Khushi
I stood, leaning against the main door, and stared ahead while I unconsciously scratched the wound on my ring finger as a cold breeze pushed its way through my hair and dupatta.
I wish I could wake up from this nightmare. I wish all this was nothing but a dream, and I was still in Lucknow in Babu Ji's house, and I had never met Shyam Ji, Arnav Ji, or... anyone. And we all would have stayed happy. Jiji and I would have enrolled in a college. Babu Ji would have been perfectly fine. Amma and Bua Ji would have been at peace... Hai, Devi Maiya, where did we get wrong? What did we do that you had to punish us like that?... All I ever wanted was for my family to be happy and safe. But here we stand today... Angry, upset, insulted, heartbroken—and harassed. Yet they blame us. They think only we are wrong... And we are, as a matter of fact, but is it that big of a crime to hide the truth to save someone's happiness? I think it is, since we are getting back what we did. Since everyone of us is being punished for our crimes.
I sighed quietly through my mouth as I wrapped my hands around me and slowly rubbed my upper arm.
Devi Maiya will fix everything. She will forgive us. I know she will. Sh...
"Khushi Ji!" I looked over my shoulder by only twisting my upper body and found Nanhe Ji dashing downstairs with a big bag in hand, then he turned on his right to the hallway leading back.
"I'm here!" I called, raising my voice a little.
He swiftly turned and made a face when he saw me before walking up to the open door and placing the bag on the floor with a thud.
"Khushi Ji, I searched the whole house, you know. But I still couldn't find you! Where were you?" Nanhe Ji inquired as he placed both his fists on his hips while his eyebrows knitted in the center as he waited for my answer.
"Arre, I was here the whole time." I turned to him completely, then leaned my back on the door and crossed my arms over my chest. "But why were you looking for me?"
"Because I couldn't find you." He answered like it was obvious as his brows rose.
I pressed my lips at his answer and stared at him for a second before explaining, "Arre, Nanhe Ji, I meant why were you looking for me in the first place? Did you need something?"
His face turned into a look of realization as he dropped his hands from his hips and reached for his earlobe before saying, "Sorry, sorry, Khushi." I smiled in return and was about to wave him off with a hand when he suddenly dropped on his knees, my eyes widening before I almost jumped to take a step back but soon found that I had no room behind because I was already against the door.
"Nanhe Ji!" I half-screamed in shock.
He was doing something in his bag before he heard me, then dropped it loudly before jumping up on his feet and startlingly looking around the ground.
"What is it, Khushi Ji? What is it?" He continued to look around himself, then finally looked at me with wide eyes and a terrified look on his face.
"What were you doing?" I yelled loudly with wide eyes as I pointed at the place he was formerly kneeling.
"Arre, I was just reaching for my bag." He replied, copying my tone while panicking.
I stared at him with my mouth open for some time before I relaxed a bit, swallowed deeply, and rubbed my fingers on my forehead as I wet my lips.
"Oh, I thought—" I whispered quietly as I breathed a little heavily and slowly shook my head. What was I thinking?
"Was it a r-r-rat or... c-co-ckroach?" He cut in as he again looked down at the floor around him cautiously.
"Huh..?" I looked at him confused and dropped my hand on my side as I felt my brows tugging.
But he continued to say gibberish while stammering. "I heard there's a lot of insects in the countryside. And they can.."
I huffed out a laugh before patting his shoulder to make him stop and look at me.
"Nanhe Ji, calm down! It's nothing. There's no insect." I tried to assure him while I shook my head with a smile.
"Then why did you shout?" He asked loudly as he placed a hand over his heart. "I almost had a heart attack, you know. I almost died, Khushi Ji."
I opened my mouth to answer, but suddenly Jiji came and stopped near me and Nanhe Ji, who still had his hand over his heart.
"What happened?" She looked curiously between us, but her eyes were red and puffy.
I mentally sighed before shaking my head, but Nanhe Ji said, "Good, you are also here, Payal bha—" He suddenly pressed his lips together and glanced at us with wide eyes before continuing again. "I.. I have something for the sisters. Wait!" He was about to drop to his knees but he stopped halfway through, stood up again and gave me a look while pointing a finger at me. "No shouting, Khushi Ji. Okay, please. I have a really weak heart."
