Note: this is a bit long. Over 5k words which is the longest thing I've ever written. I wanted something different and while I still think the Grammy's did BTS dirty, I wanted my girl to have some love. I don't expect everyone to agree to it but it is fanfic after all.
When Grace had created her first solo album that wasn't a mixtape, she had no plans to submit anything to the Grammys. The history between the Grammy's and BTS had left a bad taste in her mouth - they were used as eye candy for performances, to bring in the audience and leave them till the last minute, even with five nominations and no wins. So when she was asked if she wanted to put the 'In My Head' album in for any categories, she shut the idea down.
Really, she should have realised that Bang PD would have just done it anyway.
The first she heard about it was when Chaelin, CL from 2NE1, had sent her a text of congratulations followed by IU. Then her parents called her to say congratulations and there was a flurry of messages in the BTS group chat.
Of course, she thought they were all off their heads because there was no way in hell that she was nominated for a Grammy, let alone three. But when she went on the website, sure enough, under her name were the following categories:
7 Rings - Record of the Year
In My Head - Album of the Year
7 Rings - Best Pop Solo Performance.
It left her feeling very conflicted.
While she was proud of herself and the team behind the song as well as the album, she remembered the disappointment on the rest of the boy's faces when they received no nominations for their solo music and the bigger disappointment when they didn't win as a group, sitting there in the audience with cameras in their faces and once again, no win.
She didn't want the award for the very reason that she didn't want to go all the way out there, to dress up, to sit there and then nothing. Feeling nothing but pure disappointment.
So, she kept silent and kept on preparing herself for the tour that would be happening in a few months after the November nomination announcement. Everyone was excited, including the boys, yet she felt absolutely blank about the whole thing. In her head, it was just another ploy to get the BTS name attached to the Grammys.
A week later, after the nominations were released, she got called into a meeting with everyone including Bang PD, their choreographing team, the CEO and PR and some others that she didn't know. Grace sat down next to Sejin, wondering why most of the important people in Big Hit had been called to the table.
"Okay as everyone is aware, Hea has been nominated for three Grammy awards. They've been in touch and asked if Hea would be interested in either opening up the Grammy's with a song or if there would be a medley performance at some point," the CEO explained. "We've already got an idea but wanted to hear what everyone's thoughts were before we went forward and if Hea wanted to go through with this as well."
Grace glanced towards Sejin out of the corner of her eye. He knew her better than most and he knew the thoughts of the boys as well. They were proud of her and this would be a big thing for not only her, but for the boys, Big Hit and Korea as a whole. If she won, she would be the first K-Pop Korean and the first Korean female. If she didn't win, she would still be highly regarded because of the nomination.
Though she knew full well that some antis would see this as an opportunity to bash and slander.
Sejin knew her thoughts about the Grammy's and he returned her look, giving her a slight nod. If he thought she should go, then off she went.
"I want to get the boy's opinion first," Grace started. "But if everyone thinks I should go and this is going to be a good thing, rather than a disappointment, then I'll go. And I suppose, depending on the time limit, it's going to be one song rather than a medley?"
The CEO nodded, nodding towards Bang PD. "We're thinking of at least 3 or 4, depending on the time slot. Plus this could be a good test for the tour as well if we use songs from the Dangerous Woman mix tape and then you've got some other songs as well you want to release? If not, then we would just stick to 7 Rings."
"Not until January but the Grammy's are in February, so that would tie in with that mixtape's release," Grace agreed.
"Okay, well let's see what we can put together and I will check what time limit we have so we can work towards that. We don't want to put more pressure on the team for dancing so we'll work with you on that and maybe work with InTheLab in LA," the CEO glanced towards the team of choreographers who nodded in agreement. "And once we have confirmation on everything, we can discuss outfits and the like. Would you be going with Seokjin-ssi?"
That made Grace pause. He was out of military service now and was free to take, even with his own schedule and music going on. Hobi was free as well. So she could take the two free members of BTS but there was also the option of her parents as well? It would be an honour for them, especially her father.
"I will double check but I think I would want to take my father. I know he's not one for the public eye but if I won, I'd want him to see that in person rather than on TV. If I don't win, well it's an experience."
