ANGST INCOMING...
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Jeongyeon's POV:
I've been standing at the old Acacia tree in the middle of my favorite childhood park for 10 minutes now and contemplating if this was a good idea or not to be here as I kept pacing back and forth like an idiot thinking for leaving every 5 seconds until a voice was heard behind me, making me stop my movements entirely.
"Hey.."
That voice...
That sweet voice always makes the hairs in the back of my neck stand up almost immediately as I turned around and saw her angelic face giving me a small smile once we were face to face.
I can feel my heart clenching, seeing Mina looking prettier as ever with the warm radiant sun highlighting her beauty even more.
Mina: "Sorry, I'm late. I just dropped off my grandmother from the airport to her hotel." she smiled apologetically.
"It's no worry. I was willing to wait for you all night if I had to."
She gave me a look that made me regret what I just said but I just chuckled awkwardly which made her follow my actions a few seconds later.
"Sorry about that. Old habits." scratching the back of my neck.
Mina: "It's alright."
"Shall we walk around a bit?"
She just nodded her head as we proceeded to slowly travel around the area that we already knew by heart, reminiscing about fun memories we shared together since we were kids.
"Do you remember when Momo flew face first from that slide over there and looking like she ate some sand since it covered half of her face?" I laughed loudly as the image of a 5 year old Momo looking up to me with full bangs and ponytails with me standing in front of her shocked to see her face all covered with sand and a confused expression on her face.
Mina: "I did. I ran as soon I saw her faceplanted on the sand and you towering over her thinking you pushed her and made her eat the sand." she started chuckling.
"And what did you do next?" raising an eyebrow towards her.
Mina: *clearing her throat* "Uhmmm.. I... asked if what happened to Momo." she gently answered.
"Right after you pushed me on the sand causing me to land on my ass."
Mina: "To be fair, it really looked like you bullied Momo back then. I just went with my instincts." she was wiping tears from her eyes from laughing to much.
"It kind of did, did it?" I chuckled back. "It caught me off-guard seeing a kid like me fly that high from a slide and landing face first in front of me I didn't know how to react." getting a handkerchief and wiping away my tears as well. "You were about to kick me too but good thing Momo told you what really happened before you foot landed on my ribs."
Mina: "I know right. I did apologized over a hundred times already though. I regretted it."
"I didn't. I got to know you that day so I had no regrets."
We both went silent once again and looked at each others eyes for a few seconds as I starred at those sparkling orbs I knew all too well for almost 20 years.
"And you got to know Chaeyoung because of me too, so you shouldn't regret that incident as well." making you blink rapidly and break eye contact as soon as those words left my mouth as I wanted to smack my own face for always ruining the moment, it is such a pet peeve of mine.
Not thinking before speaking.
We sat on the bench swing with no one making a sound for God knows how long with just the wind and few people talking and walking from afar can be heard since it was in the middle of the afternoon and children were at school and adults were in the middle of working, leaving just a few people including us two occupying the park.
"We haven't seen each other for 2 years. Why all of the sudden did you ask me to meet up with you?" wanting to break the deafening silence we were experiencing and not wanting to make this more awkward than it already was.
Mina: *sighs* "I.. just thought.. it would be a good idea." she lowered her head still not looking in my direction. "You know, to meet before the wedding this weekend."
"What for?"
Mina: "I dunno..." covering her face with her hands. "I got the idea from Momo when she said she talked to Sana before marrying Dahyun. She said... It gave them closure." she whispered the last sentence.
*sighing* "So.. You planned to do the same for us?" furrowing my eyebrows. "But we're different from them Mina. Momo and Sana never dated, they were just roommates who had mutual feelings for each other while we dated all throughout high school until you broke up with me because I had to study abroad for my family's business and you didn't want to have a long distance relationship. By the time I came back 4 years later, that was when I knew you and Chaeyoung have been dating for 2 years. And second of all, Sana was NOT Dahyun's younger sister.. while Chaeyoung is mine."
Mina hasn't moved from her position but I could see her shoulders were raising and falling while I could hear her sniffling quietly as my heart was beginning to break into a million pieces once again, only Mina has the capability of putting my heart back together and at the same time smash it time and time again.
Mina: "I.. am.. so.. so.. sorry." she said through soft sobs as I can see tears falling on the soil below us, I instinctively placed my handkerchief on her lap but I still kept our short distance from one another, not wanting to show any type of physical comfort whatsoever because I know it won't be right.. or fair to both of us. And Chaeyoung too.
"Don't be sorry, you can't tell your heart of who to love. Your heart just happened you fall in love with me and my sister." I said defeatedly. "And your heart chose to love Chae more than me." I chuckled bitterly and you can't blame me for feeling this way.
Mina: "I.. didn't mean for it to happen, Jeong."
"I know you didn't." using my sweater's long sleeve to rub off some unshed tears I am trying to hold in as much as possible.
"I knew you loved me."
"You loved me first."
"But, it's unfortunate that I won't be your last."
I stood up and straightened myself up, getting ready to leave. I don't want to prolong this pain we both are experiencing especially mine because in the end of this, she gets to be with the person she loves the most, while I don't.
"Tzuyu will be Chae's best woman in the wedding. we both agreed it's for the best; letting our youngest be the one beside her in the aisle instead. And I will be leaving tonight for Australia. I decided to live the life we wanted back then in highschool when we were still together. Tzu will help me set up mom and dad's new bakery branch there after the wedding and agreed to stay with me for a few months before returning back here."
I could feel Mina standing up and looking at me but I dare not to turn around; I hate to leave her and remembering the last imagine of her crying; I just want to remember her smiling at me one last time.
"Promise me one thing; Love Chaeyoung with all your heart. Whatever you feel or felt for me, forget everything and pretend we ever existed. It'll make it so much easier for you both to live together happily ever after. I sincerely wish you both all the happiness in the world, make wonderful memories together and never forget to always choose each other every single day." I could see the shadow of Mina's arm reaching out for my shoulder but I took a step forward. Not wanting to be touched by her because I still can't trust myself around her because I made a promise to Chaeyoung that I will NEVER do anything to jeopardize what her and Mina have.
"It was a pleasure to have met you Mina Myoui."
"And thank you for giving me a chance to let me love you."
Those were my last words before walking away from the woman I have loved since I was 7 years old.
--------------------------------------------------------THE END---------------------------------------------------------
ANGST.
THE DEPRESSION IS HITTING ME EXTRA HARD TODAY.
I APOLOGIZE :(