When Alora lands, she leaps from the ship she had borrowed from Peli and rushes toward her old droid friend with a smile on her face. "R2!" She exclaims as the droid bounces and whirls toward her. "It's good to see you, buddy! Please tell me Luke has been nice to you. Be honest. I will make sure you're being treated right."
R2-D2 beeps happily as the Mandalorian's ship lands behind her. His new ship just angers her, seeing as how she's the one who found it in the first place and handed it off to Peli. The woman had promised to dismantle it, but apparently not. The ship only has space for one traveler anyway. It shouldn't be surprising: Din chose to return to his Creed—a life alone and wandering.
"Of course, you know the droid," he says from behind her as he steps foot on the planet.
Alora's smile melts away, and without turning, she says, "This droid is a war hero. Watch yourself."
"We're looking for Skywalker." She hears the Mandalorian getting closer, but he keeps his distance. R2 beeps and rocks back and forth. "I'm here for the kid. Grogu."
After a few moments of R2 protesting, Alora sighs as she rises to her full height. "I gotta talk to Luke, too. Can you take us?"
If the droid could roll its eyes, that is exactly what R2 would be doing. Instead, it leads them into the thin forest down an almost well-traveled path. They soon come upon the beginnings of a new dwelling where other droids are building a circular stone structure.
Alora admires the dwelling while the Mandalorian takes a few steps forward. "Is this where they are?"
Instead of answering, R2 shuts down. Alora lets out a barely subdued laugh that makes Mando turn to the now dark droid. "Hey, droid!" He says. "Hey! Wake up. Don't shut off. Hey!"
"Still has a sense of humor." Alora pats R2's head.
Obviously, Mando is unamused. He turns to the other droids now placing stones closer to them. "I'm looking for Skywalker?" He asks before he realizes what they are building. "Is that a bench? How long will I be waiting? Is anyone here? Anyone alive? Did you get the wrong planet?"
Alora arches a brow from beneath her cloak. "I have the right place, I assure you. I know Luke. He always talked about training me here." Silence overtakes them. "Obviously, that didn't work out for me. Look, trust me or don't, I don't care anymore, but wherever Luke is, so is Grogu. He'll come talk to you sooner or later, so just wait."
She glances around the bamboo forest and takes a few steps before the Mandalorian calls out, "And where are you going?"
"Away from you." She sends him a malicious grin. "Or maybe I'm just going to explore a bit. Don't worry, it's not like I can leave you stranded here. We both have ships."
Without waiting, she wakes off into the forest. She can feel his gaze on her back until suddenly it's gone and she lets her bravado slip away. It is hard to keep up with him, but she must. Letting him in the first time felt natural; she won't make that mistake again.
It hurt too much to let him go. She does not have it in her to do it again.
So she keeps walking and wandering through the sunlight planet until she happens upon a lake. Though it is warm enough to work up a sweat, Alora pulls her ragged cloak tighter around her as she sits against a tall, full-bodied tree and looks out over the water. The stillness reminds her of how it was when she was only just starting out on her own. She needed a new lightsaber, and so she set out to get one. The only difference is the warmth she can barely feel here was nowhere to be found on Ilum.
Alora finds herself closing her eyes. Meditation has been coming easier to her now. When she was training with Luke during the war, she could barely get her mind to quiet, let alone calm. She was always thinking of battle strategies and what papers needed to be signed. Only in that hut had she found a semblance of quiet in her mind, like she was safe in that small home on Tatooine.
The darkness behind her eyelids shifts slowly like it was waiting for just the right moment to drag her beneath her consciousness. A glowing hue from the sun beyond takes over her vision, but it darkens with each passing second, honing itself into a horizon just beyond her reach before turning upright, like a glowing red sword. She feels her breath hitch, but the image of the red lightsaber stays before her eyes.
"Remember."
The lightsaber turns blue with a pair of scarred yellow eyes peering at her from beyond. Bodies of children surround her for a fraction of a second, echoes of soldiers calling out to their generals fill her ears. She can just make out towering buildings soaring above the clouds before everything goes dark around one flaming red light.
Alora forces her eyes open, forces herself to look around at the calm lake before her and the clear skies above. Her heart races in her chest as she steadies her breathing and digs her fingers into the dirt beneath her.
"I hear you're looking for me."
The familiar feeling of Luke Skywalker rushes over her. Alora glances up at him leaning against the same tree, looking out at the same water. "You must be a terrible teacher if you're here with me and not with the kid," she says as she yanks her hood off her head.
