-season one. episode nine-
-BELLAMY-
Bellamy wasn't sure if he'd ever felt so emotionally exhausted. He had gone through just about every emotion in the past twenty four hours. Between his haunting visions of the Chancellor and those whose deaths he had caused, to finding the guns, to killing Dax, he felt as if he had been absolutely drained.
But now, as he sat here listening over the radio—courtesy of Raven—as Chancellor Jaha pardoned him for his crimes, he felt all the weight being slowly lifted.
Clarke was beside him, giving him a wide smile upon his pardon. But as nice as it was to have her company, there was really only one person he wanted to see in that moment. The one person who had seen through his hard exterior from the beginning.
"You showed me tonight that you actually have a heart...and I'm going to make sure everyone knows it." She had said the words that night in the cave with a smile on her face, one that made his heart want to erupt in his chest.
He had never felt that way about any other girl before, and he damned his heart that it had to happen now. Now, when he needed his focus to be on keeping his sister alive. Now, when there were a million other things to worry about. But somehow, it was Avery who was always creeping her way into his mind.
And right now, his mind was on her.
"Have you seen Avery?" He asked Clarke, a sudden panic coming across him. He hadn't seen her when they returned to camp with the guns. Finn had been there, Raven, Octavia...but not Avery.
Clarke turned to look at him, furrowing her brows. "Not since we got back." She answered, "Why?"
He stood abruptly, taking Clarke off guard as he removed the headset, haphazardly dropping them onto the table. "No reason."
Clarke was saying something in response, but Bellamy was already out of the tent and making his way through camp, too preoccupied to care what she was saying.
"Finn!" He called, spotting the one person who should know where Avery was. "Have you seen your sister?
Finn turned, a similar expression on his face as Clarke had worn. He thought for a moment, frustration building in Bellamy. How did he not know when the last time he had seen her was? Didn't anyone learn from what happened to Octavia just a day prior?
"No," Finn answered, his face slightly paler than it had been a moment prior. "I was asleep most of the day...and I haven't seen her since I got up."
Something tightened his Bellamy's chest as he let out a deep exhale, trying to convince himself not to overreact.
"You don't think something happened to her?" Finn questioned, genuine concern flooding his voice, causing Bellamy to feel sorry for his early frustration. This wasn't Finn's fault...if anything it was his own.
Shaking his head, Bellamy turned to survey the camp. "I'm sure she's okay," he answered, lying to himself more than anything. "Do you mind going to talk to Octavia, ask her if she's seen her?"
Finn nodded, swaying slightly, his skin concernedly pale.
"On second thought," Bellamy declared, reaching out to steady the younger boy. "Maybe you should go lay down for a bit."
"No." Finn argued adamantly. "Not until I know where Avery is."
Bellamy wasn't going to argue with him. He knew there was no point. That had been him a day ago—willing to do anything to find his sister.
Once he was sure Finn wasn't about to pass out on him, Bellamy began to weave his way through camp, a specific target in mind.
Each face he passed, each one that wasn't Avery, sent a new wave of panic through him. How did he let this happen twice? What was he thinking?
"Hey!" He snapped, eyes finally landing on the boy he had been looking for.
The boy looked up, startled at Bellamy's aggression, "Y-yeah?"
Bellamy wasn't thinking properly as he grabbed onto the boy's jacket, yanking him to his feet. "Where the hell is she?" He demanded, a fistful of the boy's jacket still gripped in his hand.
The boy—Bellamy had no bother to learn his actual name—widened his eyes as she shook his head, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Pulling him closer, Bellamy face darkened, "Exactly." He gritted out, jaw clenched in anger. "I gave you one job—make sure she comes back, and you can't even do that!"He was yelling now, gathering the attention of other members of the camp.
"Bell, what are you doing?" Octavia wondered, concern coating her features as she arrived at the side of her brother. "Let him go."
Recognition had now dawned on the boy's face, "Oh," he whispered, his expression changing to terror for a moment, "Avery."
Bellamy released him, harshly shoving him away, "So she never came back to camp?" He bit out, disgust overtaking him—both for the boy and for himself. This was his fault if anyone's.
The boy looked to his friend who had been on guard with him. "I don't know...I—we had some of those nuts and we were kind of out of it."
Octavia's face had fallen as she looked up at her brother, "Avery's gone?"
Not able to compose himself enough to answer her, Bellamy turned to the camp, "Everyone listen up!" His voice boomed through the quiet night. "No one goes to sleep. Avery is missing...taken by Grounders. We have the weapons now to fight back so we're not waiting for morning. We head out now."
Mutters began to fly around the group...fear, confusion, apprehension.
"We just got Octavia back...how is someone else missing?" Someone questioned, distaste in his tone.
Because of me. Bellamy thought. I let her leave. I didn't watch over her like I should have.
Turning to the source of the voice, Bellamy's eyes darkened, "How about you worry less about how it happened, and worry about getting yourself a weapon."
The boy who had said it rolled his eyes, "Unity Day is tomorrow...and now we have to worry about going after Avery who's probably off banging a Grounder like your—"
Bellamy's fist had connected with the boy's cheek before another poisoned word could leave his mouth. Gasps flew through the group as the boy sprawled on the ground, his nose gushing blood.
Octavia stood next to her brother, not chastising him, but instead staring down at the bleeding boy with contempt, "Don't ever speak about her like that again." She bit out, voice venomous.
Addressing the group again, Bellamy spoke. "Unity Day is cancelled until we find Avery. If you have a problem with that, then you can leave this camp. Understood?"
No one was going to argue. There was no point.
"Okay," Bellamy nodded, trying not to let his voice waver with the fear that was consuming him. "Let's head out."