TWELVE—To Ashes
─── ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽☼☾.* :☆ﾟ｡ ───
For as long as humans have been alive, they have wondered about their dreams, wanting to understand why their minds were capable of pulling them into another world when they close their eyes.
There must be a deeper meaning to falling teeth and plunging from heights, faces long forgotten and unfamiliar places that feel like home, ghostly apparitions and sparks of magic, something normal that happens every day, being chased by a random celebrity dressed like a cop and falling from a cliff into a sea made of cotton candy and then saved by the Monopoly Man who gave you a Get Out of Jail Free card.
Some dismissed these dreams as nothing more than the product of an overimaginative brain. But the demigods knew better.
They knew how much the god of dreams Morpheus and his father Hypnos liked to be creative when it came to messing with people's heads, and must delight in watching the demigods fret over their dreams, especially when they tend to slip an important vision inside a stack of nonsensical ones.
Some dreams are easier to interpret than others. They are straightforward, pulling them into the past or astral projecting themselves to places they've never been before, a spectator in someone else's life. There are times they were even offered tantalizing glimpses of the future.
Other times, these visions are like modern performance art, buried in so many layers and metaphors that they wonder if it can ever be made sense of.
Lux did not often dream.
Whenever she fell asleep at night, she yielded herself to a darkness so deep that this must be what the universe was like before the beginning, before even Chaos.
It felt like a shell. It felt like the last breath of air. It felt like liquid. It felt like nothing. It felt like drowning.
It felt like she would never wake up, but as long as the sun would rise, so would she.
It was rarely a good thing for her to dream.
It began with the sensation of being dropped from a great height, the feel of damp soil weighing her down. She was scorching hot and freezing cold at the same time, and she wondered if there was ever any difference between flying and falling.
The ground shifted beneath her. She saw a murky river with all matter of strange things floating on it—cracked photo frames, dusty wedding rings, trophies and awards twined with cobwebs, memorabilia that were once so dear now bobbing along a place that led nowhere.
There were faceless spirits standing like statues on a field of dark obsidian grass, those being pushed into a river of boiling lava, people wearing all types of clothing from different eras lounging under the hazy sun.
She saw a garden with luminescent shrubs and trees bursting with pomegranates. She saw her brother asleep in a black-marbled room with no ceiling, curling on a dais where sat a throne made of fused bones. She reached out her arm and wanted to scream his name, but her mouth would not form the syllables.
Instead, all she heard was an ancient, gravelly voice that must have come from a mouth that hadn't been open for ages.
"You shall leave one behind, and fail to save what matters most, in the end."
She tumbled further still, and kept falling, falling...
Lux woke with a breathless gasp.
No sunlight bathed the Hermes' abin. Instead, the day was dark and gloomy gray. The clouds had formed a barrier, fortified with lightning. The campers did not realize how much they missed the blue sky until it was gone.
The threads of her dream weaved a knot around her heart, pulling tight at the four chambers and reminding her so much of what it was like to fall that it made bile rise in her throat.
There were few places she would guess to be the subject of her dream, but why did she suddenly dream of her brother? More importantly, why was he alone? And why was he asleep in what looked to be Hades' throne room?
What did the voice mean when it said those words?
Lux rubbed her eyes, a feeling of dread overtaking her entire body. Today was the deadline, and if the bolt was not returned to Zeus, it would spell the end of the world. She had always believed that they would complete the quest and everything would be fixed, but the dream rattled her.
She took a deep breath in and out to calm herself down. She sat up and looked at all the people she knew.
(Ciaran's spot lay empty, but she preferred not to dwell on the thought.)
Her attention was taken by the shroud hanging by the door, a piece of midnight blue linen embroidered with the moon and stars, and a sleeping figure with flying z's, along with the symbol of Hermes in the corner, courtesy of Luke. It took them a week to finish, done in between training and the occasional quiet break times. They all chipped in to help, no matter how small. A few went to the store to get the cloth and cut it into a shroud. Some simply put their tiny initials all over the rim, while the more talented weavers focused on the details.
