hi guys 🗣️🗣️🗣️ just a heads up !!!! i think ill try updating weekly !! ty 4 ur patience 🩷 and also ! wattpad is finally caught up to quotev on chapters !! (●'◡'●)
FANART !!! this fanart from phoebsslol on quotev is so gorgeous omfg ITS TEWWWW GOOD the outfit is so pretty and then the moth at the bottom ugh so talented 🩷 thank yewww 😍 check out their ig @ stargirl__artstuff !!
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summary - [first name] is really rethinking her career choice (for the millionth time) because of some silly little boy.
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A cooking contest was one of the fun activities between Class A and Class B. You didn't have to do anything, because you were in neither class, so you, like the Pros, were a judge. Really all you had to do was eat and pray you don't get food poisoning! You sat with Kouta on the sidelines, listening to the boy talk shit about the Hero kids, much to your amusement. When he found out that you were in the Gen Ed Course (Mandalay let it slip), he began treating you a bit differently. A little meaner, honestly. You wanna know why.
Still, you were playing Uno again, and Kouta really did suck at the game. He was bad at hiding his cards, too. Or maybe you're just an Uno pro.
"Let's play another game," Kouta whined. "You're such a tryhard-"
"Wow. Take that back," you pouted. You're not a tryhard, just very passionate about the game. You adjusted your sore legs. Your entire body was sore, actually. This training camp was a mistake, honestly.
He refused to even open his mouth, shaking his head in refusal. He would never admit that he wanted you to teach him your Uno technique. He doesn't get why you want to be a hero so bad when you're not even in the course. Why are you here at all? You really are a tryhard. Kouta scowled at you.
Standing up, you announced with a huff, "I'm gonna check on the chefs. Y'know, see that they aren't gonna poison me."
Kouta sprung up. "Me, too."
With a strong hand on top of a struggling Kouta's hatted head, you walked to the outdoor kitchen. You laughed as Tiger yelled at Kaminari for cutting carrots on a board he just had raw beef on. Oh, you're gonna get salmonella for sure.
You loomed over Tsuyu. "Tsu-chan, I'm expecting a five-star curry here! These onions look a bit..." you barraged, in a slightly posh accent. Gordon Ramsey who?
"Looks like shit," Kouta bluntly said.
"It has my love in it, ribbit, and my mom said that's all that matters," she blatantly ignored the rude boy and smiled up at you; you nearly staggered backwards at the brightness.
You then moved onto Shouto, who was julienning green onions right next to Tsuyu. His hands moved quickly and meticulously, like a real chef. Helping Fuyumi make dinner has heightened his cooking skill. He peered up at you through red and white eyelashes. "Hi, [first name]."
You grinned at him, "G'evening, chef!"
"I'm not a chef."
"Okay."
Tsuyu curiously glanced between the two of you. "I don't mean to intrude, ribbit, but how do you two know each other? You two are on first name terms and, [nickname], out of everyone I've seen interact with Todoroki-chan, he seems to be most close to you, though before the Sports Festival – when you declared war – it was like a break-up between you two, ribbit."
A break-up? Haha, you guess it was sorta like a break up! Now that you look back at it, the two of you were being super dramatic about it. You put a hand on Shouto's back. "I met Shouto right before we came to UA," you said. "I think it was literally right after the entrance exam."
"Oh, Todoroki-san," Izuku began, his brows raised, "You were at the entrance exam? I was there with [nickname] and I don't think I saw you."
"No, I wasn't there. I attended the recommendations entrance exam a week prior," he said, still cutting vegetables. "I met [first name] when my sister brought me to hers for dinner."
The shorter boy's bright eyes widened. "Eh, you know her family?" Izuku was shocked. He didn't know you knew each other like that. Yes, you were on a first name basis, but he assumed that... He didn't know what he assumed, actually. How much about you did he not know?
"I've mentioned Natsuo to you before, haven't I?" you tilted your head at Izuku. He tilted his head at you, trying to recall any mention of a Natsuo. Natsuo, Natsuo, Natsuo... Was he that boy you had a crush on? He thinks you've talked about that before.
"It's more like she knows my family."
Tsuyu tilted her head, her dull black eyes boring into your soul. "Really? I would've assumed you two were dating, but you call him Otouto-san sometimes, and I don't think that's very couple-like."