With plans in motion, Grace left the meeting still feeling conflicted.
'GRAMMY's want me to perform. What do you think?' she fired off a message to the group chat, as she turned down the hallway and headed to Hobi's studio.
There would be no response from four of them until that evening so she wasn't expecting anything. Of course, her boyfriend was the first one to reply.
'Do it and kick their ass.'
Yoongi then replied: 'Agreed. Our turn will come but I want you to win without us.'
Grace sighed and slipped into Hobi's studio, finding him already mixing a mock up of her songs.
"I haven't actually agreed yet," Grace laughed as she took a seat on the couch.
"I know you feel conflicted," Hobi said as he turned down the volume on the speaker as Dangerous Woman played in the background with a bit more bass to it, spinning his chair around to face Grace. "I feel conflicted for you. I would be proud as a Korean if you won because you'd be the first one to win. It would be like watching Jungkookie at the World Cup - he's still BTS but it's a major thing. Like Yoongi-hyung's tour, that was for him but he was still BTS."
"I know but the Grammys have fucked us around," Grace frowned. "Nominate us, tease the audience about us or our performance or whether we've won and leave it till the last minute and then not give it to us though they've been hinting we're going to win. They've used us for views and we've had nothing in return."
Hobi sighed and nodded, reaching out to pat Grace's knee. "Yes, that's true. But why not go and show them what BTS' female member can do? I know you don't care about the awards and the nominations you've received for your hard work but go and do this one. Go and show them what they're missing."
The four other members sent similar messages, though Namjoon added: 'Make me proud as a leader and a brother. Whether you win or not, the fact you've been nominated for three awards and you've been asked to perform is amazing. So go and do it.'
Seokjin didn't exactly decline the invitation to go but rather wanted the focus to be on her. With that, she somehow managed to get her parents to agree to go though her father was uncomfortable with the idea.
"Do we have to go on the red carpet?" he asked over dinner the following night.
"No. You can be taken straight to the seats inside, bypassing all the photos and the faff. There will be cameras and they might film your reactions but other than that, no you don't have to do the whole thing," Grace confirmed as she took her plate of homemade spaghetti bolognese that her mother made.
Her father was silent as he dipped the garlic bread into the sauce. Grace could see the cogs turning in his head just as they had in hers when she heard the news. It would bring great honour to the family name yet did he want to risk his anonymity? His wife, Grace's mother, was already a fan favourite having been seen in various Big Hit videos.
"It would be my honour then to go."
So began the practice for the Grammy's alongside final dance practice for the tour.
The team had agreed on one song, the one with the nomination, rather than a medley since she had only been given five minutes to perform as the first performance of the night. Her categories would then follow afterwards. Alexander McQueen's fashion team had sent a blazer dress in her size for her to perform in though the stylist team at Big Hit had to add some shorts so the dress didn't show everything when she bent over.
She also had a dress from Elie Saab, the designer reaching out with the perfect dress he said would be fitting for her first solo project.
Her parents had flown out a week beforehand to enjoy America as tourists and to avoid the chaos at Incheon which had predicted record high numbers of press and fans for Grace's flight out. And the prediction had been correct.
She could hear the noise from the car as her managers sorted out passports and boarding passes, bodyguards in position to form the Queen's Guard to battle through the chaos that was awaiting them inside.
"You ready?" Sejin asked, handing over a mask and sunglasses.
"Never," Grace sighed with a slight smile as she slipped the sunglasses on and adjusted the mask to cover her mouth.
The moment she stepped out, the noise grew even louder. She paused before the doors, letting the press outside get the photos they needed before entering the airport, the bodyguards tight around her as they moved through the sounds of cheers, screams and the sound of camera flashes going off. She was more than thankful for the sunglasses that protected her eyes against the blindness of lights.
It was difficult. They were trying to rush against the barriers put up in place for everyone's protection and out of the corner of her eye, she could see a few cameras get knocked down for being too close and some people getting shoved away as they had escaped over or underneath the barrier.
