CHAPTER 37:
Where She Visits the Place She Came From
~~**~~
I was sitting in Colton's BMW. I hummed to myself quietly as I waited for him. We'd drove my convertible back home and then come here to this empty parking lot in Colton's car. He still hadn't told me where he was taking me.
I'd left Archer a text telling him that I was hanging out with Colton and that he should join us but he'd just told me that he had to work overtime again today and that we should go ahead and have fun without him.
I drummed my fingers against the headboard. My eyes widened in surprise when I saw Colton heading towards the car with a large stack of pizza boxes. He placed the boxes in the back seat and got into the driver's side beside me.
"Are you having a party?" I asked him with a pointed look.
He gave me a sly smirk, "Something like that." He revved the engine and pulled the car out of the parking lot without another word.
After asking him a couple of times and not getting a straight answer from him about what he was planning I gave up.
Instead, I asked him how he felt about going so far away to Louisiana State on his swimming scholarship to which he just responded with a shrug and told me that he liked the idea of a fresh start. I teased him about Caroline and laughed in delight when I saw him blush despite his scowl.
Half an hour later he parked the car and told me that we'd arrived at our destination.
When I looked out the car window my eyes widened in disbelief.
I could feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach as panic started to seize my lungs.
No
Not here
My breath came out in short exhales as a familiar feeling of dread consumed me.
We were parked in front of the St. Lawrence Orphanage.
~~**~~
All those terrible memories I'd tried to repress for so long started to resurface. I was picturing myself as the skinny freckled eight-year-old I used to be. Unwanted images started to flash in my mind
The older children locking me in a stingy closet and calling me names.
The staff and the nuns finding excuses to blame and punish me for things I never did.
My hands and legs burning from the sting of the steel rod for taking a jacket from the donation box because I'd been cold.
My knees bruised and bleeding from kneeling on frozen peas for three hours for bringing a sparrow with a broken wing into the orphanage because I couldn't leave it outside to die.
Me sobbing uncontrollably all night because they had taken my sparrow away and then told me that they had fed it to the dog.
"You okay?" Colton's voice pulled me away from my dark thoughts.
For once Colton didn't look like his smug sarcastic self. He looked empathetic.
"The first time I came back here, it was tough for me too." He swallowed like the admission was hard for him. "I was only here for a couple of months and it was still one of the most traumatic things I went through." His somber eyes met mine. "Makes me wonder how tough it must have been for people who had to stay there for years."
I took a shuddering breath before giving him a small smile, "In the end, we made it out, we survived. That's what matters." My eyebrows scrunched together, "Wait, you just said, 'the first time I came here'. You've visited this place more than once since you left?" I asked incredulously.
Usually, when people left they never looked back.
Colton nodded. "Yeah, I started coming here at the end of junior year, it started as morbid curiosity but then after meeting the kids for the first time I couldn't help but go back. Now I make it a point to go two to three times each month." He smiled.
I started up at the daunting brick building again and swallowed.
"Doesn't it scare you? Coming back here?" I asked.
He smiled. "Terrifies me. I still get nightmares about this place."
I turned my head to look at him. "Then how do you manage to come back here?"
He leaned his head back against the car seat and shrugged. "I guess I just realized that some people are worth more than our fears."
His words hit something deep within me.
Colton finally tilted his head so that his eyes met mine. "You don't have to go in if you don't want to."
"No, I want to," I told him with a determined smile.
~~**~~
The orphanage seemed different than before. I had left this place over four years ago for good and I hadn't looked back even once. I remembered it being a lot more gloomy and frightening. Maybe it was just my brain that had convinced me otherwise. I didn't recognize most of the staff either.
We walked down the large open hallway, both of our arms were loaded with stacks of pizza boxes. We finally reached what I remembered was the common room where most of the younger children hung out after school.
As soon as we stepped inside there were excited squeals and suddenly we were being swarmed by an army of miniature humans. Two women hurried towards us and took the pizza boxes from us, placing them on the wooden table in the center of the room. The kids ran around us in circles their eyes filled with delight. Most of them called out Colton's name and gave him hugs.
I couldn't keep the smile off my face at how cute they were.
"I've brought my friend here today," Colton said as he held an adorable little girl with big brown eyes and wild curls in his arms. "Her name is Fallon."
"Hi, Fallon!" All of them greeted me in chorus making me laugh.
"I like your clothes." The little girl in the pink polka dot frock with the missing front tooth said as she smiled up at me. I could feel my heart melting.
I was wearing a fire-truck red jumpsuit with a teal-colored suede jacket and a matching teal headband. I took the headband off and placed it over her head.
"Here, now we match," I told her with a grin and I watched her entire face light up. She squealed and hugged my leg before running to show her new accessory to her friends.
I suddenly understood what Colton had meant when he said that some people were worth more than our fears.
I found myself wishing that I'd had the courage to come here sooner.
~~**~~
I learned that the girl with the big eyes and wild curls was named Lucy and the one I'd given my headband to was Violet.
And the adorable boy with the huge wire-rimmed glasses was named Arthur.
And there was Samantha and Jacob and tiny Delia. There were so many of them, all equally precious.
