I was a gentle girl - I didn't know much besides what I had endured all my life.
Trauma.
Yet, I didn't become angry like my father, or abusive like my mother. I just sank into myself more and more until there was nothing left to me. Until I was a fly on the wall, a tiny spec of dust, an ant on the ground. Then, I left.
When I was fourteen, I left that horrible place - found a shuttle offworld and smuggled myself onto it. I was still just a small girl in a huge universe. I caught rides everywhere until I found the best place for me to settle.
Endor.
The trees made a perfect habitat for my new life, as they seemed to surround me and hold me close in an embrace. They sheltered me from the rain with their leaves, and became my foundation. I found some trees that had naturally fallen, and I made them my home.
...
I lived there, learning how to take care of myself for four years. That was, until my gentle and routine days were interrupted with a firefight above the planet. I was terrified of the large explosions and the debris raining down. Most of all, though, I was terrified someone would find me.
The battle raged on above my planet for days. It was nearly eight rotations before it all seemed to cease - for good. After that, I went out to see if there was something I could salvage. I often took things to the market, so perhaps a little extra this time around wouldn't hurt. I set out, only a survival knife on my belt. I climbed up one of the nearest trees and hopped the branches until I got to the first pile of debris.
Upon inspecting closer, I found it was an escape pod, and there were bodies inside. I climbed down the tree carefully, and walked over, putting a hand on the pod's thrusters. They were still warm, and I knew this hadn't been there long. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard a banging from the inside, making me jump and gasp. I caught my breath as I looked up, some kind of soldier on the inside, banging to get out. He hadn't seen me, so I jumped behind some of the other nearby debris and watched. The soldier finally got out of the pod, after somehow kicking out the glass. He panted and gasped, falling to his knees in front of the pod.
His armor was white, with grey markings. Some of them even looked like wolf markings. I was intimidated, especially when he took off his helmet. He had a large scar across the right side of his face, and his right eye looked like it was cybernetic. I watched as he used the debris to pull himself to his feet, letting out grunts and groans of pain. I wanted to run, but something kept my feet in place as I watched him. I almost felt sorry. Looking into the pod, it looked like the other troopers who had been with him were dead. It was a shame.
This man panted and reached into the escape pod, trying to get at something inside before finally pulling out a med kit, easing himself to the ground and opening it. He gave himself some kind of shot, probably painkillers, then let out a deep breath, his face contorting in pain.
I didn't understand what I was feeling, but I wanted to help him, somehow. He had obviously been injured, and perhaps in that pod for hours, laying with his dead bretheren. I couldn't bring myself to move, though, until I heard a deep growl behind me of one of the bigger creatures that lived on this planet. I turned to face it, realizing I had forgotten the herb that keeps it away. It growled louder, and I let out a scream, running from behind the debris and out, tripping and falling right in front of that soldier. I scrambled back, trying desperately to get away from the large creature, and the soldier. I thought I was a goner, one way or another.
That's when the soldier pulled himself to his feet and took out a blaster, shooting at the large creature. Although it didn't penetrate the skin, it was enough to scare it away. I scrambled to my feet and turned to leave, but I felt his hand grab my wrist.
"Please," he grunted softly in pain, holding his abdomen with his other arm. "Please, help me."
How could I ignore a plea for help like that one? It was the same plea I had when I was a little girl. "Okay," I said softly, barely a whisper. I nodded to him. "Come on."
He let out a breath, most likely of relief, and limped after me. I slowed my pace for him and kept my eyes out for him at all costs. I thought it over as I led him back to my home. How could I have been so stupid? Letting a complete stranger into my house, let alone a man. I sighed as we walked, shaking my head to push away the thoughts.
"What's your name?" He asked, grunting softly as he followed me.
"Faye," I replied, looking back to him. "And yours?"
"Wolffe," he replied with a soft nod. "Thank you for your help."
"Sure." I sighed again, looking forward as we approached my home. I opened my makeshift door, and allowed him in, then closed it again, ensuring the herb was everywhere to keep those creatures away. I led Wolffe over to my bed, and helped him sit down. "Can you take your armor off? I want to see your wounds." One thing I had learned from a young age was how to take care of injuries.