It was Lux's first time to create a burial shroud, and she never had so many pricks on her fingers as she did during the last week.
She tiptoed over to the shroud and felt the soft fabric with her hands, running her fingers over the crescent moon and the constellations that were his favorite—Capricorn, Andromeda, the crown of Ariadne.
She traced the sleeping figure under the night sky, so similar to the figure in her dream. Was he ever to wake up?
And what the voice said...it sounded eerie and foreboding, like it was part of a prophecy...
There was the sound of footsteps on her side, and she looked over to see Luke standing in front of his bedroom.
"Lux? Is that you?" he said in a sleepy voice as he ran his fingers through his mussed-up hair.
"Luke? What are you doing already up?"
"Couldn't sleep."
Luke still muttered in his sleep at times and had his nightmares, but ever since their conversation, she had not dared to bring it up again. This time too, she couldn't bring herself to ask.
"It's still early. You should go back to bed."
He shook his head and yawned. "I don't feel like going back to sleep. Are you looking at the shroud?"
She nodded, silent for a moment, before whispering, "Luke, is it okay if I talk to you for a moment?"
"Of course, let's go outside."
It was the height of summer, but the air had an uncharacteristic chill that made them both wish for the comfort of their beds.
They sat in front of the door, where Lux told him her dream. By the end of it, she was shivering, perhaps less from the wind and more because she remembered what it was like to fall.
"Why don't you ask Clovis about it later?" Luke said.
"Maybe I should. But I'm afraid he will say it's nothing good." She rubbed her arms, feeling the goosebumps rising on her skin. "You know, like it's an omen or something."
"Hey, I know you worry about Ciaran." Luke wound an arm around her shoulder. "We all do. But everything will be fine. Everything's going to turn out great."
Lux shivered. "I'm scared, Luke."
"I know you are, Lux. It's normal for you to feel this way. But you just have to believe in them. Besides, they have Annabeth with them."
"She can sure get out of any situation." Lux grinned, one that didn't stay on her face. "They're going to be okay, right Luke?"
"They will be back before you know it."
She squeezed the hand he placed on her shoulder. "Thanks, Luke. You're a really good person, you know that?"
He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. None of his smiles have been doing that lately.
Luke let out another yawn. "Maybe I'm going to go back to bed for a bit. Are you coming inside?"
"I think I'm going to stay out for a bit more."
"Suit yourself. Just be careful not to catch a cold. And also, happy birthday, Lux."
She watched him enter the cabin, a breath leaving her like a fine mist. On any other day, sitting under the sun would make her feel better, but it was difficult to feel even the faintest of sunlight when all she could see was a stretch of nebulous clouds like a thick blanket.
Lux leaned her head on the cabin wall, thinking of better memories—late nights with Ciaran, listening to Annabeth bouncing off ideas on what she's going to build at camp if she had the chance, beach walks with Percy, throwing grapes into Grover's mouth.
There were many more to be made.
A thin sliver of pale sunlight burst through. It was a beginning.
─── ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽☼☾.* :☆ﾟ｡ ───
Lux did end up consulting Clovis about her dream. It took more time than she expected, due to the fact that she would yawn in the middle of talking and became sleepy throughout their conversation. The son of Hypnos had that effect on people, what with his breath that smelled like warm milk and cotton-like presence that made her think of a thick, wool blanket.
He confirmed what she was afraid of. She had dreamed of the Underworld. But maybe it wasn't all bad. Clovis told her that there was a possibility the dream was only telling her that they had made it to the Underworld. Lux wanted to believe it was that simple, but deep inside her heart, she knew that there was something else to her dream.
It made Lux wonder if Clovis only said that to make her feel better.
(It was her fault that she left out the sentence uttered in her vision.)
Throughout the day, the campers would peer up at the sky every few minutes, waiting to see if there were any improvements to be found. There were promising signs here and there, as the dark gray clouds slowly began to be dispelled, revealing pockets of blue between the gaps.
