Warning: Snogging, shirtless Wamuu and implied sex. No actual smut but I'll leave that to your imaginations, you pervs (jk)
Since Jotaro had invited both her and Wamuu around for the sumo, Roberta decided to dress up for the occasion. She let her hair down from it's usual ponytail, and settled on wearing her favourite top (the black strappy one with the little pattern of hot pink stars) and some shredded jeans, alongside a black mesh top and some pink and black stripy armwarmers. Usually she just pulled random clothes from her wardrobe and called it a day as long as they didn't clash, but today she really wanted to make an impression. Living Dead Girl appeared as she was busy shaving her legs in the shower, and raised one non-corporeal eyebrow.
"Someone's dressing up fancy." She commented, tilting her head.
"I just wanna look good, since I'm around my boss." Roberta replied, her pink hair tucked under a shower cap as she lathered her legs and underarms with soapsuds, in order to shave.
"Oh really? Then why did you drop by High Priestess on the way home from work?"
High Priestess was a lingerie boutique, know for being quirky, flirty and a little dirty. The silky black things sat in one of the store's signature purple and gold bags by Roberta's bed, and she flushed scarlet at her Stand's assertiveness.
"I just wanna feel nice, Ok?" Roberta pouted, shaving the hair off her underarms.
"You can't lie to me, I'm your soul! Just be honest... If you like that big stone goober, say so. We deserve nice things in life- like those hugs pecs of his! And did you see that arse? Man, I'd like to be HIS Aztec sacrifice!"
Roberta sighed, but her stand was right. She did find him to be pretty hot, but it was more than that. He didn't just make her flustered, he made her happy. Wamuu was like a warm blanket and a mug of cocoa after the glacier that was Mark, even if he was an ancient god who are zombies.
"Fine, I may have a teensy crush on him." Roberta said, turning her head bashfully.
"You go girl! Just be careful with him, because I don't want my user getting sawn in two."
"Sawn in t... LIVING DEAD GIRL, YOU PERVERT!"
Roberta had agreed to meet Wamuu at the museum at 8pm, where he did his usual statue-replacement trick. The museum staff didn't even notice, and the two walked along the chilly pavements to the apartment building Roberta lived in.
"So, what is this sumo wrestling?" Wamuu asked, gaining stares from humans at his decidedly weird garb.
"It's two fat guys body slamming each other, and whoever falls out the ring first loses. Also, Jotaro can talk about it for hours, so be prepared." Roberta replied.
"Fear not, I like hearing people talk about their passions. For example, when you were telling me about your job and your sports- I loved seeing you become so animated."
"You mean it? Thanks!"
Wamuu looked over at Roberta, taking in her clothes. She always wore blacks and pinks, and this outfit in particular stood out from her others. Not only that, his keen ears could detect the smooth swishing of silk amongst her garments.
A fine fabric, suitable for someone as fine as her He thought. Thousands of years ago he would've scoffed if you told him this, but the truth was undeniable.
Wamuu was attracted to Roberta.
Maybe it was her stand. Maybe it was her knowledge. Or maybe, it was the thousands of little things that made her her. Like how she always used raspberry shampoo, or how she tied her shoelaces with a double knot, or maybe even her fondness for all things creepy. He wanted to tell her, more than anything, but humans and pillar folk don't fall in love.
At least that was what his masters said.
The two arrived at the block of flats, and took the lift up to the top floor.
"Can we do that again? I've never been in a lift before." Wamuu said. It felt like flying a little, yet not as uncontrolled.
"On the way back." Roberta grinned. She knocked on the penthouse door, which was answered by Jotaro. He was in his usual casual wear of a pair of old jeans and a soft black sweater, devoid of any scratchy tags.
"Roberta, Jorge. You're here." He said, leading them into the living room, where Kakyoin was sorting the TV out.
"I brought a gift!" Roberta said, opening her bag and pulling out a bottle of sake. Kakyoin's eyes lit up, and he took the bottle with a smile.
