updates:)
Dhanyawad* with bohot saare emojis*!🥹🤧✨🧿😌🫶🏻🤝🏻🙆🏻
Author🦋
Roop♡