"I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP EVERYTHINGGGGG" says me who thought that I was discontinuing this book forevermore cause I'm literally not funny anymore but y'know what? I KEEP COMING BACK FOR MOREEEEEE + have a strange addiction to my favorite Olivia Rodrigo song everrrrr.
oN tO rOmAnCe cLaSs aPpArEnTLy.
*grabs tissue box* I TOLD MY FRIENDS YOU WERE THE ONE *sobs* AFTER I'D KNOWN YOU LIKE A MONTH *insert wild, dramatic pause*.... and then you kiss some girl from high school?!?!?!? EXCUSE MOIIIII?????? WHAT??? ABOUT??? ME-HEE-HEE????
*adele voice* hELLo. We're back likeeeeee 13 Zeestembers later ( Formally known as 'Zecember' but I was typing this and realized that if I add an extra e, it would sound like 'Zeest', so then I decided to write their whole name because Zeestember is the 13th month of the year, sO WHY NOT?!?! )
Oh yeah, so like we're back and I'm still teaching this stupid course. Shawn Mend-Ez never told me why yet showed up on my top 100 songs I streamed in 2023 playlist. WHY?! Yes, I've got proof cause I was raised by a Karen.
Is this a sign that I must get Lost In Japan?! :0 cUz i Can'T sEeM tO gEt yOU oFf mY MiND
Well kiddos, let me tell you something- let's call it a life lesson from my extremely wise 17 past years of life; LOVE IS EMBARRASSING AS HELL.
Richard: wut, wHy is dat?
OHHHH, LET ME TELL YOU WHY CHEE ( short for 'Richard', totally came up with that myself and has nothing to do with my IT phase and Reddie Era of Early 2020 ). You see, I stayed in bed FOR LIKE A WEEK when space is what the dude said he needed. Bad idea right? *winks in certified Livie* uh I mean *grabs tissue box* Ohmygosh I'm sOsSOo heartbrken about dis.
I WAITED BY MY PHONE LIKE A GODDAM FoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOL.
And now, it don't mean a thing?!?!? LIKE EXCUSE MOI DUDE?!?!?!? Me so pissed, me sob so much sob sob sob.
Richard: I literally don't care. *sails away on the banana boat*
Sabrina: Yeah, me either *continues to text bestie Olivia Rodrigo* In fact I feel so much lighter like a feather not having to listen to this nonsense. Blegh bleh, I'm talking NONSENSE.
JUST WATCH AS I CRUCIFY MUSELF !!! *literally no onse is watching except for Maisie Peters and Billie Eyelash* Hold up, how did some of my two fav singers arrive here just to watch MOI???? I'mma expode... wth is expode. Screww tgis DSZfdxgchvjhbkjnlkml,;.szfdxgchvjbknlm;,;.dgfvjbhknlml,zxdgcfhvjbknjlmk;,l'.;qwersdtfghbnj2q34w5e6r7t8yuoipo[p :)))
eRrOr eRrOr cLaRa hAs sToPpEd FuNCTiOnING. *Zeest brings me back to life* OH HIIIII, HWERE WAS I?!
oH yeah so what was I saying???!!! *clears throat* aHeM. Ah yes... for some wEiRd second-string LoSeR *Charlie Puth magically shows up* OMY GOD IS THIS GONNA HAPPEN EVERYTIME I SAY THE SONG TITLE OF SOMEONE?! Hold up *stop* let me try something *you're losing me* ENCHANTED.
Time Machine: Taylor Allison Swift is not detected around here. TRY AGAIN LATER LOSERRRR
Charlie Puth: uR sUcH a LoSeR, wHy'D yOU eVeR LOSe hEr? ( Yes, I tweaked the lyrics, shuhshshhsh )
NOOOOO, I DON'T KNOW HOW TF I LOST THE TAYLOR SWIFT!!!! *sobs*
Brandon da noob 2.0 ( New and Improved Version ) ( From The Vault ): What the hell is happening?! How the hell did FREAKIN ICONIC SINGERS poof out of no where?! And w h y!! i ThOUGHT tHiS wAs rOmAnCe cLaSs?!
Brendon: Who the hell are you?! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY BRENDONNNN
Brandon da nood 2.0 ( New and improved Version ) ( From The Vault ): I'm your secluded twin brother... BUT BETTER!!! :D
OKAY, EVERYONE SHUT UP, I HAVEN"T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE 2ND VERSE- uhhh, I mean, 2nd part of this LeSsOn *stacks up piles of Carebear coloring sheets*
Yeah so *re-grabs tissues* I CONSOLED HIM WHEN HE CRIED OVER HIS GIRLFRIEND'S NEW GUY, LIK E WHO DOES DATTT?
*Brendon and Brandon both raise their hands*
My God, how could I be so STOOPID?! *smearing mascara rains down upon us all, rarity style* THIS IS THE WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.
Geez... I'm getting bored of my own lecture, now that's a reason to cry like Rarity.
Yeah, I'mma spped dis up. nOW I'M planning out my wEdding with some guy I'm NEVER marrying *tosses tissue box*
Everyone: *gasps* rEaLLy?
HA, SIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. As if!! fOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoLeD yA!!
Richard: *comes back from his banana boat trip* sO let me get this NOt straight... None of thsi was reaL???!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Honestly I was just listening to love is embarrassing for like the 105th time on Spotify and thought that it would be "funny" to write a silly HN chapter if I took the lyrics VERY seriously. Obviously, I lack lots of funny juice since my last HN book and trying to find/ learn what my new comedic writing style is. I know this was so not funny and I'm sorry :')
STOP IT, WHY IS THIS SONG SO ADDICTING?! 😭 I'VE DEF LISTENED TO LIKE a 100 MORE TIMES SINCE THEN TBH ( Spotify streams stop counting on Oct 31... it's Dec 2 today )
Sign the petition for me to be funny again 🙏 Yeah *sighs* I know that's not how this works 🥹 OHMYGOSH LOOK IT'S CHARLIE AND SABRINA AGAINNNNN--