AZURA
Who says you can move forward with your past, especially if the past has unfinished business? Moving forward can only take you so long before your past catches up and asks you to confront it. Mind it confrontation doesn't mean that there was no closure. Closure brings you the strength to move forward. But confrontation elevates you further along the path where you're supposed to go on. Confront, give closure, and see how elevated you get.
*'*'*
If I said I was in disbelief, I would be undermining the shock which I was reeling with. Currently, here I was, sitting on the couch in Jack's old home. Salvus City had my old house too, but it had been long since I made my home at Dolphin Square. However, right now, I was all but lost at the newly arisen situation, or if I may, a person, who had somehow reincarnated. Jack sat beside me as we both faced the black haired woman who seemed so young yet aged. If I had to name her after all the fantasies we had been through, I would say Sleeping Beauty had come to life.
"I'll go wait in the car." I had said, witnessing the situation but Jack clung to my arm as he held on.
"No, please, stay." He had whispered as he looked at me, shocked, scared, and vulnerable with clouded yet broken eyes.
"How?" Jack's question to Rena brought me back to my current unrest. His dark stormy eyes were filled with doubt and I knew he was wondering if this was a trick of the Shadow. I wanted to fill the silence with my questions too. But I thought better of it and stayed quiet as I watched the exchange of conversation between the siblings without a word spoken.
So, I took out my phone, pretending to have a call and walked away. I knew Jack was looking at me, following me with his eyes but I guess my ruse was believable since he didn't question it. And I wasn't that far away as well. I was close enough to seep comfort to him while being at a safe distance so that they could talk in peace.
I ended up calling Rose after all and filled in the information of last night and what was happening. She did mention that everyone was worried before they saw the note. They were still at Rose's farmhouse, packing everything up. By the evening, they'd reach home. Then Rose asked me the questions that I had no answer to.
'Wasn't Rena dead?', 'Jack told us she died, didn't he?', 'How is Rena alive?' and so on. I didn't know anything enough to give a clearer answer so I stuck with 'I don't know'. The call ended shortly after and I had no choice but to trot back in as I heard them already talking.
"You can't simply say that you don't know what happened or where you were all that time, Rena!" Jack almost yelled in frustration. I sat beside him again, a little closer this time. I saw that Rena perceived the closeness and the comfort Jack had received just through my presence. I touched the back of my hand to Jack's in an unintentional yet automatic caress. I saw how it took effect on him. He took in a deep breath, trying to keep his boiling agitation under control. Rena seemed to be apprehensive about it.
"I thought you said Rena died." I whispered, looking at the woman once again, wondering if she was truly here or was only a holographic representation.
"I never said she died. I told you she was in a coma and we lost her." Jack replied, turmoil still shrouding his eyes. He was searching for explanations which he had hoped Rena would give him. But judging by his confusion, I figured she hadn't.
"I was home while mom was at work and Addison at school. I hadn't checked in on her because it would break my heart to watch her in that state. When mom came home, she went to see her but she wasn't there. I was home all day so I knew she didn't wake up and walk out. But it panicked us. I called Addison and asked her to come home but she knew nothing about it. Rena simply vanished." Jack kept talking as though she wasn't here. As though, he still believed that Rena was lost.
"We filed a complaint to the police but they got no lead. How could they? There was no trace of a person who was in a coma for years. For months, we kept searching but to no avail." Jack met my eyes once again and said something that made my heart beat faster. "You helped me move on from the past, Azura."
But just as he said this, it was as though he crashed back to reality. He whipped his head to see Rena who sat timidly, watching the exchange between me and Jack. "And now you won't tell me how you're back here." There was distrust oozing out with every word Jack said to Rena. He was unable to accept that maybe his sister had returned after all, although he wasn't the only one to go through that. I couldn't begin to process this situation as well.
"Look, Jay... I don't know what to say to make you trust me." Rena replied with worried eyes, no doubt, willing her brother to believe her.
"How about you start telling me how long you've been awake?" Jack asked the question I had wondered about ever since I got here.
"It hasn't been long. A month maybe...?" Rena replied, enraging Jack all the more.
"A month?! And instead of finding us, you've been prancing here?!" Jack was on the edge and his voice was dangerously close to shouting. I knew that he was refraining himself because of my general dislike of loud voices. It was touching yet shattering. He wasn't alright and still he had the mind to remember such details about me.
