IVY
The next few days with Rhys were a whirlwind. I was consumed entirely by him. We were so caught up in a fantasy world where Blaine didn't exist, and I was so desperate that I had become reckless for it to be true. The anxiety and guilt were consuming, but I couldn't stop my urges for Rhys no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times we had sex. The pull and connection between us was bigger than any awaited consequences. I had dreamed of a life where Rhys Wyatt was mine for years. And even though my mind knew better than to hurt Blaine, my heart wouldn't let me stop from consuming myself with Rhys. For now, the safety of Blaine overseas was subconsciously reassuring to both of us. We hadn't talked about Blaine and our breakup, and I had no idea what this meant with Rhys if and when Blaine ever returned. Blaine hadn't called me since I ended things, and I was achingly worried about what I would tell him if and when I heard from him again.
I woke up in Rhys's bed, and my body was deliciously sore in all the right places. The growing ache between my legs reminded me how incredibly amazing the last few days had been. I felt content under his fluffy duvet as I listened to the pleasing sound of Rhys singing in the shower. A few minutes later, he returned to his bedroom, wearing only a towel. I could get used to the sight of his naked and tattooed chest every morning. He strolled over to my bedside, and I sat up, tucking the duvet under my armpits. He sat down on the edge of the mattress and leaned forward, kissing me softly.
"Morning," he said, lingering at my lips with our noses touching. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Yeah," he ran his hand through my hair. "What time does your shift start today?"
"Noon."
He nodded and turned his head to look outside through the window, but now all I could see was him. I studied his features in the sunlight; he was more breathtaking than the view. Piercing blue eyes. Dark, wet hair. A dimple on his chin and two on either side of his scruffy cheeks. A nose so perfect and defined I could stare at it all day. I couldn't see why this gorgeous man would risk everything for me.
"Why do you ask?" I whispered to him.
He looked at me as expected, and my breath caught when he smiled. "I don't want this to end. Having you all to myself like this. I kind of like it." He cocked his head to the side as he watched my cheeks fill with colour. He was thoughtful for a second, then added quietly, "I'm worried about Blaine...what all of this means though."
I ran my fingers through his hair above his ear and frowned. "What do you mean? I ended things with Blaine. He's in Paris. It's over between us." He looked back out through the window but didn't say anything. I grabbed his cheek and made him look back at me. "What do you mean, Rhys?" I repeated.
He sighed and looked down. "I can't explain this properly, without . . . without clarifying something about my time here."
I frowned again and recalled our elusive discussions on why he mysteriously returned to Moose Creek. It seemed like a lifetime ago; so much had changed. "Like, why you spent the summer in Montana and not California like you had the past three years?"
"Yeah."
"I don't understand— what does that have to do with me?"
He smiled and shook his head. "Nothing and yet somehow everything."
I embraced him tightly, putting my head on his shoulder. His eyes twinkled, and I deeply inhaled his intoxicating scent as I snuggled further into his smooth, bare chest. He held me back just as tightly, rubbing my back with one hand, the other hand holding the back of my head. Finally, he slowly said, "I didn't exactly want to come back here." He paused and then whispered. "I tried to stay away for as long as possible because of you."
I pulled back a little to look at him. "Why because of me?" I felt oddly hurt by that.
He tucked some hair behind my ear. "When you started dating Blaine..." his voice broke and trailed off. He couldn't even look at me. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me when I found out. I thought I was over what happened between us... but the longer you two stayed together, the more I started losing myself. The partying and the girls took over as an easy distraction from what I was really there to do: play football and graduate college. Then, little by little, just knowing you two were still together started to eat away at me, even though I desperately tried to stop what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong. I wanted to be happy for you and Blaine. I tried. But running away from you and my life back in Montana wasn't working. Eventually, my grades started to slip, and I hated how football had become a chore and how girls suddenly became faceless."