Tsuyu was a girl who was naturally curious. She wanted to know more about your relationships with everyone (especially what was going on with you and explodey mckills); more about you. She was really curious as to why so many people seemed to like you. You're friendly and very pretty, yes, but some of her classmates treat you like a celebrity! Once she saw Momo kiss an envelope before shoving it through the slanting slit of your shoe locker. Well, it wasn't actually your locker. In her flustered state, Momo shoved the letter (totally not a love letter) in the wrong locker.
Tsuyu wants to get closer with you, just to see how you manage to pull so many people in. Yeah, totally for no other reason.
As she, who stood (slouched in her usual resting posture) just at your chest, looked up at you, she started to understand. Wow, are you tall, my goodness.
You cringed at her assumption. "Us? Dating? No, Shouto's literally my son." You put a hand on his head for extra effect. "Like, look at him. Anyways, I call him that because I'm close with his older siblings."
"I'm not your son," he bluntly expressed, putting his knife down. He put a hand on one of your biceps so you couldn't leave as the other took your hand off his head. He realized that he liked having a hand on you, especially his warm hand. "Though, after this, would you like to visit my home?" he innocently asked. "I'm sure Fuyumi and Natsuo would love to see you."
Shouto nodded at his own words; his hand slipped down your arm and his fingers gently lingered at your wrist. He thoughtfully wrapped his hand around your wrist. He liked his, holding your hand. He's never really held someone's hand before, but he liked holding yours. He wondered if he liked holding people's hands in general, or if it was a you thing. This school year, he has already experienced many new emotions, but most of them were with you. He felt especially calm with you at times.
Izuku noticed the physical contact and it made him frown. He reached for one of your hands, but stopped himself. He's being clingy. You're allowed to be touchy with other people, even if you stopped being touchy with him. Still, his heart hurt so much.
You gave Shouto a weird look, but continued on nevertheless. I mean, your girlfriends hold your hands all the time, you have four of them! It'd be a real pity not to have at least one of them being held. "I'd love to come over! I would invite you over, too, but I moved out, and my parents moved to the southwest."
You miss your parents. They're so far away now, and it's almost uncomfortable to hear no response when you say "I'm home." Weirdly enough, they live near Keigo, so if you ever visit your parents, you'll see him, too. Ugh, you miss him. The hero's looking after Bookie for you right now, and you hope they're having fun.
"I'll just visit you then." He gave you a slight smile, and you couldn't resist the urge to ruffle his hair. Shouto still wanted you to come over – maybe the next time his old bastard was away. He would love to show you the garden in his backyard. It was his mother's favorite place, after all. He wondered if you've ever visited his home without him knowing.
"Hey, [last name]-chan, watch this!" Kaminari yelled out. Curious, you turned your head to said boy. He was... balancing a head of cabbage on his head? "If it stays on for more than 20 seconds, you have to go on a date with me!"
You gave him a strange look, scrunching your brows together. Kirishima had been counting, and he was dangerously nearing twenty. "12... 13... 14...!"
Kamakiri, who had been walking over to borrow an ingredient for his class, glared at the blond boy. With his quirk, he grew a sharp silver blade out of his knuckles and sliced the entire head of red cabbage clean in half, causing the vegetable to fall off Kaminari's head. Kirishima let out a small groan, "Aw, you were so close, Kaminari, man!"
Although, he was secretly glad Kaminari didn't make it to 20 seconds. I mean, making a bet about someone was totally unmanly! And, Kirishima, though he was very ashamed of these thoughts, totally thought you were out of Kaminari's (and his) league! The first time he was exposed to your awesomeness was during the Sports Festival. He watched your fight with Mina, and you were great! The way you moved in your fight was fun to watch, and you even said sorry after beating her! Although... That thing with Bakugou was really... He still wondered what was up with you two, because Midoriya and Bakugou refused to tell him.
And while Mina was hornily telling any girl who would listen about how your big hands felt on her waist, he was just thinking about how chivalrous you were! The sportsmanship you showed? Cool!
And he tried to take his chance to talk to you when you were choosing a hero codename in his class, but Todoroki stole you away, and he heard you yell, "girlfriend!?" (he's pretty sure everyone in his class heard it). Then, you and Todoroki came back into the classroom looking all buddy-buddy, and he assumed the worst. Though, he could still be your friend even if you had a boyfriend, right? However, he had still asked Mina to ask you if you had a boyfriend, and you said no. That day, a weight was lifted off of your chest.