"Look, I did find you guys, okay?! But you moved on! It didn't seem to be my place to simply waltz back in when I was clearly already replaced!" She yelled, shooting me a dirty look that obviously Jack noticed. It dawned on me then that it was how I must seem to her, a replacement. Considering that she was observing the bond Jack and I shared, she might have felt envious of it. But she was completely right to. I had days of being envious of Max's friendships with Mason when we squabbled, so I had a perfect understanding of that feeling.
"Of course we moved on! We thought you were gone and now you just want me to believe that you simply popped back?!" Jack yelled back. He was beyond agitated at this point. As much as I didn't want there to be conflict in this conversation, it seemed to be zooming that way. Both, Rena and Jack, seemed to be on the verge of blowing out.
"Um... Can you tell us the last thing you remember before you woke up... or came back?" I butted in when the silence went a little too long.
"Well, the very last thing I remember is..." She trailed off, terrified. "It was dark... and I tried to run away. I wasn't home and... it got me." She shuddered remembering the trauma that I was all too familiar with.
"And then, after that, I just woke up here, in my room." She said, gesturing to the house. I found it a bit coincidental how no one lived here even when the Lennons moved to Dolphin Square. Of course, I remembered how no one would take the house even if they tried to sell it. It was as if the house was keeping everyone at bay because it knew that the rightful member would be here. I felt a greater force working here than us mere mortals.
"Just days after I woke up, I tried calling your numbers but I couldn't seem to reach any one of you. Apparently you all had changed it." Rena said heartbroken. She had a rueful smile going as she slowly started talking about the days after she got back. Apparently, she did follow them to Dolphin Square even when she was taken from there and brought back here in Salvus City. It was then that I realized that Rena seemed awfully younger than the rest of the siblings. It could've been why Jack was so quick to recognize her.
"How come you followed us back to Dolphin Square if you couldn't reach our numbers or whatever?" Jack piped again, vexed still. His irrationality, while justified and understandable, seemed totally out of proportion. Why was he being so hard on his sister? She had already been through a lot and that too, alone. My protective side towards anyone at the end of the backlash came crashing and I knew I had to knock some sense into the bumbling, boiling, steam pot sitting beside me.
"I'm sorry for being so hard on you." Jack started as Rena looked at her brother, doe eyed, bewildered, and scared. Her eyes were screaming for comfort she hadn't gotten in a very long time. "I can't imagine what you've been through. But I can't fully trust you if you won't tell me the whole truth, Rena. I've been played by the Shadow's hands before. I can't do that again." Jack's voice cracked, overpowered by the hurricane of emotions he was currently going through.
"I wish I could tell you whatever you needed to hear, Jay." Rena's wavering voice brought me back to the exchange between the siblings. "I don't know what to tell you to make you believe me." Rena pleaded as tears rolled down her eyes, one by one. "I came back, and I just... I couldn't bring myself to come back to you all... I saw mom... Addison... you..." Rena sobbed falling onto Jack's chest as he embraced his sister.
"I missed you so much... we all did." Jack whispered with his hoarse voice. I couldn't help but let a tear, or two, fall from my eyes as well. Watching them made me miss Max all the more and right then, I yearned for my family to be here with me as well. I made a promise to myself that I would definitely spend some quality time with my mother when I got back home. We needed our time to process. We all needed time. And now with the sudden revelation of Rena being alive, we needed some time to blow off the stress.
"I inquired with the dealer and when I figured out where you guys were, I followed you all. There was this extravagant dinner and Alicia saw me there. I tried running away, I tried hiding but she caught up to me. And all the questions she asked... I didn't know how to answer them." Rena explained as she sniffed after pulling from Jack. She wiped her nose against her sleeve and proceeded to get glasses of water for me and Jack.
"I only knew that I hadn't aged and I knew if I went to school or somewhere, I would be questioned. So I stayed low-key. I even asked the dealer who came in to do his check-up to stop contacting you. I gave him the excuse that you were on a vacation and I had been giving you updates by myself. I didn't hear from him again and I was relieved. It gave me time to reflect and process what had happened." Jack was listening intently to his sister when he frowned; doubt clouding his eyes once more and I was apprehensive over the upcoming reason Jack had for it.
