Dominick
The next month went by in a blink. And by the time October hit, nearly everything in my life had changed. Well, everything except my job at The Hope Foundation.
For someone who wasn't fond of change, I was getting used to it.
I had one person to thank for opening my eyes to the good side of change: my girlfriend. It was crazy to think about the impact that one person had on the trajectory of my life. I loved this girl with all my damn heart, and I was planning on telling her just how deeply I felt about her tonight.
She was everything I wasn't. But at the exact same time, she understood me like no one else could.
Even before I trusted her and let her get close, she'd helped me grant a terminally ill girl a wish, and she'd helped my grandma renovate her club and make the business more marketable.
Step by step, she'd shown me that I could trust her with more than one night.
I'd even done something I never thought I'd do. Something I'd been saving up for a long time but hadn't had the push I needed to pull the trigger. Something big that I thought would impress her parents, whenever I finally met them. Something that I'd been struggling to keep from Tanushree. But that surprise was going to have to wait a little while longer.
Now that her fall show was over, and Tan wasn't dancing four ballets week, we were out to celebrate another change.
After two months of work, Tan's interior designer friend, Sef, and his partner, Hope, were about to reveal the renovations that had been done at Blanche's Boudoir. He'd kicked Mimi and me out last week to put the finishing touches on his design, and we were excited to see how it all came together.
Well, maybe excited was the wrong word for me. I was nervous the design had removed all the charm of Blanche's Boudoir, and I wouldn't recognize the place. I sure as hell didn't recognize the exterior. A huge sign hung out front, surrounded by buzzing yellow Edison bulbs. Now, anyone who walked by would know what this place was.
Together, hand in hand, we stood outside the front door to Mimi's club while Rhonda, Flo, and my grandma finished their cigarettes. Tan was wearing this tight little black tube dress that clung to the subtle curves of her body. The dress was just short enough that I didn't want her sitting anywhere else but in my lap.
Everyone seemed happy. Especially Mimi, who was chatting excitedly with her friends at the brand new seating area that had been installed in the vestibule beside the front door.
The wood pallets and the makeshift table had been cleared out, and a social media-worthy backdrop for patrons to take their pictures against graced the once plain brick wall.
Aesthetically, it was hard to argue that the changes were for the better. For so long, this place had gotten by on word of mouth. Kinda like a secret. A secret that shielded me from everyone who ever disappointed me or could disappoint me. Now, it wasn't a secret anymore.
"You're being exceptionally quiet. Even for you." Tan said, leaning in and kissing the side of my cheek. "Everything okay?"
"I'm just thinking. That's all." The truth was I wasn't sure how I felt. I was nervous, sad, anxious, and happy all at the same time.
Tan squeezed my hand and gave me the space I needed to work through my thoughts. She was good like that. Letting me be quiet instead of needing to fill the silence with chatter. I squeezed her hand to let her know I appreciated what she was doing for me, then tilted my head back to stare at the brand new sign.
It wasn't as flashy as the Oiled Olive, but it was much flashier than I was used to. I wondered how things were going to change if we started getting newer, younger clients. I knew how to perform in front of the regulars and knew that Mimi's friends came to support me and enjoy each other's company. Now, I was going to have to be a real performer.
With all the new attention, there was a risk that my real name could get out there and jeopardize my career at the Hope Foundation. Or worse, Tan's parents could find out she was dating a stripper and that I'd dragged her into this lifestyle.
I was processing a million thoughts in my head when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Tan and I turned around, thinking it was her friends, only to find my mom. Her thin, graying hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she was wearing a clean pair of jeans and a simple blue sweatshirt.
I was more than a little surprised to see her here. She didn't come to the club. Not in the last twenty-some years. I wasn't sure why, but I guessed that she didn't want to run into anyone who knew her before she'd gotten deep into drugs.
But, against all odds, here she was.
I couldn't find the words to tell her how much this meant to me. Sure, meeting me for dinner once a week was one thing. But coming to Blanche's was another.
"Hope there's room for one more," Ma said with her hands clasped in front of her, holding on to an old purse with white knuckles. "Wanted to see this dress rehearsal you kept talking about at dinner."
My mouth hung open for a second before I found my voice. "Of course, Ma. There's plenty of room. Glad you could make it."
I let go of Tan's hand to bend down and give her a hug, eyeing Mimi over Ronnie's shoulder. She grinned back at me in a way that made me feel warm on the inside before she stubbed out her cigarette.
She hadn't told me she'd invited Ma. Probably because she was afraid Ronnie wouldn't show. Ma didn't have a great track record of coming when she'd said she was going to visit me in the past.
We'd never be able to go back and change the things that happened when I was younger, but we could start over and be something more to each other than strangers, which was all I wanted at this point. To feel like she gave a shit. Like I wasn't just some mistake she regretted.
When I pulled back, Ronnie looked from me to Tan. "You must be the girl my son won't stop yapping about. Tanushree, right?"
Tan beamed back at my ma. "Dominick yaps? I had no idea."
I pressed my lips together and rolled my eyes, trying and failing not to smile. This girl never stopped busting my balls, and god, I loved it.
Ronnie shrugged but couldn't hold back her laugh either. "He talks a lot over a slice at Andiamo's. Sometimes, I have to cut him off because I gotta get to work. Isn't that right, Dom?"
Tan's mouth fell open, and I chuckled again. "She's not wrong."
I could talk Ma's ear off about Tan. About how amazing she was on stage as a ballerina and how jealous I was of the guy she danced her solo with. About how much fun we had at choreography practice. Things I didn't talk to anyone else about. Well, except my therapist.
Even though I didn't talk that much, it was easy to talk about the woman I'd fallen in love with. It was much harder to tell that woman I was in love with her. To give her those words, not knowing if they'd be given back to me.