Wolffe nodded, and took off his armor, piece by piece, until only his black, skin tight clothes were left. "I appreciate you helping me... I promise I'll return the favor."
"Sure," I muttered again, knowing promises were made to be broken. I lifted his shirt to find a lot of bruising, though no bleeding. I pressed tenderly around the bruised areas, and even on them, making Wolffe wince, but it let me know what I needed. "You have a broken rib on your right side. You'll live. I'll get some bandages." I stood up, grabbing what I had for medical supplies, and then sitting beside him again, helping him sit up so I could wrap his midsection. He winced again as I wrapped it tight, but I could tell it helped, especially with the painkillers from earlier. I helped him lay back down. "Rest."
"Do you have any long-range transmitters? If I could get to one, I'd be able to contact the Republic to retrive me."
"I don't have any, but there are some in town. We'll go tomorrow. It's getting dark and there are bad things in the dark."
Wolffe looked like he wanted to protest, but simply nodded, laying back down as I covered him with a blanket. "Just take it easy, and it'll all be over soon." I sighed, knowing how many nights that same statement got me to sleep.
Wolffe closed his eyes. I was amazed at how easily he trusted a stranger. One thing I knew for sure was I wasn't getting any sleep that night.
...
Wolffe woke late in the morning, after I had prepared some food for us. I brought it over to him, helping him sit up. "How did you sleep?"
"Fine, thanks," he replied, grunting as he readjusted, taking the plate from my hand with a soft nod. "The market today, then?"
"You can barely move," I replied, shaking my head. "You're still injured. A 'fine' night's sleep isn't going to change that." I huffed a little at him, although I wasn't sure why I was so upset. Why did I care that he was hurt in the first place, when they had been the ones fighting above my new home? Why, when this was some strange man in my bed? Why, when I knew that he was never going to make good on his promise, and if he hadn't been injured, he would've taken advangate of me?
I didn't realize I was getting emotional until Wolffe said something. "Hey, are you alright?" He reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, but I quickly got up, wiping my eyes.
"I'm fine," I huffed softly, walking over to sit at my makeshift table, eating the food I'd prepared to try and get my mind off it.
"I didn't mean to upset you," he stated, almost in that soldier-like tone, though it was softer. As if he were stating a quiet fact. "I really do appreciate what you've done for me, and what you're doing. I'll repay you for it."
"Don't," was all I could muster in response, before I let out a soft breath. "I mean, don't worry about it. I'm sure you're just saying that in the first place."
"I'm not," he replied, still in that strict, but gentle tone. "What is it you want? I'm sure I can get someone to give it to you."
An unbroken family, I thought, but shook my head. "There's nothing you can give me."
Wolffe sighed. "Well, if you think of something, let me know."
I finished my food and put the plate on the counter to wash later, humming and taking an herb from my kitchen to put on my belt beside my knife. I looked to him. "Don't go anywhere. It's dangerous outside. I'm just going to check my garden." Before he could respond, I was out the door, walking down the riverbank with a shaky sigh. I tended to my plants and pulled the weeds, clearing my head. I harvested what was ripe and got rid of anything rotten, throwing it across the riverbank for the wild animals to get. Seeing as my garden was fenced off, I didn't worry much about the larger creatures getting close. The smaller ones typically didn't bother me much.
When I finally could think stright I gathered what I'd harvested and trekked back up to my house, moving inside to see Wolffe standing and putting his armor back on. I huffed a bit at him. "You're really going to make the journey to the market? It takes me all day for a round trip. You're not going to make it limping and injured. Especially now that your painkillers wore off."
"I have to try," he replied, not looking at me. "They need to know I'm alive."
"You won't be alive later tonight when they get you." I put the produce in a bowl on my counter, walking over and gathering his plate, shaking my head. "You won't make it."
"I'll figure it out. You've been a great help, but I think I've overstayed my welcome."
I crossed my arms. "Fine, you want to get yourself killed? It's beyond me." I shook my head. "Men are always so stubborn, and not only that, you're horrible beings. I don't know why we think we need you when we don't. And another thing, men are always just here to take advantage of us, and never deliver what they promise. So don't bother with that, and it's not-" I stopped myself, realizing I'd said all of that out loud, especially seeing Wolffe's face. He wasn't angry so much as he was concerned.
