Getting Bianca out to the car was an experience, especially when she started having another contraction while she was walking down the stairs, but they got there in the end. As Cooper helped her struggle into the car, he was quietly glad that he'd never have to experience pregnancy. It seemed extremely inconvenient and more than a little scary.
Cooper sat in the back with Bianca while Mason drove.
"So," Mason said once they were out onto the road, "I think we should establish now that if there comes a point that someone has to look at your vagina on the way to the hospital, it should be Cooper. He's more experienced with these things."
"With what things?" Cooper asked.
"Vaginas!"
"I've seen exactly one of those in person. Now, penises I could do. I've seen a few of those."
"One vagina is more than I've ever seen."
"I'm sure you've seen porn," Cooper said. "Even if you didn't choose to see porn, it's hard to completely avoid."
"I've seen some, but I doubt porn vaginas represent the true diversity of real vaginas," Mason said. "Like, how am I supposed to know if there's actually something happening or if it's just a little flappier than the porn vaginas or something? I watched some birth videos, but they blurred everything, so it wasn't very helpful."
"Oh God, this is the worst conversation I've ever been witness too," Bianca said. It was hard to say whether the expression on her face was due to physical or mental discomfort. "I'm fine. Nobody needs to look at my vagina."
"Well, someone's got to, but hopefully it'll be a doctor at the hospital," Mason said.
"They'll do a lot more than look, but I'm absolutely fine with that as long as it's a medical profession and not either of my brothers-in-law."
"I bet I could do a good job," Cooper mused. "I know what a normal cervix feels like. Though maybe just being pregnant changes what's normal, so that might not help me."
Bianca shut her eyes and massaged her forehead.. "The hospital is only ten minutes away. This baby's not going anywhere until we get there."
"I saw a video once of a lady giving birth just standing up on her way into the hospital," Mason said. "Hey Coop, which one of us do you think would be better at catching a slippery newborn?"
"Uhh..." Cooper said.
Bianca groaned.
They made it to the hospital without incident, though Cooper did get a little spooked when Bianca started having another contraction on the way inside. While Bianca and Mason went up to the front desk, Cooper investigated the wheelchairs and picked out the best one.
"They're sending us to Labour and Delivery," Mason said when they reconvened.
"Okay," Cooper said as he made eye contact with Bianca and held a hand out to indicate the wheelchair.
Bianca looked very much like she was going to refuse, but then she made a pained face as she clutched at her stomach, let out a sigh, and sat down in the wheelchair. She just looked tired and resigned as Cooper started pushing her towards the elevators.
Once they got to Labour and Delivery, Bianca was given a bunch of paperwork to fill out, which was exactly what she was in the mood for while actively in labour. She looked like the only reason she wasn't crying was that she didn't want to waste any energy on it.
Cooper wished he could help her, but a glance at the sheet of paper in front of her told him that would be useless. It was things like her personal details and medical history, and he really didn't know much about that.
As his contribution to the effort, he did his best not to fidget too much while she filled out the forms herself.
#
After the others had left, Sasha headed outside to find Ellie and Abra. He could have just called or texted them, but somehow that felt harder. Phone conversations as a form of communication just confused his brain, and if he wrote them a text message, he'd have to sit down and figure out how to explain everything. In person, he could just say words until they figured it out. That might not have been what he'd chosen with people he didn't know as well, but Ellie and Abra were safe.
Sasha found them slow dancing on a section of lawn in the back garden that was set up near the stereo system and bordered with posts strung with fairy lights. He nudged Abra's arm to get their attention.
Abra immediately placed a hand on Sasha's upper back, a reassuringly familiar touch. "Everything okay? I thought you were with Cooper."
Sasha nodded, and then immediately realised how completely untrue that was. He shook his head. "Bianca's gone into labour. Well, we think so. But Logan is taking his mum home and he doesn't have his phone with him, so Cooper and Mason are taking her. I need to, um. I'm going to go and wait out the front for Logan so that I can tell him, and give him his phone. But, well, I guess people will wonder where Bianca and Logan are? So, someone should tell... someone. I don't know who."
"Wow, okay," Ellie said. "Let me figure that one out. Abra, do you want to go wait out front with Sasha for Logan?"
"Will do," Abra said. "Come on, Sasha. I think I know where Logan usually parks his car."
