Every seconds passing by, the more dreadful you felt as you sat down by the passenger's seat whilst your father's driving to a certain destination and eventually arrived. You glanced over at the house through the window as you had to take a deep breath in.
"You sure you're okay?" You heard your father asking from your side as you nodded weakly. "Y-yeah... I'm okay." You looked at your old man with a weak smile before you got off the vehicle while holding something that's neatly gift-wrapped.
Gathering the strength, you walked over the familiar gate, the familiar driveway, looking over the familiar garden and back yard before you eventually reached the front door. As you hesitantly pressed on the door bell, your heart's been praying that the one who'll open the door will not be the one you've been avoiding to see today.
As soon as the door's opened, slight relief washed over you. "Yongjae? You're here early dear boy, Hanni's definitely still in bed right now..." Her mother seemed delighted to finally see you after weeks of you not visiting them and after everything that happened between you and Hanni.
"Do you want me to wake her up?" Her mother was about to walk away before you stopped her. "No, no please, just let her rest aunty. Actually I'm here to see you and uncle..." Upon saying that, the door widened opened as you saw her father had joined you two so you just bowed down respectfully.
"Been a long time since I've seen you boy. What's wrong? You're looking a bit tired. Haven't had enough sleep?" Hanni's father casually asked as if you're his own child and that always cheered you up. "Yeah, I got a little sleep last night but I'm okay."
"Actually, the reason I'm here so early in the morning today..." You breathed out as you handed the gift-wrapped item to Hanni's mother. "...I'm handing this over to you." You said as her mother was observing the item. "For Hanni is it?" She asked as you just nodded.
"Well you definitely can give this over to her yourself don't you boy? I'm sure you and Hanni will be spending her birthday night together later?" Her mother asked again calmly as you could only gulp. "That's just it aunty... I'm sorry but I can't."
"Why? What happened dear?" She asked as you're trying to contain the tears from falling again. "A lot of things had happened aunty. And right now, I'm afraid I can't give this to her directly."
After a short silence, you brushed off the tears. "I'll be going away for a while now aunty and I'm leaving as soon as the next hours." Obviously the news came as a bit of a surprise for Hanni's parents. "Did Hanni knows about this?"
"No, no she doesn't and I'm begging you two, please let it stay this way..." You bowed down as you clarified your wish to them. "...After all these years aunty all I've been wanting for is Hanni to be happy. And right now she already has someone that will do a better job at that than me."
"My only wish is..." You stood your body up. "...this item, this gift is a very precious thing for me and I only ask that you give it to her at a time she needs it the most. As a mother, I surely trust your instinct for the timing."
"Will you be coming back soon dear boy...?" Her mother asked as you smiled bitterly. "Only time will tell aunty..." Then you went over and gave them a hug. "Thanks for everything that you've done for me and Hanni since we're young..."
You walked away from the door before you took one last look at Hanni's windows from the ground. "I'm tired of crying... but today I will cry myself to sleep as I'm walking away and I know I couldn't look back..." You thought to yourself in your weak and tired heart. "...forgive me, But I knew that love is not just about having you in my arms and we'd be whispering promises down the starry night. I knew that what I have for you was love when I found the courage to let you go not because I wanted to, but I have to..."
"Love wasn't supposed to hurt like this. But here I am, standing on the grass that we used to run around when we're young and innocent that now feels like a crossroads of love and loss, knowing that I have to take a different path." You took a breath in before wiping down the tears lumping in your eyes. "...It wasn't about blame or regret; it's about acceptance. I had to accept that our story had reached it's final chapter, and as much as it hurt, I couldn't rewrite it..."
"I love you Hanni..." You whispered to yourself before you got back to your parent's car and immediately drove your way to the airport. And as you're walking away, you're letting go, slowly and painfully, letting your heart crying in the silence and facing the reality that this was really the end for you and her.
How could people easily say love is a beautiful thing but couldn't even say that love also could break you down into a million pieces and as you're walking away, you couldn't help but wonder if letting go was really an act of love or a cruel twist of fate...
The sound of her alarm slowy waking her up from her deep slumber. As the rhtym still flowing, echoing in the space of her bed, Hanni's eventually lifted her heavy eyes before sitting up on her bed. The sleepiness in her face immediately replaced with a happy smile as she realized what today means.