I bit the side of my cheek as I smiled and nodded. When he again dropped on his knees, I briefly glanced at Jiji and looped my hand through her arm as we waited before again turning to Nanhe Ji.
He fiddled with his things for some time before standing up and giving us something packed with old newspapers. I furrowed my brows as I shared a look with Jiji while holding the things cautiously between my fingers, then looked up at the brightly smiling Nanhe Ji with questioning eyes.
"What is this, Nanhe Ji?" Jiji asked softly.
"You'll know!" He encouraged while beaming ear to ear. "Open it!"
I narrowed my eyes before pointing my finger at him and warning, "I swear on Devi Maiya, Nanhe Ji, if you are trying to get back on me for some prack I did on you in the past, I'll..."
"Arre, no, no, Khushi Ji," His eyes widened while he waved both his hand and head in a no. "It's a gift for you two. I bought it from the market yesterday before coming here." He glanced at both of us. "Open."
I stared at him for another second before glancing at Jiji. When she nodded, I gave Nanhe Ji another look before turning my attention to the thing he bought.
If he's lying, he's dead. I'll literally kill him if anything jumps out at me. Hai, Devi Maiya, please save me.
I tore open the packaging and started at the thing with slightly parted lips before looking at Jiji, who also had the same reaction on her face as she looked up at Nanhe Ji, and I also followed suit.
"So?—Do you like it?" He asked while smiling coyly as he rubbed his palms together in anticipation.
I again looked down at the set of bangles and bit my lips as I felt my eyes burning. I tried to blink the tears away as I briefly looked up at Nanhe Ji before turning to Jiji to see what she got.
"Payal from Payal bha—Ji and bangles for Khushi Ji." He said this before pointing at the bangles on my hands. "This time it will be a perfect fit, Khushi Ji. I guarantee!"
I smiled as I sniffed through my nose, and Jiji exclaimed, "Thank you, Nanhe Ji! I don't know how to thank you for this. It's really beautiful! Thank you."
"Dosti mein no sorry, no thank you. Remember?" He wiggled his brows with a big smile.
I rewrapped the bangles again before asking and looking up at him. "Which laddo do you want? Beshan or Bundi?"
His eyes lit up as he suggested his answer, "Half and half?"
Jiji laughed and thanked him again before going to the kitchen.
"Why did you suddenly give us gifts?" I arced a brow in question as I leaned on the door frame by the shoulder and looked at him as I cocked my head to the side.
He stared at me for a long second before asking, "Do you have feelings for Nanav?"
I straightened up as I felt my face harden, and I looked outside at the front gate.
"That's irrelevant."
"And your question is nonsense." From the corner of my eye, I saw him standing next to me as he also looked ahead. "Do you really think I have some motives for gifting you?"
"No." I answered without any hesitation because I knew he didn't, and soon I felt bad for questioning his sincerity. So, I answered his other question.
"I do. But it will be fine with time."
I felt his eyes on me, but I didn't turn because I didn't know what I'd see in his eyes or how I'd feel if he didn't understand me. Because I really, badly wanted him to understand me and not treat me like I'm ruined because of Shyam Ji, to k..
He awkwardly wrapped a hand around my shoulder and gently patted while maintaining a good distance, then quickly let go of me before some footsteps sounded behind us.
I sniffed and looked down at the paper-wrapped bangles before smiling a little. At least, amidst all, I got a friend who doesn't judge, but supports and understands.
I turned to Nanhe Ji and found him looking behind me. Curiously, I also followed his gaze, and my smile dipped from my face as I saw Arnav Ji standing at the foot of the staircase on my left, with his hands in his pockets as he stared at us with his usual unreadable look on his face.
"I'll check on Payal Bhabhi—I mean Ji—Payal Ji." Nanhe Ji announced, breaking the silence, and I glared at him with wide eyes and tried to warn him not to leave me alone with Arnav Ji. But he just shrugged his shoulders slowly with the corners of his slightly pouted lips dipping down, then left in a hurry while taking his bag. I take my words back. He's not my friend. He'll never be my friend. Gaddar.