#
When Bianca had finally made her way through filling out all of the forms in between contractions, a nurse led them to a private room and gave Bianca a gown to change into. As Bianca headed into the connecting bathroom with it, Mason took the opportunity to claim the only chair.
"Pregnancy is so weird," Mason commented. "Imagine having a person inside of you. Just a whole person all up in there, squirming around, trying to get out. And that's just normal pregnancy. Don't even get me started on all of the things that can go wrong."
Bianca popped her head out of the bathroom. "Uh. I might need some help with this."
Mason held his arm out to indicate for Cooper to go. "See, I knew it was important to have plans for this."
"I cannot stress how much this does not need to involve looking at my vagina," Bianca said as Cooper went to help her. "I just can't get the dress off on my own. I can't even reach the zipper."
"I'll shut my eyes," Cooper offered as he joined her in the bathroom. "You direct me."
"Thanks," Bianca said. "I don't think I even care about what you see that much, but Mason has a way of making it so much worse."
Cooper got the zipper down for her and then he provided support as he helped her tug off the wedding dress. He found a railing to hang the dress over to keep it safe while Bianca got into the hospital gown on her own.
They went back out into the main room and Bianca sat down on the edge of the bed and then shuffle-rolled the rest of the way on until she was laying down. She let out a long, deeply exhausted sigh.
Cooper considered sitting down on the side of the bed, but Bianca seemed like she needed space. He sat down on the floor next to the chair Mason was sitting on instead.
"Mason?" Bianca asked as she stared up at the ceiling.
"Yeah?" Mason responded.
"Did you know this was going to happen?"
"Huh?"
"When you started teaching Sasha how to feed the kitten so that he could be your emergency backup, I thought it was just a way to get to know him and make him feel included, but now it just feels really convenient. And you said you didn't drink at all at dinner..."
"Do I come across as such an alcoholic that me not drinking seems unlikely?"
"Well..." Bianca shrugged. "You seem like you enjoy a drink or two, and most people do drink at weddings. You had no reason not to, unless..."
"I'm sure as fuck not psychic, am I? I couldn't have known Logan wouldn't be around to drive you."
"That's true. So you didn't know?"
"'Know' is a strong word. Did I do the things you're talking about because I was worried about you needing to go to the hospital? Yes. But I didn't know I would be right. Honestly, I can't think of a single other time the anxious little gremlin that controls my brain has been right about anything. This may actually be the first time my insane anxiety has made me plan for something that actually ended up happening, and frankly it seemed a lot cooler before you made me explain it, so thanks for that. You just seemed like you were in a lot of discomfort, and it's close to your due date, so... I was worried."
"Thank you," Bianca whispered.
"Sure."
#
Sasha sat in front of the house on a low stone wall that encircled a garden bed and stacked rocks from the garden with Abra. They were curved, mostly smooth, decorative quartz rocks, so it wasn't going too well. They hadn't gotten above three.
They looked up from the game as Logan's car pulled into his parking space.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" Abra offered.
Sasha shook his head. "It's okay. I already scripted out what I was going to say to him in my head."
"Oh, good. You've got this, then."
Sasha put one arm under the sling to support the kitten as he stood and used the other to wave to get Logan's attention as he got out of the car. As Logan's eyes locked on him, Sasha took a deep breath in and stepped forward. "Bianca was having contractions, and Mason timed them and they were too close together, so he and Cooper took her to the hospital."
"Fuck," Logan hissed. "I knew she'd been having contractions, but she said it was okay and she just needed to lay down for a while. I should have known. I shouldn't have left."
Sasha nodded. He didn't know what to say to any of that because it wasn't in the script he'd written in his head. He fished Logan's phone out of his pocket and held it out to him. "Here, I got your phone."
Logan let out a sharp sigh. "Thanks, Sasha." He looked at his phone and then back at his car. "Fuck, I've got to..."
Abra put a hand on Sasha's shoulder as he stepped up beside him. "I'll drive. You call Bianca."
"Thank you," Logan said. "Both of you. We'd better get going."
As Logan and Abra got into the car and drove off, Sasha stayed standing where he was and rocked the kitten back and forth. Well, that was that, he supposed. It was up to the rest of them to figure out now. Time to go hide in the bedroom and snuggle a kitten.