It was early afternoon when Lux heard the news.
The sky was starting to clear up, leaving them with a beautiful expanse of azure blue that resembled a mirrored ocean, with dots and wispy waves of clouds that passed by. There was still the faint rumble of thunder, but it was becoming more distant by the minute.
Quinn had run over to her, saying in between pants that the wood nymphs told him Annabeth and Grover were back. Lux had never run so fast in her life.
She skittered to a stop in front of the Big House, her face brightening when she saw the two of them talking to Chiron. There was no other thought in her mind except for the fact that they were alive.
She must have startled them when she sprinted over and threw her arms around them, for they jumped out of their skins when they saw her.
"Annie! Grover! Thank the gods, you're safe! I'm so glad you're back." Lux lightly winced when she took a step back and saw their tattered clothes and the bags under their eyes. "You look like you haven't slept a wink. Have you even eaten anything yet?"
"It's good to see you too, Lux," Grover said, but she wondered why he had a hard time making eye contact with her.
"Sorry, I'm over here bombarding you guys with questions when it's clear that you two need some rest." At that moment, when the overwhelming relief left enough room in her system for her to think more clearly, she realized what was missing. "Where's Percy and Ciaran?"
She saw the guilty look that passed between the three of them, and only then did she notice how grim all of their faces were.
"Percy is in Olympus returning the Master Bolt as we speak." Chiron was the first to break the silence.
Her mood improved once more. "I knew you guys were going to be able to find it. I'm so proud of you all. But then where's my brother? Is he with Percy, too?"
She didn't understand why Annabeth looked so sad when her first-ever quest turned out so successful.
"I think you should sit down first, Lux," Annabeth said.
"What is it? Is something wrong?" That familiar coil of dread was weaving its way around her heart, but she sat down at the pinochle table like Annabeth said.
"We–Before we went to the Underworld, we were given three pearls by a Nereid. They turned out to be our way out of that place when negotiations with the Lord of the Dead fell through." Annabeth's face twisted, as if each sentence hurt her. Lux had never seen her friend this way before, and it scared her even more. "But there were only three...Grover, Percy, and I did everything we could to convince Ciaran otherwise, but he...he chose to stay behind."
"Stay behind?" Lux made an incredulous sound. "What do you mean?" Her voice gradually trailed off as the pieces began to fall into place. Her stomach lurched as she was reminded of her dream, of seeing her brother all alone in that cold and dark place. But it couldn't be. There was no way it could be true.
"I tried to take his place," Grover said woefully. "I would've given anything, but he had made a binding promise before we could do anything to stop him."
"I'm sorry, Lux. I'm so sorry." Annabeth reached out a hand to hold Lux. "But we're going to get him back."
"No, no, that can't be." Lux recoiled from Annabeth's hand. Having someone touch her right now would be too much. "He promised–he promised me that he would return safely. That he would be here." She felt lightheaded, and her stomach kept spinning in all directions as if she were on a rollercoaster. "He can't...he can't be down there. He's not going to survive. Who knows what kind of monsters are down there? And Hades...Hades isn't going to leave him alone."
"Lux—"
The chair clattered to the ground. For a moment, Lux's vision blurred as she felt herself becoming short of breath. "Please, please tell me this isn't true. Please tell me this is just some joke that Ciaran came up with."
They all looked away. They all knew that Ciaran would never come up with a sick prank like that.
Lux was in her dream again, her body weightless as she continued to fall through the endless abyss. She was splitting into a million pieces, drifting through the dark.
Wake up, Lux. Wake up.
Her limbs felt numb and unresponsive, like she was no longer in her own body.
She didn't even hear her own screams.
─── ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽☼☾.* :☆ﾟ｡ ───
Lux didn't really remember what happened next. She was operating purely on autopilot. She must have screamed until she was hoarse, for her throat felt scratchy when she tried to run up the attic of the Big House.