I fisted the side of my dupatta before looking up at him. He held my eyes for a moment, then, without breaking the eye-contact, he walked up to me and halted where Nanhe Ji formerly stood. Then he slowly looked down, where I held the bangles in my right hand, and I followed his gaze, then again looked at him.
"NK doesn't know your size. You'll get hurt again when you try to wear those." He remarked before looking up at me in the eyes.
I wet my lips before replying, "He does now."
He's jaws hardened, but his face remained quiet as he held my eyes before saying, "I meant what I said that night." My heartbeat quickened.
"So did I."
He nodded tightly before turning his head to look outside for a few seconds, then again looking at me. And I noticed that now he had a soft yet sad look in his eyes. Maybe h..
"I never intended to force or threaten you—that night. In fact, I was going to confess to you." His Adam apple wobbled as he paused briefly. "But after I saw you and Shyam on the terrace, I just—I had to protect Di at all costs. She's pregnant. I.. couldn't think of anything else."
He had desperation in his voice, and I almost felt bad for him, but then realization hit me. He had seen Shyam Ji and me together that night. I felt my brows tugging in the middle as I slowly looked up at him and quietly asked, "If you had seen us together and knew everything, then why did you ask me to marry you?"
"Because... I heard you asking him to divorce Di." He answered. That's all you heard?
I stared up at him with slightly parted lips as I asked, "You didn't even know what the matter was. Yet, you... you did all those things." And didn't think how I'll feel about being in the same house as him.
He stood quietly with his jaws clenched before looking down at the ground.
I stared at him with shock as I slowly shook my head and asked, as my voice broke, "Why did you want to marry me then?"
"Because I... wanted you. Because..." He looked up at me with a hard look in his eyes, then he took a small step forward, and I looked down while stepping backwards before I hit the door. "Because... I couldn't fathom the thought of you being his... when you're mine."
My breath got caught as soon as he finished. I looked up at him with wide eyes and parted lips, and I found him already staring down at me with an intensely dark gaze.
"Because I.. love you." He added as he took another step closer while looking down into my eyes. And I felt shivers of fear running down my body as I tried to breathe evenly. No—Because you didn't want to lose to Shyam Ji.
I felt blank—completely blank. Maybe because of his confession or... closeness. But one thing was clear: My answer didn't matter to him.
I gripped the side of the door and took in a shuddering breath before I looked up in his eyes and said, "No." I shook my head. "You wanted to marry me... because you wanted to take revenge. You wanted me to feel the pain that Anjali Ji felt after Shyam Ji confessed. You wanted to marry me because you wanted to prove something to Shyam Ji. And when your work was done, you would've left me after six months so that I could be punished." My throat tightened as I paused for a second before whispering, with a shaky and teary voice, "Right?"
He stood quietly for almost so long that I thought he wouldn't answer, as his face and eyes gave nothing away before he answered, "But, amidst all, I loved you."
A sigh broke through me as I stared at him, and my eyes started to water. He says he loves me, yet he didn't even try to deny it. I took a big breath before looking down and slowly raising my hands to his chest before pushing him away.
"Since you have the habit of not taking a no from an answer, like Shyam Ji, I'll repeat it again." I looked up at him while gritting my teeth as I heard distant murmuring voices. "I.Don't.Want to see you ever again."
"You cannot lie to me, Khushi." Arnav Ji said as I saw hurt in his eyes as his voice broke a little but soon his voice hardened. "But if that can help you sleep at night—then be it." And he walked out with one last look.
I sighed through my mouth and gripped the side of the door for balance, then straightened up as I found everyone coming towards the door.
It was almost an hour later when the whole Raizada family finally left while Jiji and I sat in the back on the newly added swing chair.
"I feel good now!" Jiji said as she smiled brightly and turned to look at me.
I returned the smile before nodding and saying, "Then let's start college."
She cheerfully nodded as she leaned back against the backrest, wrapped her arms around her knees, and stared at the night sky, genuinely smiling.
I also looked up at the sky full of stars after taking a jalebi from the container that sat between us on the swing chair. I did the right thing, didn't I, Maa—Baba?"
The reason behind the photos:
Because I, love jewelleries, and we, readers, love to see the gifts since there is going to be a leap of 7 years in the next chapter.