When he interned with Tetsutetsu, the silver-haired boy mentioned you at least twice a day, and would text you every morning and night. It was mainly talking about each other's internships though. Everytime Tetsutetsu told Kirishima a story about you, he swore he fell a little more in love with you. Even your texting style was cute! He felt horrible about it, because Tetsutetsu confided him in his little crush on you.
And then Tetsutetsu showed him that clip of you catching five citizens, saving them from falling, and he fell so hard. Tetsutetsu was already fanboying over it, and Kirishima was too! He even considered asking you out to get to know you better. God, you're so heroic. And your hero costume!?? It was perfect! And he kinda liked how he had to crane his neck to look up at you. You looked so good, and you came in first in the hero training, and he regretted ever doubting you wouldn't come in first.
Time and time again, you just manage to blow his mind. Kirishima really admired you. I mean, when you managed to escape the Big Three? That was insane! How are you not in the Hero Course with that performance!?
And now you're at the camp, and you managed to be the first one to arrive at the base – hours before anyone else! Another thing – Kirishima was ashamed of it, but when Mineta was spewing his perverted speech, his mind flickered to you.
With Tetsutetsu having a crush on you and that bet between Kaminari, Sero, and Mineta, Kirishima thought it would be best to just support his friends. That's the manly thing to do, right?
But why was he so jealous? Jealousy – so unmanly of him!
Kaminari, frozen in fear, stared at Kamakiri, who wiped a bit of cabbage off of his blade. "W- What's your problem, dude!?"
"Ask her out like a real man," the lanky boy said, glaring. "Stop messing around." Kamakiri was an avid shipper of you and Tokage, though he would never admit it. These, as Monoma would say, 1-A fiends are ruining his ship!
Kamakiri made his mysterious exit, and Kaminari was suddenly inspired by the intimidating student's words. Yeah, he should just ask you out sincerely, shouldn't he? He should stop treating this like a bet, and put his whole heart into this!
"[last name]-chan, will you go out with me?"
"Hell no."
"This isn't over!"
Sero tapped on your shoulder with a sheepish grin, which you thought was adorable. "Hey, wanna help me get more wood for the stoves?" He wanted to get you alone so he could talk with you one-on-one; maybe he'll even ask for your number!
"Sure!" you replied with a smile. "But, why don't you just ask Yaoyo-chan to make some wood...?"
Yaoyorozu, who had just been talking about how they shouldn't rely on others' help, immediately popped a chunk of wood out of her stomach upon hearing your question. She held it out to you with a blissful smile on her pretty face. "One oak log for you, [last name]-chan. Do you need any more? I don't mind," she eagerly offered, happy to help you in any way possible.
You giggled slightly and took it from her, your fingers grazing hers as you grasped it. "Wow, so quick, Yaoyo-chan!"
"I can already feel the training working..." she quietly said.
You handed the wood to Sero, who took it from your hand with that same grin on his face – though this time, it didn't reach his eyes. One of his eyes even seemed to twitch in irritation. "Oh, we need more wood, and I wouldn't want ya to tire yourself out after training, Yao-Momo!" Sero assured, waving his hand.
"Oh, no, it's perfectly fine," she said, waving his words away. "It'll be convenient, right?"
"But we have a full day of training tomorrow!" he repeated in a slightly strained voice, hoping she got the hint. "[last name] and I don't mind getting more." He gestured towards your arms, "I mean, she's basically two people."
You tilted your head at him. His heart sped up ever so slightly, feeling your eyes on him. Man, you have an intense stare. "Sero-kun, are you...?"
Your voice trailed off, and you realized that he was trying to get you alone. You wondered why – hopefully not for any bad reasons, you don't think this boy would do something like that. But even if it wasn't for a bad reason, you were still semi-suspicious of him. You wondered if he liked you- No, that's absurd, you've talked, like, four-five times, maybe.
But you seem to have some sort of effect on people, having your own little harem. Does that make them furries? I mean, you're pretty... moth-y?
"Oh, are you guys getting wood?" Kirishima questioned, perking up and taking the chance to talk to you more. "Mind if I come along? I'll help!"