#
A tap on the doorframe announced the arrival of a female doctor as she strode into the room with her gaze fixed on a clipboard in her hand. "So, in labour, are we?"
"I think so, maybe," Bianca said. "I'd really rather not be. I'm three weeks early and I just got married today. I'm not ready for this."
The doctor tossed the clipboard down on the table next to the bed. "I'll take a look and we'll see what's going on."
The second the doctor started lifting the hospital gown, Mason stood, picked the chair up and turned it to face the wall, and sat back down. Cooper shut his eyes and didn't open them again until he'd also turned to face the wall.
"Oh man, I really hope neither of them is the father," the doctor commented.
"My brothers-in-law," Bianca said. "My husband will be coming, this just happened really suddenly. Or, well... maybe not so suddenly. Maybe I just didn't want to believe what was happening."
"Hm, ah," the doctor said. "Well, judging by the dilation of your cervix, it's happening tonight."
"She's three weeks early, though," Bianca said. "Is that okay?"
"Unfortunately the little brats never ask permission first."
"Will she be okay, though?"
"Listen, about ten percent of babies are born preterm, and three weeks early is the least preterm you can be while still being considered preterm. We'll need to do some tests and make sure this wasn't triggered by anything we need to worry about, but try not to stress too much. You're where you need to be and we're going to do everything we can to keep you and the baby safe."
"Thank you," Bianca said. Before she could say anything else, she was interrupted by the sound of a ringtone. "Oh, it's my—my husband. Is it okay if I take this?"
"Sure, go ahead. Tell him there's no hurry. You've got a few hours at least left on this one."
"Logan, hi," Bianca said. "Yeah, I'm at the hospital. I guess I'm in labour." She paused. "No, I know. It's not your fault. Just get here soon, okay?" Another pause. "I love you, too."
"I'll arrange for him to be sent straight in when he gets here," the doctor said. "You're going to need someone who can actually look at you to get you through this."
"Hey, you can't blame us for that," Mason said to the wall. "We had a whole conversation about who was going to look at her vagina if it came down to it, and she didn't seem too keen on either of us doing it. This is respectful."
"There's a really wide cavern between looking at her vagina and staring at a wall," the doctor said.
"Not when your ADHD is as bad as mine," Mason said. "You think I can control where my eyes end up looking for more than five seconds? No, I can't. If I turn around, I'm going to look exactly wherever I shouldn't."
"Hm," the doctor said. "Okay, what's your excuse, other guy?"
"Uhh..." Cooper said. "Also ADHD, actually. I can't be trusted around things I shouldn't look at. It's bad."
"I stare at cleavage," Mason admitted. "I'm not even into boobs, like, sexually, but man do they draw the eye..."
The doctor sighed. "Well, Bianca, there are some other steps we need to take to check up on the health of you and your baby, but since your husband is on his way, we'll wait until he gets here. Send one of these idiots out to call for a nurse if anything changes."
"Thank you," Bianca said.
As the doctor left, Mason gave a careful glance over his shoulder, then stood, picked his chair up, and turned it back around. Cooper shuffled back around until he was facing Bianca again.
Bianca had a hand resting on her stomach and was staring up at the ceiling. "I've seen a lot of cats give birth. They make it look so easy."
"Except the mother of my cat, which died in labour," Mason commented.
Bianca turned her head to look at him. "Your cat, huh?"
"Don't pretend you didn't see this coming. You're not getting him back."
Bianca let out a quiet laugh and then rubbed her forehead. "That's fine, it's just... complicated. You live on the other side of the country, and he's much too young to go on a plane. Plus he belongs to an animal rescue organisation. You bottle feed and hand raise him yourself and you get priority to adopt him, but I can't just reserve him for you if someone else does it. Not a purebred Maine Coon."
"I wasn't planning on giving him up even temporarily. I'll raise him myself. I'll just have to, uh... I don't know. I'll figure something out."
"You could probably stay with us for a few weeks," Bianca offered. "I doubt I'm going to be in the mood for entertaining guests, but the house is big enough that we can keep to ourselves and I'm sure you can take care of yourself."
"A generous offer, but probably not a great idea," Mason said. "I'm sure mum will be around at times, and I don't trust myself not to stir drama. Or her, but, you know. I do tend to escalate things."