"Rhys," I breathed. Hearing the vulnerability in his voice made every hair on my neck stand on edge. I leaned forward and ran my thumb down his cheek.
"One night after a football game, Blaine sent me a Snap Chat of the two of you. You were both sitting on his bed, smiling and cuddling beside Blaine. He was holding out his summer scholarship to France. He wanted me to congratulate him and be proud of him, but I couldn't. All I could do was stare at you hanging onto his arm and hate myself for being so damn jealous. I slammed another few drinks even though I already had more than enough, and I left with two girls. I stupidly got behind the wheel...and I crashed my car into a street light. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but when the cops showed up, they recognized me from football and got me off with fair warning. They reported the incident to Coach Fenwick. The next thing I knew, my scholarship was on the line, and I agreed to return to Moose Creek to keep myself out of trouble. Of course, I was terrified that I'd see you again. I planned to lay low in the ranch, avoid you at all costs and then return to California ready for a fresh start. But then you appeared..."
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
He brushed my cheek with my thumb. "Ivy, it wasn't that simple." he winced and gazed into my eyes. "Nothing about wanting you has ever been easy. As kids, you were my best buddy's studious little sister, and as teenagers, you became the girl my brother couldn't stop talking about."
I felt tears prick my eyes. So many emotions were barreling through my body as I tried to remain calm. "If you felt that way about me back then, why did you walk away from me the night of your Senior prom?"
"The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. But we both know if I had my way with you that night, you'd be tainted as one of those girls. I couldn't let that happen," he brushed his thumb along my cheek as his eyes bore into mine. "I didn't walk away because I cared more about other girls. It was because you mean more to me than any of those other girls that I had to walk away. I was headed off for college, and you weren't leaving Moose Creek anytime soon. It wouldn't have been fair to you. It wasn't that I didn't want you because I wanted you more than anything...but I needed to protect you." He sighed, and I could see a struggle brewing behind his eyes. "These past few days have been amazing. I want you in my life, Ivy...I do."
"I don't understand. What are you saying?"
"I think it's best once the summer's over for you – "he paused and almost appeared to be struggling to force the words from his mouth. "You need to accept that internship in Fredrickton."
"But what about us?"
"Ivy," he hesitated as his sad blue eyes bore into mine. "I won't ask you to follow me like Blaine did. I can't let you," he whispered.
I looked away. I couldn't believe that after everything I had risked for him, he was telling me to disappear from his life just as fast as I came back into it. Was he embarrassed by what we'd done? Of me? I was suddenly reliving the humiliation I once felt from Rhys leaving me behind all those years ago... I was never good enough for him; that was clear to me now.
He grabbed my chin and made me look back at him. "Ivy, please don't be angry with me."
"How could I not be?" I asked. "I risked everything for you."
He sighed and looked out over the window again. "We both knew this wasn't going to last forever. The summer was always going to come to an end."
I closed my mouth, closed my eyes and closed my thoughts. I vaguely sensed Rhys holding me in his arms on the bed, his hand running softly through my hair. I couldn't believe what he was suggesting. I opened my eyes and glanced up at him.
"Why does it have to end? Maybe I want to follow you to California." I said with a hopeful smile. "I can transfer colleges and find another internship. I'm sure they have a great journalism school there."
"Ivy, I'm not going back to California," he deadpanned.
Wait. What?
Guilt washed through me when I realized I wouldn't dare relocate to Paris with Blaine, but I wouldn't hesitate to follow Rhys anywhere on the planet if he'd have me.
"I can't stay here and definitely can't return to California. I need to pursue my music. It's what I've always wanted for as long as I can remember. I'm ready for Nashville."
"And I'm ready to be with you," he looked back at me. "I will come with you wherever your music takes you."
"You're not coming with me, Ivy."
Stabbing a knife through my heart would have been less painful. I sucked back my tears as my pulse hauled off in a full panic mode.