"Well, I'll have to get a pie with the two of you some time and witness this miracle for myself."
"I'd like that. If you came. I can tell you're funny. I need more funny people in my life. Especially ones that Dom cares about."
I wondered why I'd been so worried about these two meeting. Everything was going okay. Ronnie was clean, and Tan was so warm and accepting.
"Speaking of funny people, here comes a few more." Tan went on to her tippy toes and waved her arms in the air at the crowd of people rolling up. Someone screamed, and I was pretty sure I recognized the voice.
It was Maren. Who was dressed in some over-the-top sparkly blue dress that made her look like she was going to an awards show, not a strip bar. But I'd come to realize that's just who she was.
Her boyfriend, the former stripper, West, was trailing behind her, wearing black dress pants and a white collared shirt, along with her big shot attorney friend, DeShauna, who'd been busy as hell since making partner.
Then there was Kennedy, the bubbly ballerina Tan used to be roommates with, who was talking animatedly to the shit stain Lucas. Nick and Todd at their heels. Laughing loudly at some joke.
They descended upon us like flies at a barbeque. Or like this was Christmas dinner, and we were all family. I couldn't decide how to frame their excitement. Mostly because the only people I'd ever had in my life were Mimi and her friends. I'd never had people my age who cared.
Tan and I had gone out with her friends a few times, and I'd come to realize they were pretty cool people. Though, I didn't really fit in with their energy. They all loved to talk and be in each other's business, while I was content to sip a drink and glare at any guy who dared to look at my girl the wrong way.
Once in a while, West could pull me into a conversation about football or movies, but more often than not, I stayed quiet.
I'd always been more of a listener than a talker, and because of that, people assumed I didn't like them, which was mostly true, to be fair. But, against all odds, I did like Tan's friends.
"Oh my god! Is this the same place?" Maren screeched, running toward Tan with open arms in what looked like three inch heels. "I can't believe it!" she said, wrapping Tan in a hug and rocking her excitedly back and forth. "There's a sign and everything!"
I took a step back, allowing the women to say their hellos, and shook West's hand, as well as Todd and Nicks. Lucas got little more than a grunt of my acknowledgment.
"It's good to see you too, Dom," Lucas said, slapping my shoulder.
I glared at him, which he seemed to find funny. If I liked him more, I might find his relentlessly positive outlook on the world inspiring.
"I came up with a stage name, and I wanted to run it by you," he said enthusiastically.
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Anything is better than the Melon Felon."
West chuckled. Lucas did, too. I rolled my eyes again.
"You know," Lucas hedged, wagging a finger at me, then elbowing West, "whenever Dominick glares at me like that, I swear he reminds me of Putnam. Doesn't he? They both have this look."
I hadn't the faintest clue what this idiot was talking about or who Putnam was.
West just shrugged. "I mean, maybe Putnam twenty years ago before he drank his weight in whiskey."
I was already anxious enough about seeing the renovations for the club, revealing my big surprise to Tan, and trying to find the courage to tell her that I loved her. I wasn't in the mood for games.
"Are you going to tell me the name or not?" I said, irritated. "Because if it's something stupid, I have every right to veto it."
Lucas ran a hand through his short, sandy blond hair, then waved it dramatically in the air. "What do you think about, Mercurito."
I made the face that usually accompanied the word seriously, but said nothing. One eyebrow raised and forehead scrunched.
"You know," Lucas said, grinning, "from Romeo and Juliet. Mercurito is Romeo's best friend."
For fucks sake.
West canted his head to the side. "I mean, it's definitely a unique name."
West was being nice. Mercurito was a terrible stripper name. Besides, Lucas was not my best friend. He wasn't even on the list of people auditioning for the role of my best friend.
Kennedy, who had crept up on our side bar conversation, bumped her hip into Lucas's. And her presence made him smile so hard I thought his face was going to crack in half.
"Mercurito is a mouthful, sweetie. How are girls supposed to scream that when you come on stage?"
His stupid grin deflated faster than a popped balloon. "That's a really good point. I don't know what to do. I've thought of a thousand names, and none of them are working."
She slung an arm around his shoulder, then pinched his cheek. "Why don't you just use Luke? It's short. Hot. And easy to scream."
He instantly brightened. "I never thought about using my own name. Thanks, Ken. You're the best!"
My gaze cut to Tan, who was chatting animatedly with her best friends. Lucas could use his real first name on stage. He didn't care who found out about his chosen career. Neither one of us had that option.
"Well, what do you think, Dom? Can I use Luke?"
"That's fine," I said, thankful I wouldn't have to be introduced on stage with Mercurito.
The rest of the guys congratulated Lucas on finally figuring the stage name thing out.
I pressed my lips together as I watched them interact like brothers might. For better or worse, this was my crew.
I turned away from them in time to catch Mimi smiling at me while she talked to my ma. She looked happy, and that's all that I could ask for. For the women in my life to be happy.
The front door opened, and a tuxedo-clad Sef appeared.
Everyone clapped and cheered. Except me. I was managing my expectations. Preparing for the worst.
"Alright, Blanche! You first, gorgeous," Sef said, carefully closing the door behind him so that none of us could get a peek at the newly designed space. "And where's that hunk of tattooed muscle you call a grandson? Oh, there you are! Scowling in the back. How unsurprising. Get up here and hold Mimi's hand."
Tan appeared at my side and gave me a nudge. "Go on. I'll walk in with your mom."
All of a sudden, sweat prickled against my skin, and finding a steady breath became difficult. I knew this moment was coming, but now that it was here, I felt paralyzed. "What if I hate it?" I whispered in her ear.
She kissed the side of my cheek, then rubbed at the lipstick mark she left behind. "If you hate it, then we'll figure it out. But you'll never know if you don't at least go inside."