"This is from S City, where I first met Jotaro! It's perfect!" He smiled.
"It's pretty good." Jotaro said, sitting down. "Now, have either of you ever watched Sumo before?"
"Sadly not. We don't have it in Guatemala." Wamuu replied.
"Guatemala? I thought you were from Mexico?" Kakyoin asked. There really was something familiar about Jorge, something he couldn't put his finger on.
"I was born in Mexico, but I spent most of my childhood in Guatemala. I'm from a town called, hm... Los Pilares."
"I've never heard of that." Jotaro said. "Where is it in Mexico?"
"Oh, by the mountains." Wamuu said, deliberately staying vague. The questioning was irritating him, as was having to lie, but Roberta probably wouldn't appreciate him throwing her boss's lover out the window.
"You don't sound like you're from Mexico..." Jotaro added. Wamuu paused, thinking of what to say next. Jotaro saw the expression on his face, and looked guilty.
"M'sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to..."
"I'm from an indigenous culture, we have our own language. No harm done, most people don't think I sound like where I'm from anyway." Wamuu explained. Desperate for an end to these questions, he added: "Why don't you tell me about your favourite sumo wrestlers?"
Jotaro's features lit up in a grin, and Roberta sighed in relief at this. After all, if things went wrong and Jotaro found out she'd technically been stealing from his husband's museum- things wouldn't end well!
Time passed, Sake was drank, and at 11pm the grand sumo tournament came to an end. Kakyoin yawned and stretched like a cat, and Jotaro put a blanket around him.
"I'm exhausted, I'm off to bed. See you later, Roberta. And I hope to see you soon, Jorge!"
He waved them goodbye as they left, unaware to the fact that he'd just drunk sake and watched TV with an ancient being. As Hierophant Green cleaned up after his master, Roberta and Wamuu headed down to the lift.
"That's the first human media I've ever watched on a screen." Wamuu said. "There were adverts for more of them, and I wouldn't mind seeing these moving picture shows. Tell me, what is your favourite "film?"
"Well, there's lots. There's Gladiator- you'd like that- and The Mummy, which was basically a bisexual awakening." Roberta laughed, then clapped a hand to her mouth. Mark had always whined about her "rubbing her sexuality in his face" (aka: Mentioning it), but Wamuu just looked curious.
"Bisexual? What's that?"
"It means I like girls and guys." Roberta said.
"Well, that's something we have in common then, Ms Zombie." Wamuu replied, and Roberta's face lit up.
"Still, you didn't tell me what your favourite film was."
"Well, when I want to impress people, I say that it's Drawing Restraint 9. It's an art film, which means that it doesn't really have a plot, but you can pretend it does if you want to interpret it that way. It's only shown in cinemas, though, so we can't watch it."
"I'd rather like to see this film about mummified beings, Roberta." Wamuu said as they got into the lift. "After all, I did encounter several Pharaohs throughout my life."
"Well, I've got it on DVD, um... if you want to come over?" She replied.
"Now?"
Roberta grinned, feeling a burst of serotonin.
"Oh, screw it, why not?!"
With the film playing on her TV, Roberta and Wamuu sat on the skater's couch, watching it together.
"Scarabs don't really eat flesh, but now I'm going to spend the rest of my life fearing that they do." Said the pillar man. Roberta just laughed, feeling warm and comfortable and just at ease. She took a drink of her tea, and Wamuu noticed her tattoos.
"I don't mean to be rude, but may I see your tattoos?" He asked. Roberta rolled up the sleeves of her mesh top, to reveal her many, many markings.
"Why, they're absolutely beautiful." He said in awe, and went to reach out a hand. Roberta nodded, and he traced their delicate lines with a curious finger. With one huge hand, Wamuu wiped the concealer from his face, revealing his tattoo. Upon closer inspection, Roberta could see that it was made up of letters that looked like Mayan glyphs, spelling out words on his face.
"Can I get a closer look?" Roberta asked. Wamuu promptly pulled her onto his lap, making her squeal.