Slowly, she got off her bed before sliding the curtains opened, letting rays of sunshine lightened up her room. Then she sat down at her table as Hanni was reminiscing about last night.
As her mind was floating around the memory of last night, she couldn't help but feeling a sense of longing, moreover after she had experience what hugs filled with love felt like, as if her body told her that it needs it again, it wants to feel safe again.
Hanni fetched her phone from her bed as she got into her contacts and after giving it a few thoughts, she decided to give you a call but it immediately got reverted to voicemail. Confused at what happened and worries soon building up, Hanni just took a breather slowly.
"His phone probably out of battery and he's still sleeping at this hour. It's fine..." Hanni whispered to herself, trying to comfort herself before she got to the bathroom and getting her face washed and her teeth brushed.
After a few minutes, she got out of the washroom and immediately she heard her phone's ringing. Feeling excited, expecting that you're calling her back, she walked over to her phone and instead of seeing your name on her screen, she saw Moon Junhui's name on it.
And then it finally hit her... today's the day she has to tell Jun her decision regarding their relationship and she didn't know why the moment she woke up earlier, as if she'd forgotten everything about Jun and all Hanni's been thinking about was you and only you in her mind.
She spent a few seconds, blanking out, before she snapped back and quickly answered her phone. "Hey, morning~" She greeted Jun.
"Morning birthday girl." Was his reply that made her chuckled lightly. "Thanks~" She replied with a smile. "So, today's the day as well huh? Where should we meet later?" Jun asked rather calmly as she's thinking to herself.
"I'm okay with anywhere, I mean we can have your favourite flat white while we're at it if you want." Hanni suggested. "Sure, I'll text you the location soon. Happy birthday again. See you later." Jun said as Hanni thanked him before hanging up the call.
Hanni then left her phone on the table as she leaned back against her seat. That moment all that she's been thinking about were your words last night. Despite knowing that you wished for Hanni to just continue being with Jun even though the truth was already out on both sides, Hanni couldn't help but thinking about you ever since she woke up.
Now that she had known your feelings of her and somehow Hanni wasn't anymore confused with her own feelings, as guilty as she may feel, Hanni probably had decided already regarding the relationship between her and Jun.
"Hey..." You were greeted by a familiar voice as you looked up to see Danielle's closing in on you before taking the empty seats next to you. "...how're you feeling?" She asked, sounded worried. "I could lie and tell you I'm okay but no I'm not quite feeling alright."
"And that is fine... You don't have to be too hard on yourself. It might not come now, but with time, you'll be alright." She gave your lap a few pats of comfort. "Can you believe today's her birthday?" You whispered to Danielle, grief plastered your voice even though you're smiling weakly but your inside's suffering. "It just had to be today of all day..."
"I could only pray that it didn't have to be this way for you and Hanni. But I know that you can't go back and change the beginning..." Danielle whispered as you looked at her before she gave you a smile. "...but you can start where you are and change the ending. Heal yourself, heal your heart and then you can start searching what it really wants."
"Once again Miss Reliable, thank you so much for that." You thanked her as Danielle nodded. "Anytime, anywhere." She patted your back before you and the other students were summoned for a final briefing and for photo session for the faculty's year book along with the student's respective parents.
"Have you checked everything? Anything's missing?" Your mom asked as you're checking the important things, your passport, wallet and all that stuffs. "Your new phone?" She asked as you showed it to her before putting it in your bag.
"You brought your old phone as well?" You nodded to that question. "Don't keep it in your bag forever okay? If you have the time just turn it on once in a while." Your mother adviced as you nodded before you gave her a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry that I have to do this..." You whispered as your mother's caressing your back ever so comfortingly. "...I'll try my best to study well while I'm there and return here a better person than I am now." You buried your face onto your mother's shoulder.
"Never apologize for something that is not a wrong thing to do..." Your mother said as you listened. "...you love poetry and literature and this is one of those once in a lifetime chance. I just want my son to be happy again doing things he enjoys the most. Can I trust you to come back here and be just that?"
You nodded as your mother wiped away the tears in your eyes before you gave your father the same tight hug. Your father didn't speak much but you understood what he wished for in that embrace. "I'll give you a text when I arrived and got a new number there."
