Moana
By the next morning, Edrick had already called the therapist for me and I was scheduled to have my first session right there in the penthouse that very morning. I was nervous, but also excited in a strange way. I wanted to get to the bottom of these strange occurrences, not only to figure out why this knife seemed to be so prominent in my mind and to see if it had any real, tangible significance, but I also wanted to get better so I could return to work.
When the therapist walked into my room, I immediately noticed that he seemed like a nice man. He was older, tall and thin, and had a completely bald head with a gray mustache on his upper lip and a pair of round wire-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. He had a warm smile on his face and wore a tweed suit, and carried a notebook in his thin hand.
"Hello, Moana," he said, holding his hand out for me to shake. "I'm Dr. Rhodes. Are you ready to get started?"
I nodded nervously. Edrick had moved a small loveseat into my room that was placed across from my armchair by the window, and I gestured for the therapist to sit on the armchair while I sat down on the loveseat. It felt strange to have a therapist in my bedroom, but it was also comforting to be doing this in a comfortable space that I knew well.
"So," Dr. Rhodes said as he opened up his spiral-bound notebook, "can you start with telling me what's been going on recently?"
I took in a shaky breath, then began.
"A few weeks ago, I was kidnapped and held at gunpoint..."
Over the course of the next half hour, I explained everything to Dr. Rhodes. I told him everything about the kidnapping, about Kelly and Ethan, about witnessing the fight between Ethan and Edrick, and about Edrick almost dying. I told him about Ethan choking me, the incident at the police station, and finally I told him about the dream that I had in the hospital.
Of course, he asked a lot of questions about my relationship with Edrick. Earlier, Edrick had told me that it was okay to be completely truthful about our fake engagement with Dr. Rhodes, as it would be illegal for him to reveal the truth to anyone else. And so, by the end of the thirty minute mark, I had explained everything to Dr. Rhodes from beginning to end.
When I was finished, the therapist leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, processing what I told him while I nervously fiddled with my hands on the loveseat. When he finally opened his eyes again, he smiled at me.
"I think I'd like to hypnotize you," he said. "If you're comfortable with it, I mean."
I nodded and took in a deep breath. "Will it help me figure out what that dream was about, and why I blacked out and drew those pictures?"
Dr. Rhodes shrugged lightly. "There are no guarantees," he said. "Not everyone is susceptible to hypnosis. If you're not open to it subconsciously, it might not get you anywhere. There's also a possibility that the dream and the drawings don't actually mean anything more than a simple machination of stress in your mind after the traumatic events. Perhaps you subconsciously view Edrick's father as the last remaining threat to your physical safety now that Ethan and Kelly are behind bars. Or, maybe..."
"Maybe they're visions?" I blurted out.
The therapist looked at me blankly for a few moments before standing. "I won't say anything in regards to that just yet," he said. "I don't want to make assumptions before our session is done."
I nodded uncomfortably. The therapist directed me to lie down on the loveseat. He closed the curtains and dimmed the lights in my bedroom, then began the session. He started by playing a low, droning tone on a singing bowl in his hand for a long time while he repeated a mantra, then had me repeat the same mantra for a long time while he circled around me with the singing bowl, causing the low tone to emanate around me from all directions. With my eyes closed, it felt a little disorienting. After that, he began to ask me questions.
But I didn't really feel any different. Even after almost half an hour of attempting to get me into a trance, I still felt perfectly conscious and found myself entirely incapable of delving deeper into my subconscious mind.
After half an hour of trying to hypnotize me, Dr. Rhodes finally ended the session. He opened my curtains and helped me sit up, then sighed deeply.
"I think that's all we'll be able to manage today," he said, sounding regretful. "I'm sorry. But I don't think that you're subconsciously prepared to go into a trance."
"Oh." I felt a little disheartened.
"But don't worry," Dr. Rhodes said. "It doesn't mean that this session wasn't helpful at all. I'm glad that we had a chance to talk about everything that's getting to you, and it's helped me to better understand your mental state. Sometimes just talking about these sorts of things is enough to help the brain unwind. Do you feel any more relaxed than before?"
I paused for a moment, thinking, but finally nodded. "I do feel a little better," I said.
Dr. Rhodes shot me a wide grin. "Good. I'll come back next week and we can have another session. Whether or not you want to just stick with talk therapy or try hypnosis again is completely up to you. Okay?"
"Okay." I stood, then walked over to the door with Dr. Rhodes. But before I opened it, I suddenly turned to face him with a burning question on my mind. "Dr. Rhodes," I said, "can I go back to work, do you think? I really hate being cooped up."
The therapist looked at me for a little bit. "Would it make you feel better?" he asked.
I nodded vehemently. "Yes. I love working with my students... Without that, I feel like I'll go crazy."
Dr. Rhodes nodded. "Well, that's up to you, then," he said. "I think that if it would help you, then you could go back to work. But I think that you should make sure you have an aide in the classroom in case you have another episode. In fact, if you do go back to work, I must insist that you have an aide, actually."
After that, Dr. Rhodes and I said our goodbyes and I saw him out. As I watched him disappear into the elevator, I thought about what he said about an aide, and it reminded me of my conversation with Edrick about having a bodyguard in the classroom.
At the time, I hated the thought of having a bodyguard with me. But now, after everything, I was beginning to realize that the help was really important. And I couldn't stay cooped up in this penthouse all day; with Ella still going to school and Edrick going to work, it was just me, Selina, and the maids all day, and they were busy during the day as well. I feared that if I stayed cooped up in the penthouse for much longer, my mental health wouldn't get any better.
So, I waited for Edrick to return home from work that day so that I could talk to him about bringing a bodyguard to my classroom.