"You tease!" She laughed, looking at his markings. There was something that felt so good about straddling his huge thighs, thick as tree trunks.
"My marking says "The lord of Winds brings victory via honour and honour via victory. It's in my people's language, but it's long since died out." Wamuu said.
"I'm glad you're still here to tell me stuff like this. You're amazing." Roberta gushed, then gasped.
Shit! Did she say that out loud?!
"I could say the same for you, Roberta. My word, I've neve met a human like you." Wamuu smirked, and Roberta practically turned to putty in his arms.
"Oh my god, really?"
"I don't lie." Wamuu replied. Roberta sat up, so that her head was level with his.
"I love your tattoos... And your piercings... Especially the lip ring." She purred. Knowing how much she was teasing him, Roberta traced a finger along Wamuu's firm, plump lips. He brushed her mouth with one hand, and as if it was the most natural thing in the world, their lips met in a kiss. Wamuu cradled Roberta's cheek in one giant hand, and held her waist in another.
"It's a bit cold out here. Why don't we take this to the bedroom?" Roberta asked, a wicked glint in her eyes. Wamuu nodded, and threw her over his shoulder as he walked off to her room.
"You beast!" She laughed as he lay her on the bed, and resumed kissing her with a fiery passion. Their tongues met, and Roberta's hands tangled in Wamuu's blonde locks as she writhed beneath him.
"Your tattoos... Please, Roberta, let me explore that beautiful gallery that is your skin." Wamuu gasped, suddenly so needy. They flipped over so that he was sitting with his back to the headboard, and Roberta pulled off her shirt. Underneath were her sleeves of tattoos, the delicate tattoos of Oni and egu agba masks that decorated her waist, and even more deliciously... A black, strapless silk bra, trimmed in lace. A matching garter belt stuck out from under her jeans, and Wamuu's eyes widened.
"Stars above..." he gasped, and Roberta ground her hips on him with a sultry smirk, a piercing glittering in her navel. And judging by the bumps under her brasserie- that wasn't the only place adorned by a ring under her clothes. Wamuu pulled off his shirt and jackets and Roberta gave a little gasp at the sight of the golden studs decorating his nipples.
"You bad boy!" She teased, pulling off her jeans. Underneath she was wearing a pair of black lacy panties, and her garter belt connected to black and pink striped stockings.
"That's right, Roberta. I'm absolutely wicked." Wamuu growled, making the archaeologist in his lap squeal. "So how about you come and punish me?"
Roberta kissed her lover with furious passion, and the pillar man gave an elated gasp as she ran her pierced tongue down his abs.
"Don't mind if I do, Wham...."
Meanwhile, a young man was skulking around the Joestar museum. Mark had been awake for only 6 hours today, as he had laid in bed until 5pm, and had been drinking solidly for 5 and a half of those waking hours. Filled with rage and on the warpath for revenge, he'd snuck into the museum just before closing time, ducking to avoid the security guards, and hidden in a cupboard. Roberta loved this stupid fucking place, so he was going to absolutely ruin it! But what first? That canoe? These statues? He recalled something about museums keeping all their good stuff in the archives, and kicked open the door to them. The alarms hadn't gone off yet, because the motion sensors were tracked to record movement of the tags. Drunk and angry, Mark shambled down the archives, smacking stuff off the shelves. A Ming vase shattered, and a Mayan necklace was smashed to dust. He continued this senseless violence, clutching a bottle of vodka in one hand, when he saw a vault door at the end of the hallway.
"The bitch would be furious if I broke the REALLY expensive shit!" He laughed. After all, only rare stuff would be locked away like this, right? He wrenched open the door, to find what looked like a coffin. Mark yanked the white box open, and the UV lights inside shut down.
"Wha the fuck is this? A statue of a guy in a diaper?" He slurred. Suddenly, the statutes' crimson eyes snapped open. Mark screamed and tried to run, but something caught him, something wet and fleshy and slithering, and it was crawling up his body, down his ears, into his...
Oh, yes.
This body would do nicely.