...
- Do I understand correctly that the competition lasts for two weeks in the summer? – I inquired, clutching the stuff I received. - Every day we will go racing in this red dress?
- Exactly - agreed the director. - With the difference that you don't have to go every day, you'll be there in the first place. - he said, then, seeing our complete astonishment, he straightened his hair in confusion. – Oh, didn't I mention that? The organizers will accommodate you together with the other schools during the event. But where this year's competition will be held, will only be revealed at the start. Last year, for example, the NASC was organized on Lake Balaton, (Big lake in Hungary) he said. Then, seeing our confusion, he added: - You really don't know the competition?
- Nobody knows it - snapped Bernadette.
- My parents won't let me go if they don't know where am I going - Zsombor shook his head.
– Of course, I took this possibility into account, that's why I would like your parents to call me if they have any questions, I am ready to help them and I will convince them that there is no reason for concern. As I said, by tomorrow morning at the latest let me know if you accept the competition. I count on you! - he stared at us with a pleading look.
- I'm coming - Bernadette said.
- I'm coming too. If it doesn't slip into Sound's time. (music festival) Because there I would go to boogie - said Lorant.
- Boogie? - Zsombi frowned, trying to figure out what this might mean in Lorant's interpretation.
- Yes. Boogie. - nodded Lorant and he clenched his fists in front of himself and he started dancing in the principal's office. Without music.
We all watched in shock, then Director Kocsis shook his head and cut him off.
- It's fine, Lorant, thank you, it will be enough to... whatever you're doing just stop it. - he soothed, looking at us. - Well, we're done then. Thank you for listening, I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for your response, you don't have to wait until tomorrow, you can call me today. Take the sweaters, show them at home, and also the information sheet - the director rubbed his palms together while walking past us, he opened the door and let us out.
Zsombor went forward, followed by Bernadett and Lorant, but I stopped when I reached the door and looked at Kocsis.
- Sir, may we have a few words? - I asked, still clutching the folded up warmer to my chest.
- Of course, Hannah. Sure - he nodded bitterly, and I could tell from the look on his face that he already knew it would be me who declines the invitation. He sat down at his desk chair and rested his chin on his clasped fingers, and he looked at me.
- Thank you very much for thinking of me, but... I can't go... I don't want to go. I'll give this back - I muttered, putting down the clothes on the table.
- Look, Hannah, I understand and empathize with you, honestly. However, I would advise you not to decide so hastily, talk to your father and think about it a few more times. Please! - he insisted.
- I don't want to discuss it with dad, because he would definitely expect me to go, while precisely because of him, I cannot undertake it. I just… I don't want to leave him alone. Especially for so long. I don't… I haven't been anywhere since... Since last summer - I searched for the words with a huge lump in my throat while I twisted the bracelet on my wrist.
- I know - the director looked at me sadly.
- Just please reconsider. It would be really nice to have a realistic student on the team. I'm sure you could add a lot to the competition, not to mention that a little environmental change wouldn't hurt you either.
- Thank you, but my own environment is fine - I insisted.
- Okay. However, I would still leave your nomination pending until tomorrow. Will you allow your name to remain with a question mark until then? - he asked with a nice smile.
- Of course - I said and started towards the door, and Kocsis escorted me out.
- I really count on you, Hannah - he looked into my eyes before I left.
- There are others at the school who achieved much better results then me, they are more suitable for such a competition - I grumbled my shoulder.
- That's not true - Kocsis said immediately.
- You take your academic results as a basis, but I chose according to skills. They are not the same - he encouraged. - By the way, congratulations on your certificate.
- It could be much better.
- From where you brought yourself up, it's more than outstanding performance. Don't be so hard on yourself! You saved a lot for the end of the year - he said kindly, and I smiled gratefully.
- If I were to cancel this competition tomorrow... - I stopped - Have you already notified another student to prepare instead? – I asked.
- No - he shook his head firmly.
- I don't think it would hurt, though - I tried to see if he would understand not to count on me.
- I'm waiting until the last moment, because I believe you will participate.
- I won't - I declared.
- Okay. I will start the search after the deadline tomorrow. Until then, you are in the team - he turned back, went to his table, picked up the sweater and pressed it into my hand. - And take this with you, it was made for you - he encouraged me with a smile. Sighing, I walked out the door and I bumped into the others who seemed to be waiting for me.
- What happened? asked Bernadette.
- Nothing, I just told Kocsis to look for someone else, because I'm not… I'm not taking part in this competition - I looked at them. All three stared at the toes of their shoes and didn't ask anything, in fact, they weren't surprised, so I suspected that until they waited, Lorant told them about the reason of my decision.
We walked silently down on the deserted, quiet corridor towards the stairs. The building echoed with our footsteps, and I walked in silence next to the others while they were talking about the competition. I took it from their words that everyone except me would accept and participate in the National Schools Competition in the colours of Szirtes High School. Everyone seemed particularly enthusiastic about different things.
Bernadette because, she is an athlete, and she's performance and success oriented.
Zsombor because he was proud of being selected for the team as a tenth grader. Lorant because... I couldn't establish that. Maybe because his calves are muscular.