But she kept pushing on, Sejin's hand tight on her shoulder as they finally got out of the crowd and to the lounge where they could wait for their flight to be called. Security was outside the doors and inside the doors, only letting those in who had passes or were part of the Big Hit team.
"It gets worse every time," a bodyguard muttered as they accepted the passports and boarding passes, handing them over to the managers.
"They need tighter controls at the airport," another agreed.
For Grace, she just wanted to get to Los Angeles and get to the hotel, get the awards over with (which would be held at the same stadium she had rented out for her own tour) and come home. She was thankful her parents would be joining her but she kept waiting for the phone call to say there had been an honest mistake and could they cancel.
The call never came.
Not while they were getting on the plane, not while they were in the air, not while they got to LAX and not while they got to the hotel. If anything, her appearance in California had heightened the news around the Grammys.
"We have reports that Grace Chu, the female member of BTS, just landed in Los Angeles over an hour ago and was taken straight to the hotel. Her performance is one of the most highly anticipated performances of the night, as this will be her first solo performance at the Grammys without the rest of BTS," a reporter said with the Hollywood sign in the backdrop as a 'live' report. "Big Hit has been quiet in terms of the performance, outfits and whether anyone else from BTS will be attending given that five members are still in their military service."
Sejin clicked over the channel to something else as Grace opened up her suitcase in the bedroom, smoothing out her clothes before putting them in the wardrobe. Her designer clothes for the carpet and performance had been put in her room before her arrival.
"Every news channel is about the Grammys," Sejin sighed as he finally got to the local news that wasn't reporting about the upcoming award show that was two days away.
"It's the main event of any singer's career," Grace said as she poked her head around the doorway. "I suppose it's like their version of a Daesang."
"At least BTS are awarded properly for a Daesang."
"Only sometimes," Grace called out.
The next day the team planned a schedule to head to the Crypto.com stadium which felt surreal as she would be on the stage in only a month's time. She would start her American leg of the tour here for two nights then fly to Chicago and to see it laid out for the Grammys was a bit odd. She had seen the renderings and designs for her stage at the stadium so to see large tables with black tablecloths and fancy flower vases, gold chairs and screens being set up was just...strange.
It would seat over 20,000 just for her.
They did a full rehearsal of her song and then another one to tidy up some moves, and to allow the TV camera to do its blocking. The usual Bangtan Bomb camera followed the team around from the hotel to the stadium, to the changing room and out again.
When the day came, Grace stared up at the ceiling from her bed.
While she wasn't overly bothered about the whole thing, that didn't stop the nerves from settling in. She pressed a hand to her stomach to stop the slight wave of nausea and she let out a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting out another breath. She wasn't sure if she was nervous because of the performance, the awards herself or the fact this was going to be a big step in her solo journey. Maybe it was pure nerves because this was something completely out of her hands and that she couldn't control.
She let out a slight huff of annoyance and rolled out of bed, pausing to open the blinds to see L.A in its morning glory. It was already busy and Grace flicked on the TV to see what the latest reports were - the red carpet was down, reporters were already in position and celebrities were already Instagramming their breakfasts'.
"Right," Grace paused and rubbed her face. "Shower, skin routine, hair routine and food. And then the Grammys."
The hot water soothed out any tight muscles from stress and she washed her wavy blonde hair (recently dyed for her tour), combing through the oil she used to keep it looking fresh. Face and body cream applied, she wrapped her robe around her body and made her way out of her room.
Her parents were already there, sitting on the couch in front of the TV as they ate breakfast. They looked completely chill even with the day ahead.
"Good morning," her mother greeted as she glanced over from the news report. "There's buffet breakfast in the dining area if you're feeling up to it?"
Her father placed his half-finished plate down on the coffee table and stood, giving his daughter's shoulder a quick squeeze. "Fruit and tea would be best to start with. I bet you're feeling a little nervous?"
Grace smiled, nodding as she leaned on her Dad for a moment. "You always know and fruit and tea would be amazing, thank you."
She joined her mother on the couch and tucked up against her side, stealing a piece of toast that she was munching on when her Dad came back with a bowl of fruit containing: grapes, pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, watermelon and honeydew melon and her usual cup of tea, already with her two sugars and milk.
