The silence in the car was peaceful but I chose to break it. "Drop me off at Sulia's house before you go to the pack house."
"I'm coming with you."
"No!" I exclaimed. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "No." I said softly. "I need to do this myself."
He sighed. "Okay. Just──be careful."
"Okay."
We reached Sulia's house a while after. I got out of the Jeep before Zade could say anything and slammed the car door.
I didn't look back at Zade when I heard the Jeep take off.
I reached Sulia's door step. I tried to open the door but it was locked. Normally, it was never locked. I banged the door.
"Gosh, I'm coming!" I heard my aunt say. She opened the door and froze. "Esra?"
I pushed her inside the house and pinned her against the wall. "Why did you do it?"
"Esra, what are you talking about? Is this any way to treat your aunt?" Her claws came out and she scratched my right cheek. I stepped back and felt my face. I stared at the crimson liquid coating my fingers.
Another memory hit me.
"I said I'm sorry." I sobbed.
"You think sorry with fix anything? Words mean nothing." She spat.
"Please don't hurt me."
"Shut up, child. I wish you died with your parents." She growled and scratched my face with her claws.
My aunt stared at me in complete shock. Both our breaths were ragged.
"You erased half of my memories." I growled at her. I felt my Alpha power taking control.
"Esra, what are you talking about? You had amnesia. Don't you──don't you remember?"
"Don't lie to me!" I pushed her against the wall again. My hand was on her throat. "You erased my memory! I remember. I remember you talking to the black wolf! The one who tried to kill me!" I growled at her.
"Esra, I can explain." Tears started to roll down her face. Crocodile tears.
"Then explain to me. Explain to me why you did this. Tell me why you erased my memory. Tell me why you killed my parents!" My voice softened.
"Because they were bastards!" She spat. "Your mother brain washed my brother. She turned my brother into a softy. We were supposed to be ruling over every land!" She growled.
"But why erase my memory?"
"Because you knew too much! You were supposed to be trained like him. But you refused." She snarled.
"Who, the black wolf? Tell me!"
"Or what?" She smirked.
I pushed my claws in her neck. I took her arm with my other hand and ripped it off. She screamed in pain, agony. I added more pain by squeezing her throat.
"Tell me now!" I demanded.
"I'll never tell you!" She gritted her teeth and hissed.
I squeezed her throat even more. She struggled for air. She tried to take in deep breaths. "You're finally doing what you were born to do." She smirked.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're a killer." She whispered. "You were mated to a dire wolf for a reason. Your child will be more powerful than the both of you."
"I'm not a killer." I growled.
"You're killing me."
"Because you deserve to die!" I pressed my claws deeper.
"Oh, Esra." She groaned. "I tried training you. But you chose your pathetic heart over power."
Another memory entered my mind but I didn't let it weaken me.
"Run faster!"
"Fight harder!"
"Kill whatever is in your way!"
"You're too soft to kill."
"You're useless."
"Weakling."
I growled at her even more, throwing her across the room. "You put me through all that! How could you have be so cruel?" I roared.
I picked her up and pinned her against the wall again.
"If you weren't so weak then you would have killed all the alphas by now. It's a shame your mate is one of them. But I guess you wouldn't care. He cheated on you. He never loved you and he still doesn't. He just needs a luna for the pack because it's falling apart. Haven't you noticed? He never wanted you."
"You're lying!"
"You really think I am? Think about it. It's all for show. If he really loved you then he wouldn't have allowed you be here alone. Alphas are protective over their mates and he let you come here without a second thought."
"I don't believe you!" The anger swelled in me. I swear if I could light up in flames this whole house would have been burnt by now.
"You're not a pure wolf." She whispered. "You're just a breed."
"Why should I believe you?"
"We're all sub-species, Esra. Do you really think the moon goddess created several types of wolves." She laughed. "She only created two. Grey wolves and dire wolves. They started breeding with each other. That's why the world's so messed up right now. There's too many packs. Damon will rule them all." She snarled at me. "You're just as weak as your parents."
"Say that one more time and I'll rip your throat out." I snarled.
"Before you do that. I want to make one thing clear..." She smiled. "Tell your useless mate that I killed Luna Kratos." She laughed. "They were so easy to fool!"
"What?" Zade had mentioned that she died. That his father had let her die. And I hadn't asked him how.
