Chapter 8:
Last Dance
"I know you'll be busy for the whole day tomorrow so is it okay if I take you on an adventure today?" tanong ko kay Ali ng pagbuksan ko siya ng pintuan sa kotse niya.
She texted Levi not to fetch her today so I wanna grab this opportunity to be with her. "You prepared something for me?" excited niyang tanong. I didn't expected that.
"You know since we're about to enter adulthood I just want us to revisit our happy place during childhood." I said trying to dudge the bullet. "Of course." masayang sagot niya.
It's the ocean park since I can't take her to a real beach because it's too far. Ali's so in love with the beach and ocean though I find it scary. She likes turtles, jellyfish and otters so much.
Pababa palang kami kitang kita ko na ang saya sa mukha niya. This place is like Disneyland for her and this is also where we first met each other.
We're eight years old at that time. I don't know the story about our parents' friendship but they drifted apart too.
Ang sabi nila Mama una kaming nagkita nung babies palang kami kaya hindi namin naalala hanggang sa nagkaaway sila ni Tita Kristine. They tried to fix their friendship again when we were eight years old.
"We've been here for how many times yet it still amazed me seeing you all giddy and excited at this place." sabi ko sakanya habang hinahatak niya sa mga gusto niyang puntahan.
"Being here everday is a different experience kahit parepareho ang nakikita at kaya nakakasawa ang ganda nito." napatawa na lang ako sa sinabi niya.
Mas maganda pala dito pag onti lang ang tao. It's quiet and you can appreciate the place more. Napatigil si Ali sa harap ng malaking aquarium. It's a bit dim here and we can only see the lights through the jellyfish.
"I remember seeing you here cry the first time we met." napatigil ako habang inaalala yon. Dito nga ba yon? Umiiyak ako noon pero hindi ko na maalala kung nasaan ako. "I can't believe you still remember that." sabi ko sakanya.
"I remember everything about you." rinig kong sabi niya. "There was a lot of ice cream on your face and you were crying because you got lost from your Mom and then I found you which is weirdly amazing yet magical that both of our parents knew each other... It's as if I was destined to find you so we can reconnect our Moms together." in those moments, it seemed like a normal day but it was special.
A magical day to our Moms.
"Do you miss Tita Kristine?" hindi ko maiwasang tanong sakanya. "I miss her everyday. You know it's funny how I see her as a happy memory when other people feel sad remembering their loved ones." lumapit ako sakanya para yakapin siya.
We were both hugging each other while we watching the jellyfish swim freely.
"And I'm so happy to have you and Tita Celestine at my side." yakap niya sa akin pabalik. "Curiousity strikes. Okay lang ba sayo kung magkaroon ulit ng bagong asawa ang Papa mo?" hindi ko maiwasang tanong.
"It's fine with me. I mean he has his own life too. His world doesn't only revolve around me and the twins but he must've loved my Mom so much that he doesn't feel any sparks, romance and love to anyone." she leaned her head on my shoulder.
Does my Mom still love my Dad then? Iyon lang naman ang rason na naiisip ko kung bakit ayaw niyang magkaroon ng bago?
"Do you think my Mom still loves my Dad? I mean I can understand your Dad's point of view. Their marriage didn't fail. They loved each other until the end but my Mom? I can't understand." hindi ko maiwasang tanungin.
I kinda wanna know her point of view since she knows my Mom.
"I remember what my Dad told me before. Sometimes romance is not for everyone. There are really people who don't prioritise love in a romantic way. They're just living their life full of love— not in a romantic way but just pure love. You get it?" I don't but I get the point.
How can you live your life without romance? How can you not love someone in a romantic way?
"I wanna experience that kind of love where time and death has passed but you're still loving that person. You know just... loving someone for the rest of your life sounds romantic to me." saka siya tumingin sa akin.
I smiled at her. I do wanna experience that too. Pareho naming napansin ang titigan namin ng bigla siyang umatras onti.
"Ikaw? Kailan ka ba magkaka boyfriend?" she suddenly asked. "May... nagugustuhan ka na?" dagdag niyang tanong.
There are times my heart just wanted to explode and shout it to her how much I love her but... I can't. I can't just ruin what we have right now.
"What's with the rush?" iwas ko sakanya ng bigla siyang may napansin. "Are you trying to avoid my question? Really? Kirsten? Do you have someone right now?" mapangasar niyang tanong habang hinuhuli ang tingin ko.
