23/1/18
Harry
Getting to Zayns was a longer journey due to taking the long way to clear my mind. I never wanted to snap at her but the way she can't sense danger gets to me. I'm only trying to protect her and I just hope she sees this rather than just me being the bad guy.
Pulling up outside I unbuckle my seatbelt already seeing Niall's car pulling up in front of me. That's good then I can tell them both at the same time.
"Hey dude how's it going?" He asks, bringing my shoulder into a bro hug.
"It could be better. Let's get in there and need to tell both you and Zayn something" I mutter in determination not wanting to back down with the idea that had popped into my head on the way here.
No matter how much it will hurt my girl I need to do it for my own comfort knowing nothing will ever happen and my family that I may progress to have will be safe.
"Oh okay" We silently walk side by side making me get stuck in a train of thoughts that will get me to claw my eyes out.
"Hey Blondie you should have brought d- Oh Harry hey!" Zayn mutters in shock not expecting me as Niall walks in leaving me to walk him behind him.
"Hiya mate" I say walking in. "Where was my invite?" I walk in and sit down making myself at home.
"What the fuck is wrong with you styles who pissed in your cerial this morning?" Abby says coming from the kitchen.
"Glad to see you two have sorted stuff out; however I have a job for us all to do. We Abby you can get involved if you would like" I explain knowing she may not be comfortable with getting back involved with the dark side again.
"Nahh I'll come with as it will just be like old times" She says throwing herself beside Zayn as he sits on the armrest of the couch.
"Okay spot it puts styles what do you need?" Niall wanders in anticipation as I drag it out.
"Okay so as you all know Matilda's brother came back but left the same night Jayden was killed" I see the blank expression from all their faces wondering where this could be going but nothing but boredom shows on their faces.
"So what he's left and left you all alone. Why do I think this plan involves breaking your girl's heart?" Abby says, making me look down in regret. Maybe I'm too predictable or maybe Matilda is just my soft spot and everything links to her.
"Not technically but we need to lock him up to end it all. Once we have found the douche I'll announce it to Matilda"
"And say what exactly, your brother is in the gang we were investigating. I'm sorry but I'm not your prince charming?" Niall clarifies making me just look up to him with a 'Seriously' look.
"I fucking told her what I do dickhead!" I throw a pillow at him. "I couldn't just tell her about my past and not exactly tell her what I'm involved in." I snap as he looks up at me with a disproved look. One that a father may give his son when he goes against a single rule that he put out.
"Yeah and when was we gonna fucking know that she knew" Niall freaks making me just look at Zayn but he just shakes his head as a sign that he's not getting involved with what's happening between us. He goes back to talking to Abby, making me sigh from knowing I'm on my own.
"Well I didn't exactly have the right time to tell you. I mean the only time we meet up is for work or a few drinks out at a bar and that's once in a while." I explain but groan when Niall just continues to come at me.
After a few minutes of Niall blabbering on about how I'm whipped and should have told them first. I sigh knowing that if I don't stop this now it will keep on going and maybe I should just go and figure it out myself.
"Okay okay I get it jesus!" I shout, making both Abby and Zayn snigger.
"What does my best friend Jesus have to do with this?" Niall asks with his eyebrow raised.
"I'm not even gonna answer that. Are you both going to let me explain myself or are you both going to come at me more for being a bad friend for not telling you about what happened until now. I apologise but I can't do this, not anymore" I whisper the last bit finally giving up on taking shit from people. I'm not in the mood to joke, I may just go back home and get the silence from Matilda.
"Go and tell us what you have got?" Zayn says seriously knowing that I don't get like this if it wasn't important.
"Well we all know that Jayden was killed and I know who did it. He told me himself that he wasn't there to fulfil a bond with his sister but rather to use her in a crime of someone who was in his gang." I wander on making them look at me in silence.
"So that means we were all right when we suspected that something was happening with Jayden and the gang as he knew so much." They both add up at the same time.
"Yes and although he says he's gone and not going to come back I can't help but think there's something else. Now maybe I'm just paranoid but there's something that's not sitting right. Meaning that we need to get rid of him. I mean come on the whole point of the investigation was putting this whole gang shit to bed. We have a gang member in the palm of our hands. Lets just put this shit to bed?" I mumble making them all look at me with puzzled faces.
"Do you know where he was heading?" Niall asks, making Zayn rush to his computer that has all the information that we had collected on.
"No not really but he couldn't have gotten far." I mumble sliding behind Zayn checking what he's doing. "Although I may have or may not have planted a tracking device in his bag." I say normally like it didn't matter much.
"And that's the part you forget to tell us" Niall laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world.
"Yeah but I was ready to get out of here and sit in silence as I don't really think my girl wants to see my face right now" I mumble, being mad at myself for how escalated things turned out to be.
"May I ask what happened between you two?" Abby buts in making me sigh and put my head down in regret.
"She asked if she could see her brother again when he's next in time and I said he was into bad shit and then she said a lot of shit on how I'm out to get her and people. Then I made the wrong move and said well maybe if I left then she wouldn't have to deal with my out to get her bullshit" I whisper in vulnerability knowing I fucked up with what I said.