"I don't mind-"
"No, we're fine-"
You and Sero spoke at the same time, and you stared at him even harder. Sweat dripped down his temple, as if he got caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. Begrudgingly, he let out a slight sigh, and shrugged. "Yeah, you can come... I guess..."
And Sero was hopelessly third-wheeled.
1-B won the curry cooking competition. (You were being too much of a distraction to 1-A, and Monoma thanked you because he thought you were doing it on purpose.)
As you gobbled your mid curry alongside Setsuna and Komori, Izuku came up to you. You waited for him to say something. His lips pushed against each other.
"Can we... You know..." He nodded his head to an empty table.
Setsuna looked between you two, and put a hand on your thigh. She didn't want you to go with him. You don't have to forgive him, she almost didn't want you to. This is your best friend though. You put a hand on hers and pulled it off of your leg. With an assuring smile, you stood up from your seat, holding your dish. "Yeah, let's go."
Walking to the empty table, that was further away from everyone else, you noticed Kouta walking away from the camp. Izuku noticed this, too, it seemed. You shared a look.
"I'm sorry, I know we were supposed to talk," Izuku said, "but Kouta-kun..."
"No, it's fine."
You led the way, following Kouta's scent. It led to a sort of cliff, one that oversaw the camp and the forest. Sunrises would be gorgeous here. There was a cave, too, one that creeped you out. You hate caves. Izuku gaped at your surroundings. There's a place like this at the camp?
You pointed at Kouta, who was sitting down and gazing off the cliff into the starry sky, pointing out the boy. His stomach let out a large grumble, one that you could feel, and Izuku spoke up, walking closer to Kouta, "You must be starving. Figured you hadn't had anything to eat."
You, being the one holding the curry, stepped forward and held a dish out to the boy. "Curry. The students made it."
Kouta sprung up. "How did you know!?"
You pointed to your antennae. "Remember what I said, Kouta?"
The boy gave you a disgusted look. "Don't do that-"
"Why?" You stared at him, and your eyes creeped him out. "Like Izuku said, you didn't eat yet."
He glared at you. "I'm fine, I don't need any made by you stupid wannabe heroes. What part of 'I'm not fucking around with you scrubs' did you not understand?" You leered over him, and he stumbled back a bit. "This is my secret base. You're not welcome here."
"Secret base?" you slightly chuckled. "Cute."
Kouta growled at you. He thought about your screams, the ones he heard when you were training in that cave. "Getting all hyped about stretching your 'quirks,' it's pathetic, really. You really wanna go that far just to brag about your corny ass 'powers?'"
"Yeah," you said, honestly. You looked at the two plates of mediocre curry in your hands in thought. "I guess I do wanna show off sometimes. But isn't that natural? To want attention?"
There was a tense silence in the summer night's warm air.
Izuku stared at you in shock. No, that's not right. "[nickname]..." That's not why you want to become a hero. You want to help people, like him. You don't want the fame, or attention that comes with being a hero, you want to inspire people. You... That's what you told him. Are you lying? Or, did you actually change? You gave Izuku a shameful look.
Kouta's eyes widened at your words. "Of course you do... You're the worst offender of them all, you... you fucker. You're not even in the hero course, but you're trying so hard," he said through teeth gritted out of frustration. "Why...?"
"Why do you wanna be a hero!?" Kouta asked, his voice raised just above a yell. His small fists trembled against his sides, his knuckles white from the force he was clenching them with.
"I don't remember."
Your confession was simple, quick, and almost flat. Your eyes were scrunched up in dissatisfaction at your own answer.
"Why are you a hero if you don't even have a reason!?" He was angered by your answer. "What do you mean?"
Oh, you made things worse.
"I don't remember," you repeated, this time, your voice cracked in the middle of the word don't. You turned to the green-eyed boy beside you. "Izuku, do... Do you remember? Why I wanted to be a hero? I mean there must've been more to it, right? I don't know anymore..." you admitted. "My memory's been kinda fuzzy lately."
You're starting to forget things again. You nearly forgot about the golden-eyed boy you dubbed dream boy. You would've if you hadn't written about him in a small notebook you owned.