I tried my best not to look at her when she grabbed my cheeks and point my direction at her. "You... like someone?" seryosong tanong niya.
Tinitigan ko siya ng diretso at hinawakan ang kamay niyang nasa pisngi ko para ibaba ito. I like you. I like you. I like you. Those three words keep replaying on my head.
No.
I can't.
Tomorrow's her birthday.
Kakaayos lang namin kanina.
Ayokong sirain. Ayokong sirain. Ayokong sirain. Ayokong sirain. Ayokong sirain. Ayokong sirain.
My heart wanted to confess. My feelings are overflowing right now. "I... don't like anyone." I said feeling breathless betraying my heart.
She smiled and nodded at me as if she was satisfied with my answer. "Thank you for making this so non-special day so special?" and gave me a long warm hug.
"Gusto ko lang bumawi sa nangyari kahapon. I'm sorry I almost ruined your birthday party." sagot ko pabalik. "Okay lang. Bawing bawi ka naman ngayon eh." ngiti niya at hinalikan ang pisngi ko. "Uwi na tayo?" saka ako tumango sakanya.
We both went home feeling light disregarding our issues. I just we're always like this.
"Did you prepare any surprises for Aaliyah?" nagulat ako sa biglaang pagsulpot si Mama dito sa hotel room ko. "Hindi na. Gift lang." I smiled looking at her through the mirror.
"But I thought you'll perform on her debut. You planned it last month, right?" hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihing hindi ko na itutuloy dahil may performance special si Levi para sa girlfriend niya.
"I got busy for the past few weeks so I cancelled it." she looked at me full of concern. This is why I don't tell things to her regarding my bestfriend. Hindi ko alam pero pakiramdam ko parang ayaw niya akong mahiwalay kay Aaliyah.
Is she afraid I'll ruin my friendship with her too like what they did with Tita Kristine?
"Ma, paano kung mag away din kami ni Aaliyah? To the point like we want to cut each other from our life, is that okay with you?" she put down my things and looked at me properly.
"Why would you asked me that kind of question?" saka niya ako hinarap. It took me minutes before I finally had the courage to tell what I really feel about our friendship.
"I don't know... I just felt like you're pushing us too much together like you don't want us to separate. You like her so much." huminga siya ng malalim at niyakap ako.
"I'm sorry for making you feel that way, Anak. Nasanay lang ako na lagi kayong magkasama. Of course I like you more than her and it's normal for friendship to grow and grow apart. At walang makakapalit sa baby ko." she kissed the top of my head.
I smiled at her through the mirror again.
"If you both decided to cut each other then it's fine with me. It's your decision, don't make me one of your reasons to stay in a relationship that isn't worth it anymore. Okay?" ng tanguan ko siya.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she's just curious about us.
"Are you tired of her now?" birong tanong naman niya sa akin. "She's a bit high maintenance." birong sagot ko na ikinatawa niya.
"You're so beautiful right now, Anak. I just wish I could see you with a bigger gown celebrating your eighteenth birthday too." agad akong humiwalay sa yakapan namin.
"Okay. Okay. Sabi ko na nga eh pag uusapan at pag uusapan natin yan dahil nakita mo na naman ang debut ni Ali." kunwaring pagtatampo ko. "I just wanna see my not so little girl in a full glam make up on her most special day." saka hinawi niya ang buhok.
"If you're doing this because of your Dad—" "No, Mom. It has nothing to do with him. Tapos na ang birthday ko. Let's leave it like that, please?" siya naman ang tinanguan ako.
I hope she'll finally drop my debut topic.
Everyone around me loudly cheered when Aaliyah introduced Levi as her boyfriend and then he interrupt her with a performance surprise.
Napatingin ako kay Sam ng tapikin niya ang balikat ko. "You suck!" bwisit kong sabi sakanya at niyakap niya agad ako para sabihing joke lang.
Ang epal niya! Kainis! Bakit kasi ang galing niyang mag observe?
"Ang sweet nila!! Bagay na bagay pa!!" tili naman ni Rachel sa tabi ko habang niyuyugyog pa ako. "Baka may isa ka pang pinsan, Kirsten! Ipakilala mo naman ako." napailing na lang ako sakanya.