We spent the next couple of hours watching the 1998 'Mulan' with the kids and eating pizza. We played parlor games with them till it was time for them to go to bed. I gave all of them tight hugs and promised that I'd be back soon with chocolate chip cookies.
It was already dark by the time Colton drove me back home.
He parked his car outside my apartment.
For a moment we just sat there in silence. I leaned my head back against the headrest. A hundred different emotions were swirling inside of me.
"Your boyfriend's been there with me a couple of times too," Colton spoke up finally.
I gasped. My head reared back in shock.
He smiled at my reaction. "The kids love him. Movie nights were his idea actually."
Archer had visited the Orphanage.
He had never once mentioned it to me.
"He didn't tell you because he was scared that if you went back it would bring back all that past trauma and you'd get hurt all over again," Colton answered my silent question.
My eyes stung with tears. I suddenly felt overwhelmed.
I turned my head to the side to look at him.
"Thank you," I told him sincerely. "I didn't even realize it but I needed that."
~~**~~
My phone pinged with a text message as soon as I stepped into the apartment.
It was from Archer.
The message read:
Still working.
Going to be late again tonight.Don't stay up for me baby.
I sighed as I made my way towards my room. Even though we were living together I felt like I'd barely seen Archer this entire week. It was scary how used to his presence I had become. He'd become an essential part of my existence. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Spartacus gave me a lazy meow in greeting from where he was curled up on my bed.
I changed into my Pajamas, kissed Spartacus on the top of his head, and settled into bed beside him. "Looks like it's just you and me buddy," I murmured as I ran my hand through his soft fur. Exhaustion started to take over. My eyes drooped as I quickly drifted off...
I was startled awake by a noise.
Rain was pouring steadily outside.
My room was dark and Spartacus was no longer on the bed with me. There was no sign of Archer either.
I looked at the clock on the bedside table and it read 12:16 AM.
Archer still wasn't home.
Lightning crackled outside followed by the boom of thunder, startling me.
Then I heard the noise again, a subtle tapping noise. At first, I thought it was just my ears playing tricks on me but I heard it again, louder this time. Someone was tapping on my window, but that was impossible because our apartment was on the third floor of the building.
With my heart thudding wildly I slowly made my way towards the window. I nearly shrieked when a pebble hit the glass making the same tapping noise I'd been hearing.
Finally, mustering all the courage I had I peered down from the corner of the window, and for a moment I didn't see anything except the cascading rain.
Then I caught sight of him.
My breath froze in my lungs.
Because on the ground beneath my window, stood Archer. He stared up at me completely soaked, the remaining pebbles still clutched in his hands.
"Archer!" I cried out in shock as I flung the window open and leaned out as much as it would allow me.
His lips moved as he said something but I couldn't hear him over the downpour.
Our eyes met.
There was something in his gaze. Something intense that made my stomach flutter with excitement.
Before I realized what I was doing I had slammed the window shut and was rushing out.
I sprinted out the front door and took the stairs two at a time. The rain soaked through my clothes as I ran out of the building towards him.
He was waiting for me.
I flung myself into his open arms and he swung me around in the rain making me laugh in delight.
I wrapped my hands around his neck and pressed my lips to his.
"I missed you." I breathed.
He finally set me down and ran a hand through his drenched hair.
"I had planned everything out in my head." He looked tormented. "I'm sorry Fallon I should have factored in the weather. You deserve nothing less than perfection. I'm such a fucking moron." He spoke over the roar of the rain.
My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "What are you talking about?" I asked.
He gestured to the space around us and for the first time, I noticed that there were candles placed on the ground and they seemed to be placed in a pattern. It took me a moment to realize that the candles spelled out letters; 'P' 'R' 'O'-
Realization finally dawned.
My hands went up to cover my mouth in surprise. "Oh Archer," I whispered.
His beautiful forest eyes were sad when they met mine. "I was going to light all of these candles and play 'Perfect by Ed Sheeran' on the boom box I rented so when you finally looked out the window you would see the word 'PROM?' lit up on the sidewalk with me standing with the boom box over my shoulder beside it, but this rain ruined everything. It started pouring as soon as I arranged all the candles. Just my luck." He sighed. "I've been standing here for the past hour hoping it would stop pouring in hopes that I could salvage some of this but I realized a while ago that it was just wistful thinking."
I swallowed. Too shocked to even speak.
"You stood an hour in the freezing rain so you could ask me to prom?" I asked in disbelief.
He grimaced. "Well I was hoping-"
He didn't get a chance to finish that sentence because I launched myself at him.
He staggered back a few steps in surprise but managed to catch me and stabilize himself.
His hands cupped my butt as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I tipped my head down to look at him. My hair created a curtain around our faces. The rain pelted down at us but I barely felt it.
I peppered every inch of his face with kisses.
"Thank you. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." I murmured between kisses.
His lips tilted up into a smile. "Does that mean you'll go to prom with me, Fallon Chambers?"
My lips met his in an achingly soft kiss. "Yes," I breathed as I kissed him again.
"Yes. Yes. Yes." I kept murmuring in between kisses.