"He died two weeks ago, Rena. Didn't you know that?" Jack interrupted her before she could say more. And whatever she was going to say died on her lips when she heard the statement. "He got sick and couldn't survive it. It was sudden, his wife called us to find out." Rena was at a loss for words after listening to Jack. She shook her head in confusion and remorse. I knew the sudden revelation had her unnerved and I wondered if she felt herself to blame. Speaking from the dark experience, I blamed myself for all the bad that happened around me so I knew this feeling well enough to spot it in another person.
"Listen, Jack, we have to go back. Everyone would be worried." I disrupted the conversation. Considering the amount of anxiety I was currently in, I wanted nothing more than to go home to my bed and sleep. I did wonder if Rena would come with us or not. The conflicting expression Jack got when I spoke to him told me how he was thinking of the same question.
"And, what about you?" Jack asked Rena who backed away in hesitance, knowing what her brother was expecting. "Will you come with us?"
"I... I don't..." Rena cowered in unrequited fear. She met my eyes and flushed even more. I knew by that small flickering that she was feeling conscious about herself in my presence. I took in a deep breath, taken aback. It had been so long that I had lived in a comfort bubble. I didn't know one person who would feel self-conscious around me.
"Why, Rena? Why not?" Jack stepped up to his sister and grabbed her shoulders. He was taller than Rena for sure and so he had to bend down to meet her eye level. "They haven't forgotten you, Rena. We haven't forgotten you. And I know I've doubted it but I'm elated to have my sister back with me. You have to give mom and Addison the chance to feel the same." Jack explained to her gently. I couldn't help but feel a little more secure knowing that Rena would be with us. Although, I must admit that more than her safety, I thought about how we would be much more aware if the Shadow tried to pull something. Rena living at a distance would make her an easier target and we wanted to prevent that as much as we could.
"Jack's right, Rena. Your sister and your mother miss you every day." I took a step in her direction hoping she would convince herself to accompany us as well as find it in herself to not be uncomfortable around me.
It wasn't long after, that we all were in the car routing back to Dolphin Square. I was seated in the passenger seat while Jack drove. I kept looking out the window, and watched the slow setting of the sun. I hadn't expected to go back home this way but I hadn't really imagined much of the journey of return. How could you tell a mother that their long lost daughter, who was considered dead, was back?
Reaching back to town took two hours but it seemed longer than that. I had envisioned at least a conversation between the siblings but none of them uttered a word. The radio kept playing the songs that mismatched the circumstances but at least something was filling the silence. There was only so much I could complain about.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, how long have you guys been together? I don't remember Azura from before my... sleeping beauty curse." In Rena's defense, she was trying to light up the mood because within the two hour drive back home, the silence was tiresome at best. But her inquiry only made things more awkward because Jack and I hadn't ever been together in that manner.
"We're not... uh..." I started to explain, averting my gaze from Jack's who looked at me apologetically. I was reminded of the time of somewhat of the same scenario but then, it was Jack himself who jumped on the train about my love life. Now, though, it was his sister. I desperately wanted Addison or Rose to be here so that they would disrupt the awkward silence. Unfortunately, they both were waiting at home.
"Besides, it's been years since your sleeping beauty curse. For all you know we could be together for 4 years." Jack replied casually but his answer made me think of how things would be if I had known him for 4 years. I did wonder, though, if he had relationships in this time span. But knowing myself, I didn't need any answer about it.
"But you're not." Rena was perceptive, and now, somewhat chippier than before. Suddenly, I felt a little wary from her. My guards weren't down yet and I knew that I shouldn't let them down anytime soon. Even when I felt protective of her and related to her in more ways than one, I wasn't sure if I could trust her. And so far, no gesture had an olive branch. We all eased back into silence and I started reading a book that I always kept with me. Thankfully, the time had flown by. The siblings did have a chit chat but I was too keen in my book to pay attention anymore.
Now, I shifted to the driving seat outside Lennon's house after dropping them off. I thought it best to leave the family for now.
"Let's regroup tomorrow; we still have to take control of the Shadow's situation." Jack reminded me and I nodded in agreement. He gave me a small smile as he bid adieu and I did the same, catching Rena watching us in peculiar amusement. However, just before I could roll up my window to drive off, her voice traveled in. "You're so smitten with her, Jack!"
Oh my God!