There were hands trying to pull her back, voices that called her name and pleaded for her to calm down. She didn't care. She needed answers. She needed answers now or she knew she would go insane.
Lux had never gone up to the attic before, but she couldn't care less about all the war memorabilia and bounties shoved inside the dusty place. Instead, she zeroed in on the husk sitting on the wooden tripod stool.
On any normal day, Lux would cringe at the sight of the rotten corpse. It was the first time she ever laid eyes on the Oracle, after all. After that initial reaction, she would have wondered how the famed Oracle of Delphi befell such an outcome, and muttered a silent prayer in the hopes that she would one day be delivered from her fate.
But this was no normal day, and Lux could not find it in herself to think of anything else.
"Oracle of Delphi! How do I save my brother?" She demanded.
The skeletal body remained motionless, posing as nothing more but a gruesome memento.
"Tell me!" Lux raised her voice, her hands trembling. "Please! There must be a way to save him! I can't just leave him down there. I can't."
The lonely husk did not stir, did not even lift a single finger. The Oracle remained bowed in her seat, unwilling to divulge anything.
"Was it your voice in my dream? Was it some kind of prophecy? Was my brother destined to be left behind?"
(Why did it have to be him?)
The mummy did not open her mouth, allowing Lux not even an attempt at closure.
"Please." Lux hiccuped as a set of sobs wracked her. She fell to her knees. "He's my brother. I would do anything for him. Please, just tell me how I can get him back."
The sun shined its mocking light through the attic window. No gods were listening to them here.
Lux didn't know who carried her down, but it must have been Chiron, for she felt his warm, comforting touch as she cried.
Annabeth had pulled her into a hug, silent as she stroked her back. The daughter of Athena did not try to offer any plan or solution. Perhaps it was best that she didn't.
The wind carried the sound of footsteps. Someone was approaching the Big House.
"Percy," Grover said.
Through the blur of her tears, Lux could see the familiar, lanky figure of that boy who came to camp only a few weeks ago. There was more confidence in his gait now, but it all crumbled when he saw her.
She must have been a sight then. Her eyes were red and puffy, tear trails clinging to her cheeks, her hair all messed up, and snot running down her nose.
"Lux." There was so much pain in his voice, all wrapped up in her name.
In the future, when Lux would look back at this moment, she would understand that he was just as hurt as she was. But right now, she was tired. She was heartbroken and listless. Most of all, she was angry.
"You promised." Lux's voice was raspy as she looked straight at Percy. "You promised me that you wouldn't let anything happen to him."
Percy flinched, but he didn't say anything. He simply bowed his head. In shame? In regret?
"I believed you. I trusted you. I had faith that you would keep your word." She trembled. "And now Ciaran's gone."
She wanted to scream and shout. She wanted to release all of the things weighing her down. She wanted to do something to get rid of this rage inside of her. But the sun was starting to make its way down the trees and she was so tired.
"Lux, it's not Percy's fault," Grover tried to say, but if she thought about it for a moment longer, she would cry and never be able to stop.
"Annie? Can you help bring me back to the cabin?" Lux turned her head away. She couldn't bear to look at Percy any longer. "I can't stay here anymore."
─── ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽☼☾.* :☆ﾟ｡ ───
Everyone from the campers and nymphs and satyrs had clapped Annabeth, Grover, and Percy on the back, congratulating them and welcoming them home. Annabeth's siblings all pulled her into a group hug, telling her how proud they were, telling her she did a good job even as she nodded along thoughtlessly, her eyes glazed over. Grover's satyr friends did the same, patting him on the back as he hung his head.
According to camp traditions, heroes who came back from their quests would be wreathed with laurel and have a big feast thrown in their honor.
The feast was big all right, with all the fancy food that they didn't get to eat on a daily basis. Freshly-grilled cheeseburgers, chicken wings with all types of sauces you could imagine, gyros and souvlaki drizzled with tzatziki, salads tossed with olives and feta, and trays of baklava and apple pie for dessert.
