Adonis
I've been by his sides for fifty six years.
I've loved him for forty of them.
From the lusting gazes all the women in this room have thrown at him from the moment he appeared between the shadows, I know for a fact I'm not the only one mesmerised by his unearthly handsome features. The arrogance at which he carries himself with works like magic on me, and I can't help but smile when I see him entering the ballroom. We're only in the early hours of the party, and yet he looks about done with it already.
"Adonis, did you hear a word I said?" I turn my head to see an annoyed Liam, his eyes hardening once he sees where, or who, my attention was directed to. Silently begging that he's not going to start another argument, when he's the last one to have a say when it comes to holding on to impossible love. He may be my brother by heart, but Candice is too good of a woman to be used in the ways he does. But that's a conversation he's not ready for.
"Sorry, can you say that again?" At my question, he lets out a loud breath and I notice Damien shaking his head dejectedly, his eyes judging.
What's his problem?
I never know what the deal is with this guy. He's one of the new recruits who came in from our camps in the South of Dynastra, and everyone likes him. Eliza, the most stuck up bad-shit crazy woman I've ever met, who always treats me like I'm one who needs to be supervised when we all know that she can't be left alone with a sword for a minute before she stabs someone, befriended him within a week. Dameon let him touch the crown after a month of him being High Warrior.
A fucking month.
When I had to wait literal years to put it on my head for mere seconds. Even Father treats him better than he treats me. The pat on the shoulder. The acknowledgment. The proud smile. He gets all of it. And I get none.
All of that because I chose politics over sweating in a tight armour while swinging a sword all day. It's not even that I gave up on my training, I just focus my life around knowledge rather than death.
Whatever, at least I can keep my dick in my pants and don't visit the whorehouse every other day.
"I said that we did a sweep of the place and didn't find anything," Liam repeats slowly.
"Nothing at all? Not even in the Lords bureau?"
"Nope," Eliza shrugs, finishing what I think is her third glass since we came.
"You forgot the dungeons," his husky voice speaks from next to me, and I jump in surprise as he manages, like always, to sneak up on us. It's as if he appears from nowhere. Slowly, I direct my gaze to him, astonished by the wonders of magic when his smooth beige skin appears in my line of sight.
The messy way in which his smooth black hair falls over his pierced ears makes him look wild, and I crave for the day where I can finally comb my fingers through it.
Pulling at its roots when I drown in the ecstasy I know he can give me. The only aspect I wish he wouldn't change about his inhumane appearance are his tattoos inking his neck down to his arms and chest. Gods, have I imagined too many times to count my fingers tracing the lines of them as he fucks me like no man has ever been able to.
"Did you succeed?" It takes me a moment to realise that his deep ocean eyes are on me, and I want to kick Liam in the balls for chuckling when an obvious blush spreads over my cheeks, down to my neck.
"Y-yes I did, Your Highness," I although I'm not quite sure why he wanted me to find the identity of the Cat-Eye Lord's younger brother. From his records, he's nothing more but a scum that keeps a harem of young women locked up in his second home, near the border of Cat-Eye and Cold Blood. A couple of scams here and there, nothing worthy of the King's attention though.
"Good."
He looks around, staring longer than I'd like at Pandora's brother, who's too busy discussing something with fellow nobles to notice how his fiancée is eye fucking her King. I fiddle with my fingers when a group of gorgeous women approach me, probably hoping to gain my title's favour. Their faces are gawk worthy, but I'm far too preoccupied with the way in which his Highness, no, Ciaran, takes a sip of Liam's champagne. Licking his lips when he suddenly turns his head to the large golden doors, at the entrance of the hall. The humongous statue keeping me from seeing what it is his eyes search for so frantically.
"They've arrived," Eliza says, the tone in her voice diminished to a softness I've never heard her speak with before. I'm not stupid to not know who it is that she's talking about with that face. It's same face I make when he's there.
The air around us cools down to a shuddering chill when Liam's glass freezes mid air in Ciaran's hand, his head tilting towards her, who seems blissfully unaware of it as she's been pulled into a conversation by Damien. His eyebrows furrow, and I swear to have seen his eyes gain that same innocent yet dangerous look, the one that foresees that Eliza's corpse will soon be thrown around in patches of meat and bones, before he vanishes from next to me.
"Where has he gone?"
"Do you really need to ask?" Liam asks sarcastically, the worry not passing by me while he glares at Ciaran as he creeps up from behind Pandora, who's still oblivious to his presence.
Her dark hair is pinned together in a simple style that allows the thick curls to fall over her back, her curves enhanced by the tight dress she decided to wear. Almost every other woman here wears a corset tightly to make their hips as narrow as possible, yet she wears every imperfection of her body with pride.