"Maybe you could stay with us?" Cooper suggested. "There's enough room for a second futon mat on my bedroom floor. I'd have to make sure it's okay with Sasha, though. You two seem to get along really well, but any change can be a lot for him and he's going to need his rest after all of this."
"I'd be fine with that arrangement, but yeah, make sure it's not going to mess Sasha up. As someone who's been through a mental health crisis, I don't take these things lightly."
"Normally the rescue wouldn't be cool with someone taking an animal two hours away to foster it, but..." Bianca waved a dismissive hand. "If that's what ends up happening, I'm sure I can get them to agree to it. They owe me."
"Thanks," Mason said. "If things don't work out with staying with Cooper, I'll... I don't know. Find somewhere pet friendly I can rent for a few weeks. I'll figure it out."
Bianca nodded, but she was clutching at her stomach again as her expression pinched in pain. Cooper walked over to the bed on his knees and sat down next to her. He offered her his hand and she took hold of it and squeezed.
After a few moments, she relaxed again. She gave Cooper's hand a final squeeze before letting go. "I'm already so tired. I feel like I can't do this. I know that logically that's not true, that women have gone through a lot more than a wedding before giving birth and gotten through it okay, but..." She let out a long sigh.
"You know, I think the worst part is that you don't even really get bragging rights," Mason mused. "Giving birth is just a normal thing, because that's how all people are made. Doesn't matter that almost nothing else anyone else does can compete with it in terms of like... spectacular feats. They make dramatic movies about men going through shit that isn't half as bad."
Bianca shut her eyes and she rubbed her temples. "I don't need anyone to be impressed. Meeting my baby is all I care about. I just wish everything was perfect for her, that I was perfect for her, but we're already off to a rough start."
"Don't go letting perfect be the enemy of good," Mason said. "You'll end up like our mother. A weird little goblin is going to come out of you, and it's going to be pink and greasy and maybe even a little more hairy than expected, but you're going to love her anyway. She's going to be perfect to you because she's yours. And you're going to be exhausted and sweaty and covered in all kinds of filth, and that little goblin is going to love you because you're hers."
Bianca took a deep breath in and nodded as she let it out. "Thank you."
They heard footsteps approaching down the hallway and then there was Logan, in the doorway and then across the room and dropping to his knees next to the bed. He clutched Bianca's hand in his. He looked more than a little dishevelled. "I am so sorry."
Bianca used her other hand to pat the top of his head, petting his mousey brown hair back into place. "For what? Leaving to drive your mother home without telling me? Bad timing, but I get it. She was with you. You couldn't have come to tell me without bringing her with you, and I was done with her for the day."
"I messed that one up, but... no, not just that," Logan said. "I'm sorry for so many things. I'm sorry I wasn't more careful and now you're becoming a mother sooner than you'd planned. I'm sorry this wedding, your wedding, had more to do with what my family wanted than what you wanted. I'm sorry we still live in a house you hate."
"Hey." Bianca ruffled up the hair she'd just smoothed down. "We'd both agreed on how to manage contraception, and what happened was an accident. The wedding is fine. It was never something I cared about, but it's important to your family, so I didn't mind doing things their way. The house wouldn't be my choice, but I'm not hard done by, Logan. We live in a mansion."
Logan lifted her hand off the top of his head and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "I didn't mean to make you feel like you needed to reassure me. I don't want to make this about that. We can talk more later, but we are going to move, okay? We can start looking at houses online when you get home, or whenever you feel up to it. Decide what we want. I want somewhere that will feel like a home for you and our baby."
"But who will look after your grandma's house?"
Logan shrugged. "We'll figure something out. I was a young, single guy when I took the role on. I'm sure it crossed her mind that my circumstances might one day change."
"We'll go sit out in the waiting room now," Cooper said when there was a pause in the conversation. "Good luck."
Logan leant over and wrapped an arm around Cooper's shoulders to give him a quick squeeze. "Thanks for looking after her for me." Logan turned to look at Mason. "And you. You timed her contractions? How did you know to do that?"
Mason scoffed. "I figured that much out with a quick google search. Do you know what a mucus plug is? Pregnancy is so weird."
"What's a mucus plug?" Cooper asked as he stood up.
Mason slung an arm over Cooper's shoulders and led him towards the door. "Oh boy, do I have an educational session for you..."