The Chu family quietly watched TV as they ate their breakfast, every now and then mentioning something in regards to what was happening on the screen. There were no words to be said between the three of them while time ticked away and a knock on the door came from Sejin, poking his head around the doorway.
He smiled slightly, bowing to her parents and then turned his attention to Grace.
"The stylists and makeup team are here to get you ready. Also, you have a surprise visitor."
Eyebrows raised, Grace finished off her tea and went to put the dishes along with the others in the dining room but her father beat her to it and shooed her away. "Go, I'll handle this."
While some thought of her father as cool, hard to read and not very affectionate - he was very much like Yoongi. Tsundere - cool on the outside, fuzzy on the inside. Very much a strict Korean father when in public and with strangers, but an absolute chaotic fool when around other family, friends and the boys.
Slightly apprehensive as to what could be waiting for her, there was instant relief when the doors opened to the other bedroom of the suit and Bang PD stood there with the Big Hit Team. She could see it on his face: as if he was going to miss this and let her do it on her own.
"Thank god," she muttered as she wandered over and instantly met his hug with one of her own. He had spearheaded her solo career since Dangerous Woman and it only felt right to have him with her, even if he wasn't going to be on the red carpet. At least he would be with her and her parents during the actual award ceremony.
"You know I couldn't miss this," he grinned then gave her a pat on the head. "Go on, go and get ready. I'll go and see your parents and give them a bit of a run down."
The make up team kept the glam to a minimum but it still took over two hours to do. Her brown eyes were highlighted with bronze eyeshadow, the liner black but thin and her natural eyelashes fluffed out. While she sat there, letting them do her contour and styling her hair into a half-up/half down ponytail ; she started her vocal warmup by singing Don't Blame Me, using the mix they would be producing for the tour.
They carefully slipped the Elie Saab designer dress over her figure, slipping on the pair of Louboutins that had been gifted to her by the designer. A pair of earrings from the boys and a bracelet from Seokjin and she was set to go.
Big Hit took a few photos of her before the event, one with Bang PD, one with Sejin, the other with her parents and then a couple of her on her own. They wouldn't be uploaded until she was just about to walk onto the red carpet though the photo with her parents had been sent to the boys.
Various messages came in as they had been given leave by the military for this occasion, heading to Seokjin's apartment for a private viewing party with a few close friends and plenty of alcohol. She didn't read any of the messages, too nervous and unsettled to do anything other than to slip her hand into her father's.
Conversations in the car went over her head and she paid little attention, only nodding here and there as her parents, Sejin and Bang PD talked about how the evening would go, where they would be sitting, and what celebrities would be attending. The crowd lining the streets was noisy and huge, though completely used to seeing the many celebrities getting out of their cars.
Her car stopped and her parents got out first with Bang PD, a member of staff leading them to the entrance straight away to avoid any press or attention though Grace could see a couple of celebrities say hello to her boss.
"You ready?" Sejin asked, pausing at the door.
Letting out a deep breath, she counted briefly to five then got out.
The noise was instant. Reporters paused in their sentence, wondering what was going on and turning to see who had arrived to cause the disturbance. Even a few celebrities paused and turned.
"Everybody, Grace Chu from BTS has arrived," Liam McEwan turned to the camera with an excited look on his face. "The queen is here."
There were so many people clambering for her attention as she posed for photos, smiling at the hundreds of cameras as they yelled her name. The beads and embroidery sparkled on her dress, her fingers fiddling with the belt then the dip which to her was a bit dangerously low but the reporters obviously loved.
The PR lady moved her along towards an excited looking Liam, who Grace grinned at and opened up her arms. "Liam! It's been too long since we've seen you. How are you?" Fans would later comment on how typical it was of Grace and BTS to remember reporters who had been kind to them.
The two exchanged a hug, a few questions about the boys, her performance and how he couldn't wait to see it. Grace left him to carry on down the carpet with him gushing over how lovely she was, which made seven men raise their glasses in cheers.
"Seee! Told you she could do it," Yoongi said as he raised his glass of whiskey, not at all a bit tipsy as Jungkook reached over and filled it up for him.