I would have felt attracted to her, wasn't I a sucker for a male already. It speaks for itself that she gains the attention of the men surrounding her like a magnet, and with her strong personality, and the cute facial expressions that make her look like a bunny - she's a jewel of the rarest kind.
I just wished he wouldn't be so drawn to her, like a moth flying towards a flame regardless of whether or not its wings will burn to dust were it to come too close. He doesn't even care that it's clear as day that his eyes are captivated with her long locks, his finger shamelessly reaching for her and picking some strands up.
Stroking them as if they were made of the finest cashmere. Unable to witness any more of it, I stop a waiter to grab another glass of champagne, the liquid having the same bland taste of water as I swallow it with no second thoughts.
"Believe me, you wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Catching the King's eyes, how many survived that?" Eliza interrupts my thoughts, making all of us nod when the images of the many piles of bodies we had to carry out of his room appear in our minds.
People who he had taken interest in, for any reason at all. I remember the woman, many years ago, who was born with a third eye, having the ability to turn people into stone at one glance. I mustn't have been older than sixteen sun years when I came across her in the hallway, a blindfold ties around her forehead, keeping the third eye from opening. She looked so proud, so content of being at the Royal Court, and personally called into his chambers.
Little did she know that when the King calls you into his chambers, the only way you get out, is dead. Days passed by, and new statues would be settled in the hallways, posing differently each time. He killed her when she called him by his first name, weeks later. Only recently, did his new 'toy' succumb to his monstrous ways. Dameon reassured me that he never slept with any of them, since none could survive his poison.
"That's not the only thing she caught," Liam mumbles. With my back towards the dance floor, I don't pay much mind to the rising ruckus igniting behind me. I turn to catch a glimpse the newly engaged couple, before turning back to Liam who's lost in devouring the snacks presented.
"Believe me, Adonis. There are many, many people in our realm worthy of your love, that can love you with the same passion. He is not one of them. They are not like us." I can't hide my surprise when Eliza speaks up in turn, her empathy not one I'm familiar with. The manner in which she speaks would indicate that she has experience in the area. I knew that something was going on between Pandora and her. I mean, only someone as blind as Liam would miss the tension stretching between them sine their return from Hilas. I just assumed it to be a regular hook- up.
"How would you know?"
"Believe me when I say that I've felt the connection, the passion, the attraction," she pauses for a moment, looking at all of us individually before continuing in a vulnerable tone, "The fear. There is a darkness in them, running deeper than any of your emotions for him. There are plenty of fish in the sea, Adonis. Don't spend your time on the birds waltzing in the sky. "
She finishes, looking back at me with compassion, and I'm not sure how to feel about that. Compassion indicates a degree of pity, the same pity my servants regarded me with every time Mother would compare me to her friends son's and I would end up crying between stuffed toys. The loneliness of feeling different than the norm engraved in my memory. That's why I need him.
Because he would understand.
Like no one else, he should understand what it's like.
"Even if he has feelings for the King, the man in question has shown no signs of reciprocating them. Has he?" I sense the aggravation in Liam's voice. My dear friend has always been overprotective, for he's the only one to have seen the other side of me. The one who's raw, unconcealed pain of the past is still clear as day. The one who craves attention like a drug, as if it would make up for the empty feeling that takes over whenever I'm left by myself for too long.
"Oh, pardon me, he has... to her." Fuck that, I take it back. He's an asshole who doesn't know how to get over his dead fiancée after fucking years of grief, so he uses a cute innocent girl that comes from a powerful family as a rebound.
Why do I even bother being friends with this shit head?
"No offence, Liam, but you're not exactly my role model when it comes to expressing ones feelings," I cross my arms over my chest, raising an eyebrow, "Dameon had to physically hold the King back from killing Pandora when he heard we brought her home."
"But, that was before he met her, wasn't it?" Next to me, I hear Damien chuckle, and I want to hit him square in the face.
"Excuse me, Sir Pisces?" I hear a shy voice speak from next to me, only to look down at yet another set of desperate eyes twinkling with hope of a better, and by better I mean richer, future. The smile comes easy, throwing in a couple of compliments, It's always easier to reject when you warm them up first. Even if I forget their names as soon as they walk away, it'll hurt less this way.
"Cease your teasing Liam, I'm sure it's nothing." After I see the dejected girls run of, amused by their perseverance in searching for a partner as I watch them approach a group of shifters their age with caution. Behind me, gasps fill the brightly illuminated hall once more, the dark outside letting me see my reflection in the mirror.