Her birthday party quickly ended. Some of her friends wanted a part 2 at Thurder Club because they were all celebrating when Tito Rob she can finally drink ang hindi niya lang alam noon pa siya umiinom kaya umalis sila agad pagkatapos nagpaalam.
And some of her photographers insisted Ali to stay a bit for her ending video. Magpapaalam sana ako kay Ali ng tawagin niya ako. "Can you fix my hair a bit?" lumapit ako para ayusin hanggang sa nagsimula na ang shoot nila.
Kami na lang naiwan kasama ang dalawang photographers niya. The loud and crowded hall suddenly became empty but I can still hear the loud music from the big speakers.
After 10 minutes, the shoot finally ended. Lumapit naman ako agad kay Ali para tulungan siya sa mga gamit niya. "Thank you! Mauna na po kami Ma'am Ali." saka sila umalis.
Kaming dalawa na lang ang naiwan dito. "Thank you for the gift. I love it. But... is too much that I was expecting a performance from you? Hmm? Oh!" halos matapilok siya mabuti na lang naalalayan ko agad.
"Did you drink?" tanong ko ng amuyin ko siya. A smell of whiskey huh? Ang tapang din nito, event talaga niya iniinuman niya! "Just a bit." ngisi niya sa akin at lumapit siya sa table niya at may ininom ito.
Kinuha ko yun at nakitang ubos na. Wow! Paano niya nagawa yung shoot habang may onting tama? "Kirst, it's our song. OMG! " she happily announced.
"Get a rose." biglang utos niya. "Why?" nakita kong may inaayos siyang phone sa table niya at parang nakakatutok sa gitnang stage kung nasaan kami. "Get a rose and give it to me." ginawa ko na lang iyon at para matapos na.
"Here. Can we go now?" sabi ko at nakangiti niyang tinanggap. "Thank you." I was confused when she did a curtsy in front of me as if we're about to dance.
"My last dance." she said and took a step forward towards me. I felt like I forgot to breathe for a moment. She guided my both hands to her waist as she rested her hands on my neck swaying me slowly.
We're dancing together.
We're freaking dancing. I mean we've done this in a club before with more intimate move but this is special.
A special night with her alone.
"Thank you for completing my eighteen roses. That silly Kurt didn't come so 17 lang kanina ang naisayaw ko." she said pouting her lips that made me smile.
She came a bit closer at me. Ramdam ko ang pagkainit ng mukha niya saka niya onti onting sinarado ang kanyang mga mata. "Are you tired?" pabulong kong tanong.
"No. To be honest I'm still a bit hyped up with all the energy awhile ago. And this night is just..." she pulled me closer to her, our nose is already touching.
She was wearing a high heel making our height level with each other that's why she can easily reach me wrapping her arms around my neck. I stopped dancing, I felt like a stone that can't even move.
I was just feeling her.
"This night feels so right and perfect." halos pabulong niyang sabi. Hindi ko alam kung ang malakas ba na tugtog ng puso ko ang naririnig ko o ang kanta mismo galing sa speaker.
At dahil naduduling ako sa sobrang lapit namin, pinikit ko rin ang mga mata ko. I almost shivered when I felt her lips at my side cheeks. Hindi ko alam o ngumiti lang ata siya kaya sumagi sa akin ang labi niya.
Tinaas ko ang kamay ko sa may pisngi niya para maramdaman siya ng halikan niya ang kamay ko and before I could even react she kissed me on my lips and held my hands touching her cheeks.
It was fast.
It happened so fast.
This wasn't our first kiss on the lips. We already kissed during their dare games with friends. It was a simple second peck on the lips.
But this...?
It was longer. She initiated it without a dare.
She tastes like vanilla and bitter whiskey. Her tongue boldly explores me inside my mouth, she was leading our kiss like an expert as I try to roam my hands in every inch of her body wanting to mark her as if she's mine.
She's mine but she isn't.
Levi's name suddenly came popping to my mind.
"Ali..." I called her trying to respond to her intense kisses at me. "Hmm?" para akong nawawalan sa wisyo sa bawat halik niya sa akin.
This isn't right.
Stop, Kirsten. She's your cousin's girlfriend— I stopped. I took a step back.
Pareho kaming hingal na hingal sa nangyari at para siyang nabuhusan ng malalim na tubig. It's like someone slapped the shit out of her knocking her senses.