- Where should we sit down to discuss the details? - asked Lorant from the others. Bernadette suggested a cafe with air conditioning, so they were all headed there. I felt a bit like an outsider, so I intentionally walked behind them. I walked down the stairs of the school.
- Hey - Bernadette called back and stopped waiting. - Are you coming with us? - she asked. The others also stopped at this and they looked at me with interest.
- Thank you, but no - I replied.
- Okay - she agreed, as if she had really tried everything.
- Hannah, if you're not coming because you withdrew from the competition, then no problem, feel free to come. You might even change your mind - Lorant opened his arms kindly.
- Thank you, but I can't go... - I began. - I'm meeting with my dad at the Polytechnic Institution, and I'm already late - I looked at my watch nervously.
- What are you doing there? - Zsombor's eyes sparkled.
- Nothing, we'll just meet there, because dad's finished teaching, and we continue from there.
- Your dad teaches at the Polytechnic school? - he was amazed.
- Yes. In the department of differential equations - I told him.
- Oh my God! - Zsombor opened his mouth. - I'm preparing for the Polytechnic! That's all my dreams! - he said excitedly, and smiling, I watched his enthusiasm.
- If you'd like, I'll ask him for you to come and visit sometime. You can look around and he will definitely introduce you to some colleagues. I think they will appreciate your robotics competition results - I offered.
Zsombie looked so shocked that he even forgot to blink.
- Are you serious?
- Sure - I shrugged, because I thought, for me it doesn't take long, and apparently he would be very happy with it.
- Oh my god, thank you so much! You are such a good person, Hannah. I'm sorry you can't come to the competition. But I understand why not. I mean... Lorant told me. And... - he searched for the words, but apparently he was so embarrassed at the touch of the subject that he could not finish the sentence, he just mumbled, so I decided to help him.
- I'll ask my dad when can you come in - I said.
- Thank you - he looked into my eyes sincerely.
- Differentiate what? Lorant got stuck.
- It's not important - I waved, smiling.
All four of us left the building, and after the semi-darkness of the school, we were almost blinded by the sparkling June sun. Lorant took out his phone and called someone.
- Dude! Listen, I'm taking part in the National Schools Competition - he shouted into the phone.
- The what? - someone asked back on the phone, loud enough for us to hear.
- Well, this is a competition that I don't know where it will be and what is needed to do on it, because they didn't tell me that, but they are sending me too! We also got a red sweater. Yeah, I know it sucks, but that's supposed to be the rule. Anyway, listen, because of NACS, I won't be in the gym for two weeks - Lorant tried to explain what is it about.
- NASC - I tried to help him out in a whisper, but he didn't pay attention to me, he was concentrating too much on the conversation.
- Okay, we'll talk about it tonight at training! But you hear me, I was chosen because of my calves. I told you that a few days leg days are necessary - he said enthusiastically.
- Listen! - Zsombi was also looking at his phone. - The school published the post about the competition - he said, while all three of them set off.
I lingered in silence, looking after them and then I walked in the other direction. The company's loud conversation echoed in the otherwise empty neighborhood, and before
they would turn into the other street, I looked at them once more, then I turned back and continued in the opposite direction.
In the hot sun, I hastily took out my phone and I looked at the school website.
Szirtes High School shared a post. A minute ago.
It gives us great pleasure to announce that this year, Szirtes high school can participate in the National Schools Competition (NASC for short) for the first time where our team can measure itself against other school competitors, so we have the opportunity to win the championship and raise the winner's trophy high! The NASC has an eight-year old history, our school has never been able to participate, that's why we count the inclusion as a huge result! The competition starts next Monday, we will keep reporting about developments, and at the weekend we will announce which four of our excellences will represent our school at the prestigious event. Get excited with us! Come on, Szirtes!!! Director Kocsis
The Schools Competition cup was attached to the post, and under the photo the comments immediately started piling up.
"Competition of schools? What the hell is that?”
"What is this bullshit?"
"What what?"
"I have a plastic trophy for sale."
"How can you block the school, it's summer, leave me alone."
"Yes, this is the world-famous National Schools Competition. The famous NASC which nobody has ever heard about”
"It's good, we participate in the competition, which has been going on for eight years and since then, it does not interest anyone!"
"What the hell is the School competition?"
"Does our school even have an excellence? LOOOOL.”
“What race? I dont understand."
“Then no one needs my plastic cup? It's for sale."
"Succeeded! I unsubscribed from the school page!!!"
"Is it possible to watch this race somewhere? YouTube or st?”
"They don't give it anywhere, no one even knows what on earth is it."
"They don't stream it, I looked, it only has a totally lame website, no stream or live, nothing.”
"Who cares anyway?"
“Do they at least have to kill each other?”
"The plastic trophy is sold, no longer for sale."
“Kids, what is this style? Comment politely! Miss Pridict"
"Miss! Why did you fail me???”
“She failed you? And you couldn't pridict it in advance?”
"I would like to ask everyone to comment about the competition! Director Kocsis"
After scrolling through the Facebook comments, I put away my phone, and I sank the provided jumper into the bottom of my bag, and then I rushed to Dad's place at the Polytechnic Institution. During the half-hour walk, which I did almost every day, thoughts alternated in my brain, and I tried to completely exclude them, because I almost collapsed under the weight of the haunting pain of the past.
