One Week Later
Troian's Pov
"Come on," I say "Don't any of you remember a single detail? Just one teeny, tiny, minuscule little-"
"Troian." Ashley cuts me off "I'm sorry, but I don't remember seeing you with anyone." I sigh. Ashley, Lucy, Shay, and I are all hanging out today, and I'm asking them questions about the New Years Eve party that Aspen was conceived at. Lucy wasn't there, but Shay and Ashley were. They already said they don't remember seeing me with a guy, but I can't help but ask again. I just want answers.
"I know," I sigh "I'm sorry. It's just, I don't know, I guess I just wanna be able to give Aspen answers when she's older. As well as myself."
"We're sorry too Troian," Shay says "There were a lot of people at that party, and I only saw you for what, like five minutes out of that entire night? And it was at the very beginning just after we arrived." I nod, knowing she's right.
"It's really not that big of a deal," I say "Even if I did find out who Aspen's father is, it's not like we're going to fall in love just because we have a child together. I mean we don't even know each other."
"True," Lucy says "But he could still help out with Aspen. Watch her if you were busy, pay child support, just stuff like that."
"Yeah, but money's definitely not a problem." I say.
"And there's always someone who wants to watch Aspen, so that hasn't really been a problem." Ashley says. I nod, knowing she's right. In fact, Aspen's at my moms house right now.
"Anyway," I say quickly "We don't need to talk about that. It was just a quick question. Doesn't even really matter." My friends all glance at each other before nodding in agreement.
"So how has Aspen been? You know, with her new-found allergy and all." Lucy asks.
"She's good. Absolutely terrified of bees, but good." I reply. They all laugh.
"So Troian," Ashley says cunningly "Got any guys that you have your eye on?" She winks at me. I nearly laugh.
"Ash, that's probably the last thing on my mind." I admit. Ashley just scoffs.
"We all know that's not true," She says "So spill it. Who is he?" I laugh, finding it funny how she doesn't believe me.
"Seriously," I say "I haven't really had much time to think about dating."
"We just had a two-month break over the summer." Ashley replies.
"Well, yeah." I say, trying to come up with a good excuse "But I was still busy."
"You're hiding something." Ashley says, only half-sarcastic.
I throw my hands up in mock surrender "I'm not! I swear!"
"Okay Troian, whatever you say..." Ashley grins, clearly trying to bug me.
"She's a busy mama," Shay says in my defence "Cut her some slack."
"Thanks Shay," I smile, then stick my tongue out at Ashley.
"So what about you guys, got any love interests?" I ask all three of them. They all shake their heads. Unlike Ashley, I decide not to drill them about it.
"Would you start seeing someone? You know, if you had an opportunity." Lucy asks. I shrug, contemplating the question.
"I don't know," I decide "I don't usually have much free time, and I wouldn't want to start a new relationship if I was never available to hang out. And besides, if I have free time, I like to spend it with Aspen. She's growing up way too fast."
"She definitely is," Ashley says "But still, you should get out more. You're turning into one of those moms who would rather spend their Friday nights with their kid than with their friends."
"Turning into? I think I've always been that type of mom." I say. My friends all laugh.
"But that's not completely true, I'm hanging out with you guys right now, aren't I?" I ask, smiling.
"Yeah, but who knows, you could've been forced." Shay says jokingly.
"Aw man, you got me!" I reply sarcastically. Ashley looks at me for a second before talking.
"You know, you've changed since you had Aspen." She says "Not in like a bad way, just small things."
"Like what?" I ask.
"Well," Ashley says "You hardly ever swear anymore. In fact, I don't remember the last time you did. Even just now when you said aw man, you could've said something like aw shit, but you didn't."
"I guess I've just taught myself not to swear since having Aspen. I don't want my four year old to expand her vocabulary with swear words. She picks up more than you think." I say.
"Yeah, that makes sense, but she's not here right now. So swear away." Ashley grins.
I shrug "It's just not something that I accidentally do anymore. It's not like I have to think carefully about each sentence and take out any swears before I say them, they just don't even cross my mind most of the time." Ashley's eyes widen.
"How!" She asks "Do you know how many times I've almost sworn around Aspen?!"
"Do you know how many times you have sworn around Aspen?" Lucy laughs. Ashley shoots her a glare.
"Have a baby, a lot will change." I say, thinking about how different things were before Aspen was born. But I wouldn't ever think about going back to those times. The times before I had my little angel.
"Troian, I need to hear you swear again, for old times sake." Ashley decides. I laugh, then lean back onto the couch.
"You're making me sound like I used to swear every second word or something." I say "I didn't really swear that much."
"Yeah, I know." She replies "But now you don't swear at all."
"I told you, I've learned not to." I say.
"Okay," Ashley says, looking excited "You're going to repeat after me. Kind of like those songs you sing at summer camp with your camp counsellor. Except this will be the adult version." Everyone laughs.
"Okay Troian, repeat after me," Ashley says "Shit."
"Shit." I repeat.
"Bitch." Ashley says.
"Bitch." I copy her.
"Fuck." Ashley smiles.
"Fuck." I say "And I know how to swear, I just don't choose to."
"Alright," Ashley laughs "But it's fun, isn't it."
I nod "I have to admit, it is a little a exhilarating." Saying that makes me realize something. If swearing was starting to become thrilling, maybe it's a sign that I need to get out more.