Izuku's eyes must've grown to the size of dinner plates. Oh. You must have memory loss, still. He thought that your memory was back to normal after you woke up from your coma, but you must still experience problems – especially with all the head injuries you sustain during training. "[nickname], you wanted to inspire others, remember? You wanted to set an example and help people. That's what you told me back then..."
"...That sounds right," you whispered, mulling things over in your mind.
Izuku put a hand on your arm and turned to Kouta. "Your parents... Were they the water-type quirk users, the Water Horses?" he slowly questioned.
Kouta whipped around, his eyes wide. "Mandalay opened her big mouth, huh?"
The Water Horses? Were they big heroes? Did you know of them before? And they died, you assumed. Oh. That must be difficult for a kid, for anyone, to grasp. You felt bad.
The green-haired boy gasped and slightly panicked. "Oh, uh, no... Sorry! I just happened to hear about it, and judging from the context... It was a terrible tragedy... I remember it."
"Screw you... You've all got a couple screws loose..." Kouta said, turning away. "Calling yourselves heroes and villains... Killing each other... Like idiots." The young boy's face twisted in a pained expression. "Bragging about your quirks... That's why you end up like that... Fucking idiots..." His voice cracked, and you could see the glistening tears pricking in the corner of his large eyes.
You put down a plate of curry. "You're right," you said. "But I think you're blaming the wrong people."
Kouta was silent. Izuku looked at you. "What do you mean?"
"Kouta. Have you ever thought of who controls the heroes you hate so much? Why they do the things they do? Not everyone wants to be seen as cool – some are genuine heroes." You glanced towards Izuku, who is always so kind. "I may not be one of them, but still... I know I want to help people, even if they're a villain. And I guess..." you trailed off, losing your words.
Would you really help someone if they were a villain? That giant man in Hiroshima... You didn't mind the thought of killing him, and you barely batted an eye when his brother died. You tried to justify your desensitization by telling yourself he killed people, too, but don't killers deserve compassion? Don't they deserve to be seen and understood, too? They're people, too.
Maybe you need to be more empathetic.
Subconsciously, you've split the definition of criminal, or villain, into three categories: necessity, ambition, and actual evil.
A criminal who is a villain out of necessity, be it to make a living or support themself, is understandable. A villain who is motivated by a personal ambition, someone like Stain, might even be relatable. No matter how much killing he did, the man had integrity. He may have been a bit twisted, but that man... And actual evil would be someone like... Hm, you don't actually know an example off the top of your head.
But then again, what defines a true hero? And what defines a villain? Why was All Might the only hero Stain considered genuine? A part of you wondered what Stain would've thought about you. He probably would've called you a phony, a fake. And maybe you are, because you're really beginning to rethink your career path. Maybe there was a reason you weren't put into the Heroics Course, and maybe it was fate.
Maybe you're not meant to become a hero.
You don't have the same drive that kids like Izuku have.
After talking with Tsukauchi, you shortly considered becoming a detective like him, but you don't think you're smart enough or observant enough. Maybe you're meant to clean shitty toilets for the rest of your miserable life. The thought horrified you.
Although you don't remember anymore, there's no doubt younger you wanted to be a hero for shallow reasons – you were a little kid! Of course you wanted to do whatever looked cool! No kid wants to be a fucking office worker at a dead-end job. And you still haven't matured very much.
So maybe you should just give up on this stupid dream and pursue something more realistic. Regardless of what anyone says, you're clearly not cut out of the hero fabric. You frowned at your thoughts. Realistic, ugh. What is realistic nowadays?
"What!? You guess what? Cat got your tongue?" Kouta taunted. "That's what I thought! Get the hell out!" he yelled, pointing towards the path that led back to the camp. His teeth were tightly clenched together.
Izuku held your hand, giving your fingers a comforting squeeze that brought you back to reality. You gave him a slight smile. Zucchan always knows you so well. For a moment, you forgot you were even mad at him. He was just glad you didn't reject his hand.
"No, uh, my parents, they weren't able to pass their quirks onto me..." Izuku said as a nervous drip of sweat ran down from his tanned temple. You stared at him, wondering if your biological parents even had quirks.
Kouta paused. "Huh...?"