"Wow Styles that was low" Zayn mutters knowing that he's seen how bad I left her.
"I know it was, I know" I say mixed with regret and grief.
After being left in silence for what seemed hours I heard the aggressively typing on the keyboard making me look over to see what he found.
"What if he never left?" Zayn mumbles out in confusion. I looked over but was shocked when the device that I had planted led to Hot or not.
"No that can't be right surely?" I question myself, making me go back to the memory of the guy Matilda was drunk dancing with later last year. "Shit"
"What have you figured out, Styles?" Niall asks in concerne.
"There was a night, I can't remember when but it was last year when Matilda got drunk in Hot or not, it looked like a normal guy but something was off with him." I mumble making everything come to me.
"So we've been in the circle of where they could be but yet did shit all, Fuck!" Zayn sneers out in frustration at how close to home they really were to us.
"I mean you guys just look like normal civilians so why expect anything different from them?" Abby explains making us all look at her with the expression of 'no shit'. "Just saying," She shrugs.
"I will call the office and they will get a team out to search and then maybe we can finally put this shit to rest and not have to deal anymore." Zayn tells me.
Maybe my girl will not believe me but I just know that my words becoming true of how he used her would make her fall.
....
Matilda
Waking up with no arm around my waist and no tickle of facial hair that normally sits in my neck makes me shoot awake in panic of hoping that his words were true again of him leaving. We had an argument and I know he didn't mean to mention the words but we were both hurt in the moment.
Slowly getting out of bed feeling the fluffy material of my rug underneath that we had got over the past week, I head to the kitchen hearing nothing but silence. My head runs with the thought of jumping to the accusation that he's left me, but even though it may not be true there is always something. Searching from looking into the kitchen as the hallway feels like it goes on for minutes. Getting to the end my panic state settles when I get the confirmation that he's here. Layed on the couch with nothing but a small blanket over him.
Wandering closer to him I see the restful look on his face, guilt fills me when I realise the reason he is lying on the couch was him not knowing where he stands with me. We settled the tension when he left and we can do it again. Couples have disagreements, if we don't, it wouldn't be a couple. Not even thinking what my next would be I crawled onto him making him wake up from the slumber.
"Morning Pretty girl" He grumbles in his morning voice making me smile. His hands lay at the bottom of my back under his loose t-shirt that I wear to bed making me smile into his neck.
"I'm sorry" I murmur softly, making him squeeze my waist as we both just take in the comfortable silence between us.
"Hey, it's okay we both said things we didn't mean to say" He softly whispers as his hand is still drawing patterns on my back.
"I feel bad though" I say full of regret.
"Don't be, I shouldn't have said that I would leave you, I promise you Tilda baby it's me and you against the world. Always and forever. I shouldn't have said that I hurt you and it pained me more" I ended up seaking for the comfort knowing that he needed it more than me.
"Its okay"
We laid in comfortable silence just embracing the comfort that we both created. I always understood what it's like to lose someone close but to know people are wanting to stay you just can't help but wait when it's over and see them leave. It's terrifying knowing that one minute you could be with them and then it's time up and they leave anyway no matter how hard you try and keep them around. It's a tiring cycle that takes all your energy out of you making you just rely on yourself. It's tiring until you have someone there who proved it. Harry may have left and made me stronger but yet there's a part of me knowing that no matter if he leaves he always comes back and although it could be a tirefull journey I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep him. I've grown to need him and I know he's done the same with me.
We get broken out of comfort when his phone rings making me wonder who it is and what is the problem. Lifting myself up from Harry so he could take the call. I'm about to get up and make some coffee until his hands slid around my waist silently telling me to stay with him. I hear the murmurs over the phone but the volume is not loud enough to know what the caller is saying.
"Oh okay, thanks Z i'll tell her now" I hear the tension in his voice making me wonder what news had worked him up. He puts the phone down making the silence around us louder than I've ever known it to be.
"What is it Harry?" I hold onto his chin making him look towards me as he moves to look at the door.
"It's Nathan, he's been arrested for being a suspect in Jaydens murder and has been in a gang." My breathing stops making me go back to the memory of yesterday in the car. He was right and I told him he wasn't. He knew and I didn't believe him.
Guilt washes through my body as the reality hit me as he was trying to keep me safe and I didn't see the danger. I begin to go numb as realisation of Nathan not wanting to create a sibling bond with me but using me to get what he's wanted. He used me. My kindness, my trust, my life and my own family and I brought him in with open arms.
I was getting used to it and I didn't even see the signs.
"Tilda baby talk to me?" Harry comforts me as tears form through feeling frustration towards myself.
"Don't let me go" I cry as he embraced me in more comfort. The feeling of guilt hits as I feel like I don't deserve him, I don't deserve Harry with everything he's done but yet I just feel alone.
"Never"
Satisfaction sits as I hear the words being played to me. He's here to stay, he's not going anywhere.
....
See you sooonn :)