"She hasn't even gotten inside yet hyung," Jimin laughed, already opening another bottle of champagne as if Grace had already won her three awards and had been crowned Queen of Korea.
Seokjin and Namjoon as well as Hobi, the only three who had been determined not to drink until the end, slowly sipped on their iced coffee and laughed as they watched an excited maknae open Taehyung's bottle of wine for him.
"But she's won everyone over! I mean, that dress is amazing on her," Taehyung said as he stood, pushing over Jimin who spilled himself into Hobi's lap. Obviously, a career in the military had done nothing to dampen their enthusiasm.
Taehyung stood next to the large TV screen, pointing at various parts of her dress. "I mean, it's pretty low. I wonder who signed that off but either way, she looks amazing. And look! Cleavage! No one has seen noona with cleavage yet."
Yoongi groaned, covering his eyes. "Don't mention Grace and cleavage in the same sentence. I'm not drunk enough yet."
It took forever to get Grace inside the stadium as she bumped into several celebrities she knew and said hello to a few more, stopping herself from doing the traditional Korean greeting of bowing. She finally sat down next to her father who handed her a glass of water.
She was about to thank her father when Sejin and a member of the Grammy's staff came over, to tell her that they would be coming to get her in half an hour so she could do her performance which would be the first one after the first award.
Hearing that made the nerves return and she gulped down the glass of water, letting out a deep breath. "Don't be nervous Hea, you're born for this and you've got so much experience in performing in front of a large crowd. You've got a bigger crowd than this next month," her father patted her hand then turned to talk to her mother as if it was nothing.
"Thanks Dad," she laughed but took the moment to calm herself, to watch everyone start making their way to their seats and for all the audience to get settled in the stands. So many cameras were pointing at the stage, pointing at the audience, pointing at the celebrities, pointing at an overview of the entire award ceremony.
As promised, she was whisked away to get changed into the performance outfit that had been created by Alexander McQueen's team and adapted by the Big Hit team. The jewellery and the heels remained, as she slipped in her in-ears and took hold of her microphone.
The dancers, made up of the team of her tour dancers, were in their costumes and ready. They looked as nervous as she did and were doing mini-choreographies in the hallway, making sure they hadn't forgotten anything.
"Okay, Grammy's here we go," Grace said when they crowded in a circle behind the award stage itself. "Remember, have fun, don't worry and let's go make history. BANG," she finished and the dancers lifted their hands as they shouted, "TAN!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to 5-time Grammy nominated member of BTS, Grace Chu," the loud announcement came and she could hear the applause and then cheers as the curtain lifted.
On stage was a small orchestra, dressed in dinner suits and black dresses as they played the opening of the Sound of Music's 'Favourite Things.' Though her in-ears were up on the highest, the crowd was still loud. She stood there in the middle, with the lights around her blacked out so no one could see. Her fingers gripped around her microphone then relaxed, as her track came in.
Each light came on to show her standing there, in her blazer dress that was very short but presentable. Grace Chu - solo artist but a member of Bangtan Sonyeondan. By the time she got to the short rap part, the nerves and worries had gone away.
"When you see them racks, they stacked up like my ass yeah," she sang/rapped, turning her body a little to the camera to show her hand grabbing a chunk of her backside to match the lyrics. She then fully turned to the camera, the dancers in formation on either side of her as she continued the verse, not knowing that thousands of miles away in Korea she would be causing a storm.
The song faded out to the cheers and Grace watched as the audience stood, clapping and cheering for her. It took her moment to catch her breath at the view and in gratitude, she did a full bow as the cameras turned away for the next award to be presented.
Out of breath and on a high, she turned back to the dressing rooms to find Bang PD waiting for her. "Amazing! That's how you do it! That's how you show them who's boss," he yelled as he grabbed her, giving her a good squeeze that lifted her off the ground and then back down again. He was still yelling as they walked into the dressing room.
Her parents were just as excited as she returned to her seat, more relaxed now the stressful part was over. "Well done," her father patted her on the back and handed her a new glass of water as her mother passed a napkin to help dab away some sweat she had missed.