"It's a rare genetic thing, but it's been known to happen." Izuku stared hard at a patch of dirt behind Kouta. He refused to look at either you or the boy, but he kept his clammy hand in yours. He felt vulnerable, but knowing you're here with him, although your relationship has gotten a bit rocky, was comforting. "I wanted to be a hero in the worst way, but you can't be a hero without a quirk."
"Everything is centered around quirks now," you said off-handedly. "...I hate it." You really do wish quirks didn't exist a lot of times. It's like quirks opened a whole new world of prejudice!
Izuku let out a humorless chuckle at your words, "I couldn't accept that reality for a long time. So I busted my ass... Trying to move things with my mind, trying to breathe fire..." A slightly embarrassed smile came to his lips when he heard your small, amused chortle. He continued, "There's a lot of stigma regarding quirks, and I can't say this without bias, but... If you reject that harshly, then the only person getting hurt is yourself."
You couldn't help but disagree a bit. "Kouta." You kneeled down in front of him to meet him eye-to-eye, one knee in the dirt. The young boy, and even Izuku, shivered at your solemn tone. Kouta stared into your eyes, those black pools, and he staggered backwards from the intensity of it alone. Your eyes widened at this. Is he... scared of you? Is it because of how you look, or is it you? You smiled genially, trying to seem friendly and calm, which you were, by the way. You don't really like the thought of someone being scared of you. I mean, as a hero, you're supposed to instill hope in people. "Do you ever wish quirks never existed in the first place?"
He was silent, just sorta staring at you in bewilderment.
"D'you think it'd be easier if they didn't exist?" you pressed. "Be honest please."
He hesitantly nodded, curious to where you were going with this.
To be honest, you didn't know either.
Kouta, in a way, reminded you of yourself when you were younger – or more like the subtle rage inside you, the emotions you hid because those feelings are ugly. The rage you felt when you were disgusted by your quirklessness, scratching hateful kanji into your diaries, ranting about stupid quirks, used to bubble inside of you. Some nights you would pray that everyone woke up quirkless so that it was the norm. You wondered if Kouta had similar wishes – maybe he wished everyone had dead parents, or that heroes and villains didn't exist.
Though, now that you have a quirk of your own, and are able to quite literally touch the sky, you don't share the same sentiment. You want to use your quirk freely, and show it off as a hero! You have a cool quirk, why wouldn't you!? And if you became quirkless again...
Becoming quirkless again would be like ripping off an angel's wings, leaving it powerless. After touching Heaven, being quirkless would be Hell.
You wondered what that boy from the orphanage would think of you if he saw you now. He hated quirks, didn't he? You were sure the only reason he ever approached you was because he was quirkless, but still, that golden-eyed boy held a special place in your heart. You wondered if you would ever meet him again. Would he recognize him? Would he recognize you? Oh, God, if he still thinks quirks are disgusting, then your heart would shatter.
You really have changed, and anyone who knew you pre-coma would know it. It's not necessarily a good change either. You're too hypocritical. You feel like you're losing yourself. You wondered if, in another reality, one in which you always had a quirk, you would have been prejudiced against quirkless people. You hope not. Maybe Tomb was right, maybe you are being brainwashed by hero society. The thought disgusted you. Would you admit it if you met him again?
"You remind me of me, Kouta," you ominously said, and you left, leaving the two confused boys behind with a small, "good night."
"I- I'm sorry I wasn't able to say anything with substance," Izuku hastily said, not wanting to lose you. "Please–"
"Fuck off! Go follow that moth girl and get your ass outta here before I make you!" Kouta yelled, throwing his arm out in anger. "Don't even try to act like you care, you fucking wannabe!"
"Again, sorry! Just... Please eat the curry, Kouta-kun, I know you're hungry," Izuku said before jogging away from Kouta's secret base and leaving the young boy alone.
"All of you scrubs need to just shut your mouths..." he grunted to himself. His small hands were clenched so intensely into fists that he was trembling as he stared into the forest. His knuckles were white, too, and he could feel his face turning red with frustration. Stupid fucking heroes!
"You remind me of me, Kouta." Stupid bug! He'll never be like you!
...
wc - 5,074 words
uninspired era 😜 its actually because i dont wanna write the rest of the camp arc and ive kinda just been lazy LOL like im stretcthcing out EVERYYYY interaction so i don't have to write it lmao 😭 and like i said - updates will be like once a week now!!! thank u for reading and commenting !!!