"Say hello to Yongbok and his family for us too okay?" Your father requested as you nodded before giving your parents a kiss on their cheeks. "I love you, mom, dad." Then you and the other students finally got into the departure gate after waving final goodbyes to the parents.
After through the usual flight processes, you eventually seated on the plane next to Wonwoo, one of the students selected and the long flight imminently began while your trying to shut everything off and just get out of there and trying not to look back.
As soon as Hanni got the location she'll be going to with Jun later, she got a usual warm shower but the fact that it's her birthday today made her a bit energetic than her usual self even though she's been feeling a bit fatigued from university, works and her part time job.
While she's drying her hair, her mind's fixated still on everything that happened with you and her last night. As much as she's relieved that she didn't have to lie to herself no more regarding her feelings she has for you, sometimes she's still feeling guilty for even thinking about you when Jun's still there in her life.
As soon as her hair's dried, she sat still by her makeup table while she's staring at her reflection by the mirror in front of her. While's she still, in her head began flooding with all the great memories Hanni had with you, every minutes passed, another memory came by.
"No regrets... No remorse... Full understanding..." She whispered after a deep sigh. While she's doing her hair, Hanni's couldn't help but recalling some of the lies that Jun had said to her prior to that day. It's no secret that Jun's not been truthful towards Hanni at some points throughout the month.
But despite that, Jun's still treating her good, he bought her foods, he took her for walks in the park, he sometimes listens to her and always trying to resolve tension that sometimes brewing between them. And that made her felt guiltier the more she's thinking about it.
After satisfied with her makeup and hairdo, Hanni got herself sprayed with her usual perfume before heading out her room and got downstairs where she saw her parents by the living room. "Mommy, daddy I'm going out now~"
Hanni went over to give her parents a hug. "Did everything turned out okay with Yongjae last night?" Her mother asked calmly as Hanni nodded with a smile on her face. "I'm actually going food hunting with Yongjae later as we always do. Everything's okay now."
"That's good to hear..." Her mother had to fake a smile as she's caressing her daughter's hair. "...but before you go tonight just come back home first okay?" Hanni was confused hearing that. "Okay...? I'm coming home later first. What's going on?"
"Nothing. Happy birthday my Hanni bunny." She got a kiss on her forehead from her mother before she left them with a big smile on her face. Hanni got into her car and drove out, heading towards the destination agreed.
The destination was a café just across of where Hanni's working and after a few traffic, Hanni's arrived at the café eventually and when she walked in, Jun was already sitting at a table by the windows so she quietly walked over to him.
"Hi~" Hanni greeted him with a smile as she sat down across of her as a waiter immediately tended to Hanni. "I'll have the vanilla latte please. Thanks." The waiter walked away with her order as Jun's already having his flat white at that moment.
"How long you've been here?" Hanni asked. "My coffee's still warm so not that long." Jun answered as he took a sip of his drink. "Happy birthday again by the way."
"Thanks. I'm getting old..." Hanni joked with a sad face as her coffee came to the table and she slowly took a sip. "So today's the day huh?"
"Yeah..." Was Jun only answer as his expression was unreadable. "It's been an interesting month nonetheless, at least it was for me..." Hanni said as she's looking down at her coffee cup. "...but like we agreed, no regrets, no remorse, full understanding."
"So should we both say our decision togeth-"
"I'm not continuing this Hanni." Suddenly Jun broke his silence as Hanni was too surprised to say anything back. "W-what do you mean?" She asked as suddenly a person from the table behind them walked over and took a sit next to Jun.
"Why's your friend here?" Hanni recognized the male who suddenly joined them, he's one of Jun's friend and he's also the one who pulled Jun away from her when she and Jun bumped into each other back in Jeju before.
"Seems like we have no time to waste so I'll just cut to the chase." Jun said as Hanni just remained silent despite hearing what Jun's decision was a few moments ago and hoped for an explanation.
"The only reason this whole one-month thing happened was because of this guy." Jun gave his friend a pat in the back and Hanni's even more confused than before. "What he's got to do with us?" She asked. "Oh everything actually. He made me do this with you."
"What are you saying is?" Hanni's slowly feeling a bit frustrated the longer this continued. "This whole month thing with you is a dare Hanni." And by that statement, Hanni's slowly feeling her insides began crumbling down. The fact that Jun and his friend could even snicker at each other after saying that made her blood's rushing to her head.