"You are not risking everything you've worked so hard for to follow a deadbeat musician to Nashville." he shook his head, almost angrily, "You need to finish college and apply to journalism school. You are damn smart, and there is so much opportunity out there for you."
I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince me or himself. His tone was unsettling. The uncertainty of it all made me ache inside.
"No," I shook my head. Panic continued to rise in my throat. "I want to come with you."
He faced me again. "I'll always want to be with you, Ivy. . ." He looked away for a second. ". Believe me, I wish I could let you come with me, but I can't."
"What about what I want?" I asked.
"Ivy, it's not that simple," he said. "We've been living in a fantasy world these past few days. You and Blaine just broke up. How on earth will we ever be able to make this work? We have to think of Blaine's feelings, too."
He was right. I hated how complicated all of this was. I felt a pang of guilt for falling back into Rhys's arms the way I did. I knew our summer together would end, whether because of Blaine, college, or any other obstacle in our way. Blaine's sweet and innocent face flashed into my mind, making me feel ill.
"We still have time together, though," he said softly, stroking my cheek. "The summer isn't over, Ivy. I don't want you to create expectations of us in your head. We need to be careful about what we've been doing. We don't want word getting back to Blaine."
I looked up into his sad blue eyes. It made me slightly frustrated. I knew this conversation was inevitable. I didn't know what else to say or do about the reality of our situation. Not being able to stand his painful smile any longer, I leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me back so fiercely I could feel his intense feelings for me with every breath he took as I kissed him back with the same urgency. I could feel he feared our kiss coming to an end. He ran his fingers through my hair, and I moaned greedily into his mouth. His familiar oaky scent consumed me, and the feeling of his hands in my hair, neck and breasts made me quickly forget about the consequences of our summer together.
"Maybe if we just come clean to Blaine," I said, finally breaking our kiss. I squeezed his hand, hoping he'd agree, and I grabbed his cheek with my other to make him look at me.
"It's not just Blaine I'm worried about," he whispered, kissing my hand after removing it from his cheek. "Ivy. We can't come clean. I think maybe right now we should go downstairs and make breakfast and – "
The sound of the front door slamming caused us both to jump.
What the hell? Who could that be?
"Ivy!" Blaine's familiar voice shouted from downstairs. "Ivy! Where are you?"
Holy. Shit.
All the blood drained from my face. It felt like my stomach hit the floor. Rhys moved away from me, bent down and grabbed my nightie. He handed it to me, and his face remained eerily calm as he struggled to pull on a pair of sweatpants. When Blaine's voice called out for me again, Rhys walked through the doorway. He turned around, face pale. "I'll hold him off. Meet me downstairs in five minutes."
I was trembling as I slid my nightie over my head. The reality of Blaine and the guilt of Rhys washed over me.
Rhys crept out of his bedroom, and I heard his footsteps descending the staircase. Was this real? Was this happening? Part of me didn't know what to do or what to expect.
Anxious, I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I tip-toed over to the stairwell and overheard Rhys talking to Blaine. I thought I'd hear fighting, yelling, or accusations, but I heard none. I heard laughter and warm, friendly greetings. I rounded the corner, shocked to find Blaine and Rhys hugging in the kitchen. Rhys's back was to me. Instinctively, Blaine's eyes found me. My body was going through a rollercoaster of emotions as I started to walk down the staircase.
"Ivy," he said, pushing away from Rhys.
"Blaine." Tears were in my eyes immediately. Seeing him for the first time in so long was overwhelming. The enormity of it all hit me like a weight physically slammed against my chest. The guilt and anxiety of what I'd done with Rhys made my stomach turn.
He smiled, his gray eyes glistening as well. "You're still here."
I felt Rhys's piercing blue eyes watching us. My heart pounded painfully in my chest.
"What...How did you get here?" I could barely speak.
"On an airplane," he laughed. "I felt like you left me no choice. I booked the first flight I could. I needed to see you." Blaine put his hand on my cheek and brushed away a tear. "Baby, I love you."