It was supposed to be a joyous occasion celebrating the return of the questers and their success in saving the world, but there was a somber note in the air, with no table quieter than Cabin Eleven.
Chiron had made a speech, echoing everyone's congratulations to the heroes before lapsing into a brief silence, his brown eyes downcast in the moonlight. Lux could only pick up bits and pieces of what he said as he called Ciaran's absence a great one that would be felt by everyone. He was a true demigod, Chiron had said, a prized camper. A dear brother.
It was not the end, he added. Ciaran will be brought back, by any means possible.
Lux's focus was on the plate in front of her as everyone raised their glasses in respect, but she had no real interest in the delicious spread of food before her. She moved the food around her plate, too sick and exhausted to eat. Lou's arm was looped around hers, whispering encouraging words into her ear to try and get her to eat something, but all Lux wanted to do was curl up in bed and wake up from this horrid reality.
Lou and Quinn had tried all throughout the afternoon to cheer her up. Lou told her that although the living could not stay in the Underworld for long less they ran the risk of dying themselves, there was still hope for Ciaran as long as he hadn't consumed anything from there. She also offered to contact her mother to try and get him out. Lux appreciated her friends, and she did try to cling to the hope brought on by their words, but it was so very, very dark.
After the feast, a procession was led to the bonfire, where the burial shrouds would be presented before being fed into the flames.
Annabeth's shroud was made from gray silk, embroidered with owls in golden threads that looked like they could soar from the fabric at any second.
Since Percy was the only resident of Cabin Three, the children of Ares had volunteered to make his shroud, to the shock of everyone. But when they showed the shroud, they all understood why they wanted to be the one to make it.
They had taken an old bedsheet and painted smiley faces with X's for eyes along the border, with a large LOSER written messily in red right in the middle.
They were the only ones frowning when it burned.
Lux's hands were twisted in Ciaran's shroud, gripping it so tight that her knuckles turned white. Her brother wasn't dead yet (he couldn't be), but since he wasn't here, his shroud couldn't join the others in the bonfire either. It was an agonizing state of limbo.
She could feel eyes gluing themselves to her, their gazes filled with pity. She knew Percy's eyes were among the mix. He had been glancing at her all night, looking like he wanted to talk to her about something, but she didn't have the strength in her to listen to him—to anyone for that matter.
She didn't want their looks. She didn't want to feel the fabric burrowing itself around her fingers, into her veins. And more than anything, she hated herself for not being able to stay awake long enough to get through the night in remembrance of her brother.
The fire was sputtering out and Lux was on the verge of collapse when a noise whistled through the trees. It was a soft, gentle chord like the beginning of a lullaby.
From the shadow illuminated by the firelight emerged a figure that they all knew.
The liquid shade blended back into the darkness, leaving behind Ciaran. Dark-haired, gangly Ciaran, whose body trembled and whose knees looked like they may give out at any second.
"Hey, I'm back. Sorry, I'm late." He cracked an exhausted smile, his deep brown eyes luminous with flames.
No one said anything for a while because all they could do was stare at him with their eyes popped halfway out of their skulls.
The shroud dropped unceremoniously from Lux's hands as she opened her mouth, but no sound came from deep within her. She willed her legs to move and trudged herself through the murk of her mind. The breeze fluttered between the two of them, a signal that pushed her to go to him.
"Lux." Gods, it was his voice and the slight crinkle of his eyes.
She sprinted over to him, her arms shivering as if she recently submerged them in cold water.
"Ci-Ciaran?" If this were a dream, she would forever curse the one who weaved it.
He gave her another smile—familiar, warm. "Happy birthday, Lux."
They fell to the ground at the same time. Lux caught Ciaran in her arms as he fainted, their knees scraping against the dirt. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Lux wrapped her arms tightly around him, wailing and crying his name over and over as tears ran down her face.
"You're back, you're back! Gods, you're here! You're alive...you're alive."
She fell asleep like that, in the familiar comfort of her brother's presence.