The evening was long and the awards took forever.
She didn't win Best Pop Solo Performance so that kind of settled her for the night. If she didn't win any awards, it didn't matter as she killed her performance and made herself proud, made her boss proud, made her parents proud and no doubt made the boys and ARMY proud.
"The nominees for Record of the Year are," that sentence interrupted the conversation she was having and her mother nudged her to pay attention.
"There's no way I've won," Grace muttered but had to smile when the camera came on her when her name had been announced as a nominee, causing the ARMY in the crowd to scream.
She almost missed it.
"And the winner is," There was a giant pause and Grace turned to her mother, about to say 'see told you' when "7 Rings - Grace Chu."
"What?" she said instead, turning towards the stage with a shocked expression as her mother pretty much squealed as she jumped up in the air, followed by Bang PD and then the boys at home.
"Me?" she laughingly asked and she realised what was happening when her song was being played in the background.
"No way," she muttered to herself as she stood, her father helping her as she made her way to the stage where her award was waiting for her. She bowed towards the presenter, to the girl who brought the award on and stood in front of the microphone.
"I nearly missed the winner being announced by not believing I would win this," Grace said as she stared at the award and then at the crowd in front of her. "So many people to thank and I didn't bother to write a list. To Bang PD, to PDogg, to the team at Big Hit & HYBE and to everyone who believed in me when I started this solo career. Thank you for being a big support to me and thank you to BTS, my boys back at home who pushed me to make this song. And finally to ARMY," she paused and glanced down at the award again. "Gamsahabnida," she thanked in Korean.
The crowd was loud as she was ushered off stage and Sejin was there to greet her, tears going down his cheeks. She realised then and only then, she had made history not only for her, for the company, for the boys, but for the future.
"Oh my god," she laughed as she handed over the award to get engraved.
By the time she had sat down with her award, they were announcing the last award for the night. She didn't have time to fully process what was going on when Chris Martin walked on stage with a little Grammy award in his hand.
He gave her a little smile before turning to the camera.
"And the nominees for Album of the Year are."
There were the expected cheers for each nominee, her nomination got the most cheers which caused Chris to laugh. He opened the envelope, paused and looked up. "The winner for Album of the Year," he turned his attention straight to Grace. "In My Head by Grace Chu, produced by Bang PD & PDogg from Big Hit Entertainment. Congratulations."
The noise was deafening as Grace covered her face with her hands, taking a moment to try her hardest not to cry. She felt hands on her shoulders and her wrists, she heard a lot of cheering as she finally looked up and met the proud yet teary eyes of her father. Everything she had ever wanted was to make him proud. And she had done it.
She stood with Bang PD, who wiped his own eyes and she took hold of his hand as the two of them made it towards the stage. Chris Martin bowed towards her which made her smile and bow in return, the two exchanging Korean greetings before they finally hugged.
"Jin will be so proud," he muttered into her ear and stood back to hand over the Grammy towards her, then moved to greet Bang PD.
"Never," Grace started then felt her throat close up as she held back her emotions once again. "Never did I imagine that I would be standing on this stage again, to accept the Grammy for Album of the Year and not have my boys with me. It's bittersweet, I won't lie but this award is not only for me and Bang PD and Big Hit but it's for them and for every single person who worked on this album with me. To my parents, thank you for always supporting and loving me. To my boys, I'll see you soon and to ARMY and my man, I love you both immensely."
She bowed deeply to the crowd as they stood and applauded, letting her have a moment before she handed the award to Bang PD and stepped to the side to let him have his speech.
Grace felt Chris's hand on her shoulder which he gave a squeeze, grounding her in place as they all walked backstage to find her parents and the team there to greet her. It was then and only then, could finally break down in the arms of her parents.
Sejin had the boys on the phone, putting it on speakerphone as they screamed their congratulations across the line. She couldn't get her words out as her father hugged her, holding her tight to his chest as all the worry, the nerves, the anticipation and the disappointment flooded out of her all at once.
She could go back home to Korea, to Jin, as a twice Grammy-awarded artist. And they could all be proud of Korea's Noona.