"Technically you were my first student, so I have to make sure you're doing ok." Luke sighs as he sinks to the ground beside her, letting his legs stretch out before him and leaning back on his hands. "Are you? Doing ok?"
"No, not really." Alora nods her head as she clasps her hands together in her lap. "But that is not important right now."
"I think it's very important."
"It's related, but not why I came here."
"Grogu?"
"Related."
"The Mandalorian?"
"Not remotely." She curls her lip up and shakes her head. "He would have found you here with or without me. It was chance we came together."
"Somehow I don't believe you."
Rolling her eyes, she looks him over. "Jedi Master life looks good on you, kid."
He meets her gaze. "Being on the run from your own family doesn't look good on you."
Alora purses her lips. "So, she told you what happened."
"She is my sister."
"And she's the one looking for me."
"You thought she wouldn't?"
"Not after this long. Not really." Taking a deep breath, she says, "Be honest with me. Why?"
She does not need to elaborate for him to understand. They have always been like this, though Alora has never been vulnerable enough to test it. She is a no-bullshit kind of woman. She says what she wants and means what she says. Why leave something up to interpretation? But Luke understands the words she can't say.
"Honestly? I'm not sure why she's still looking for you. Because she loves you? Because you grew up together? Because she wants to talk?"
"Because I am essential to the New Republic," Alora replies. "That's why, Luke. Leia has always been a political animal. Everything she does is for the Rebellion and the New Republic. I made a mess when I left, so let's not kid ourselves into thinking she really just wants me, because we both know if that was the case, she would have found me by now."
Luke goes silent for a moment as they look out at the lake. "She misses you. I know she does. She misses her sister, her friend. I do too."
"I know." She leans her head back against the wood. "Sometimes, I miss that person too, but she's gone. She was so naive, and when that image broke, it hurt. I knew she would never..." She catches herself, but the pain is just a shadow over her heart. "I just wanted to belong as me, and I guess I thought that loving Leia and having her return that love would be enough to overlook how out of place I have always been. But that was stupid and misplaced. It wasn't real love."
"It wasn't stupid, Alora. Love isn't wrong."
"I never said it was wrong. I said it was misplaced. Leia will always love the New Republic more than anyone else, and I can't fault her for that. It's why you can't make her a Jedi either." She nudges his side playfully as if to take away from everything else. "Tell me, how is your latest student?"
"Are you asking for you or for him?"
"Both."
"He's well. He misses you. Both of you."
Alora clicks her tongue. "You're not going to let Mando see him, are you?" Luke just looks down. "I get it. Jedi and attachments are antonyms. He was really looking forward to it, though."
"Ahsoka is helping him. I'm here to help you."
"Oh," Alora pats Luke's arm. "She must have gotten my letter then. Glad the two of you met. You're not going to make me—"
"Talk to her? No. I know better than to make you do anything." He chuckles and rolls his eyes, leaving them once again in silence.
"I feel off," she says quietly, wishing the wind could carry her voice away before having the chance to be heard.
Luke tenses. "Off how?"
"Disconnected. But at the same time, more in tune than I've ever felt with the Force." Scratching the back of her neck, she tucks her legs against her chest, resting her chin on her knees. "I once told you that the Force and this spiritual connection bullshit felt like a bad fix in a broken blanket."
Shaking his head, Luke sighs, "I thought you were too drunk to remember that conversation."
She chooses to ignore that. "It feels different now. More like a scar that still burns every sunrise. I don't know if that's good or bad. I have been able to quiet my mind, but I feel unbalanced when I am somewhere unfamiliar or alone. The only place I have felt a fraction of peace is in this place I'm staying. Tatooine, unfortunately, but it's a nice little hovel carved out of the cliff."
"Near my farm?" Luke frowns.
"Yeah," she shrugs. "Wasn't sure where else to go."
"That's Ben's old place."
"Ben, like Kenobi Ben?" Alora scoffs. "How ironic." After a moment, she glances over at Luke who now looks pale. "Luke, you good?"
"Yeah," he rasps. "It's nothing. Look, if you feel unbalanced, then something happened that you don't want to talk about." The color slowly returns to his cheeks as he focuses, meeting her gaze once more with clarity in his gaze. "You are not a roundabout person. When did this start?"
With a heavy sigh, her shoulders relax as she replies, "Since you took the kid. Since Gideon."
"Which brings me to my next question, and you have to be honest with me. What happened on that ship?"