"Blaine . . ." I brokenly tried to speak, "I'm so sorry. . ." In my head, I was more worried for Rhys than for our breakup, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I was so shocked he was here, standing inches away from me in the kitchen. I had broken up with him, thought we were over, and now he was here telling me he still loved me and that he flew from France to make things right between us.
"It's okay, I'm here." He held me close, rocking me gently and stroking my hair. "I was so worried you wouldn't be at the ranch. But I feel hopeful knowing you stayed. Please tell me things aren't over between us, are they?"
I pulled back to look at him and saw tears on his cheeks. "You came back . . . for me? Why?"
He sighed and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Did you think I would let you slip away that easily? Paris can wait. I can get an education anywhere. But I can't wait for you. There is only one Ivy Bishop. I love you." His voice broke a little at the end.
I glanced over at Rhys; he was staring blankly at the floor. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "But what about Paris? You were so excited. And free tuition, you can't pass up free tuition." I felt like I was grasping at straws, and I was so utterly confused I could barely stand.
He sighed again. "I told them I changed my mind and wouldn't accept the offer."
Sudden despair for my selfishness overwhelmed me. One year. . . it had seemed an eternity last night, but with him now in my arms, it seemed like a ridiculously short amount of time. Had I overreacted? Was jumping into Rhys's arms a terrible, horrible mistake?
"You should've stayed in Paris and accepted the offer. Call them back! One year — it's nothing. What an amazing opportunity..." Panic was leaking into my guilt.
"Ivy . . ." He stopped me. "I've made my decision."
Rhys banged a kitchen drawer shut that he had started digging through. Blaine turned his attention to a very irritated-looking Rhys. My heart felt like it was torn in two, bleeding out on the kitchen floor.
"Everything okay?" Blaine asked.
"Never been better," Rhys replied. "Just looking for my keys." He waved them in the air with a frown etched on his lips. Where was he going? I wanted to reach forward and stop him from leaving, but I couldn't move. Blaine would become suspicious.
Blaine turned back to face me, smiling. Rhys refused to look at me. I felt like I might throw up.
"Can't you tell them you changed your mind?" I asked, panicked.
He sighed once again. "I refuse to stay in Paris for another year without you. I've missed you terribly. I'm not letting us end over that. Everything is okay between us, right?"
Did this mean Blaine and I were back together? He gave up everything and returned . . . just for me. How could I not take him back? Rhys was leaving. Blaine was staying. How could I tell him everything wasn't okay without breaking his heart? I was a bold face, two-timing liar, and I hated myself for it.
As if he heard my thoughts, Rhys stormed through the kitchen, down the hallway, and exited the front door, slamming it behind him. Blaine didn't react to Rhys's abrupt exit; he focused solely on me. Where my focus was solely on Rhys, he was all I could think about, even with Blaine standing inches away from me. This wasn't good.
"I don't need that fancy scholarship," Blaine ran his thumb down my cheek. "All I need is you."
I couldn't say anything else as the facts settled in my brain. He gave up all of it . . . for me.
The tears of grief and guilt erupted down my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Blaine. I'm sorry..." I repeated it over and over while he held me to his shoulder. I wanted to tell him everything, but it would not only destroy Blaine but also his relationship with Rhys, and I couldn't let that happen. I did love Blaine...but I loved Rhys too. As Blaine held me, he told me repeatedly that everything would be okay, that we were together now, and that was all that mattered.
I felt sick to my stomach and wrecked by guilt.
Eventually, he lightly grabbed my chin and pulled me in for a long, sweet kiss. The warmth, the familiarity, the comfort in that kiss silenced my guilt-soaked brain for a moment. Then, as his lips parted and his tongue lightly found mine, another section of my brain woke up. Desire flooded me, and I kissed him eagerly. I couldn't stop the last few tears that rolled down my cheeks, though, and he tenderly brushed them away with his thumb.
"I love you, Ivy. I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.