"Can we talk?"
I raised my head and frowned at Ethan. "If this is about Lara—"
He raised his hand and shook his head. "It's not about Lara. It's about what was said at Alark's place."
I hesitated and then gave him a nod. Ethan stepped into the study and firmly closed the door behind him. He walked over to the window and stared out of it. "How's Lara?"
"Sleeping."
"That's good."
I pushed the notebook aside and leaned back in the chair. My eyes trailed over Ethan as I waited for him to start speaking. He was dressed in his usual pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I was surprised that he was wearing so much clothing.
"You said that it's your fault that I'm not able to shift," I said when he continued to stay silent.
I heard him swallow loudly before he turned. Ethan walked over to the chair on the other side of the desk and sat down. He leaned back and looked me right in the eyes. I tried to make out the emotion that I saw there, but failed.
"Mom asked me to watch you but I didn't want to. My friends and I were planning on going up to the lake. I was mad that I had to cancel because we'd been planning it for weeks. In the end I was forced to stay and watch you but I waited for them to leave and then snuck out." He glanced away from me. "I figured that I'd go and have some fun and then get back home before they get back."
"What does this have to do with me?"
His eyes darted back to mine. "Everything." Ethan licked his lips. "They don't want me to tell you this but you need to know."
"Why don't they want me to know?" I questioned. "Isn't it my right to know why I'm not like you? Why I don't have the genres which you have?"
"You have them," he paused, "or you had them before. I snuck out and you followed me. I caught you and I got mad. I said some mean things to you and you ran off."
"What things?"
"Worse than what I had said to you the night I caught you and Avery." His eyes dropped to the table. "When you didn't return after, I got worried. I went searching for you. You were eating pink berries."
I frowned at him. "Pink berries?"
Ethan nodded. "It's a plant that looks like edible berries. It's very poisonous to shifters. My friends and I rushed you to the hospital but it was already too late. The poison was already in your bloodstream. They managed to stop it from. . .destroying your vital organs and other stuff but it had already killed your shifter genres."
I stared at him for a few more seconds before I threw my head back and laughed. "Bullshit," I said when I calmed down. "Why are you making up some shit story? There's no way that a poisonous berry will kill my shifter genres. I was born unable to shift."
"You weren't," he quickly denied. "You could shift but after you ate the berries, you couldn't anymore."
"Why are you lying, Ethan?"
"Why do you think I'm lying? I'm telling the truth!"
I leaned forward and linked my fingers together on the desktop. "At Alark's place you told me that they forced you to take me with you and your friends."
Ethan paled. He jumped up and started pacing. Low growls fell from his lips as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. My confusion intensified as I tried to make sense of what was happening. He was lying to me, but why?
I stood and walked around the table to the front and leaned back against it with my arms crossed over my chest. "Why are you making up lies?"
He stopped and turned to face me. "Because I need for you to hate me."
"Why?" I questioned with a frown.
"It makes it easier to walk away. To stay away."
I stared at him but he avoided my gaze. Straightening, I stepped in front of him and gripped his shoulders to stop his pacing. Like he had done on so many occasions when we were younger, I gripped the back of his neck and pulled him closer to press my forehead against his.
Ethan was nearly panting. I was scared that he might actually start having a panic attack. He sucked in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes closed. When he opened them again, they were brimming with tears.
"I need her, Silas. I need to hold her and talk to her. Even being near her makes everything better. I want her and I know I can't have her. She doesn't want me anyway."
I gave him a small smile. "She wants you. She wants you as much as you want her."
Ethan pulled away and shook his head. I wished that I could read his mind just to figure out what he was thinking. Ethan was always good at hiding his emotions and it seemed like the years that had passed only made him better at it.
"She wanted me to leave," he pointed out.
I sighed and walked over to the couch. Sinking down on it, I dropped my head back and stared up at the ceiling. A few minutes passed before he took a seat on the one opposite me. A loud sigh fell from his lips as he ran a hand down his face.
"Lara is scared," I told him softly. "She called me and told me that you had phone sex." His eyes snapped up to mine and colour flooded his cheeks. "Our morals are different from humans. I've learned that while living amongst them."
"I thought you were one."
"What? Human? We all are human, Ethan."
"No we're not." He sat forward with his elbows on his knees. "We were created in laboratories because humans wanted weapons. We were treated like fucking animals. It is all we'll ever be to them." He flashed sharp teeth. "We are better than humans."
I gave him a nod as I relaxed. "We are."
His brows dipped into a frown. My smile widened but it quickly faded as reality intruded on us. We had things that needed to be discussed. There was no time to talk about morals.
"Lara and I are heading back," I said to break the sudden tense silence that hung between us. "I have a plane booked for tonight."
"Are you sure that it's a good idea?"
"She wants to leave and I know when I'm not welcome in my own home."
"Silas—"
I held up a hand to silence him. "Don't. Lara was meant for both of us Ethan. She needs us both and I won't force her to choose. You made your decision and she thinks that she had made hers. I need to know that you'll be there for her if she needs you."
"You know I will."
"No matter what?"
He nodded. "Always."
I stared at him for a few more seconds to make sure that he meant it before I turned away from him. There were a lot of things I wanted to tell him, but it wasn't the right time. Anyone could walk in on us and the last thing I wanted was for everyone to know what we were talking about. But there was one thing I needed to tell him immediately—something both Ethan and Lara needed to know.
I took a seat on the coffee table in front of him and waited for him to glance back up at me. "Lara can't get pregnant again."
He frowned. "The doctor said that she could."
"I asked him not to tell anyone the truth. She's been through a lot and the last thing she needed to know is the fact that she won't be able to get pregnant again."
"Fuck." Ethan sucked in a shaky breath. "It's my fault isn't it?"
I was already shaking my head before he finished his sentence. "In order for her to fall pregnant again and have a healthy baby, she needs both of us. Not just me Ethan. Do you understand?"
He blinked at me. I saw pain flash through his eyes as the implication of his actions finally settled in. He had chosen Avery and therefore he had unknowingly rejected Lara as his true mate. There was no turning back now.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
I shrugged and got up. "Just make sure nobody finds out about this. I don't want Lara to find out about this. It's also the reason we're leaving. The longer we stay here the more Lara is losing a part of herself." I paused. "We don't belong here Ethan, do you understand?"
"You do," he rasped. "You're part of this family."
"It doesn't feel like it." I gave him a sad smile. "It never felt like I belonged here."
He swallowed loudly and opened his mouth but never got to say whatever he wanted too. We both froze when the door opened and Avery stepped inside. She froze when she realized that she wasn't alone and then frowned.
"What are you doing in here?" she asked.
With one last glance at Ethan, I leaned across the table to grab my notebook. I paused next to him and slowly blew out a breath. Avery's presence was a reminder that things would never be as it should've been. We all had to make choices and Ethan had made his based on what I had done.
"I'll fix it," I told him softly before I exit the room.
No matter what. No matter how much it hurt and how badly I wanted her all to myself, Lara needed Ethan as much as a part of me needed him. She was ours and I was going to try my best to fix the mess I had unknowingly made when I killed that boy.