"I am always honest," she says. "Especially with people I trust. Others just don't get the privilege of speaking to me enough to know that. I honestly can't remember what happened on that ship. I held out for a few days, and then the panic set in. With Vader on the Death Star, I was never panicked, not even when I couldn't stop them from destroying Alderaan. I just felt this need to get out. So, I tried, and I failed, and I saw Yoda for a second."
She presses on her ill-healed fingers, trying to anchor herself. Luke's gaze on the side of her face feels like sharp needles as she tries not to think about that day. "There was a woman with him," she whispers. "She was sad. And he basically told me to keep fighting, but I was so tired of having to fight against his enemies. Fight his war. We didn't do this, Luke. We didn't start this war, and we obviously didn't finish it well enough. So I got angry. Really fucking angry. Gideon didn't stand a chance."
"But you let him live?"
"Your father stopped me."
Luke stills by her side. "My father?"
"He was the way I remember Anakin Skywalker to have been. Not the person he became." Alora bites the inside of her cheek enough to taste the iron in her blood. "He essentially gave Gideon enough time to catch me off guard. And then, I...I remember a lab and needles and tests. I don't know what they were doing, but it concerns me."
"That is reasonable." By the tone of his voice, she can tell he wants to ask more questions, but she is like a young animal, nervously testing the waters for predators. She wants to trust her friend completely, and she is doing her best to be open and candid, but she can only go so far. Both know that she is approaching her endpoint.
"It concerns me because I have always had a good memory. I never forget a face. Ever. But I don't know what happened on that ship. And when Ahsoka met Grogu, she said he knew me too. But I didn't know him."
"You never forget a face? Really?" Luke leans forward. "I don't believe you. Everyone forgets some things."
"Details, yes, but not a face. When Vader and Fett got us on Bespin, he helped me remember the details, but I always knew his face. I can describe the face of every child Vader killed when the Republic fell. I can describe the face of the Jedi who told us to go to the council's chambers. I might not be able to place people and connect them, but I know if I met them. I know I met the woman who appeared with Yoda, but I can't place her."
When Luke frowns, he looks ahead as if staring at a puzzle in mid-air. "You're telling me that if needed, you'd be able to pick me out in a crowd of people? Or your Mandalorian friend? Or even just a stranger you met at a club?"
A weight settles in her chest as she shrugs. "Everyone but my Mandalorian friend."
"And why not him?"
"Because I've never seen his face."
Luke turns to her. "I've seen his face and how he looks at you. I don't believe you."
"His Creed bars him from showing his face to another living thing. I have never looked at his face."
"He took his helmet off."
"That was for Grogu, not for me." She looks back at the water. "I kept my eyes closed. I wanted to respect the Creed he devoted his life to. Just like I can respect your choice to go the Jedi way. Besides, obviously, his Creed is very important to him." Luke frowns with a silent question that Alora quietly answers, "He went back to them. I did not follow."
"Why not?"
"I still don't know who I am without a creed. I made my opinions about returning quite clear to him, but he chose to go to his people. He chose his Creed, and there's no shame in that. See what I care when he dies for them. Or when you die for your Jedi ideals. I'll be happy to say I told you so when we're all dead, but it will take me a while to join you because I know what you don't."
"And what's that?"
"You give your loyalty to people, not organizations. That is the one good thing Lorn taught me. If you believe in an institution, you have to trust the people in charge who change. If you are loyal to a person, you can trust them and their decisions."
"And what happens when that person leaves? Dies or otherwise?" Luke asks. "But their vision lives on? What would you do?"
Shrugging, Alora rises to her feet and wipes away the dirt. "You carry on the vision or find someone else worthy of your devotion. You, Luke, you are worthy. So is Leia. I love the New Republic and the Rebellion with all my heart, but don't tell me you trust the idiots in charge to do what we were forced to throughout the war. They don't understand like we do. But that doesn't mean we should take their place. I won't do politics, and you have work to do here."
"I appreciate the sentiment, but after all this, I still don't know what you'd like from me."
"Just an ear," she shrugs as she helps him up. "From someone I trust. And I was hoping you would convey a message for me. Tell Leia to stop searching for me. I cannot do what she wants. I need to figure out where I stand in all this as myself, not her personal aid."
Luke nods. "When I see her, I'll let her know."
She grips his arm in a farewell before glancing at a nearby hill. "Take care of him please." She hates that her voice cracks at just the thought of Grogu. "I know you will, I just... Promise me he'll be safe."
"He is safe. I promise."
As she walks away, she refrains from responding with her own thoughts: That's what they said at the temple too.
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Starting with some angst and an old friendship! I think I'll start updating more regularly soon, but it's been busy!
Hope you enjoyed!
-L