Disgusting, Father's voice resonates in my mind, a man is supposed to be a strong leader - the head of his household. Look at you, you can't even sleep in the dark without wetting your bed!
The commotion becomes louder and louder, and I feel the heaviness of Liam's arm on my shoulder when he turns me around, slowly. Almost cautiously. The piercing noise of shattering crystal overshadowed by the loud music, I'm being pulled back slightly to keep the shattered glass at my feet to stain my leather shoes.
"Does this look like nothing to you?"
My breath remains stuck in my throat, the sight before me being so mesmerising yet petrifying that it feels wrong to breath the same air as they do. I pay no mind to the colourful language rolling of Liam's tongue, nor do I bother to glare at Damien when he murmurs, "Fuck".
The awe evident in his voice. Eliza ran of somewhere, and I can't be bothered to listen to Liam's useless advice.
"Oh, Fucking Heavens," I murmur.
The man who has always been the dad of the group isn't there, and right now I wish he was. Because now is the time for one of his wise words of advice. As his commanders, Dameon, Liam and I are his closest friends - his only friends, allies and family. We've been his from the moment we were born in the Dynastra Palace. And after all these years, today I realise that none of us have ever really seen him smile. Until now.
"'Heavens'?" Liam interrupts my train of thoughts to snort at me, "These two together, brother, would be hell." True that. For no Heavenly pair should look this perfect together. What other purpose should their beauty have but to bewitch those of goodwill who make the mistake of extending their hearts towards them.
"I can't wait to see it."
Mage Esmeralda has never appeared more at Court than since Pandora arrived, and I would be stupid not to understand her intentions. Her sudden request to leave the Mage Tower and travel back to Aelfdene must have something to do with her as well, I bet. Sisterhood or manipulation, it's not my business to analyse the mage's intentions.
"Shouldn't you be dancing with that boy, witch?" Liam glares, his tone more vicious than usual. Those two have been like cat and dog ever since she came here. He bears no trust in her and her kind, and she doesn't even try to hide her distaste for him.
Understandable...If you ask me.
"And miss the opportunity of seeing our future Queen's first dance?" Ignoring the painful dagger scraping at my heart, I watch, eyes wide in wonder and dread, how Ciaran whispers something in Pandora's ear. The close proximity between them making me wish she would be one easy to hate, and not be so loveable.
"Careful with your words," Liam says dangerously low, the tension between them rising. "Witch, anyone who heard you would think you're planning treason." I know that part of his hate for her specifically is because of her past with our brother, and commander. No outsider could guess what the two did between the sheets when Dameon went through his manwhore faze after Penelope's death, the frowns they regard each other with every time they cross paths don't say much.
"Are you losing reason, general, or is the age finally catching up on you?" She answers with a smug expression, making even I look at her. Her gaze remaining on the only woman I ever saw her befriend in the many years at our Capital.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"These steps, don't they ring a bell in your handsome and adorably shallow heads?" She asks, and we all look as Ciaran lifts Pandora by the hips. I tell myself that it's just because of the far proximity that it looks as if they're kissing.
"It's The King's Waltz. My King, the High Mage of Aelfdene, danced it on his engagement ceremony with Queen Astra. It was quite a sight to behold." Her long painted nail taps against her chin pensively. "Although this is not far from it."
"Do you think he may have an ulterior motive? Seducing the forgotten daughter of the most powerless Clan would neither bring us any closer to defeating the Salavars, since they're barely strong enough to protect themselves. As a King, he would be smarter to marry a foreign Royal from House Asra or even Eos. But, why her?"
Liam debates with Damien, both men lost arguing what motive our calculating ruler could have to approach her. And it would be far too low for me to admit that I secretly hope there to be an ulterior motive behind his interest in the Princess. Although that hope dies like fire in the rain when the Mage laughs loudly, the melodious noise sounding raspy from the excessive talking in one night.
"Isn't it obvious? The King was hers the moment he laid eyes on her."
At her words, the overwhelming loneliness I tried to bury time and time again, each time he rejected me comes back clashing against the illusion of a future I had filled my dreams with far too many nights. Walking over the pieced of glass, ignoring the concerned calls of my brother, I walk towards the doors of the ballroom, needing fresh late-night air like a fish out of water. On my way out, I come across a maid, her silver hair and light eyes making me stare at her for longer than decent.
"Show me the way out, Please."
Wordlessly, she points at the closest door on the left, her eyes not looking away from my chest. Nodding gratefully, I practically run outside, the fresh air welcoming me like a long lost home. And for Gods know how long, I stay roaming outside. The entire time, one words replayed itself over and over again in my head, its images no doubly will haunt me for the longest nights.
"Hers."