"And then the dear future luna ran away. You could've stayed and took revenge on your mate. It's not too late. You can take revenge on him. He isn't worth it."
"I won't kill my mate!" I ripped her throat out before she could say anything else. Her body laid lifeless on the floor.
"What have I done?" I whispered to myself.
I'm not a killer and yet I killed her. I didn't know I had that power in me. Tearing her apart felt like tearing paper.
I am a monster.
I paced up and down until I felt someone watching me. I turned my head to the open window. The black wolf was hiding behind the bush not too far from the window.
"Damon." I snarled. He made a run for it. I ran outside and attempted to catch him. Shifted into my tundra wolf, I ran faster than I usually run. I felt so much power rush through me. I haven't felt so eager for blood in my life. But today──today my wolf wanted blood. I wanted blood. I wanted Damon's blood.
I was a few meters away from him, addeding more speed. I took the risk of tackling him on uneven ground. When my paws scraped his fur, I felt an impression. Like I knew him from somewhere. I felt a connection.
The distraction caused me to misjudge my next move. And we both tumbled down a steep bank. The river roared below. We were going to fall in the water. The current would be too strong to swim through and will take us to the waterfall. And we'd──
I tried to stop myself from tumbling down but it was no use. I braced myself for the impact, until something hard slammed into my side. No, not something. Someone.
A huge wolf pushed me away from the water.
Zade.
We landed on the flat part of the river bank. Zade's big brownish-grey wolf stood tall in front of me.
If only we could mind link it would have been easier. Zade stared at me for a few moments. I broke the silence by growling. I pushed passed him and stared at the water. Damon wasn't in the water. He either got out or ended up by the waterfall.
I was angry, furious. I almost had him. I almost got answers.
But why didn't he attack me? Why didn't he try to kill me? Why did he run?
I remember what Damon looked like but I don't remember who he is exactly. I needed to get all my memories back. Fast.
I turned back to Zade, brushing my fur against his to calm him down. He seemed furious. But not at me. I would have known if he was. The tension eased and he followed me and we went back at Sulia's house.
Zade went towards his Jeep that was parked by the entrance of the house. He shifted into his human form, which I tried not to look at, and took out some clothes from inside. Once he was dressed he walked up to me with clothes in his hand.
"Esra, shift and put these on." He said in a soft tone. I took the clothes from his hand and went behind a tree. I shifted and changed.
I still had blood all over my hands. Zade saw it. "Esra, what happened?"
"I... I killed her." Tears flowed uncontrollably. Not because I killed her but because I murdered someone and I wasn't a killer.
I just lost control of everything. I never craved for blood so badly in my life before. In fact, I never ever wanted blood. It always made me feel sick. This time it was different.
"I'm a monster. I'm a murderer." I held onto his shirt. "Zade, I'm a murderer."
"No, you're not."
"I am."
"Esra, look at me." He cupped my face. "You're not a monster and you're not a murderer. Her time was coming soon. If it weren't for you killing her I would've done it myself. Esra, it wasn't your fault. But I need you to promise me something."
I nodded slowly.
"Please don't ever go after that wolf alone. Please Esra, you have to be careful. If I wasn't there then you would've fell into the river and get washed by the current. You wouldn't have been able to survive the waterfall."
"I know. I'm sorry. I just..." I took in a deep breath. "I don't know what happened to me."
"It's okay. Let's go. I'll call someone to take your aunt's body.".
"She's not my aunt. Not after what I found out. She is nothing but a heartless killer."
"Okay. We'll discuss this in my office." He whispered in my ear. "We're not alone."
I nodded and got in the car. Zade got in and started the ignition. We drove back to the pack house.
"Who was that?" I asked.
"They." He corrected. "They were mountain wolves. I saw one peeking it's head out from the bushes when I left you here. I hurried and came back for you."
"The only mountain wolves I know are from the Wind Winder Pack." I said.
"Exactly." Zade said. "They masked their scents. If it wasn't for that one sneaking it's head out, then I would never have noticed them."
"But how did they get through the border?"
"I don't know. I'm assigning more guards there and I'm going to put the mountain ash myself. I don't trust anyone."
"Me too."
Who was Damon?
What was Alpha Zephyrus up to?
And who was that name Luna Mayu tried to mention?
Those questions remained in my mind. Unanswered.