"Did I upset you?" he asked, much softer than before. "Look, I'm not trying to be a burden... What do you want me to do?"
I blinked, tears rolling down my cheeks. I sniffled, but quickly wiped them away. "I'm sorry, that... That wasn't for you. That... I'm sorry." I chewed on my lip, afraid he would do something to me for retaliating, even though his response was just the opposite. He sat down and just looked up at me, his eyes soft and caring. He didn't speak a word. I sighed, unable to stop myself from crying, swallowing hard and approaching him. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice barely a whisper. The silence was so loud between us as we looked at one another.
"It's alright," he replied softly. "Can I help you...?"
I shook my head. "Nobody can help what's in the past..." I sighed out, shakily, covering my face with my hands as I broke into soft sobs.
Wolffe stood, grunting a bit, but slowly wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to retaliate, but he was soft and warm, even with half his armor on. I cried into his chest for a good ten minutes before finally regaining myself, sniffling and finally pulling away from him. "I'm sorry, I-I'm not trying to trauma dump on you or anything. It's just, I... I don't interact with men anymore. You frustrated me and it all spilled out, and I didn't mean what I said, n-not directed at you at least. I'm so sorry."
He let his arms fall to his sides the moment I pulled away, and he nodded as I spoke. "Don't worry about it, it's alright. I can tell someone has hurt you in the past, and I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. I'll rest, like you said, unless you wanted me to leave. I'd hate to intrude on you any more."
I shook my head, taking a deep, shaking breath. "No, please stay," I whispered. "You're fine, I didn't mean to be upset. I-I just don't talk to a lot of people, let alone men in general. I've had some things happen, and I guess it's a protection mechanism..."
"Don't worry about it. I understand... Everyone has some kind of PTSD. I do, from the war. It's only been a year since it began but some days, it's already too much."
I could tell this man was being vulnerable with me. He took off what armor he'd put on, then stood and sat at the table. "Hey, want to play cards?" He put a deck of cards on the table, offering a small smile.
I pulled up something else to sit on, smiling softly. "Where did you get those?"
"I keep them with me, for those long night shifts."
I hummed and nodded. "You'll have to teach me, though. I've never really played."
"Sure, Faye."
...
Over the next week, Wolffe and I grew close. We had some long nights where we played cards and talked until the moon was high before going to sleep. I did sleep around him after that day, though I always kept my knife on me. I showed him my garden and he even helped me fix my house. He got better and better throughout the week, until we were ready to journey to the markets.
The journey was long, but we made good time, and I even brought some things to sell. Wolffe and I found someone who had a long-range transmitter, and we were able to pay them to let Wolffe send a message. He and I waited in the markets for the Republic ships to come, and they did later on. Before they reached the surface, we could see them in the sky. Wolffe and I stood. We were sitting on the outskirts of the market, and I looked to him. " Will I see you again?" I asked softly, tears coming to my eyes as I reliazed he really had to go.
"Maybe," he replied. "I'd like that."
I sighed softly, looking into his eyes, trying to memorize his details. "Well, don't die in that silly war of yours. Otherwise you'll never be able to." I gently hit his chest, the armor preventing him from being hurt.
He chuckled, a small smille pulling at his lips. "If you ever need anything, you know who to call."
I looked up at him, nodding, then pushed myself into his arms, to feel his comfort and safety around me for what I figured could be the last time. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I softly wept into his neck, the one spot that wasn't covered in armor. His arms englufed me in warmth and safety, and he even kissed the top of my head.
Then, the Republic ships started to land, and Wolffe had to pull away. He put on his helmet, and nodded to me, walking out to meet them. I hid behind the tree, wiping my cheeks and softly sobbing, though it had no sound in caparison to the ship which had been there to pick Wolffe up. Soon, Wolffe was gone, and so were the Republic ships.
So was my heart.
I returned home, making the journey back just before nightfall, and laying in my bed, letting out soft sobs. My blanket and bed smelled like him, but I knew it would be fleeting. For that night, though, I fell asleep with peace, as if he really had been there, holding me.