"So you were just playing me after all this time...?" Hanni's whispered, clearly rage shadowed her tone as Jun just shrugged slightly. "I wouldn't call it playing to be honest, I did enjoy some of our outings before but a dare is a dare so no hard feelings okay?"
And that triggered her temper as all that she's thinking at that point was, how dare he's still able to be smiling and all laughter after he had somehow toyed with Hanni's feelings and the worst of all, Hanni had wasted a month trying to prove a point to herself, to Jun that she's trying to treat him well and be a better partner.
...yet it all came to waste and in the ruckus of all of what's happening, Hanni instantly thought of you and oh the burdened guiltiness she's feeling at that moment, matched with the burning rage she's trying to endure in. A lot could happen in a month and somehow Hanni's wasted it with Jun and that broke her heart and mind.
"I should've known..." Her whisper came in sharp, even Jun felt it as she immediately stood. The urge to just throw the hot coffee onto his face was beyond tempting but Hanni's too mature to be doing that. "...I wasted my time, precious hours of my days and night for you to do this to me..."
"I hope you get what you deserve Moon Junhui..." Hanni immediately walked away and left the café without even looking back as she rushed back to her car. Her hands were shaky as she's trying to get the keys in and start the car.
As she barely got her car running, Hanni got herself into panic attack yet again. She's leaning against her seat; her breathing became heavy as the swirl of emotion's messing up her head. At that point Hanni's too tired of crying yet her tears couldn't stop coming down her eyes.
How terribly betrayed she felt, Hanni screamed out a cry so agonizing that her heart's beating abnormally. Hanni quickly got her car moving as she's driving all the way to your house. Trying to calm herself down while making her way to the front door, Hanni rang the bell as soon as she reached the door.
Her heartbeat couldn't calm down as every seconds felt like a torture before the door was swung opened and your parents was at the other side. "Hanni? Is everything okay dear?" Your mother noticed the uneasiness and how visibly tear-stained her face was.
"I need to see Yongjae aunty. He's here right? I mean his car's there at the garage. Can I see him?" Hanni couldn't control her breathing properly as the panic attack was still there and it's only gotten worse.
"Hanni... can we talk this out insi-"
"I'm sorry to do this aunty-" Hanni forcefully entered your house as she rushed over to the stairs and climbed upstairs and imminently reaching your door. Without knocking, Hanni barged in and she was praying that you'll be in the room but the room's empty.
"Yongjae? You're here?" Hanni called out to you as she's looking around your room before she eventually realized how clean and tidied up your room was while clearly, knowing you, the only time your room would be this organized was when you had to leave the house for a few days.
"Yongjae?" Hanni called out to you again as she walked out of your room and made her way downstairs. "H-He's not in his room aunty... Please tell me he's here..." Hanni asked, begging to your mother to tell her that she's right.
"His room's too cleaned and tidied. He's not home is he? Is Yongjae going away on a trip or something?" Hanni blasted question after question as she's physically trying to stay strong despite her body felt too weak and on the brink of giving up any minute.
"Hanni please listen okay..." Your mother held onto Hanni's shoulders gently as her eyes never left your mother's. "Yongjae he's..." Your mother had to take a breather. "...he's on his way to Australia now as we speak."
"W-what..." Was Hanni's manageable response as at that point, she hit her limit. "...no, no he's here, he can't be going to Australia, he's- he's" Her legs gave up as she knelt down to the ground and cried her heart out in pain. "He promised me he won't go..."
Your mother had to hold Hanni as she's struggling to remain still. "...he promised me" Didn't have the strength left in her, Hanni suddenly blacked out, fainted and it alarmed your parents. "Hanni...? Hanni!?" Your mother gently shook Hanni's body before patting her cheeks a few times before realizing that she's not responding.
"Call the ambulance!" Your mother urged as your father immediately got the emergency on the line. The ambulance immediately rushed over as Hanni's being taken in. "Call her parents as well okay? I'm staying with her for now. And please don't tell our son about this just yet okay?" Your mother got into the ambulance with Hanni as they're taking off, heading to the hospital.
Wait wait wait let me tell you something... Let me tell you somethingg... Not every angsty stories will remain angsty till the end... Right...? 😿