Avoiding people on the hot asphalt, I tried not to hate the sunshine and everything that summer threw at me as a memory. When I got to the university, dad was already waiting for me. With a big smile I greeted him and gave him a kiss standing on tiptoe, then we headed towards the nearby pastry shop.
- How was your day? - he inquired.
- I got the certificate - I took it out of my bag carefully, so he wouldn't see the red hoodie and the pants, handed it over and he looked inside.
- That turned out great - he looked at me proudly.
- Well, there were things where I could've improved more, but this is significantly better than last year. And every realistic subject is a five - I showed. (In the Hungarian grading system you get grades at the end of every year and grades are from 1-5, 1 being the worst and 5 being the best)
- I see. The rest doesn't matter anyway - he waved laughing, and I really appreciated his attempt, as I knew that wasn't what he thought at all. Last year, in the eleventh grade, when we found out about mom's illness, I couldn't concentrate at all and my grades got deteriorated to such an extent that I almost failed. Honestly it was only thanks to the kindness of my teachers that they allowed me to pass. Then next September, when my mother was no longer with us, all my results continued to deteriorate, and maybe only in December I managed to recover enough to fix them. Compared to that, my certificate at the end of the year can really be said to be wonderful. After an agonizing year and a half, this result was the most I could get out of myself.
- Was there nothing else in school? Nothing? - asked dad, which sounded a bit suspicious.
- Nothing - I shook my head as we joined the pastry shop queue, which reached from the entrance, to the street. People with ice cream in their hand made their way out, while the rest tried to get inside to cool off in the early summer heat wave.
- So you weren't entered in a national competition where you should attend in your school's colours? - he asked amusedly, and a small smile was hiding in the corner of his mouth.
- So before I got here, the director called you.
- I nodded like someone who understands everything.
- He did. But only because you justified your refusal by that you don't want to leave me here for two weeks, which I find absolutely incomprehensible and unacceptable - he shook his head.
- It's not because of you - I denied immediately.
- But you told the director.
- Okay, maybe that's part of the reason. I just... - I was looking for the right words. - I just don't feel like it. It's better if I stay and I'm with you - I shrugged my shoulders.
- I don't agree with your decision - he said angrily.
- You don't have to. It's enough if you accept it - I sighed. - What flavour do you want?Look, there's lactose-free! - I was enthusiastic, entering the pastry shop with the queue, from where the ice cream counter was already visible.
- So your decision is final? - he wondered.
- Yes - I answered. - I don't... - I searched for the words. - I can't do this during this period.
- Will there be a time when you can do it?
- he asked quietly, and I think he didn't even expect an answer, he was just thinking out loud.
I let it go by my ear and asked for a scoop of chocolate and strawberry ice cream. Holding the funnel in my hand, I waited until dad chose as well, then we left the pastry shop and continued walking.
- Good,
I'm not forcing it - he nodded after some silence.
- Thank you - I replied gratefully.
- But know that I looked at the competition's page and it's really good. I consider the start of it an initiative an idea.
- This is the eighth year it's been held - I rolled my eyes.
- Oh! I haven't even heard of it - dad thought.
- I don't think anyone has - I nodded.
- It looks like fun - he enthused, and started talking about what he found on the net about the competition while waiting. However even though he said just before that he didn't wanna force it, yet I didn't tell him to stop because he seemed to like the subject. I was holding my ice cream and looking at dad from behind my sunglasses. He had too many more wrinkles around his eyes and much deeper furrows than
which his age would have justified. The gray hairs in his hair were thick as they sparkled in the sunlight, which is crazy because a year and a half ago, he didn't have a single piece. He aged too suddenly from what has happened to mom, and it wasn't just in his hair and wrinkles.
Somehow, his gaze went blank and vacant, not just when he thought, but also when he was watching. It was like
as if something had died in him. As in me too. From one and a half years ago, starting from the discovery of mom's illness during the struggle until last summer, when her immune system finally gave up, something broke inside us. Something that will never be healthy again and it has left a very visible mark on both of us.
Her one-year anniversary was just a few days ago. Because of the memories, my throat tightened and I was unable to continue eating the ice cream, melted chocolate flowed down the funnel, all the way to my hand, and onto my fingers. Dad noticed and watched with interest.
- Not good? - he asked.
- It tastes a bit weird - I lied and quickly changed the subject.
- What was at university? - I inquired.
- The usual begging and pleading. Exam period –
he smiled.
- I always worry about you at times like this. How come you're not hiccuping all day long?
- I joked, indicating that many university students who did not pass
will probably talk about dad these days. And in general as well.
- Routine - he said with a smile. - What shall we do today? The whole day is in front of us. In fact, the whole summer - he planned.
- I would like to go home - I answered instinctively, and after I said it, I already regretted it, because obviously he did not wanted to hear this answer. But it was too late, it couldn't be undone.
- Okay - he nodded with a bitter smile.
And we went home.
Exciting bit comes with the next chapter